Diaries of Hogwarts Past
by Alysa4eva
Summary: We all know the story of the famous Harry Potter, but what happened at Hogwarts 20 years before Harry got there? These are the diaries of Lily, James, Severus, Sirius, Remus, Peter and OC's. All the way from 1st year until after Graduation.
1. First Day

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

These are the diaries of James Potter and Lily Evans when they attended Hogwarts, and sometimes the Diary of James' friends; Sirius, Lupin, Peter and Lily's friends; Kelsey, Savannah and Severus. Also, I'm not sure if you can make dedications, but I'm going to anyway. This is for my friends; Amys (yes, plural), Cassie, Claire, Courtney, Ella, Emily, Georgia, Grace and Lara. They're awesome. Also, most of the dates here are true. If you read the seventh book it tells you when Lily and James were born so I have the right dates for them starting school (I hope). This is my first story so please be nice and review! I'm always open to constructive criticism.

Chapter 1 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Severus' Diary, 10:49am 1****st**** September 1971:**

Finally, I'm going to Hogwarts!

I'm so excited.

Mum's told me quite a bit, but of course dad doesn't like her talking about it.

She explained all about the four houses, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor.

I hope I'm in Slytherin; it seems by _far_ the best.

I know everything thinks that it's an evil house, but it's really just for people who are ambitious, which is a good trait to have.

I hope Lily's there too.

I don't know _what _I'd do if she's in Gryffindor.

I know everyone makes it out to be the best house, but really it's just a stuck up group of people who think they're the best just because they stay behind to find and end up getting themselves killed.

How smart.

I guess Lily could be in Ravenclaw.

She's really smart.

And I wouldn't mind being in Ravenclaw that much either.

If we were together.

Because Lily couldn't go into Slytherin.

She'd be known as the 'mud-blood Slytherin', but of course I'd never call her that.

But I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the sorting hat sees inside our heads.

I'm so glad I'm _finally_ coming though.

I couldn't _stand _being around Mum and Dad fighting any more.

They never agree on anything.

I'm sitting here right now in the indoor waiting room – there's too much noise on the platform.

And the fact that any of my chances of making a friend will be destroyed if they see me writing in a diary.

I can't wait for the train to come.

Mum's outside, talking to Abraxas Malfoy; Lucius' father.

Lucius is going into 6th year at Hogwarts.

He's a prefect too!

We're great family friends.

Lucius has promised that he'll look out for me.

So no one's going to like pick on me much.

I hope.

I'm already in my robes.

My normal clothes are too shabby to wear in front of everyone.

Then again, my robes are shabby too, but not as shabby.

And I don't really want to wear a blouse on my first trip to Hogwarts.

Oh I can see Lily arriving on the platform.

Write later, **Severus.**

* * *

**James' Diary, ****8:06pm 1****st**** September 1971:**

Ok first of all this is a JOURNAL.

Not a diary.

Diaries are for girls.

And I am a very masculine person.

Anyway.

I'm so excited to be finally at Hogwarts!

Mum and Dad have told me so much about it.

I just knew I was going to go be in Gryffindor.

My whole family has been.

Apart from one of my Aunts.

She was a Hufflepuff.

But anyway.

I started the train ride sitting in a compartment with another boy.

I asked him what his name was, and he replied,

'Sirius Black'

It took me a while to figure out that this was his actual name.

Even though I knew the Black family.

Not well, of course, but my family has mentioned them a few times.

I told him my name, and then there was this long awkward silence as neither of us could figure out what to say.

Then I said, 'So... what Quidditch team do you support?'

So then we had a heated and quite loud discussion over who was going to win the Quidditch world cup this year.

Puddlemere United all the way!

Then two more people entered our compartment.

One of them was a scrawny black greasy haired boy, and the other one is a pretty girl with red hair and sparkling emerald eyes.

Whoa, did I just say that?

I'm getting very poetic.

But she's very pretty.

I really don't like the boy.

Sirius and I ignore them after we say hi, and get back to Quiditch.

But then the boy said he wanted to be in Slytherin.

Then it turned out all of Sirius' family have been there.

I told him that I thought he seemed alright, and he laughed.

I get the feeling he's not like most Blacks.

Sirius and I teased (in Lily's words) 'Sev' for a bit, but they got annoyed and walked out to sit somewhere else.

I _guess_ I could _kind of _feel bad if a concentrate really hard.

Maybe… no.

I lost it.

Oh well.

It was fun anyway.

Sirius and I are so doing that again sometimes.

He got into Gryffindor too.

It was really interesting, because he's a Black, and all the Blacks are in Slytherin.

Except Sirius.

He's the exception to the rule.

I like exceptions to rules.

It's like the rule that you can't go out past curfew.

But that's only if you get _caught_ going out after curfew.

Haha.

But anyway, I'd better go unpack.

Later, **James.**

* * *

**Lily's Diary, ****9:11pm 1****st**** September 1971:**

Today was amazing!

Sev and I got off the train and stood there for a while, not sure where to go or what to do.

Then we heard a big voice calling,

'Firs' years! Firs' years over here!'

We trudge our way through the crowds of older kids to get the voice, and suddenly we both bump into a man who I swear was three of four times my height; at least three times bigger than Sev.

He was MASSIVE.

He looked down at us and Sev and I took a step back.

Then he smiled.

''Ello!' he said. 'What's your name then?'

I looked up at him, terrified, unable to do anything but squeak out,

'Uh... um... L-lily Evans sir.'

He laughed, a booming sound that made everyone turn and look.

'Don' worry, I won't bite! 'Ello Lily. My name's Rubeus Hagrid. Call me Hagrid.' He turned to Sev. 'And you are...?'

'Sev-Severus Snape...sir.' Sev stuttered.

He smiled.

'No need to call me 'sir' Mr Snape, I'm only the gamekeeper 'round here.'

He chuckled (rather loudly) and continued calling out to the first years.

Soon all the first years were gathered around and Hagrid took us all to the lake, where there were a fleet of small boats lined up along the shore.

'All right, everyone in a boat! No more'n four to a boat! All right everyone, hop in!'

Sev and I hesitantly got into a boat that already had two other people in it.

We struck up a conversation as we crossed the lake.

I found out the girl was called Kelsey, and the boy was called Remus.

They were both really nice.

Then we passed the bend and got our first full look of the castle.

Even travelling on the lake you could hear all the 'wow's and sharp intakes of breath as we saw the giant stone walls rising up above us.

It would've looked so forbidding if it hadn't been surrounded in lights and with lights on inside.

Soon all the boats were floating away along the river and all of us first years were standing on the bank, next to a pair of massive doors.

Then Hagrid lifted a giant fist and knocked twice on the door.

Almost immediately it was opened by Professor McGonagall, the same lady who had come to talk to my parents about Hogwarts.

'Got the firs' years for yer here Professor' he said, and Professor McGonagall nodded sharply (pretty much everything she did was sharply) and told us all to follow her.

She turned around and walked back up the corridor with all of us following eagerly behind her.

Except it wasn't the type of eager that said, 'Wow I'm so excited for this I'm going to right up there and do whatever I have to do!'

It was the type of eager that said, 'Ahhh don't leave me behind in this gigantic castle!'

She took us all around the castle, up and down corridors and stairs until I was so confused I couldn't even tell you the direction of where we had come from.

Then we arrived at _another_ pair of large doors, and she turned back to all of us.

'Now, if you would all line yourselves up, we will be heading into the Great Hall for your Sorting. Just know that whatever house you get sorted into is what's best for you. Each house has released magnificent witches and wizards in history, and no house is superior to any other. While you stay at Hogwarts, your house will be like your family. If you do the right thing, you will be rewarded; however any misconducts will be punished accordingly.'

Then she stretched the sides of her mouth in what I think meant to be a smile.

'Good luck to you all.' She said, and then tapped the doors with her wand.

They open, but not as slowly as you would've thought, and we all followed her inside.

There was an old hat sitting on a stool, but I could tell - I don't know how – that it was special somehow.

Then it blinked.

Yes, the hat blinked.

Then it sat up, cleared its throat, and started singing.

I was too amazed to tell you what it sang, but it sang and it was awesome.

I mean, a singing hat isn't what you see every day.

It sang stuff about what each house was like, and I have to say I'd like to be in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.

I don't know why, but Slytherin just seems to... I don't know, make me uneasy.

It just doesn't seem like the type of house for me.

And although Ravenclaw is a cool house for being like smart and stuff, Hufflepuffs still seem nicer and more accepting.

Then Professor McGonagall pulled a scroll out of nowhere and started reading out names.

'Avery, Aidair' was the first person to be called, followed by 'Anderson, Charlotte'.

The both got into Slytherin.

The first Hufflepuff was 'Barrel, Taylor' and her brother 'Barrel, Joshua' went there too.

The first person I recognised was, 'Black, Sirius'.

As he stood, I saw him look over to the Slytherin table, where I could see a blonde haired girl and boy – the girl looked related to him in some way.

His facial expression became... determined? And he strode up to the stool and jammed the hat on his head.

We all waited – evidently there was some debate about where Sirius was going.

And waited.

And waited.

Then, after a minute, we heard the Sorting Hat shout, 'GRYFFINDOR!'

Sirius came out from under the hat, a huge grin across his face and a scowl across the blonde girl's face.

Applause came from the Gryffindor table, and Sirius went over and sat next to a 6th year prefect.

More names whizzed by, and before I could comprehend it, the words 'Evans, Lily' were being heard across the Great Hall.

I gulped, straightened my back and... took a tiny step.

And another tiny step.

I felt a nudge from behind me and saw a girl was there smiling, urging me up towards the hat.

I smiled back weakly, and took a few more steps.

Eventually, I was sitting on the stool with the hat going through my head.

_Hmmm, where to put you?_ I heard it say. _Quite kind, but fiercely loyal, oh yes brave too I can see..._

It was muttering all this stuff about me that _I_ didn't even know, but I thought, 'What about Sev?' without even meaning too.

_Oh yes, Friendship. Loyal I see, definitely, but you're not a Slytherin, definitely not. Quite intelligent and hardworking too, but I guess it better be... _'GRYFFINDOR!'

He shouted out that last word out loud to everybody.

I smiled in relief, and stumbled over to the Gryffindor table.

I sat down and turned to the person next to me, only to find it to be Sirius Black.

I was shocked for a moment, and then glared at him and turned to the person sitting on the other side of me.

I talked nonstop to the prefect next to me, she just smiled and nodded back as if realising how nervous I was, but I tuned back into the sorting to see the girl who had smiled me go up.

The hat only had to wait a few second before deciding 'GRYFFINDOR!'

She looked thoroughly relieved as she came to sit down next to me.

I smiled at her and held out my hand.

'Lily Evans' I said, forgetting that she probably knew that already.

She smiled back.

'Savannah. Savannah Groebacke' she replied, which was lucky because I had been so busy talking I had missed it.

A few more people went up.

'Hent, Jasmine' became a 'RAVENCLAW!', 'Jules, Thomas' became a 'HUFFLEPUFF!', and then 'Lupin, Remus' who I had met in the boat became a 'GRYFFINDOR!'.

The names just whizzed through, with only the people I knew making a lasting impression.

'Maglens, Kelsey' was also a 'GRYFFINDOR!' and 'Eugine Mulciber' (a boy who was rather mean to me on the train) became a 'SLYTHERIN!' too.

Then 'Potter, James' became a Gryffindor, and I made sure to leave no room next to me.

'Snape, Severus' was called too, but after they put the hat on his head it took quite a while for it to decide.

Finally, it yelled 'SLYTHERIN!'

My face fell, and Sev came out looking slightly confused.

He gave me a small smile, and then walked over to the Slytherin table to sit next to Mulciber (what!).

The sorting finished with 'Yew, David', who was put in 'RAVENCLAW!'

The whole Hall started talking hurriedly, but as soon as Professor Dumbledore stood up it was silent again.

He smiled, and spoke loudly.

'Welcome, all of you to Hogwarts. Whether you are returning for another year, or starting your first one, I am sure that your year will be filled with fun, challenges, and most of all, _magic_. I have a couple of announcements, but I am sure you are all hungry and they can be delivered tomorrow. Enjoy.' His eyes twinkled for a moment, and then all the tabled were suddenly filled with food.

It was amazing.

But I'm shattered, and I have to be up in time for breakfast tomorrow.

I'll write again soon,

Love, **_Lily._**

**

* * *

**

**Ok, do you like it? I have to admit, it's a LOT better than what i had before. Reviews?**


	2. Lupin's Secret

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Well the first year or two will be really quick because there's nothing that interesting going on, but I'll try to make it interesting for you.**

Chapter 2 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

**James'**** Diary, 1:32pm 29****th**** September 1971:**

Hey, it's me again.

My first month at Hogwarts has gone by so quickly.

And as much as I miss my parents, I really do love it here.

They told me I would.

And...

I never told anyone this, but I was scared to come to Hogwarts.

I mean, coming to Hogwarts was like the start of a whole new world for me.

It meant that I wasn't a little kid any more.

And I liked being a little kid.

You can do whatever you like, think whatever you like, and dream whatever you like.

When you grow up you have to be serious and focus on doing well.

And I was scared of being by myself in a huge castle.

I know there are lots of kids, but what if I didn't make friends?

What if I tried to introduce myself and people just looked at me like I was an idiot and ignored me?

What if I was in _Slytherin_?

Just before I got on the train I told all that to my dad.

I wasn't going to, but when it finally sunk in that I wasn't going to be seeing him for ages, I just had to.

Then I felt his warm, comforting arms around me and I knew everything was going to be ok.

Then he whispered,

'You know, exactly 27 years ago I was here in this _exact_ spot, saying the _exact_ same thing to my father. And he gave me the best advice I've ever heard, and I've used it all my life. _Be yourself_. And it works. If you be someone you're not, then no one will never actually like you. They'll like what you're trying to be. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they're not worth it. You're _James Potter_. And I can guarantee you that everyone is going to be fighting over being your friend.'

So as the train gave the _TOOT_ that meant 'We're leaving in one minute', I hugged him again and said,

'Thanks Dad'

And I walked on the train with my head held high and made a friend within the first 30 minutes.

Sirius, of course.

And I've learnt so much already.

Defence Against the Dark arts is my favourite class by far, with Transfiguration coming second.

I love flying too.

Actually flying should go first.

Except the classes we're doing right now cover stuff that I had mastered when I was like, 7.

I guess it's necessary for some people though.

Like Lily.

She can't ride a broom to save her life!

Well, she can, but the fact is she has a fear of heights.

I mean, her broom likes her.

It jumped straight up into her hand... on the second go.

But as much as people say that 'you just have to connect with the broom' and 'let instincts take over' there is a large amount of skill involved.

Lily does both those things, yet she fails epically.

Oh well.

Maybe she'll learn eventually.

Not from me though.

She doesn't even _look_ at me, and if for some reason she has to it's either with a scowl or (if for some reason a teacher made her) an obviously fake smile.

I don't get why she hates me so much!

Seriously, every other girl in first AND second year like falls over at my feet.

Except her.

But I'll get her one day.

I swear it to myself.

Ha-ha I sound so serious.

Even though Sirius would never say anything like that.

Sirius, Remus and Peter are with me in the grounds.

We're just chatting.

Remus and Peter are in Gryffindor as well as us.

Remus is pretty cool.

As much as I hate it when he stops some of our pranks, I know that it's good he does.

We'd have a detention every night otherwise.

Peter's ok.

He's short and a bit shy, but he's still fun to talk to.

Here's what they're saying:

Peter: Can you believe Professor McGonagall? I won't be able to sleep for a week with all the homework she's given us!

Remus: Oh. I've finished it.

Sirius: Typical Remus. Think you could do mine for me?

Remus: Sure Sirius!

Sirius: Really?

Remus: No.

Peter: Hey what's with James?

Me: _Uh Oh. I have to hide my journal before they find it! _What? Nothing's up.

Sirius: What's that you're writing?

Me: Umm…. Potions homework.

*Everyone stares*

Remus: Potions homework? We don't HAVE any potions homework James. And even if we did we're supposed to believe you're actually DOING the homework during lunch?

Me: Umm, right. Well it nothing really.

Ahhh I have to go and hide this somewhere.

Note to self: DO NOT WRITE WHERE THEY CAN SEE! (Or at lunch)

Later, **James.**

* * *

**Lily's Diary, 1:55pm 19****th**** September 1971:**

I'm in the library finishing my Defence Against the Dark Arts assignment right now, but I had a mental blank and decided to write in you again.

Kelsey and Savannah are sitting across from me chatting and Sev is with his other friends.

My friends don't like him around much.

Of course they don't say that, but I can tell.

But we're best friends now.

Kelsey, Savannah and me I mean.

Sev and I were always best friends.

They're really cool.

Kelsey's a half-blood, because her mum's a muggle-born (A muggle is a non magical person by the way diary), and Savannah is a pure-blood.

I felt a bit intimidated at first, I was _sure_ that somehow that made her better or smarter than me somehow, but when I told her that she just laughed and said she wished she was half as smart as I am.

My favourite classes here are Potions with Sev, DADA, Charms and Herbology.

Transfiguration is cool as well, but it's really difficult.

Professor Slughorn says I'm a natural at Potions.

I miss Mummy and Daddy, and I write to them every week, but I love it here at Hogwarts.

I miss Tuney too.

Mummy and Daddy say she'll get used to the idea of me being different, and I hope so.

But so far she hasn't replied to any of the letters I sent her along with Mummy and Daddy's, but maybe she's just getting used to owl post.

I was quite shocked when I got my first few letters too.

Potter and Black are always up to pranks, but they haven't got me.

Yet.

But I honestly and openly detest Potter.

I can't _stand_ him.

He's a rude, conceited, arrogant, selfish, egotistical, self-centred, vain, stuck up jerk.

Always running his hand through his hair as if looking like he just got out of bed is cool, and getting detentions three times a week for being an idiot in class and cursing people with the two hexes he knows.

I could go on for an entire foot of parchment with things I hate about him.

And Black's almost as bad.

The only one of their friends that I like is Remus; he's very polite and often works in the library with me.

We get along really well, and he does try to keep 'James' and 'Sirius' under control.

Well I'd better go.

Kelsey and Sav are getting impatient.

And I don't want them to see that I write in a diary.

I'll write later, _**Lily.**_

* * *

**Severus' Diary, 3:13pm 19****th**** September 1971:**

I'm back.

And before you tell me off for writing in class, let me just say that it's potions, I know all this stuff and I'm very bored.

It looks like I'm just taking down notes.

I should be, but I'll ask Lily for them later.

She'll give them to me, of course.

Lily's my best friend.

Even over my other friends, but I don't tell anyone that.

I think my other friends are _starting _to come to terms with the fact that I'm friends with a muggle-born.

They're confused, but they're starting to accept it.

And I think Lily's friends are starting to accept me too.

In front of me are Potter and Black.

I hate them.

They're probably planning another prank to play on me.

Already most of their tricks are on me.

They've already done frogs down my robes, and slugs.

Then they changed my hair pink the whole day.

Except they were having an argument over what colour so all day my hair was switching between pink, purple and green.

Everyone thought it was hilarious.

Even Lily, but she did go hex James Potter into the hospital wing for me.

So my hair was only purple and green.

And then their whole 'posse' goes around calling me Snivellus all the time.

That's even worse than Snape.

At least my group sticks up for me around them.

I'm not going to tell them I'm only a half-blood.

They'd probably kick me out of their group.

None of the half-blood Slytherins go around shouting out their blood status.

Well, I haven't seen anyone answer the question with 'Half-blood', and I know some of them are.

And I _definitely_ haven't seen any muggle-borns in Slytherin.

I can't even _think_ if what would happen to them.

Oh, I have to listen now.

Slughorn seems suspicious.

**Severus.**

* * *

**Lupin's Diary, 10:02pm 19****th**** September 1971:**

The full moon is in 3 days.

I don't know what to tell my friends.

Should I tell them?

No, I won't.

They'd scorn me and tell me I'm a monster, and they'll hate me, and tell everyone… and, and, and-

But I can't think of that.

Professor Dumbledore is so kind to me.

He accepts that I'm just a normal person with an uncontrollable affliction.

But I think Dumbledore just accepts everyone.

He planted that tree for me in the grounds so I won't hurt anyone.

He's a genius.

Madame Pomfrey pokes a knot on the base of the tree and it stills, and I can't get back out because of the tree flailing all its branches around.

But I'm scared someone will notice.

We don't do werewolves until our third year but what happens if an older student realises?  
What if they tell everyone about me?

Parents would start pulling their kids out of school.

No one will want to be friends with me.

I'd have to leave.

So I can't tell anyone.

I'll act normal.

As normal as I can, at least.

I'll tell everyone my grandma is sick and have to go away to see her.

I can use that excuse over and over again if I want to.

If I made up too many different excuses people would find something fishy and they'd find out.

I don't know why I'm even keeping a diary anyway.

What if someone finds it and reads it?

What happens if they find out?

If I'm lucky they'd also know how much I hate myself for it, and that I don't want to hurt anyone or anything.

If I'm lucky maybe they'd just ignore me instead of telling everyone.

No one can know that I'm a werewolf.

Ever.

**Lupin.**

**So there is the new and MUCH improved chapter 2. Reviews appreciated!**


	3. Prank against Snape!

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

This is the first recorded prank against Snape! Hope you like it!

Chapter 3 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**James' Diary, 7:42am 9th October 1971:**

Ok I'm writing this at Gryffindor table during breakfast.

I'm being very careful so no one will see this.

I have to make sure I'm here, not missing, when the Great Hall will be filled with the sound of everyone laughing.

That's right, in about 40 seconds; the best prank in the world is going to be exposed.

In 30 seconds Snivellus Snape is going to be so embarrassed he's going to run away and never come back.

In 20 seconds Slytherin house will be publicly humiliated.

In 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… YES!!!!

Snape is standing on a table in the middle of the Great Hall, singing opera at the top of his lungs.

Hmm, I wonder how THAT happened…

Ok, well maybe I had a LITTLE to do with it….

I took a vial of Singing potion from potions class and let it ferment for a day or two….

And tipped a _bit _into his goblet… And now Snape is…singing opera!

Oh this is gold. This is amazing this is-

Uh Oh. Dumbledore's cast a charm to counteract the potion.

I'd better go look innocent.

Later, **James.**

**Lily's Diary, 11:21am 9th October 1971:**

Ok, well maybe for ONCE James' prank was funny.

JUST once.

Of course, it was never proven it was him.

He was eating breakfast at the time, and he LOOKED surprised…

But I know it was him.

And his little 'gang', Sirius, Remus and Peter.

Well, Remus isn't as immature as them. He's really nice to me though.

But that's not the point.

This morning, at breakfast, Severus was singing opera at the top of his lungs.

I don't know how they did it, but I know it was them.

I just know.

Sev was pretty upset though, after Dumbledore took the spell or charm or whatever it was they used on him.

He went completely red. All his friends seemed to move away from him as if thinking 'I have NO IDEA who he is…'

They don't seem like very nice friends, but if Sev wants to hang out with them, he can.

I don't want him to get mad at me if I tell him his friends are evil.

Oh, that's bell. I have to hurry, Herbology is SO far away from the library, and I'm meeting Kelsey and Savannah on the way.

Until next time,**_ Lily._**

**Severus' Diary, 2:32pm 9th October 1971:**

GRRRRRRRR!

I HATE that Potter and his little friends, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew!

This morning, they made me sing opera in front of the whole school.

I think I know how.

We were making singing potions last Friday, and I'm SURE I saw Potter take a vial of some.

I told that to Professor Dumbledore, but he said there was no proof of that, but he had his eye on Potter.

He'd better.

I would never usually be writing now, but my friends seem to be avoiding me for today.

I guess they don't want to be seen around 'Singing Snape'.

That's right, I now have another nickname.

Complements of Potter and Black, of course.

Lily was the only person nice to me today.

She told me it wasn't that bad, and everyone would forget it.

Her eyes were sparkling though, so I think she found it funny.

At least she talked to me.

Usually she tries to avoid me when I'm with my friends, I was upset at first but she told me it was for me, she was thinking that I didn't want to be seen with a 'Mudblood'.

It was very nice of her.

Lily's my best friend.

Yes, I said it, even better then my other friends.

But I can't tell them that.

The grounds look really pretty in autumn.

Usually I don't see them, I'm in the dungeons with my group, but today I'm out and about.

Oh there they are. I'd better join them in cursing that Hufflepuff girl, so maybe they'll talk to me again.

Luckily we don't know very good curses yet. I hate to think what they'd make me do if we did.

Bye, Sev.

**Kelsey's Diary, 9:47pm 9th October 1971:**

Hi Diary,

This is my first time writing in my diary!

Lily gave you to me and one to Sav as well.

I think she gave one to that Snape guy as well.

Are they _friends_?

Lily doesn't deserve to be around him.

He and his group are so mean; they were cursing Lucy Mulch today.

She's a little Hufflepuff girl, and she's very nice.

Then they called Lily a Mudblood.

I can't believe it!

How dare they!

She's smarter than all of them put together!

I told them to go away, and they asked why they should listen to a stupid half-blood like me.

One of them was smiling at Sav though, I guess she was worthy of being smiled at. Even if she was in Gryffindor, she was still a full blood.

But she didn't smile back.

She poked her tongue out and told them to get lost.

Well, now that I think of it, Snape wasn't saying that too.

Actually, he was saying that we weren't worth it, and they should leave.

Normally I'd be offended, but I think he was trying to be nice.

Like, getting them to go away.

Well, I'll be keeping my eye on him.

Mark my words, I will.

Ha ha I sounds so serious when I say that.

Don't tell Sirius I said that, he'll be all, 'You can't be serious, I'M Sirius!'

He's so funny.

For some reason Lily doesn't like them.

Maybe because they're always picking on Snape?

Oh well.

Oh, I have to go to bed now, it's lights out.

See you soon, **_Kelsey._**

* * *

Please review! And special thanks to Saphire at Dawn, for all the help she gave me.


	4. Quidditch and a Full Moon

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

This is where you find out about Lily's other friend, Savannah. And, as promised, I dedicate this chapter to my best friend Cassie.

Chapter 3 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Lily's Diary, 8:42am 18th October 1971:**

Ok I know I shouldn't be writing this in the middle of History, But Professor Binns won't notice.

He's too busy going on about the goblin war or such.

There's a Halloween Ball on the 31st, but it's not open to 1st years.

It's a shame, because I would've loved to go.

But it's the first Quidditch match of the season tonight.

The only reason I know is because James, Sirius, Remus and Peter have been excited about it for the past 2 weeks.

When I asked James what Quidditch was he gave me this hour lecture on how it was played and all these strategies.

Actually now that I think about it Remus isn't going to the match.

He's going to visit his grandma I'm St Mungo's just before the game.

But he seemed pretty edgy about it.

He must be worries about his grandma.

James is insisting I go to the game.

He's saving me a seat in the stands, but I don't think I'll sit with him.

He's so mean to Sev; I don't really like him much.

Him and his little 'cronies'.

I'd go sit with Sev but his friends would make fun of me.

And him.

Being friends with a 'mudblood' and all.

Oh, that's the bell. I'll write later.

Love, _**Lily**_.

**Savannah's Diary, 12:22am 18th October 1971:**

Here I am diary!

At first I was a bit surprised when Lily gave me you as a present, but keeping a diary is kinda fun!

This morning I had History, and I think I saw Lily writing.

And since she never takes notes (no one needs too) then I think she was writing in HER diary.

I'm not so naughty, to be using the fact that the teacher's a ghost to write in a diary.

I'm using Slughorn, a teacher that's very much ALIVE.

But it's only theory this potions lesson, so it's ok.

I just hope nobody find you and reads you, diary.

And just in case they do, I'm not going to put in my secret.

That's right, my one big secret that no one, EVER, could know.

If people found out it would be disastrous.

My life would be ruined.

People would hate me forever.

I mean, it's not my fault!

How could I have control over things that happened before I was born!?

But still, no one can know.

I'd be so ashamed.

I'd be a social outcast; no one would want to be friends with me.

For some reason, I think Remus gets it.

He doesn't know, he couldn't, but he saw me crying the other day.

Instead of laughing at me and running off to tell James and Sirius, came up to me and gave me a hug.

He didn't say a word, he was just there.

As if he knew what it was like to feel like that.

But he couldn't, he's from a _respectable _family.

I have to go.

Bye, **_Sav._**

**Remus' Diary, 7:41pm 18th October 1971:**

I'm so scared.

I'm shaking all over.

Of course, not on the outside.

I seem normal enough.

To them.

I told them I had to leave to visit my grandma in St Mungo's, and I'd be back on the 20th.

That gives me enough time to recover.

I'm in Dumbledore's office right now.

Hiding.

I can't be seen outside, and then people would know I was lying.

But the first Quidditch match is a moonlight game, so I could never be there.

I'll be able to hear it though.

If I'm able to hear it when I'm a monster.

The worst part is not knowing.

Not knowing if I've hurt someone, or if someone saw me, or what I did.

I wake up in the morning in Dumbledore's office, hoping that I stayed inside the shrieking shack.

Hoping that I didn't murder anyone, or infect anyone with this… this… this… curse!

Only Dumbledore seems to understand.

All the other teachers seem a bit wary of me around that time, but not him.

He's so kind to me.

He says one day that werewolves will be treated respectfully.

Not like vermin, or monsters.

Like normal people.

I hope he's right.

Oh, here comes Madam Pomfrey.

To take me to the Shrieking Shack.

The full moon is about to rise.

I'm scared.

I'm leaving you here diary, I don't want you ripped when I become a monster.

See you tomorrow, if I live that long.

**Remus.**

**Sirius' Diary, 10:12pm 18th October 1971:**

I can't believe this.

What have I been reduced to?

Writing a diary!!?

No, not a diary.

A JOURNAL.

That's it.

But I still can't believe it.

Me, the one, amazing Sirius Black, writing a journal.

What would my mother say?

Well I guess this is one of the reasons I'm writing this.

Because I know it would infuriate my mother.

But this Qudditch match was awesome!

Gryffindor one, of course, and they were playing Hufflepuff.

We won 190 – 20.

We thrashed them.

Next year Jamesie and I are going to try out for the team.

Well, I am, he's too shy.

Which is why I'm going to build his self confidence.

And I know the best way.

I've already got a list of about 20 pranks to play on people.

By 2nd year James won't be afraid to do ANYTHING.

Of course, Peter will never have that self confidence.

I mean, he's cool and all, but he seems a bit withdrawn.

And Remus, he'll never be a bad boy.

That little TP.

Actually, he's not here at the moment.

He's visiting his grandma in St Mungo's.

Like he did last month.

I wonder if she's ok.

I don't want to make him upset.

Um, I mean, I've got other stuff to think of.

Hey…

I could've SWORN I just heard a howl…

But it must have been my imagination.

Later, **Sirius.**

**

* * *

**

Please Review! I promise I will reply to all your reviews, unless you dont want me to. I love knowing when people read my work!


	5. James' Present

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Ok, I'm dedicating thing chapter to my bestie Ella, the person who showed me fanfiction.

Chapter 5 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**James' Diary, 3:32am 3rd November 1971:**

I don't know why I'm up this early.

I just couldn't sleep.

But Lily seems to hate me.

Well, Sirius too.

Just because we put spiders sown Snivellus' pants doesn't give her any reason to hate us though.

Well, maybe it does.

I feel like something's about to happen.

Something that's going to change my life.

God that sounds cheesy.

But it does.

Wait.

I can hear something.

_Wings._

Coming from outside.

What the hell?

It's Hermes.

My owl.

And he's carrying something.

A parcel or something.

I'll just go get it.

Ok I've got it here.

It's… some material or something…

There's a card on it.

It's from… Grandfather?

What's he doing sending me something?

I haven't seen him in almost 2 years.

He lives all the way in America.

The note says:

_Dear James,_

_I'm sure you must be wondering what I'm doing sending you something._

_We haven't seen each other for 2 years._

_But I have something for you._

_I was going to give it to your father, but he's not right for this._

_So, instead, I'm giving it to you._

_Use it well._

_Grandfather._

Wow.

Wonder what it is.

It's a cloak of some sort.

But-

Oh my God.

It's an invisibility cloak.

**James.**

**Peter's Diary, 1:54am 3rd November 1971:**

Ok, I have to make sure no one ever sees this.

Because guys can't have diaries.

But I like diaries.

Which is why no one can find out.

But, to be save, I'll call this a journal.

And before you ask, I'm writing this through Charms.

I hate Charms.

I'm just not good at it.

Or Transfiguration.

Or anything at all as a matter of fact.

James and Sirius are though.

They're good at everything.

But I feel so special being part of James' group.

He, Sirius and Remus are so cool, and now I'm in their group!

I always used to be the kid that was left out of everything, now I'm in the group with the most popular guys in the house.

But I don't want to get in trouble so much, so I don't join in all their pranks.

Just some.

But James seems really tired this morning.

He was like falling asleep at breakfast.

He didn't even hex Snivellus as he walked past.

He must've been up all night or something.

But he seems kinda excited as well.

I don't know why.

Oh, I have to go.

Bye, **Peter**.

**Severus' Diary, 3:25pm 3rd November 1971:**

I'm in the library waiting for Lily at the moment.

My friends are having a 'chat' with Professor McGonagall.

They were being rude in Transfiguration.

So I'm using this opportunity to hang with Lily.

Actually when I told her she looked pretty excited.

I think she WANTS to see me.

It's not like when my other friends roll their eyes and go 'Sure' in a bored voice.

Her eyes lit up and she smiled.

Lily is really pretty when she looks like that.

Shut up Sev!

Why did you even say that!?

Change of subject.

Is something up with Potter?

He hasn't insulted, hexed, or cursed me today.

In fact, he didn't even look at me.

He looked so tired this morning.

Maybe that's why.

He looked like he had been out all night.

Maybe he had been.

Maybe I could catch him out one night and get him expelled!

Or, at least, get him a detention.

And, awesome news, Lily doesn't like him either!

She told me the other day when Potter winked at her and ran a hand through that hair of his.

He thinks he's so cool.

Oh, here comes Lily.

I'd better go.

Write later, **Sev.**

**Lily's Diary, 7:33pm 3rd November 1971:**

I got to see Sev today!

Well, I always see Sev, but I never usually get to spend time with him.

His friends are always there.

But today he told me he wanted to meet me in the library, because his friends were in trouble for something or other.

It was really nice.

We went for a walk by the lake, and Sev told me there were merpeople that lived down there.

And a giant squid.

I wonder what the mermaids are like, but I've got a funny feeling their not the colourful, jumpy, playful mermaids in books and movies.

And then, we saw James.

He was sitting beside a tree with Sirius, Remus and Peter.

That's when I though 'Oh no'.

But for some reason, he didn't strut over and hex Sev.

He barely saw Sev.

He looked up and smiled at me then…went to sleep!

Well, not really to sleep.

Just closed his eyes.

Like he was up all night.

And, also confusing, the rest of his group seemed just as confused as I did.

They obviously had no idea what he was doing last night either.

James Potter has a secret.

And I'm going to find out what it is.

_**Lily.**_


	6. Sirius' Birthday

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Ok, I'm dedicating thing chapter to Georgia, my best friend since year 4.

Chapter 6 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

Sirius' Diary, 6:13am 18th November 1971:

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

I AM OFFICIALLY 12 YEARS OLD!

I'm the oldest in my group.

Remus is 2nd, and James is 3rd.

Peter's the youngest.

One of the oldest in my year actually.

I could've gone into Hogwarts last year.

I'm so glad I didn't.

Sometimes I wonder if I would be different.

If I hadn't met James on the train that day.

Would I be in Slytherin?

Who would my friends be?

Would I be this much of a nuisance to all the teachers?

Would my parents love me more, if I got into Slytherin?

Would Reg look up to me, like he now looks up to Avery and Mulciber?

But most of the time I try to ignore thoughts like that.

What's happened's happened, and there's nothing that can change that.

Except for a time turner.

But anyway.

More importantly, at the foot of my bed, are presents.

A whole MOUNTAIN of them!

Well, not a mountain.

But heaps and heaps of them.

More than I ever got at home.

Before Hogwarts Mother and Father used to get me something.

Something small, not too exiting.

It's not like I was the prodigal son, not like Regulus.

But sometimes it was a few galleons, or a new poster (of something pure-blood, of course).

Regulus of course got Black family heirlooms, and broomsticks and stuff.

But Reg used to get me the coolest stuff.

One year he got me the entire collection of Phoenix Heat (BEST band), and another year he got me tickets to see the Chudley Cannons and Puddlemere United verse each other in the semi finals (with the rest of the family of course).

But that was before Hogwarts.

Now I'm lucky if they even send me a happy birthday card.

Regulus still does, when out of sight of his Slytherin buddies.

But no more exciting presents.

But some of these presents seem exciting.

I seem to be very popular here.

Should I wake up Jamesie, Remus and Peter?

They wouldn't be able to get mad at me because it's my birthday…

Or I could just open the presents without them.

Then they'd probably get mad too.

But…WOW.

The dorm is completely transformed.

They've hung posters everywhere, and signs saying 'Happy Birthday Sirius!'

How'd they do it?

I went to bed after them.

Oh well.

Who cares?

OMWG.

THEY HAVE FOOD!

They must've got the house elves to send some up!

It's a mini feast!

Ok I've GOT to wake them up now.

He he.

I shouted at them and now their all groaning at me.

I better put this away before they see.

I'll write later, **the now officially 12 years old Sirius**.

James' Diary, 9:48am 18th November 1971:

This morning was AWESOME.

I can't believe the house elves went to ALL that trouble.

Well, ours do.

But I never thought the SCHOOL house elves would go to all this trouble for a student.

A very naughty student at that.

But they did.

There were meat pies, sausage rolls, cauldron cakes, pumpkin pasties, liquorish wands, chocolate frogs, and, get this, a 5 tier cake.

I'm not kidding.

It was vanilla, with red and gold icing, and said, 'Happy Birthday Sirius' on it.

It was so good.

No one in Gryffindor could eat anything at breakfast.

I gave him the coolest present ever.

It was a bag, but it had an undetectable extension charm on the inside pocket.

Perfect for sneaking stuff places.

It also had a few posters in it.

Peter gave him a camera; we took the first one this morning.

It has all of us laughing and grinning, with Sirius poking out his tongue sometimes.

Remus gave him a Book.

We were so confused, it was leather bound and it had 'Transfiguration' on the front.

It was so typical of Remus.

But then- and this was genius- he opened it and it had all the Quidditch teams since the 1200's in it.

And broomstick models, and the 4 balls, and moves as well.

The cover changes too.

He tapped it with his wand and said 'Quidditch' and the cover looked like it was supposed to.

Then he did it again and said 'Charms' and it turned into a Charms cover page, so you could read it in class.

It was brilliant.

He got so many other things too.

He got heaps of Zonkos tricks, and lollies from Honeydukes (which he WILL share with us).

But I can't name them all.

We're planning a big prank for today.

Lily's going to be so mad.

Not that I care or anything.

Later, **James.**

Lily's Diary, 12:12pm 18th November 1971:

It's Black's birthday today.

We had a party in the boys' dorm.

Even at 6:30 in the morning, it was worth it.

They had so much food.

They even had chocolate éclairs!

But the cake was the best bit.

One of the best cakes I've ever had.

I even gave Black a present.

Even though I don't like him much (he's a rude, conceited jerk!), it was still polite, especially since I came to the party that morning.

I gave him one of those sugar quills, one of the nice older girls got it for me at Honeydukes.

He really seemed to like it, he actually smiled.

Not one of those cocky grins he always wears, but a proper smile.

Kelsey gave him a bottle of rainbow ink (how is that possible?), which was really cool, and Sav gave him a signed photo of the Chudley Cannons.

She said that her uncle was friends with the manager's cousin or something.

Sev wasn't very happy when I told him I went to the party.

He asked me why I wanted to hang out with Potter and Black, but I told him I barely talked to them.

He seemed to cheer up a bit.

He hates Potter and Black even more than I do.

I think it has something to do with them hexing him every time they see each other.

At least they don't hex me.

But they're so infuriating!

They just annoy me so much!

They're both arrogant, conceited, rude, know it alls!

Everything they say to me, they manage to make me feel stupid, and small.

They're always teasing and making fun of people, like they own the school.

We've only been here a few months!

It's maddening!

But we don't have any classes today, since it's a Saturday, so Kelsey Sav and I are in the library.

They're playing wizard's chess.

It's quite fascinating.

The pieces physically fight for possession of the square, but the invader always wins.

At the end of the game the pieces put themselves back together.

Sav's the best at it.

She once checkmated me in 5 moves.

Wait a second.

Sirius just walked in.

And I know something is up, because he NEVER comes into the library.

EVER.

He's... looking at books?

TOUCHING the books?

_READING _the books?

Something's up here.

Oh, Kelsey and Sav have finished their game.

I should go now.

Love, _**Lily.**_

Avery's Diary, 9:54pm 18th November 1971:

I can't believe I have this stupid journal.

And I can't believe in writing in it.

But I am.

So I'll deal with it.

Apparently it's that traitor Black's birthday today.

Turning his back on his own house and family to go into _Gryffindor_, the _best_ house.

Ha, like it is or ever will be the best.

Everyone thinks it is.

You only ever hear about the heroic Gryffindors.

But there are plenty that...went off the tracks a bit.

Although it depends what you call the tracks.

But one day, everyone will see that we are right.

Blood status will finally be recognised, and pure bloods will reign.

But until that time, I guess the ideas will just stay with us

But I don't get what's up with Snape.

Hanging out with that Evans mudblood all the time.

Sooner or later he'll learn not to fraternize with mudbloods.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he thought he was FRIENDS with that girl.

But even HE knows better than that.

I think.

He tries not to show it or let us know when he's been around her, but we know when he has.

When ever we're not there.

Our entire group knows it, but we don't say anything.

He'll learn on his own.

But she might be rubbing off on him.

He didn't want to hex that Hufflepuff girl today, I forget her name.

But he did it anyway.

Even though Lucius walked past.

But Lucius' parents know our parents, so he lets us get away with anything.

Most of us Slytherins are all in with each other's families, but the Blacks and the Malfoys especially.

And I think he likes Narcissa Black, that traitor's cousin.

Bet Sirius hates that.

At least Regulus is smart.

He's a _proper_ Black.

He hangs with the right people, behaves in the right way and does all the right things.

He'll do well at Hogwarts next year.

If his traitor brother doesn't corrupt him.

Wait, be right back something major just happened.

Oh Merlin.

The entire library smells of... I don't even know.

Half the books are on fire, although it doesn't seem to be destroying them in any way.

Haha the librarian is running around like a lunatic.

I'd think this was funny, if I didn't have a slight idea who did it.

And I saw that Evans mudblood screaming in Black's face about something, so that confirms my suspicions.

I still haven't seen Snape yet today, he better not have been spending time with her.

Oh damn, Mulciber's back, I have to hide this.

Later, **Avery.**


	7. Lily's Detention and Bianca

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Ok, I'm dedicating thing chapter to Courtney, one of my best bffls.

Chapter 7- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Severus****' Diary, 10:45am 3rd December 1971**:

I can't believe what happened.

I mean, it seemed impossible that it could ever happen.

About 15 minutes ago, in History, Lily got a detention.

Of course, it wasn't her fault.

That stupid Potter boy threw a dung bomb at me at exactly the same time Lily threw me a note across the table.

So Professor Binns thought they had both thrown it and gave them both a detention.

Lily is so mad at Potter now.

But Potter didn't look phased.

In fact, he seemed pleased that he would get to spend an hour with Lily.

The detention takes place at 6:00 tonight, so Lily will miss hanging out with her friends for an hour.

My friends were laughing at her and I pretended to laugh too but when she looked over I mouthed 'sorry' and she smiled at me.

But now Lily's ignoring Potter.

Good.

She shouldn't talk to that boy anyway.

That naughty like git.

And that Black boy is just as bad.

I guess Lupin and Pettigrew are not so bad.

Lily seems to be friends with Remus, so I guess he must be ok.

But Pettigrew just seems like a ratty little boy.

Actually, all of Gryffindor (except Lily) are gits.

We are so going to thrash them in Quidditch this year.

Oh, that's the bell. I have to go.

See you later,

**Sev****.**

************

**Savannah****'s Diary, 5:12pm 3rd December 1971:**

I can't believe James.

He got Lily a detention.

That jerk didn't even own up and say it was only him.

He let Lily get the blame too.

Now we're all mad at him.

And his little 'gang'.

But Remus is ok I guess.

But now James and Lily have to clean out cauldrons later today.

It sucks.

And having to spend an hour ALONE with James would be worse.

But Lily will deal with it.

She can deal with anything.

Even James.

That Severus boy didn't seem very happy when she got the detention though.

I saw him laughing with his friends about it, but it seemed a bit fake.

Then when he caught Lily's eye he mouthed 'sorry'.

Maybe he's ok…

But he's still so mean.

Oh.

A new girl came today.

She wasn't able to come at the beginning of school, and she only arrived yesterday.

Lily invited her into our group.

She seems nice… if not a little shy and secretive.

But it must be the whole new school, new people thing.

She'll warm up to us soon.

Her name's Bianca.

She looked over at James today and said 'Who's he?'

When we told her he was the cockiest, meanest, stupidest (is that even a word?) guy in the world she shrugged and goes 'Oh. Well he's cute.'

She even wears make up.

She acts really old for her age, but she's still ok.

She's a pure-blood, like me, but didn't get into Slytherin.

Good for her!

Not all the pure-bloods should be in that disgraceful house.

Oh, I should go say bye to Lils now.

See ya, _**Sav.**_

**_********_**

**Lily's Diary, 7:34pm 3rd December 1971:**

I am SO annoyed at James Potter.

He landed me with a detention!

ME!

He didn't even own up when Professor Binns gave us the detention, he pretended that I HAD done it!

I'm sitting down watching James clean cauldrons.

I thought I shouldn't do as much, since I didn't actually do anything wrong.

At first he tried to make conversation with me.

But I kept on ignoring him until he got the idea that I WASN'T happy.

I think he got it after about 15 minutes.

But then he really surprised me.

I mean, all of the time he's cocky and arrogant and stuff, but then he turned to me shyly and said,

'I'm sorry I didn't own up in History. I guess I just wanted to spend some time with you. I didn't expect you to be so mad at me. I know you really don't like me for picking on Sniv-Severus, and I wanted a chance to redeem myself. Sorry if I upset you.'

I stared at him, amazed that he could suck up his pride long enough to apologise.

He blushed then turned away to clean the cauldron.

'Th-that's ok.' I said back to him.

I never knew he could be like that.

I'd only seen him as Mr I'm-So-Great-At-Everything.

So then I hesitantly started a conversation with him.

Asking about Quidditch, because I knew he liked that.

But that turned out a not so good idea.

He's still talking about it.

And has been for the past 15 minutes.

And will probably still be talking about it all the way back to the common room.

Oh, there's Sev!

He's waiting for me!

Oh, now he's giving James a dirty look.

James just stares back.

He really must have meant that apology; he's not insulting or hexing Sev.

Our detention is finished now.

Wait I'll hide you for a sec James is coming over.

OMG.

He's left now, but you should've heard what he said to me.

I can't believe it.

Sev telling me to hurry up now, so I better go.

_**Lily.**_

**_********_**

**James****' Diary, 9:11pm 3rd December 1971:**

I had a detention with Lily today.

Cleaning cauldrons.

I mean, it would seem boring.

But I was really excited about it.

But she was really mad at me.

I guess I never thought of the fact that she might be mad at me.

I've had detentions so many times I guess I never thought twice, but for a good girl like Lily it must have been horrifying.

But she forgave me.

I think.

I sucked up my pride and apologised to her.

She looked surprised.

Well I guess I had been a bit of a jerk to her lately.

But I think she forgave me.

Well at least she was talking to me again.

But then I told her something.

It was just before I left, she was going to walk with that brat Snivellus.

When I told her she looked so surprised her beautiful emerald eyes looked like they were going to jump out of her head (did I just say beautiful emerald eyes?).

I nodded to her unspoken question, and then left (Snivellus glaring at me the whole time).

I mean, I can't believe it myself.

Who would've thought?

But it's true.

He's going to be so mad at me when he finds out I told her.

But it's something that had to happen.

I couldn't not tell her.

Sirius likes Kelsey.

Later, **James.**

* * *

**Please Review! This is a chapter where i start to introduce lots of later plots into the story, so if it doesnt seem interesting its because this is the set up.**


	8. CHRISTMAS!

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Ok, I'm dedicating thing chapter to Grace, aka Richie and Grego.

Chapter 8- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**James****' Diary, 7:13am 25****th**** December 1971**:

IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING!

I HAVE PRESENTS!

I've decided to write in you before I open them, so I can open them with everyone else.

I'll have a look at who they're from though.

Wow.

A big one from mum and dad.

A really oddly shaped one from Sirius, Remus and Peter.

Oh God.

It looks like ANOTHER pair of socks and undies and a vest from Aunt Penny.

Yay.

JUST what I wanted.

*cough cough*

Wait.

I have one from Lily.

It's really little; it looks like it's in a box.

Should I open it now?

Or should I wait.

I'll wait.

But… I haven't got Lily a present!

I feel so bad now.

I have to get her one.

Umm… ok… think James think…

Wait.

I have it!

The best present ever!

She's going to be blown away that I actually HAVE one.

It does help to have an Uncle in that department though..

But I know exactly what to get her.

**James.**

**Lily****'s Diary, 10:53am 25****th**** December 1971**:

I can't believe it's Christmas!

It feels weird not being home.

But I chose to stay here over Christmas.

Kelsey, Sav and Bianca are staying too.

I told Mum and Dad I wanted to stay with them this Christmas.

They won't mind.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are staying too.

But I got SO many presents!

I got the prettiest locket from Mum and Dad.

It has a picture of them on one side, and another of Tuney and me on the other.

Kelsey, Sav and Bianca all chipped in and got me a really pretty charm bracelet, and guess what?

THEY were the charms!

It had four charms, one resembling each of us.

It was so pretty.

Bianca's mum had made all the charms to look like us.

There was a mini me, with Red hair and green eyes, And two brown haired ones for Kelsey and Sav, but Kelsey with green and Sav with brown eyes, and there's even a mini Bianca with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Kelsey got an anonymous present.

It was a little heart broach, made of rubies and gold.

It was beautiful.

But she had no idea who it was from.

I did.

I knew it was from Sirius.

I never told Kelsey he liked her.

I know Sirius is relived I didn't, the day after James told me he seemed worried that I'd told her.

From Sev I got a really pretty pair of tear drop earrings.

I don't know how he got them, or afforded them, but they're beautiful

I gave him a book.

No, I'm just kidding.

Half kidding.

It's a certain KIND of book.

But you're going to have to wait to find out.

And the most surprising present of all came from James.

I didn't think he'd get me one, even though I gave him some stuff from Zonko's.

It was kind of a polite present, not a 'you're my bestest friend in the whole world' present (which he certainly is not. He's behaving better towards Sev and me after our detention though. But he's still cocky and arrogant).

But he didn't give it too me with all my other ones.

He pulled me aside after I opened all my other ones.

I really had no idea what he was going to do.

Then he pulled out a tiny box, with red wrapping and gold ribbon.

It had a little golden card on it.

He said to me 'I have to give this to you like this because no one can ever see it. It has to be a secret. Don't tell anyone you have it.'

Then he smiled (that arrogant grin I hate) and winked at me and strode off.

I looked around to see if anyone was watching, then opened the card.

It said:

_Dear Lily,_

_I'm not going to lie – this morning I didn't have a present for you._

_Then I saw you had one for me, and I thought 'Well if Lily cares enough about me to get me a present, then I should get her one too'._

_So I thought and finally came up with this one._

_It is one of the rarest things I own (or used to own now) – so I decided to give it to you because I don't have much use for it, and I would probably destroy the earth with it if I had it._

_Unintentionally, of course._

_But I know you'll be sensible and not show this to anyone._

_Or use it for pulling pranks._

_So, Merry Christmas!_

_From, James._

I was very confused by now.

I thought it might've been some type of prank.

But I opened it anyway.

And there, nestled into a little pile of tissue, was a Time-Turner.

Love, _**Lily.**_

**Severus****' Diary, 12:26pm 25****th**** December 1971**:

I'm at Hogwarts pretty much by myself.

All my friends have gone home for Christmas.

I didn't want to have to listen to Mum and Dad arguing for longer than I had to though.

But today's Christmas!

Yesterday Mum sent me one WHOLE galleon!

She'd saved it up over the year, so I could have it as pocket money at the end of this year!

I was so excited.

But then I knew exactly what to spend it on.

So I asked one of the older students if he could go to Hogsmade for me and get Lily a pair of tear-drop earrings.

I saw one of the 4th year students giving his girl-friend a pair and it seems girls like that kind of stuff.

So he came back with a really pretty pair of crystal ones.

I saw Lily wearing them at breakfast, and she told me they were beautiful and that they were one of her favourite presents.

I was so happy.

I told her I loved her present too.

At first I was surprised.

Why would Lily give me a book?

But then I opened it.

It was a scrapbook!

It had all these photos from first term in it, of us laughing or studying or doing whatever.

I'll treasure it forever.

There are more empty pages at the back, for later years.

I didn't get anything from Avery and Mulciber.

Well, not yet.

I'm sure I will soon.

I got them some of that wolfsbane stuff, so they can use it at home.

They said they really needed some for making the neighbours get measles or something.

I hope they were kidding.

I hope I didn't cause the discomfort of those innocent muggles.

But anyway, I was so happy Lily liked my present.

And I loved hers.

And I think when I was looking through it was when I realised.

I can't believe I didn't know it earlier.

But now I do.

Looking through all of those photos of us together made me realise.

I love Lily Evans.

**Severus.**

* * *

**Ok this chapter is where Snape has like an epiphany or however you spell it and realises he loves Lily. Yes, it happens fairly early, but it the love grows and changes over their years at hogwarts. **


	9. Severus' Birthday

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

This chapter is dedicated to Claire – thanks for being my friend all these years.

Chapter 9- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Severus****' Diary, 7:33am 9****th**** January 1972**:

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

I'M 12 NOW!

I FEEL SO EXCITED!

I have at least 5 presents at the end of my bed.

5!

I'm thinking this will be my best birthday yet.

From Mum and Dad I got a new cloak.

Mum had embroidered 'Severus Snape' onto the bottom in green.

It's come a bit late, we just passed winter, but I love it anyway.

Lily gave a CAMERA!

Now I'll be able to take photos for my scrapbook!

She always gets me the best presents.

All my friends got me some lollies.

Chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts Every-Flavoured-Beans, liquorish wands, everything.

When they wake up we'll have a massive feast.

But I'll hide some now so I can save them for Lily.

I know she likes chocolate frogs.

It's so great having my birthday on a Sunday.

I don't have any classes at all.

But I have homework.

Avery and Mulciber have a detention tonight so I'm doing homework with Lily.

She's so good at potions.

I think she's Professor Slughorn's favourite.

He's always giving her house points, even though she's in Gryffindor.

I wish she was in Slytherin.

Or I was in Gryffindor.

As long as I could be with her.

Wow that sounds really cheesy.

But I wish I was in the same house as her.

I heard that Potter gave her a Christmas present.

I can't believe she accepted it.

When I see her today I'll find out what it is.

I haven't had time lately to see her much.

I wish I could.

But I haven't been able to get away from my other friends that often.

Oh well.

But I'm going to wake my friends up now, so I can open my other 2 presents.

Later, **Sev.**

*** * * ***

**Lily's**** Diary, 1:18pm 9****th**** January 1972**:

It's Sev's birthday today.

My friends said it was cool if I wanted to spend the whole day with him, even though I could tell that they were wondering why I was even friends with a Slytherin.

But I only spent half the day with him, the other half he spent with his other friends.

When it came to 1:00 and he had to go back to his other friends he looked sad that he had to go.

I think he would've preferred to stay with me the whole day.

But he went to his other friends in the afternoon to open his other presents.

He tried to wake them up earlier but they wouldn't get up.

So he took some of his lollies and we had a mini feast by the lake.

It was great.

I gave him a magical camera – now he can take photos for his scrapbook.

We took heaps today, of us laughing and stuffing our faces with chocolate frogs.

There was one time where it took a picture of us being hit with a jet of water!

I have no idea where it came from.

But then he asked me about my Christmas present from James.

At first I told him I didn't get one.

But he said, 'Don't lie to me. I know he gave one to you.'

So I said 'Well, yes, but it wasn't much. Barely anything. What else did you get for your Birthday?'

But he told me not to change the subject.

In the end I lied and told him it was just some lollies.

I couldn't tell him about the time-turner.

It would mean disaster if anyone found out.

I mean, what if he made me use it for something, and it turned out wrong?

What if I end up killing my future self, or worse, Sev, or Kelsey or Sav or Bianca?

Then he mumbled 'I can't believe u accepted a present from that arrogant pig!'

I told him not to call James that, and that he was a lot nicer to him now.

His response wasn't what I expected.

He told me that Potter had been picking on him just as much as he usually did, just now he did it when I wasn't around.

I couldn't believe it!

And I had thought Potter was beginning to be nice.

So I'm going to ignore him again.

I hate it how he's so mean to Sev.

It all started that day on the train.

When he said he wanted to be in Slytherin.

Hang on…

What if I went back and changed that?

Love, _**Lily.**_

**_* * * *_**

**James****' Diary, 5:33pm 9****th**** January 1972**:

Lily's mad at me again.

She found out that I was still picking on Snivellus.

I supposed he must have told her.

I guess I should stop.

But nah.

Lily can't tell me what I can and can't do!

And I shouldn't stop just because she says so.

I wouldn't be pushed around by a girl.

It's not as if she can stop me.

I'm so much better at that kind of stuff than she is.

Actually, I'm better than her at everything!

Except maybe potions…

No, I'm still better.

Professor Slughorn favours her, that's all.

And Snivellus.

Apparently it was his birthday today.

Lily went down to the lake with him, and Sirius and I followed her under the invisibility cloak.

We wet them so badly.

You should've seen their faces!

Except instead of Lily running off screaming like we planned, she started laughing.

So that backfired.

(Of _course_ we weren't going to pick on Snivellus again when she was gone… *cough cough*)

And I hope he likes the little _something _we sent to him… he he he.

But Lily was looking weird today.

Like she was planning something.

She didn't seem to be paying attention at all to her friends.

But I know she's up to something.

And mark my words, I will find out what it is.

God that makes me sound all morbid and serious.

(Don't tell Sirius I said that – his joke is getting annoying)

But I'm going to find out what she's planning.

What if it's with the time-turner?

Well, I'll be keeping a very close eye on Lily for the next couple of weeks.

You wait and see.

**James.**

*** * * ***

**Mulciber's Diary 10****:29pm 9****th**** January 1972**:

If anyone finds this, and reads it, I swear I will personally kill you.

I'm not kidding – my dad says he'll teach me some almost deadly curses in 3rd year.

He'll teach me the deadly ones in 5th year.

But that doesn't mean I don't know how to kill you now.

I could still slit your throat, with my bright red pocket knife.

So DO NOT read this.

But it was Snape's birthday today.

He seemed to find it appropriate to wake us all up at 7:30 on a Sunday.

That's not cool – even on your birthday.

We told him to get lost and come back when we were all awake.

We didn't really mean at 1:15.

He must have been spending the morning with that Evans girl.

Oh I hate her.

Always running after Snape, and backing him up.

She can't do that.

That's for _friends_.

Does she think she's his friend?

She'll learn soon enough.

One day I'll curse her so bad she'll be in St Mungo's for a month.

Then I'll make it seem like it was all Potter's fault.

We'll educate Snape as well.

How to find _real_ friends and get rid of _unworthy _mudblood ones.

I can't believe he even talks to that mudblood.

He's probably a half-blood or something.

That's why he thinks its ok to talk to people with _muggles_ for parents.

But if he was a half-blood he wouldn't be in the group.

Only the best can be friends with me.

That mudblood, that MacDonald girl, she said 'Hi' to me the other day.

Then I pulled out my wand and she sprouted tentacles all over her face.

I can't believe she would dare talk to me – practically royal me.

But I'm going to bed now.

Later, **Mulciber.**

* * *

**Reviews Please! I really love to have my readers comment on my work - even if you dont like it.**


	10. Trapped in the Past on Lily's Birthday

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

This chapter is dedicated to Kate – Happy Birthday.

Chapter 9- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Lily****'s Diary, 8:19am 30****th**** January 1972**:

I'm 12 now!

I like how Sev's birthday is only 3 weeks in front of mine.

We get older around the same time.

But he gave me a really nice present today.

He sent it by owl – he couldn't get away from his friends.

It was a hair band with a pink and white lily on it.

I don't know how he gets this stuff, since we can't go into Hogsmade, but he got it.

And how does he know exactly the type of things I like?

It's like he can read my mind.

Or maybe we're just such good friends.

But mum and dad sent me a video of them saying things to me.

I don't think they know that electrical equipment doesn't work at Hogwarts.

They also sent me some money.

I don't think they know that wizards use different money.

But it was nice anyway.

I shared out some of the money with my friends.

They seemed amazed that muggle money looked so funny.

When I told them the money was different in every country they were even more amazed.

Well, not Kelsey so much.

She already knew a bit, seeing as her mother is a muggle.

Speaking of Kelsey, she gave me a singing potion.

I was so surprised, until she said one word.

'James.'

We laughed so hard we fell over and started rolling on the floor.

It was such a perfect comeback.

Of course, half for James and half for Sirius.

They can sing in harmony.

Tomorrow morning is going to be so fun.

Sav and Bianca gave me one of the best presents ever.

A kitten.

Well, Kelsey helped too, but her main present was the potion.

When it was their turn to give me their present, they handed me this box.

I was about to shake it and everyone yelled, all at once, 'DON'T SHAKE IT!'

By this stage I was positively confuzzled, but I opened it gently.

I was just about to take off the lid when I heard a little 'mew'.

So I opened the lid and inside was a tiny little kitten.

One of Sav's friends in Ravenclaw had a cat that had just had kitten, so they got me one.

I was so excited.

At first I didn't believe it.

Then she jumped out of the box onto my lap.

She walked around; nuzzling everyone, then came to sit on my lap again.

It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen.

But James gave me a flower today.

A lily.

When I took it it spurted water in my face.

I'm so mad at him.

But none of that matters now.

Today I want to put my plan into action.

I'm going to go back and stop James ever meeting Sev and giving them a bad first impression.

As soon as I have a moment alone, I'm going.

Thank God it's a Sunday.

Hopefully I'll have extra luck on my birthday.

Love, _**Lily.**_

**Bianca****'s Diary, 12:44pm 30****th**** January 1972**:

Today is Lily's birthday.

I gave her a kitten.

Well, me and Savannah.

This is another addition to my plan.

Hogwarts is everything I expected it to be, and more.

And lots of things I didn't expect too.

I've become best friends with Lily, Kelsey and Savannah.

They seem nice.

Also James, Sirius (that traitor Black), Remus and Peter.

Bella made it clear to include them.

I'm becoming good friends with Peter.

VERY good friends.

I don't see why I couldn't have been friends with James, or even Sirius, but Peter seems a little more shy and able to be influenced.

But James's family has been in Gryffindor for as long as people can remember, apart from a Great-Aunt in Hufflepuff or something.

And Sirius is a traitor to his family and house.

But Remus is hiding something.

I can see it.

I'm going to find it out.

And Savannah.

She's hiding something too.

Later I'm going to search around for diaries.

I mean, just the girls'.

I'll have a look for the boys' too, but I'm not expecting them to have diaries.

I wasn't supposed to have a diary, but I'm keeping it well hidden.

No one will ever find it.

Hopefully it will be different with everyone else's.

And I think Lily is up to something.

I can just tell.

I've had a lot of practise at this kind of stuff.

And James is onto her.

He knows she's planning something as well.

He's one to watch out for.

He's good at reading people.

I also think he likes her.

But also that he doesn't know he likes her.

Sirius likes Kelsey.

I know that.

Every time she walks into the room his eyes get this little spark in them and whenever she talks to him he starts smiling.

I think Kelsey likes him, but only a little.

Or she's very good at hiding stuff.

That's saying something – it takes a lot to hide something from me.

But Lily is best friends with Snape, of all people.

She sees him every opportunity.

I have to tell Avery and Mulciber to let him see her a bit more, so they become even better friends.

That will make things a lot easier.

But Snape likes Lily.

A lot.

He stares at her all the time, whenever he can see her.

Even across 2 tables at breakfast.

But Kelsey and Sav are coming back.

I'd better go.

**Bianca.**

**James' Diary, 7:08pm 30****th**** January 1972**:

Today was the weirdest day ever.

And I've been through some pretty weird things.

Like that time when – actually it doesn't matter.

All that matters is what happened today.

It all started at 12 o'clock.

Lily was sneaking down the stairs, looking around to make sure nobody was following her.

I knew she was up to something, so I quickly went and got my cloak and ran back downstairs so I could see what she was doing.

What I didn't know is that you were hiding in the folds of the cloak.

That's why you're here now.

But I'll explain that later.

Then she pulled out my (well, hers now) time-turner.

She was going to go back in time and change something.

I knew I had to do something.

At least go with her.

So I snuck up really quietly, just as she was turning it, and chucked something behind her.

She squealed and turned around, and at that moment I snuck under the chain and slipped off the cloak.

Then the whole world was spinning.

When she turned around and saw me the look on her face was almost comical.

Then we landed.

We stood there for a moment, and then Lily took the chain from around our necks and put it back on.

'What the hell are you doing?!' She shouted at me.

I rolled my eyes.

Like _she_ could talk.

'How 'bout a better question? What are _you _doing here?'

She looked shocked that I had asked.

'Well, um, I – but… I asked first!'

She shouted at me childishly.

I could tell she didn't want me here.

I think she hates me.

Or at least dislikes me.

Then I said, 'Well, I saw you sneaking downstairs so I followed you and snuck under the chain when you turned around. I wanted to make sure you weren't going to do anything stupid, or if you were, make sure I was included.'

Then I smiled at her.

'So… what ARE we doing here? Where is here? WHEN is here? And what are you doing coming here?' I asked her.

She looked embarrassed.

'Well… It looks like we're in the Gryffindor common room. Which is all wrong, we were supposed to be at Kings Cross station. And it's the 1st of September 1971. It's 10:50.'

She stopped and looked around.

'But how are we going to get to Kings Cross!?' She shouted.

'And you! We have to take you back, and you're going to walk off and never talk about it again, and I'm going to come back and… But you have to go back!'

I looked at her like she was crazy.

Me, go back, when I've just come on this adventure!

No way.

'Well, I believe you haven't answered my first question. Also, if you think I'm willingly going to go back to the 30th, you're completely wrong. So, I'm going to ask you again. What are we going to do here?'

'_I_' She said. '_I _am going to, well…'

She mumbled something inaudible.

'What was that?' I asked, my hand to my ear. 'I didn't quite catch that.'

'I'm coming back to stop you and Sev ever meeting like that and hating each other so you won't be so mean to him and you won't bully him like you always did and still do!'

I was amazed.

She said that all in one breath.

I rolled my eyes at her, again.

'Look, there's nothing you can pretty much do about that. Going back in time isn't going to help. What were you going to do to stop us meeting, anyway? Everyone can see you, so are there going to be 2 Lily's walking around on the train? What if the other Lily sees you? What if you bump into each other? Did you even think about all this before you left?'

Maybe she wasn't as responsible as I thought.

Well, maybe it's to protect her friends.

I never thought about how much she cared about that Slytherin _git_.

She definitely belongs in Gryffindor.

She's very loyal, I mean, how more loyal can you get?

Going back in time to stop them being bullied?

That's dedication.

Dedication Snivellus doesn't deserve,.

But she's brave too.

I never though of her being brave.

I mean, would you?

But she is.

I don't know many other people that would go back in time.

It's so dangerous.

Even _I_ wouldn't have done it, and that's saying something.

But then the worst thing possible happened.

She started screaming at me, 'Of course I thought about it! But how was I supposed to know they could see me! I'm muggle-born! I barely know anything about this kind of stuff! Just go back to the 30th!'

But that wasn't what I was talking about.

When she said the last sentence, the time-turner flew out of her hand and out the window.

Yes, diary, we're stuck.

Thanks very much Lily.

**James.**


	11. Do you trust me?

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

This chapter is dedicated to Amy – Ilyifw..

Chapter 11- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Lily****'s Diary, 6:55am 2****nd ****September 1971**:

I can't believe it.

I feel so stupid!

I was so mad at James for coming yesterday; I accidentally chucked the time-turner out the window.

OUT THE WINDOW!

We both ran straight to the window, and watch it get caught in a gust of wind and get blown into the lake.

THE LAKE!

We stood there in shock for about 5 minutes.

Then we turned to each other, and James, very loudly, said, 'Damn.'

I smacked him.

'This is all your fault! If you hadn't come in the first place, none of this would've happened!'

'Me!' he shouted back at me. "This is _your _fault! You should've put the bloody thing back on! Don't go blaming stuff at me when it's your fault!'

Then, I did the most embarrassing thing I could've done.

Realising what he said was true; I sat down on the couch, and began to cry.

Yes, I sat there pouring my eyes out.

James looked shocked.

Seriously, the look on his face was priceless.

All the time, I was saying, 'You're r-right! It _is _all m-my f-fault. I'm s-s-so s-s-sorry! Oh, th-this is a-all my f-fault! I-I've g-gone and t-trapped us here!'

James just stood there.

Obviously he had no experience on what to do if a girl just randomly sits down and starts crying.

Then, really awkwardly, he sits down next to me and puts an arm around my shoulder.

'Hey, it's ok.' He murmured. 'Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Even I do. But I'm sorry for shouting at you. I shouldn't have. We have to think rationally. Tomorrow we're going to go to the lake while everyone is in class and get it back. It's ok.'

What do you know?

He has a sensitive side.

But after around half and hour I stopped crying.

I wiped my eyes and stood up.

I was about to say something, when we saw the Hogwarts Express in the distance.

Was it 1:30 already?

'Ok.' I said to James. 'We need a place to sleep where know one can see us, or hear us. Somewhere no one will go. Even teachers.'

He thought for a while.

Then he said, 'Forbidden Forest.'

I gasped. 'But that's forbidden!' I shouted.

He rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, I kinda gathered that. But no one goes in there. No one would find us.'

At that I had to think for a bit.

But, in the end I had to agree with James.

So we walked out of the common room, but it was then we realised getting out of the castle would be the hard part.

But it seemed James knew a way.

We walked up to a statue of a witch with a hump, and tapped it with his wand, saying, 'Dissedem.'

The hump widened, and he climbed in. 'Follow me!' He called to me, so cautiously I crawled in behind him.

There was a long passage.

It kept on going for ages, until suddenly the wall stopped.

James cautiously stood up, lifting up a trapdoor.

He slid the panel of stone aside and motioned for me to follow him out.

I stood up and he helped me climb out.

I gasped.

We were in the bottom of a cellar, filled with all the sweets you could imagine.

James slid the panel back over and looked around.

There was not much noise, all of it coming from upstairs.

James walked towards the stairs, picking up a couple of sweets as he walks past the crates.

Then he opens the door a crack, and peers out.

There was no way we were going to get out of there unseen.

But James still looked confident.

He pulled out his cloak and said, 'Get under.'

I had no idea what he was doing but I obeyed, and he slipped under as well.

Then he pushed open the door, and motioned for me to walk next to him.

It was then I realised what this was.

An invisibility cloak.

When he got out the door, he led me towards the shrieking shack.

I stopped. 'We can't go in there!' I hissed at him 'It's haunted!'

'It's the only way.' He said. "I know where I'm going. I promise.'

I still looked uncertain.

Then he said, really quietly 'Do you trust me?'

It was such a spontaneous question I looked up, surprised.

"I would never, ever let you get hurt Lily.' He told me. "I promise'

When he looked at me like that, I knew he was telling the truth.

All that arrogance and cockiness was gone, and I actually could see he was scared.

At first I immediately thought it was going into the shrieking shack that scared him, but then I saw it was fear of rejection.

Fear that I wouldn't believe him, and say no, I didn't trust him.

If he had asked me that question any other time, I would've said no.

But seeing the look in his eyes made me whisper, 'Yes.'

He took my hand and we slipped over the gate.

We ran up to the door and slipped inside.

He took the cloak off us and ran down this passageway.

It was really dark, but after a while I could see light, and a strange windy whipping sound.

Then James told me to wait, then le levitated something, and all the whipping sounds stopped.

Then I realised where we were.

The Whomping Willow.

At this point James put the cloak back on us, and we crept out.

He led me towards the little shack where the gamekeeper lived, and we snuck past it.

We went into the forest enough that we had to walk about 5 minutes north to get to the edge.

We didn't want anyone coming along and seeing us.

But now I'm lying on James' cloak (he insisted I lay on it), writing in you, because, it turns out I had you in my pocket.

I don't know how that happened, but maybe it slipped into it somehow.

But I'm glad I could write all this in when it's all fresh.

And my whole view on James has changed.

Well not my _whole _view.

He can still be arrogant and cocky, but I can see now why he's in Gryffindor.

I have no idea why I am though.

I'm so stupid for getting us into this mess.

I was too scared to sleep any longer.

I'll lie here until James wakes up.

Love, _**Lily.**_

* * *

**I hope you like it! Please review!**


	12. Back to the Future

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

This chapter is dedicated to Lara, new bffl.

Chapter 12- 1st Year at Hogwarts

(Also, i did not come up with the name of this chapter! I thought of it and thought it was perfect for this chapter, i dont claim to own the name)

* * *

**James' Diary, 2:26pm 30****th**** January 1972**

I'm back in 1972.

The last like 24 hours seem almost like a dream.

Did that really just happen?

Even if it was a dream I'll write it down anyway.

I woke up 12 hours ago (yes, I'm not going crazy it was 12. I think), on the ground of the forbidden forest.

Lily was already awake.

She was trying to put her hair in a bun, after sleeping with it out all night.

It would suck to have long hair.

I'd get so knotty.

Well, Lily's certainly did.

But it was still beautiful (Shut up James!)

She had brushed off my cloak and folded it beside where I was sleeping.

I stood up and walked around for 5 minutes, cleaning up where we had been sleeping, so there would be no evidence.

We snuck out to the lake at around 7:30, and tried to summon it.

Except we had no idea how to summon anything so that idea failed.

He tried levitating it out, but that didn't work either.

We had a rough idea on where it was, but we didn't know exactly.

Then we realised we'd have to swim for it.

Either that or wait for 4 or 5 months for time to pass again.

We drew a little map on the ground, and made it a grid.

We'd search each square one by one until we found it.

We were hoping at hadn't landed anything further than 5 meters deep because even Lily couldn't swim that well.

Yes, I admit it; Lily is a better swimmer than I am.

Well she grew up as a muggle!

Muggles did stuff like swimming in water for fun.

Wizards watched the water fly.

So we agree on what we're going to do, and I start taking off my robes.

'What the hell are you doing?' She asks me.

'What, do you expect me to do, go swimming in my robes?' I retort back.

"Oh. Right.' She says, but doesn't move.

'Oh come on Lily! Are _you_ going to go swimming in your robes?'

She looked torn for a moment. 'Fine.' She says. Then she hesitates. 'No peeking, ok?'

I roll my eyes at her and dive into the water in my underwear.

It was freezing! I mean, it was September, and the water was only supposed to be getting colder, but it was FREEZING!

I took a deep breath and dived under, swimming around for a while underwater until I got warmer.

I surfaced, and saw Lily walking hesitantly into the water, her arms over her chest.

I dunno what she was doing because she didn't _have_ anything to hide.

Forget I said that.  
She waded into about her waist, and then did a graceful dive into the water.

She surfaced a metre or 2 away from me, shivering a bit and said 'Let's just get this over with.'

We swam over to the edge of the lake.

We dived, but found nothing.

We continued on the square for about 5 minutes we still couldn't see it.

So we moved on.

That's what happened for the next three hours.

It should've been really boring, but we were too intent on finding it.

Our entire future rested on finding this time-turner, and we weren't going to give up after only an hour.

It was then were something really happened.

I dived, just getting up to the deep 5 meter part, and just as I was going back up, I saw something.

The glint of metal.

I called Lily over, and she swam up to me.

'What is it?' She said.

'I think I saw something' I replied. 'Let's take a look.'

We took a couple of deep breaths, and then dived.

It took a couple of dives, but we saw it again.

But it was deeper than 5 meters.

Maybe 7 or 8 meters.

I pointed it out to Lily underwater.

I was really proud of myself; I was at 5 meters deep.

You could just see the bottom from where I was.

She motioned for us to surface, so I did, taking huge breaths when I reached air.

My head killed, and it seemed Lily's did too, so we just floated there for a couple of moments.

Then Lily said, 'We're going to have to dive for it.'

I actually looked scared for a moment there.

'D-dive?' I spluttered. 'I can hardly get 5 meters let alone 7!'

'I know' she said, but not in a bragging way. Like she was accepting that I couldn't and wouldn't push me. 'But I can. Just. I'm going to dive for it.'

There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I only said one of them. 'Ok.'

She took a few deep breaths, and then dived under.

I waited, but nothing happened.

I decided to dive too, so I took a deep breath and went under.

I swam really deep, 3 meters… 4 meters… 5 meters… 6 meters… It was then I saw Lily.

She was motionless in the water, just floating.

No, not even floating.

Just hovering.

I almost freaked out.

I mean, I had the right too.

There was a girl who wasn't breathing in the water in front of me.

What was I supposed to do?

But for some reason I didn't.

Then I saw the time-turner.

It was lying at her feet.

I knew I could get it, but I wouldn't be able to save Lily then.

I had a choice; get the time-turner and try and save Lily, or to save Lily.

If I chose the first one, the odds were against her living.

I mean, I'd have to get her too the shore and that would take a while.

So I chose.

I pulled Lily to the surface and lay her on her back, swimming as fast as I could while supporting her head to shore.

I pulled her up and away from the water, and lay her down on her back.

It was then I realised I didn't know what to do.

I mean, wizards didn't learn CPR as a school subject!

They were clever enough to not get drowned in the first place.

Well, not 1st years.

So I copied what I had seen on TV.

I know, it's sad, but I had once seen a program on life-saving or something?

So I copied the life-saver dude.

I pounded a couple of times on her chest, then blew twice in her mouth.

And I did it again.

And again.

Soon I was almost about to give up.

I was almost crying, and I was begging her to wake up.

She wasn't moving, and nothing I was doing was helping her.

But I tried once more.

She started coughing, water pouring out of her mouth, and I quickly turned her onto her side so she wouldn't swallow it again.

She threw up, and then started breathing like air was the most precious thing on Earth, which now I am thinking it is.

'J-james?' She coughed at me.

I was so relieved.

I felt like crying.

And what I did was just as embarrassing.

I lent over and gave her a huge hug.

'I thought you were dead.' I chocked out.

She gave a little laugh.

'Almost.' She said. Then, "James…?' She asked.

'Yeah?' I replied. By this stage I was ready to do pretty much anything she asked.

'Thanks. For saving my life.'

'You're welcome.' I told her, looking into her eyes (Wow I'm getting all soppy now).

'But… the time-turner…?' She asked.

I shook my head.

'It was lying right there, but if I had got it, you would've drowned. I wouldn't have been able to get you to shore in time.'

She looked at me with an emotion I had no idea of.

A mix between surprise, thankfulness and relief I think.

'Thank you.' She whispered. She cleared her throat, then winced.

That must've hurt. 'Let's get back to the forest before we're seen.' I said, and helped her get up.

She shook a bit of weed off her foot, and started to hobble off, before I stopped her.

That's right; the weed was actually the time-turner.

Her foot must have caught it while I was pulling her into shore.

What a way to kill 2 birds with one stone.

So now I'm back.

Lily put the time-turner in a box, and we'll deal with it tomorrow.

For now, good-bye.

I'm going to savour the air.

Who knows, I may miss it one day.

**James.**

**

* * *

**

**Reviews Please! If you have any ideas i'd love to hear them, and i do try and reply to every review!**


	13. Valentine's Day

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

And this if for Em, finally I get up to Valentines Day.

Chapter 13- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Severus****' Diary, 6:44am 14****th**** February 1972**

I've realized I have to wake up really early to write in my diary, stay up really late or wait for my friends to get a detention.

So I chose to wake up early, since I'd wake them up with a light if I tried at night, and even though they get detentions pretty often, it's not as often as that Potter boy does, so I wouldn't be able to write often either.

But it's Valentines Day today.

I've got Lily some flowers.

Or, _a_ flower to be precise.

I couldn't decide between a rose and a lily.

I decided on a lily; if I gave her a rose it might give away that I love her.

I wish I could tell her.

But she probably wouldn't talk to me again, or be embarrassed.

And why would she like a Slytherin, anyway?

Actually, after I write this, I'm going to put it at the door of the Gryffindor common room.

Well, the portrait of the Fat Lady.

Does that count as a door?

I don't know.

But anyway.

There's a Valentine's Day Ball tonight.  
I wanted to ask Lily to come with me; even 1st years could go to this one.

But my friends told me they were sneaking out of the castle that night.

I have to go with them, or they'll kick me out of their group.

We're going to go down to the lake or something.

They insist they saw something at the beginning of the year, and want to go check it out now.

I told them if the saw anything, it was probably long gone, hoping they'd forget about it and go to the Ball, but they didn't.

They wanted to go anyway.

So now I can't go.

I wonder who Lily will go with.

She's been hinting that she'd love to go to the Ball (does she have to mention it SO many times?), but now that I cant go I wonder who she'll take.

Luckily, I _know_ she won't go with Potter.

She's too smart to go with that jerk.

Maybe she'll go with Lupin.

I wish she wasn't friends with him – he's part of Potter's group, but he seems ok.

He's certainly better than Potter.

Or Black.

But Lily's been acting strange since her birthday.

And her attitude to Potter's changed.

But I have to go now.

I have to hurry if I'm going to get my lily to Lily before my friends wake up.

Until next time, **Sev.**

*** * * ***

**Lily's**** Diary, 6:12pm 14****th**** February 1972**

Today it's Valentine's Day!

Sev gave me a beautiful lily flower, my namesake.

He left it out the front of the Gryffindor common room, with a note saying,

_Dear Lily,_

_Happy Valentine's Day._

_To my best friend, ever._

_Love, Sev._

He's so sweet.

I sent him a card too.

Just saying Happy Valentines day.

I sent it via owl, so his friends wouldn't see it.

There's a Valentine's Day Ball in around 30 minutes.

I hinted to Sev for about a week before that I'd love to go, but he didn't ask me.

I don't think he got the hint.

I also got a huge bunch of roses, signed _Anonymous_.

I have a slight idea of who they're from.

Then today Sev said to me, 'Lily, I was going to ask you to the Valentine's Day Ball.'

Can you notice how wrong that sentence was?

Like, 'I _was going_ to ask you.'

That meant he wasn't going to ask me.

I thought of a dozens reasons why.

He liked another Slytherin girl more than me.

He didn't want to be my friends any more.

If it was because of his friends not letting him take me, I would've told him that I didn't care what his friends thought.

But it turns out he wasn't going to the ball at all.

He was sneaking out to the lake.

He said his friends saw something at the beginning of the year near the lake.

I think that must've been me and James.

Whoops.

I didn't tell him that, of course.

He said he was sorry, and wanted to go with me but he couldn't.

I asked, almost begged him to come to the Ball.

But he wouldn't budge.

He said he needed to go if he was going to stay in that group.

So eventually I accepted it.

But I wish I could've gone with Sev.

As friends, of course.

I had already had my outfit planned and everything.

(Well to tell the truth Sav and Bianca planned my outfit, but it looks good anyway)

I was just walked inside when I bumped into James.

He saw me looking sad, and Sev walking away, and said, 'Sniv-Severus ask you to the Ball?'

I looked at him and said, 'What would you care?'

I turned around and saw Sev had gone, so I said, 'I wanted to go with Sev. But he isn't going to the Ball. I really wanted to go, but now I can't because everyone will have a partner by now.'

(We have to keep up that pretence that I hate him while people are around, otherwise people will get suspicious and ask questions on why we re suddenly good friends.)

What he said next really surprised me.

'Well I don't have a partner. I didn't say yes to anyone who asked me. Well…' He seemed to turn a little red at this point (James _blushed????_), 'I was hoping you'd go with me. Then I thought you'd be going with Severus, so I didn't ask. Now I know you're not going, so would you like to go with me?'

I was shocked.

Not only has James just asked me to the Ball, he had _blushed!_

Of course I wanted to go to the Ball, but the question was, did I want to go with James? So I said, 'You said no to half the girls in the year?'

He laughed. 'No, but at least half the girls in Gryffindor.'

I laughed a bit too then said, 'Well, Sev wouldn't like it-'

But he cut me off.

'_Sev_ wouldn't be there, would he now? Come on say yes. I mean, it'll just be as friends. Unless you don't want it to be. Then I'd be happy to be your date.' He said the last part winking at me and flashing one of those cocky smiles I hate so much.

I rolled my eyes. 'Ok, fine. Meet me in near Fat Lady at 7:00, and don't be late.'

She smiled, again. 'Excellent. And by the way, did you like my flowers?'

I _knew _it had been him. 'I _knew_ it was you!' I shouted. Then blushing, I whispered, 'I mean, I knew it was you. And yes, they were very nice. But don't get any ideas. No more flowers. Actually, no more anything. We're supposed to hate each other.'

Then he grinned again and said, 'Ah, but we don't, do we?'

Then he put an arm over my shoulders and walked me into the common room saying, 'Now my little lily-flower, go get ready. I'll meet you here at 7.'

I shrugged his arm off and said, 'Don't call me that. I am _not_ you lily-flower.' And walked off.

As I walked up, I thought I could see James hi-fiving Sirius.

Then Remus handed him a sickle.

Was I a bet?

But it doesn't matter.

I have to get ready now.

It's my turn to use the bathroom.

Later, _**Lily.**_

**_* * * *_**

**James'**** Diary, 10:36pm 14****th**** February 1972**

Today was interesting.

It was the Valentine's Day Ball.

I had really wanted to go with Lily, but I couldn't tell anyone that.

I was amazed when she agreed to go with me.

Well, I guess she likes me a lot more after I saved her life.

But she didn't have anyone else to go with.

I saw half the girls in the year glaring at me when I told Lily to go get ready.

The looks on their faces were priceless.

But Sirius was happy.

He's taking Kelsey, and he was hyper for the whole day.

He kept on getting mad for 5 minutes at a time when we teased him, but he couldn't stop being hyper.

It was really funny.

All the boys wore tuxedos.

We were supposed to wear dress robes, but no one did.

Mum sent me my tux about a week before the dance, and one for Sirius, because his mum wouldn't let him wear one.

She said he had to be traditional.

So my mum sent him some.

I was chatting with Sirius near the fireplace when Lily and Kelsey came down, and I'm ashamed to say my jaw dropped.

Lily looked magnificent.

I don't know how a 12 year old managed to look like a supermodel, but she.

She was wearing a beautiful emerald green dress that reached about her knees.

It was a V-neck, decorated with little green beads, and she was wearing a pair of white shoes.

And her hair was half up half down, the top part of her hair was clipped up with a little green butterfly clip.

I couldn't tell whether she had make -up on or not, but I think she was wearing a bit of that black stuff that goes on your eyes…?

Mascara or something.

She might've had blush on too, but I can't tell whether it was that or if she was actually blushing.

I blinked a couple of times before Sirius nudged me, making me realize my mouth was hanging wide open.

He went over to Kelsey, who was wearing a blue dress, and offered her his arm with a huge grin on his face.

Kelsey giggled and took his arm, and they walked out of the common room.

I stared at Lily for a while, then realizing I was probably being rude, said 'I-um- you-you look beautiful, Lily.'

Then I remembered what Sirius had done, and snapped back into my normal self. 'Let go.' I said, grinning my award-winning smile (I'm serious; a girl once fell over when I smiled at her like that).

She took my arm and we walked down to the Great Hall.

We danced for about half and hour (girls giving Lily dirty looks from all over the floor).

That's when it got interesting.

It turns out Snivellus and his friends had got back early from sneaking out (don't ask how I knew they were sneaking out – I just know).

Snivellus was wearing these shabby dress robes, like the rest of his friends (but his friends weren't a shabby) and was eagerly scanning the dance floor for Lily.

Then he saw her.

It couldn't have been at a better (or worse, from other peoples point of view) time.

I was in the middle of spinning her around, and she was smiling that beautiful smile of hers (wow I'm getting very poetic) and laughing.

Then the song changed, into something slower (I don't know who it could've been slower than the song before, but it was), and she put both her arms around my neck.

We were just spinning there for a moment, and then Snivellus came along.

'What the hell are you doing with my girl?' He said, icily.

'Sev?' Lily said, and took her arms from around my neck

There was happiness as well as surprise in her voice.

'You came! Sorry James can I-' But Snivellus cut her off.

'Stay out of this Lily.' He said to her, and pushed her behind him, facing me.

'What the hell were you doing with Lily?' He demanded.

'Dancing' I replied, with just as much steel in my voice. 'Not against the law is it?'

'Just stay away from my girl, got it Potter?' He spat at me.

'Excuse me Sev! I'm _not _your girl. I am no one's girl. I can dance with who I like.' Lily pushed her way around Snivellus. 'You can't tell me who I can and can't dance with!'

'Yes, well I thought you had more sense than to dance with Potter.' He told her.

'Don't talk to her like that' I shouted at him, and threw a punch at him.

It hit him right on the chin, and he staggered backwards.

He looked at me in fury and responded so fast I didn't see the fist until it hit me in the stomach.

I doubled over, and threw another punch at him.

'Sev! James! Stop it now!' Lily was screaming, but I barely heard her.

'ENOUGH!' Dumbledore shouted.

He cast a shield charm between me and Snivellus.

It was then I saw Lily.

She was lying on the ground crying.

She must have got knocked over my Snivellus when he punched me.

Without a word, she stood u and ran crying out the door.

I ran after her, but when I grabbed her arm at the steps of the girls dorm she shook me off, saying, 'Just go away James! Leave me alone!' And sprinting upstairs.

I tried to follow, but an alarm went off and I was flung back downstairs.

So yea, that was my night.

I think Lily hates me now.

Bye, **James.**

* * *

**What do you think? Please Review guys!**


	14. You always get hurt by who you trust

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

To Kelsey – Thanks for being my friends all these years. I miss you.

Chapter 14- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**James****' Diary, 8:44am 29****th**** February 1972**

We all get a day off school today, cause it's Feb 29th.

Apparently some wizard did something awesome on that day or it's a typical wizard's day or something.

I wasn't really listening to the reason.

The important thing is that we get a day off.

But Lily still won't talk to me.

She's so mad at me for what I did to Snivellus on Valentines Day.

But he deserved it.

He can't ditch her then get mad at her for dancing with someone else when he's not here.

And he can't boss her around like that.

She can dance with whoever she likes.

Especially if it's with me.

Um, I mean, she could dance with anyone if she wanted to.

It's cool.

I'll just dance with another girl next time.

There's like half the girls in Gryffindor wishing they could go with me.

The other like half wants to go with Sirius.

Well, maybe it's only a third that want to go with us.

I don't know.

It's still a huge number of girls.

Peter finds it hilarious that we have so many girls wanting to go with us, although I can tell he wishes he was one of us.

But I think that new girl Bianca's been hanging out with him a bit…

Remus seems to disapprove, but then again he disapproves of pretty much everything we do (well, most of it's all pranks…).

I think we need Remus to make sure we don't go crazy.

I don't know what we'd do without him.

He's the only one of our group that's sensible.

And the only one of our group that Lily seems to like…

But anyway.

There's nothing so special about Lily that sets her apart from any other girl.

Well, except her smile.

And the way her eyes twinkle when she laughs.

And how she flicks her hair round her should when she's talking to her friends.

And that little shy smile she has when-

Whoa James.

What the hell has gotten into you?

Shut up.

I _don't _like Lily.

I mean Evans.

I don't like Evans.

Why am I even talking about her anyway?

Ok I'm going to stop thinking about her from NOW.

Oh damn as soon as I wrote that the only thing I could think about was Lily.

What's wrong with my brain!?

Oh, damn, Sirius is back.

I have to go.

Later, **James.**

* * * *

**Lily's**** Diary, 12:26pm 29****th**** February 1972**

I can't believe James.

He ruined my Valentines Day!

Sev came after all, and he told James to stay away from 'his girl' and I was going to tell Sev later not to talk like that, but James punched him!

It turned into a full on brawl.

Then James step forward and knocked me over.

I was crying so hard, not from shock or pain so much, but because I was so scared they'd hurt each other.

I was about to stand up and leap in between them, when Dumbledore cast a shield charm between them.

It was then when James finally looked at me, and the look on his face was absolute horror.

I ran out, with him following me, but I got up the stairs before he could catch me too tightly.

I was so upset.

Sav, Kelsey and Bianca came in about 5 minutes later.

They said that James was still waiting at the bottom of the stairs in case I came down again.

But I didn't go back down.

He deserved to suffer.

He hurt Sev!

Then again, Sev hurt him too, but Potter started it.

He always starts everything.

He even sent me an owl, saying sorry, but I sent it back without even reading it.

Then he sent it again, and I sent it back.

He even sent it _again_, but this time I burnt the letter in the fire.

He came down and I went upstairs but I know he saw the envelope burning up.

I don't know why I ever trust him.

It just ends up hurting me more.

You always get hurt worse from the people you trust the most.

But I know there'll always be a part of me that trusts him.

Saving my life is something I can't forget, so I owe him one.

I just hope he doesn't claim his debt.

I don't WANT to owe him.

But I have to.

It's the way things like that work.

But today's some sort of free day.

No school.

It's great, because we just get to hang out all day.

My friends are down at the lake, but I didn't want to go down there.

Another reminder of my debt to James.

But they're coming back now.

I should go.

Ilyifw, **_Lily._**

* * * *

**Sirius'**** Diary, 9:12pm 29****th**** February 1972**

I can't forget that night at the Ball.

I actually managed to ask Kelsey.

I don't know how.

Usually I'm a natural around girls, but Kelsey was different.

My palms went all sweaty and I thought I was going to stutter.

But then I pulled myself together and asked her.

I was cool about it.

I wasn't like some guys who looked down the entire time and mumbled (even though that's what I felt like doing), I walked up to her in the middle of her conversation with Savannah and went, 'Hey, Kelsey, I'll meet you down here at 7 tonight, ok? I'll see you then.'

Then I winked at her and walked off.

I saw out of the corner of my eye her giggling with Savannah.

Score!

Apparently, Kelsey was given dirty looks from all over the room by the other girls who had asked me… about 1/3 of the year.

James and I went down to the fireplace at 6:55, mainly because we were ready in time, but also so we wouldn't be late.

Then she walked down.

She was wearing a sky blue dress, that went down to just higher then her knees, and she was wearing a sort of ribbon around her waist that was a dark blue.

She was wearing white flats, and around her neck were pearls.

Her hair was kept out of her eyes with a pale blue hair band, with a flower on the side.

In all, she was beautiful.

She glanced up at me shyly, and then giggled at Lily a bit.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs I realized I should probably do something now, instead of just staring at Kelsey, so I was about to walk over to her when I saw James' face.

He was staring, open mouthed, at Lily.

So I nudged him, then walked over to Kelsey with one of my million-dollar smiles, and offered her my arm (I'm such a gentleman, he he. Wait. 'I' and 'gentleman' don't really belong in the same sentence…).

Well I walked her down to the Great Hall, and we danced for a while.

I have no idea how long, time seemed to stand still.

Then Kelsey went and sat down, and I got us some pumpkin juice.

When I came back there was a full on war going on.

James and Snivellus were throwing punches at each other (why the hell didn't they use wands?), obviously over Lily, who was sitting on the ground crying.

I tried to fight my may through the crowd to get James off him (even _I_ know when not to fight) when Dumbledore stopped them first.

Lily ran off, and James followed her, but Snivellus was blocked by the shield charm.

I ran after James, and when I got to the common room, he was standing at the bottom of the stairs to the girl's dorm, crying out Lily's name.

I told him to leave it, and that she obviously wasn't going to come down, but he just told me to go away.

He was there until around 11; just sitting there hoping Lily would come down.

Needless to say, she didn't.

But I have to go now.

It's time for lights out.

See ya, **Sirius.**

* * *

**Review Please! By the way, what are your favourite colours...?**


	15. Remus' Birthday

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm really happy that people like my first story!

Chapter 15- 1st Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Remus****' Diary, 6:55am 10****th**** March 1972**

It's my birthday today!

I love it when my birthday isn't near the full moon.

I feel really well now.

The full moon isn't till the 29th, so I'm cool for another 2 and a half weeks.

I'm just going to have a look at my presents.

Oh.

I don't have any.

I really thought I would.

Even last year–

Wait.

There's a note on my bed.

I don't why I didn't notice it before.

Oh, wow.

It's a clue.

They've made me a treasure hunt!

Should I bring you with me?

Or leave you here?

Hmmm.

I'll bring you along.

Just so I'll have a record of what I did today.

Maybe in 100 years someone will find this and I'll be famous.

But oh well.

Ok, it says something about the Hall of Greatness.

Easy.

Great Hall.

I'm not going to bother about writing all the clues though.

That would take to long.

*Five minutes later*

Oh no.

The next clue is in a bathroom.

A girl's bathroom.

More specifically, a girl's bathroom with a dead girl in it.

Yes, that's right, Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

*Five minutes*

Phew, that's over and done with.

When I walked in, she was floating around, moaning like she always does.

'Um, hi Myrtle.' I said, and waved a little at her, awkwardly.

'Oh, so what are you doing in here? You're a _boy_. This is a _girl's_ bathroom. _My _bathroom. They even call it after me. _Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom._ They call it…'

She trailed on for about five minutes about that, but eventually I said, 'Well, sorry to bother you Myrtle, but I'm on a treasure hunt for a clue. Do you know where it is?'

She giggled. 'Oh, do you mean the piece of paper that James gave me early this morning? He asked me to blow it up to the top of this ledge. Shall I get it down for you?'

I almost rolled my eyes.

Of course I wanted her to.

But I had to act happy, otherwise Myrtle would go off moaning and I'd never get it.

'That would be great Myrtle, thanks.' I said to her.

She flew up and blew the note down (ghosts can't touch anything, by they can make slight winds when they walk through stuff).

'Thanks Myrtle. Bye' I said to her, trying to leave as fast as possible, but she wanted to say something else.

'Remus, if you see James, tell him that if he dies, he's welcome to share my toilet.' She blushed a little at the end, her cheeks growing darker silver, and flew off into a cubicle.

I rolled my eyes.

Myrtle seemed to like James.

She had competition though.

About a third of the girls in the year like him too.

I'm not very happy about that, not because I'm jealous (I don't like anyone) but the fact that he's probably going to make most of them very upset in later years.

But the next clue says to go to the clock.

This thing is making me go round the whole school.

*Five minutes later*

Well, I'm here and I can't see the clue.

Wait.

Damn, its way up there.

Ok, I got it down.

This next clue says… what!

The girl's dorm?

How'd they get a clue in there?

Oh well.

This stupid treasure hunt is making me walk round the whole school.

*Five minutes later*

Ok I'm at the bottom of the stairs.

What do I do now?

Oh, ouch.

I just tried to go up, but I got flung back down and an alarm went off.

Savannah came down, trying hard not to laugh.

'Oh hi Remus. What were you doing trying to get into the girls dorm? Looking for *she gets a piece of paper out of her dressing gown* _this_ maybe?'

I frowned.

I could tell something was up.

'Yes, please Savannah. Could you bring it down for me? I'm kinda not allowed up there…'

She giggled again and Kelsey, Bianca and Lily came down to stand next to her.

'Well, maybe…' Kelsey said

'But…?' I prompted.

'You have to tell us how awesome we are, and how beautiful we are - and how much you love us all.' Lily said the first bit, and Bianca finished it off.

Damn it all to Hell.

I'd _known_ something was up.

James is going to pay.

'You're all radiant beams of sunshine.' I told them. 'Can I have it now?'

Kelsey laughed. 'You'll have to do better then _that._' She told me. 'Keep going.'

Oh God.

Sirius is seriously going to _pay_.

'Ummm… you're all so awesome and beautiful that the stars should make you their queens. Better?' I asked, really getting annoyed now. Complimenting girls isn't one of my strong points.

Bianca thought for a moment. 'Hmmm…' she said. Then she shook her head. 'Try again.'

I was so annoyed by now I literally shouted, 'You're all the most beautiful people on Earth and I love you all! Happy?'

Then I heard snickers from behind me, where some of the Gryffindors had gathered.

Oh, James and Sirius are REALLY REALLY REALLY going to pay.

Savannah grinned. 'Yep, that'll do. Here you go.' She chucked me down a crumpled up piece of paper that had 2 words on it.

_Boys Dorm._

I was going to kill James and Sirius and even Peter when I got up there.

I'm going to put you away now though, so they don't see you.

Bye for now, **Remus.**

*** * * * **

**James'**** Diary, 8:48am 10****th**** March 1972**

Today was awesome.

We were hiding downstairs with my invisibility cloak when Remus came in and was _complimenting_ the girls.

It was the funniest thing I had ever seen.

It was even worth what Remus did to us.

It's too horrible to mention.

But I will anyway.

He didn't let us share his lollies.

I know diary (I MEAN JOURNAL!), he went there.

No lollies.

Then he found our hidden stashes and confiscated them all.

I know.

That was just plain mean.

And it looks like he has another plan

But anyway.

Our present was the best.

_**Curses and Counter-curses - (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying, and Much, Much More)**_

_It's a book all about curses and stuff; we figured it was time for him to stop playing the goody-goody and learn how to curse Snivellus._

He took one look at the book, and threw it open.

For a moment we were so happy he liked it (we had thought he wouldn't) but then he pulled out his wand.

Realizing what he was going to do, we all scattered.

I don't think he got any of us, but when I came back, Peter was looking pretty shaken.

Then he cast a temporary – hair loss spell on the girls, which made them all run back upstairs shrieking.

It was hilarious.

Lily was mad at me later, but when I told her it was Remus, she paused.

Then burst out laughing. 'Oh that makes sense! This morning was so funny. And I never thought I'd say this but thanks.'

I smiled, but then she had her serious face out again and said, 'Potter' then walked off.

*sigh*

I guess she still doesn't like me.

Oh well.

It doesn't matter.

It's not as if I _like_ her or something.

But Remus also got new spell checking quill from Lily.

His parents sent him a galleon or two, and a new coat.

I can't believe my birthday is coming up so soon!

I turn 12 on the 27th!

I can't wait.

Well I have to go now.

Later, **James.**

* * *

**Hope you like it everyone! Please Review! The more reviews i get the faster i write!**


	16. James' Birthday and a broom cupboard

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Sorry for taking so long to update – I've had writers block! Any ideas would be great!**

Chapter 16- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**James****' Diary, 7:12am 27****th**** March 1972**

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exclamation Mark.

I'm 12 today.

Now everyone in our group is 12, except Peter.

His birthday is in June.

But I got heaps of presents.

Mum and Dad sent me a remembral.

Yay.

It's not like I _forget_ to do everything *coughhomeworkcough*

I just don't want to.

It's just boring.

I'll get Remus to do it for me or something.

Not that he'll _actually_ do it for me.

Once he did.

I was so ecstatic, but it turned out that he had only copied it from his magically, and it was charmed to vanish as soon as I tried to give it to the teacher.

I've never asked him again.

Speaking of Remus, he does seem a bit ill at the moment.

He says he's leaving tomorrow to visit his grandmother again though.

I told him he should probably get checked out as well, he didn't look so good, but he immediately went pale and said, 'Oh but I feel perfectly fine!' and changed the subject pretty quickly.

I wonder what's up.

But maybe I'll get Peter to do my homework.

He'd be too scared to refuse.

But then again I'd probably fail.

He's not to bright…

But now I'm just being mean.

Change of subject.

Sirius gave me THE best present today.

He said that he ordered his house elf to get it for him from his place.

He said they'd never miss it.

But it was a two-way mirror.

He said he would use it for when we were in separate detentions.

But then I had a massive brainwave.

What if I snuck it into Lily's bag, and turned it on when she got upstairs?

We'd be able to listen to all their conversations, and she'd never know!

I'd be able to find out why she hated me so much, and maybe Sirius could find out a bit about Kelsey…

I'd have to make sure she didn't find out though.

If she did she would probably curse me so badly I'd be in St Mungo's for a month.

I told Sirius my idea after the rest of my presents (A broom stick action figure, a new book on the medieval times and, best of all, a letter from Lily! I'd better expand on that I think.)

Ok, so about Lily's letter.

This is what it said:

_James,_

_I can't help but think I've been a bit unfair to you these past weeks._

_I mean, it's hardly your fault that something like that happened._

_You just have to learn to NOT beat people up when they do something wrong._

_But I really want a chance to say sorry in person._

_Can you meet me up in your dorm, alone, at 4 this afternoon?_

_I'd offer mine, but you're not allowed up there…_

_Please come._

_Lily_

Wow.

Lily wants to meet me, alone, in my dorm.

She actually wants to talk to me!

Maybe she doesn't hate me!

Of course I'm going to come.

I wrote a quick note saying that of course I'd meet her, and gave to it Sirius' owl; Hermes, my own owl, was already delivering a letter to Mum and Dad.

I told him to send it straight to Lily, but surprisingly he flew off in the other direction.

She must be already at breakfast.

I should go now too, my friends are probably wondering where I am.

Until later,

**James.**

*** * * * **

**Lily's**** Diary, 2:12pm 27****th**** March 1972**

Ok, I know I shouldn't be writing in History.

But it's so boring!

Professor Binns just rambles on and on and on and on and on and on and – ok you get the idea.

But it's Potters birthday today.

He was telling everybody about it at breakfast this morning.

When I was getting up he said, 'See you this afternoon Lily' and winked at me.

I wonder what he meant.

I see him every afternoon.

But oh well.

He's probably just showing off again.

I heard this shout from Sev as I walked out though, and I know Potter was behind it.

I don't know what he did, but when I find out, he will pay.

Oh and I got a letter at breakfast.

Just before Potter came down.

It was from Kelsey.

I had no idea why she'd send me a letter when she could tell me in person, but she motioned for me to open it.

It said,

_Lils,_

_Sorry about the letter, Barnaby needed a bit of a fly._

_I also couldn't risk the boys seeing this._

_We need to pay them back for what they did to you._

_I can tell you're still really upset at __James __Potter, even though it was over a month ago._

_Don't deny it, we know you better than that._

_But this afternoon, at 4, we're going to sneak into their dorm and put booby traps EVERYWHERE._

_We can make sure Remus doesn't get involved though, if that what you want, but we think it would be better to punish them all._

_That way __James __Potter would know that if he ever did something wrong, his friends would pay too._

_If he's a proper Gryffindor, you know like noble and loyal and stuff, he shouldn't want them to get hurt._

_Although it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't care._

_But meet us in the boys dorm at 4 (don't worry – they're out, we checked)_

_Love, Kelsey, Sav and Bee._

I looked over at them, and they winked at me.

I gave a faint smile and a slight nod, nothing to give it away, and continued eating breakfast.

This afternoon is going to be so much fun.

Love, _**Lily**_

**_* * * *_**

**Bianca's**** Diary, 4:25pm 27****th**** March 1972**

Hehehe.

I'm sitting down in the common room, listening to Lily and James shouting to be let out.

Ok, so both our groups were getting annoyed at the fact they had been fighting so long, so took action (he he that makes it sound like we're in some action book or something. Or as Kelsey would say, MOVIE. That is like a moving picture that muggles have that tell a story. Muggles are so stupid to need stuff that that for entertainment though. But I'd never tell any of the girls that. They're all 'muggle lovers')

We lured them both into that dorm and kicked them into the broom cupboard in there, and then locked the door.

So now they're trapped in there until they're friends again.

Hopefully, though, Lily will hate him even more.

Maybe he'll try to make a move on her and she'll like slap him.

That would make things easier for me…

And, to make it easier, maybe she'd hate the rest of her friends too.

And then, maybe they'd all hate each other for making Lily feel so bad.

But I doubt that's going to happen.

Bella made it clear it was NEVER going to be that easy.

It's James birthday though.

I'm pretty sure we gave him the best present – being trapped in a meter squared area with Lily.

Oh, they've stopped shouting now.

I think they've realized we're not going to let them out.

I'll write down the conversation for a bit so maybe I can look through it after for info.

Kelsey:_ Poor James._

Peter:_ Why poor James? I bet James would love to be stuck in there with Lily. It would probably be the best birthday present he's ever gotten._

Sirius:_ *mutters* I'd love…be stuck … Kelsey._

Kelsey_: What was that? I didn't catch it._

Sirius:_ Nothing, nothing._

Kelsey:_ What I mean is that Lily is probably going to explode at him. How long are we going to keep them in there anyway?_

Remus:_ As long as it takes._

Sav:_ How long are we going to be sitting here for?_

Remus:_ As long as they're in there for._

Sav:_ Oh Merlin. We'll be stuck out here for HOURS._

Peter:_ Hours?_

Sav:_ Well Lily isn't going to forgive him just like that. She's too proud for that._

Me:_ Yea, well maybe she'll realize that she was wrong and forgive him!_

Peter:_ Really?_

Me:_ Nope. Not a chance._

Kelsey: _Is there any way we could see what was going on!? Or at least HEAR it!?_

Sirius: _Actually, Kelsey, there is. I was thinking in advance for once. I snuck a two-way mirror into there this morning and *pulls out a mirror* I have the other one here._

Kelsey: _Oh wow! Aren't those really rare!?_

Sirius: _Yea, but my mother won't even know it's gone._

*He STOLE it!? How dare he! I better not bring it up though. Might blow everything*

Me: _Wow nice. Well, hurry up, turn it on!_

Remus: _Everyone quiet! If they heard us it could ruin the whole thing._

Kelsey: _Everyone giggle as much as you can now to get it over with._

*Everyone giggles heaps. If you ask me, that's really weird, but I went along with it anyway.*

Sirius: _Ok, I'm going to turn it on. Everyone quiet._

Then he said, really clearly 'James Potter' into the mirror, and it misted over. It was replaced with a dark room, almost black, and a slight view of James and Lily's head.

Lily: _No! Just stop talking to me Potter! I'm trying to get out of here!_

James: _Lily, please! I'm sorry!_

Lily: _Don't call me Lily! Only my friends call me that, and you are certainly NOT my friend!_

James:_ Well, Lils then. But please, just listen to what I'm saying!_

Lily: _No! You've already been trying to tell me for the past month, and did I listen, no! What makes you think I'm going to listen now!?_

James: _Well, number one because we're stuck in a broom cupboard together and our friends won't let us out until you forgive me. That's one. And because I _AM_ really really sorry!_

Lily: _Well, if you'd shut up, I'd get us out of here! Oh, damn, what's that unlocking spell…? I was_ sure_ I knew it…_

James: *grabbing her arm and turning her to face him* _But what if I _like _being in here with you?_

Lily: _Well the interest is certainly _not _returned. *Tugging her arm away from him and turning back* Just leave me alone!_

James:_ I know the spell you know._

Lily: _Well why the hell aren't you using it!?_

James: _Because I want the chance to show you I really _am _sorry! What do I have to do to show you that! I'd kiss you if you wanted me too!_

*All the girls go 'Awwww!' and the boys clamp hands over their mouths*

Lily: _No way- what was that?_

James: _Yea I heard it too. Wait a minute… *He glances towards the mirror*_

Sirius quickly goes 'Off!' and slams the mirror face down on the table.

Sirius: _Well, that was interesting._

Kelsey: _James can be really sweet sometimes! I never would've thought…_

Me: _Well – wait! Shut up everyone! *Everyone goes quiet. You hear the sound of Lily storming down the stairs, and James running after her.*_

Remus: _Scatter!_

I have to go now, quickly!

Later, _**Bee.**_

**_* * * * _**

**James'**** Diary, 8:55pm 27****th**** March 1972**

Well, today was kind of a failure.

It turns out Lily's note was a hoax, and we were trapped in the broom cupboard for about 45 minutes until Lily finally remembered the charm to unlock stuff.

I was kind of upset; I wish we could've stayed there longer.

She still hasn't forgiven me.

But at the very end, just as she unlocked the door, I grabbed her and said, 'Lily, _please!_' Using a look a never even knew I had. She seemed to look bad for a moment, then ran out.

I chased after her, and when I got downstairs she was chasing after her friends who had just seemed to run out the portrait.

I slowed down, and sat in one of the chairs.

Lily's so different to all the other girls.

At that moment, Nearly Headless Nick walked (drifted…?) in.

'Why so glum, young fellow!?' He cried at me. 'Girl trouble is it?' He said with a knowing look.

'No.' I said matter of factly, and marched back upstairs.

I was not going to have a conversation with a ghost about girls.

But during some point when we were in the cupboard, Sirius must have turned it on.

I don't know how much they heard, but I'm assuming they heard the bit about me kissing Lily if she wanted me to.

That's when we heard them, and I realized the mirror was in there.

I saw a quick glimpse of Sirius and him saying 'O-' then it went back to normal.

Lily got really mad at me then, saying it was my entire fault.

That was when she remembered the charm, and opened the door.

What will it take to make Lily like me again!

It's almost as if… no it couldn't….

It's almost as if I have to be _nice _to Snivellus.

But I'm going to buy flowers for her tomorrow.

Well, order them.

I'll send them straight to her dorm in the morning, in case she gets embarrassed in the Great Hall.

I wonder what her favorite flowers are…

Oh, but I have to go now.

Until later, **James.**

* * *

**Ok, Reviews Please! I promise to reply to every single review!**


	17. An unexpected Easter surprise

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Sorry for taking so long! I wrote a chapter and then remembered iI had completely missed out Easter! So I had to go back and write this one, and move the other one back! Oh well. Enjoy!**

Chapter 17- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Kelsey****'s Diary, 10:43am 5****th**** April 1972**

It's EASTER!

I'm at home now; we went home for the Easter holidays.

I can't believe we have so much homework!

The final exams are AGES away!

But oh well.

Tomorrow there is an Easter party at Bianca's place.

She invited all the year – even _Slytherins_.

I'm pretty sure she did that just for Lily though.

So that Snape boy could come.

He seems ok though.

Apparently she's really rich, and lives in a mansion and stuff.

She said her parents are quite strict, so we should some in formal dress, and not robes, as they live just on the outskirts of a muggle village.

I'm going to wear the dress I wore to the Valentine's Day Ball.

I hope Lily won't mind – even though that day was a complete disaster for her.

Bianca said her mother went to Beauxbatons, an academy in France I think.

Her father went to Durmstrang.

At first I was a bit wary of that; Durmstrang is supposed to be associated with the Dark Arts, but then she said her parents had met when they were working for the Ministry as Aurors, so that's ok.

Lily was a bit mad at us for locking her in that closet with James.

She got over it after a while though; she knew we were doing it to try and help her.

Even though it didn't work.

How were we supposed to know she actually _listens _during Charms!?

Although I should probably get her to teach me that opening spell some time…

Might come up in our finals.

But anyway.

I had an Easter egg hunt today!

Brooke and I were searching all over the garden for little eggs.

Mum placed birds all over, heaps of them really low down so I couldn't see them but Brooke could.

Brooke got really sad when we take away the birds chocolate eggs, but we told her they weren't _real _babies.

The birds would just disappear the next day after laying a few eggs.

I left some really easy ones for her too – she'd probably start crying if I got more than her.

6 year olds are so annoying.

But then we saw something _really_ cool.

Well, technically Brooke saw it, but that doesn't make a difference.

It was a chocolate bunny.

We chased it for ages; but it could hop heaps faster then we could run.

Soon the charm wore off though, and we were able to eat it.

It was so good.

I wonder what muggles do for Easter.

I saw some muggle children looking around at a nearby park.

It seems they were looking for these little eggs made of this foil stuff.

Why would they do that?

You can't eat them.

But then I saw a child _take off _the foil, and inside was chocolate.

The foil must have been like keeping it safe or something.

Muggles are rather ingenious sometimes.

I got an owl from Lily, Sav and Bee today.

Lily sent another one of those eggs wrapped in foil.

She must have that strange tradition too.

Bee sent me a bird, and it was huge!

It was about the size of Barnaby!

It sat down for a while (Barnaby was glaring at it the whole time), then laid an egg about half the size of it!

I wasn't sure whether I was able to eat all of that chocolate!

But I picked it up – and it was _hollow_.

I ate some of the top, and inside was a necklace made of silver.

There was a ring threaded on the chain and it said '_Kelsey_' is fancy writing.

There were little sapphires in it too, about five about the size about 3mm in diameter all around the outside of the ring, ending at either side of my name.

It was beautiful.

I don't know how she afforded it.

She probably had a house elf transfigure it or something.

Sav sent me another bird, but not like Bee's.

I sent them all I picture of us four together, jut before the Valentine's Day Ball.

I hope Lily wont mind.

I thought since _everyone_ was going to send each other chocolate, I'd send them something different.

But I'm going to wear my necklace tonight – it'll go perfectly with my dress.

I have to go now, toodles!

Kelsey.

* * * *

**James'**** Diary, 12:55pm 5****th**** April 1972**

Merlin, I feel so sick from eating all that chocolate.

I swear I had like 10 eggs today.

And 10 is a lot.

Apparently, to muggles 10 is barely any.

They have these really unfilling ones that are covered in _foil._

And apparently, they're made in these things called _factories_ that are like big buildings that are made to make things.

So these eggs aren't laid by Easter Birds.

Weird.

But I should be getting ready for Bianca's party now.

It starts in like 35 minutes.

But oh well.

I don't even need to do my hair.

For one, all the girls love it messy.

It gives me a kinda 'to cool for school' look.

Well, all the girls except Lily.

She always rolls her eyes when I run a hand through it.

But why am I even talking about Lil- Evans?

She's not important.

Much.

Well, maybe just a little bit.

Or a lot.

Ok, she's very important.

To me at least.

I don't know why I'm so interested.

She's the only girl who doesn't like me.

She doesn't notice me for my attention seeking, only when I'm nice to people.

Maybe that's why.

But it doesn't matter.

Maybe I'll corner her at Bianca's house and ask why she hates me so much.

Apart from playing pranks on that git Snivellus.

She could do so much better than him.

He isn't even worthy to lick her shoes let alone be her friend.

He's scrawny, ugly and worst of all a SLYTHERIN.

And I'm, well, _me._

How could she like him and not me?

Sometimes I really don't understand girls.

Why can't they just tell you exactly what they're thinking?

Like 'James, I hate you so much because (insert reason here)'

Instead she just doesn't talk to me and expects me to know why.

Maybe I'll talk to one of her friends about it.

Bianca seems to like me.

I'll talk to her at her party.

Maybe if I give Lily a 'sorry' present at the party, like flowers or something I dunno.

What do girls like?

Oh, but I have to get ready.

I've given myself 10 minutes to get ready, and I don't know how I'm going to find anything in this mess.

Later, **James.**

*** * * ***

**Lily's Diar****y, 3:38pm 5****th**** April 1972**

I'm currently hiding in Bee's bathrooms.

From James – who else?

He's practically stalking me around Bee's house.

He showed up today with his little 'cronies' Sirius and Peter, and Remus was there with them.

He was wearing jeans and this crumpled button-up shirt, and Sirius was wearing pretty similar stuff.

Peter was wearing… shorts.

Luckily they weren't really short – they went down to about his shins.

Bee's house is huge, and really old.

There are all these family heirlooms everywhere.

I saw this goblet with a snake on it and I asked Bee what it was.

It actually looked pretty cool.

But she goes, 'Oh, that's nothing I don't even know why we have it. Let's go look at these old tapestries!'

Weird.

Oh well.

And Bee gave me this _gorgeous _necklace today.

It was a silver ring on a silver chain, and in really fancy writing it said '_Lily_' on it.

It's so pretty.

It also has little emeralds on the ring too.

I love it.

I'm wearing it right now actually.

Sav had one with these little yellow stones in, Bee said they were Lemon Yellow Citrines (whatever they are), and Bee had one with amethysts.

They're like friendship necklaces!

When I was talking to Bee, Kelsey and Sav, James walked up to me with this huge bunch of lilies (I guess people think they're my favorite flowers because it's my name. No one ever thinks they'd be Tulips) and goes (in this really loud formal voice)

'Miss Lily Evan, I would like to apologize for my childish behavior at the beginning of the school year. It was idiotic and reckless. Please accept this humble gift of flowers and my sincere apologies.'

I just stared at him.

He had his trademark grin on his face, all cocky and arrogant and meaningless.

Then as I paused, it faltered a bit and I saw in his eyes a bit of worry and even pleading.

Maybe he did care, even just a _little_ bit.

I saw people from all over the room staring at the exchange going on and, realizing that it required an answer said,

'Well, Pot- James, I will consider it. Thank you for the flowers.' Then I smiled and turned back to my friends.

In a mirror in front of me I saw Sirius hi-fiving James, but James still looked a bit worried.

Then he started following me around.

I think he wanted to talk to me about it, but I didn't want to talk to him.

That's why I'm hiding in here.

But I haven't seen Sev yet.

Maybe he decided not to come.

In fact, I haven't seen any Slytherins.

I suppose they would consider it bad to socialize with Gryffindors.

But oh well, I should go now.

I need a drink – I'm feeling a bit faint.

Love, _**Lily**_

**_* * * *_**

**James' Diar****y, 8:11pm 5****th**** April 1972**

This is one of the worst Easter's ever.

And one of the best.

Ok, I'll start from the beginning since you probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

Although you are a dia-journal so you probably won't care anyway.

Ok, so we were at the party at Bianca's (she asked me to call her Bee so I will from now on) place and I saw Lily walk out of the bathroom.

'Are you ok? You were in there for a pretty long time.' I asked her.

'I was in there _hiding _from_ you_.' Is what she retorted. 'Why the hell do you keep following me around? You gave me the flowers and the apology already, what else do you want?'

She tried to walk around me, but for some reason she was clutching the wall, as if to keep her balance.

'Lily, I just wanted to ask you-' I tried to say.

That was when everything went horribly wrong.

She suddenly collapsed, falling into my arms which automatically came out to catch her.

I stumbled backwards in shock, wondering what the hell was going on.

'Oi, James!' I heard a voice yell.

It was Savannah, with Kelsey and Bee behind her.

'What are you doing with Lily!?' She yelled, in kind of a teasing manner.

Then she law Lily, motionless in my arms and her expression changed.

'What…?' She murmured and walked over faster.

Kelsey and Bee saw too and quickly followed her.

'I don't know what happened! One moment she was telling me to get lost like she always is and the next she just collapses!'

I picked her up and lay her on the couch near the lounge room.

We could still hear the music and laughter from the Ball Room (they have a _Ball Room?_)

That was when I saw her face.

'I'm sure she'll be fine.' Bee was saying. 'She's probably just over tired. Let's give her some time to rest.'

But I barely heard it.

Her face was ghost white, her breathing was shallow and the rest of her body was slowly turning white to match her face.

The veins in her eyelids were slowly getting paler and paler, and I would bet my life on the fact her heartbeat had slowed too 50 beats per minute.

In about 5 minutes it would be 40.

I turned around.

'Lily has to get to St Mungo's _NOW!_' I all but shouted at Kelsey.

They all looked at me confused.

'Lily will be _fine _James' Kelsey told me. 'She's just overtired. She'll be good in about an hour. Just let her have some space.'

'Lily will be _dead_ in an hour! We have to take her _now!_ Do your parents have a car?' This did not get the required response.

'Um, James, we all know how much you're obsessed with Lily but you don't have to pretend she's _dying_. Let's go back to the party.' Savannah said.

They turned to leave, but I grabbed Kelsey's arm.

'No! I've seen this before; one of my Great-Aunts had it when I was about 5! They thought it was just overtiredness too, but she was dead in half an hour! We have to hurry!' I tried to explain to them, but they just turned.

'Wow James, you're a pretty good actor. Let's go back to the party girls.' Said Bee.

I watched in shock as they walked out.

How could they think I was kidding about this!?

But there was no time to be in shock.

I had to save Lily.

I picked her up bridal style (What! It was the easiest way to run with her!) and all but sprinted out the door.

It was one of the most frightening days of my life.

I managed to pull out my wand and find north; my parents had told me always to head west to St Mungo's.

By the looks of it St Mungo's was about 45 minutes away.

I didn't care though; I had to get her there in less than half an hour.

I sprinted through the muggle town (The muggles looking at as weirdly), and I managed to get all the way through town before the pain in my abdomen was too painful and I needed to stop.

I was almost crying by this stage – we were still 15 minutes away and it looked like Lily only had 5 more minutes left.

That was when I noticed the hellebore.

I remembered Professor Sprout saying something in Herbology once.

I only remember it because Sirius and I had to pay attention because a major prank was about to be pulled and we wanted to make sure she noticed it _wasn't _us.

Even though it was.

But that's not the point.

What she said was 'And while we're talking about it, this is Hellebore. Unmixed with other ingredients, it can place someone in a coma to slow the spread of a fast moving illness or poison. It is also used in a Draught of Peace, but you won't be learning about it properly until your fifth year…'

Almost without thinking, I grabbed the small flower and crushed it between my fingers.

I had no idea what part to use – I'd just use all of it.

If one part was poisonous, too bad.

One part would save her, and she was going to St Mungo's anyway.

Once it was soft enough that she wouldn't choke one it, I put it at the back of her throat and watched as she swallowed it subconsciously.

Her breathing, which was before growing softer and softer by the minute, stayed even.

I was so relieved I almost forgot I still had to take her to St Mungo's.

I raced in the front door and pushed through the line, not caring about the horrified glares and rude sentences that were given to me.

'I'm sorry sir, but you have to wait-' the lady at the desk started to tell me, but I cut in.

'She's dying! She needs to see a specialist _now!_' I panted.

The lady looked down at the unconscious girl in my arms, then gave me a note and sent me up to the second floor.

I ran straight into the room on the note, and then put Lily on a table in the middle of the room.

I shoved the current patient out of the way and handed the note to the doctor.

He looked surprised and shocked at first, but he read the note and went pale.

'Out, _now_.' He said to both of us and pushed us out of the room.

The current patient looked annoyed, but I explained to her that it was actually a real life or death situation.

Then she just looked worried.

I also saw Kelsey, Savannah and Bee outside.

They had come running when they realised I wasn't kidding.

About time really.

They went to get drinks, and the doctor came out and told me she was ok, but still asleep.

He said I could go see her before I left, as she was going to be asleep for a couple of hours.

I quickly went in before the girls got back and sat on a stool by her bed.

I was stoking her hair, and I was amazed at how soft it was.

Mine certainly wasn't.

Then again she probably brushed hers.

I heard the girls coming back, so I stood up, and acting on a whim, kissed her on the forehead.

So that's the reason I'm writing in my diary, _again_ today.

This is the first time I have written twice in one day.

Lily's still in the hospital.

I got to see her before I left though.

Her face was normal again, not pale white, and her heart rate seemed to be normal again too.

The doctors said it was only the second case of it they've seen.

They said it was called Tardus Cruorius or something.

Latin for Slowed Blood or something.

Because that's exactly what happens.

No one knows what triggers it, but for some reason the heart beats drop suddenly.

When it reaches around 55 bpm (beats per minute) they fall unconscious, as the body goes into a certain mode to keep itself alive for longer and preserve oxygen or something.

I'm not sure of the details.

But today was one of the worst Easter's ever.

And one of the best.

Lily almost died.

And I saved her life.

**James.**

* * *

**Hope you like it! Reviews please! The more reviews i get, the more inspired i am to write! Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!**


	18. Another Debt

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Ok, i hope you like it!**

Chapter 18- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Severus****' Diary, 6:43am 20****th**** April 1972**

I really feel like cursing Potter all the way to Mars.

How dare he?

How dare he even _speak _to my Lily, let alone let himself be _locked in a BROOM CUPBOARD _with her!

I can't believe she waited so long to tell me!

It happened like a month ago!

When she told me, she was making sound unimportant, like 'Oh and James and I got locked in a broom cupboard, but it was nothing big.' Then changed the subject really quickly.

When I pressured her for more info, she told me, 'Well my friends knew I was really mad at him, so they tricked us both into meeting in the boy's dorm at 4. Then they jumped out at us and kicked us into the cupboard, then locked the door so we couldn't get out. But I remembered the unlocking charm pretty quickly, so it was ok.'

I glared for a little while, but then nodded as if I accepted what she said.

But I knew the truth.

Potter was obviously in on the whole thing.

I bet he had planned the whole thing with his friends.

But he will _never _take advantage of _my _Lily.

I'd make sure of it.

If he even _touched _her…

But he wouldn't dare.

I told Lily to take care of herself, and she laughed, saying, 'Sev, when ever do I _not _take care of myself? I know what you're thinking, and if James even tries to speak to me I will curse him so badly he'll be in the hospital wing all day.'

I smiled.

Lily knew me too well.

But apparently Potter saved her life on Easter.

I couldn't believe it at first.

It was at that party at Bianca's house – that Gryffindor girl that Lily hangs out with.

I bet he had planned the whole thing.

Like he did with the cupboard.

I mean, he just _happened _to know _exactly_ what was wrong with Lily and was the only person who saved her.

What a _coincidence!_

Everyone was telling me it was this rare disease that makes your blood flow go down really quickly, but I looked it up in some library books and apparently the last time is what seen was in 1948.

_Pretty _rare, and if you ask me the chance that Lily could have it is about 1:100000000000000…..

Pretty much infinity.

But Lily seems to kinda like him now.

Well, not like, but she doesn't hate him like she used to.

She doesn't curse him into oblivion anymore.

I liked it better when she did.

But… what if _I _had been there?

What would've happened if _I _was the person carrying her to St Mungo's (if it _was _real of course, which it probably wasn't)?

I would've been a hero.

Lily would've leaped into my arms when we got back at school (not that she did that to Potter) and started crying and tell me that I was the bestest friend ever, and that she would do anything for me (not that she did that to Potter either).

I would've been a hero.

But I wasn't, and I have to get over that.

Lily will always be my friend, more than she will ever be to _Potter_.

But yesterday he and Black levitated a plate of bacon and tipped it all over me.

I was _covered _in grease, and little pieces of bacon were balancing on my head.

The whole hall burst out laughing, except Lily.

Even my friends were laughing, but Lily stood up and started yelling at Potter.

He still had that cocky arrogant grin on his face, and he said something, still smiling, but Lily sent a quick hex at him.

I watched, excited, but nothing happened.

Potter looked worried for a moment, but when nothing happened, Black smiled and said something teasingly at Lily.

To my surprise, Lily smiled sweetly and said something, then walked off.

Then Potter turned to Black and said something, but after the first word or so he stopped and looked confused.

Then he tried to say something again, with the same results.

He put a hand to his throat, and then I realized what Lily had done.

She had taken away his voice.

I ran after her as she walked out of the hall, and told her how awesome she was.

What she did next surprised me.

'Ok, stand there and pretend I am not here. Try and clean the grease off yourself.' Then she darted behind a statue to the left of the entranced.

I shrugged, and then did as she asked me too.

That was when Potter and Black walked out.

'Oi, Snivellus!' Black yelled at me. 'Seen your girlfriend around anywhere?'

I smirked and replied, 'Maybe. Why doesn't Potter ask around, we all hear he has a thing for Lily. Oh wait, he can't, because he has no voice. Shame about that really.'

Black looked angry and pulled out his wand, but Lily stepped around the statue and sent a charm at Black.

Then he couldn't talk either.

She gave me a hi-five, and then walked off to get her books. 'Bye Sev!' she called, purposely ignoring Potter and Black, who seemed to be trying to yell something at her.'

Lily is truly an angel.

Oh, Avery and Mulciber are waking up.

Bye, **Severus.**

*** * * ***

**Lily's**** Diary, 2:31pm 17****th**** April 1972**

I can't stop thinking about Easter.

I remember telling James to get lost, and then I just blacked out.

The last think I remember was James' face – surprised and shocked, and I think horrified as well as I feel.

That's it.

Then I woke up in St Mungo's at around 7, with Sav, Kelsey, Bee, Sev and my parents standing around me.

Apparently Ministry officials were sent around to my parents' house to tell them that I was in St Mungo's.

They escorted them there, as muggles can't go into St Mungo's or really see it at all.

I woke up groggily, with a _splitting _headache.

'Wha…?' Was the first thing I said and everyone looked away from the heart monitor, or the doctor or wherever they were looking to look at me.

'Lily!' 'Lillian!' 'Lils!' I heard all at once.

'Hey… what happened?' I asked 'One moment I was at the party and the next…'

That was when mum started crying and hugged me so tight it could've killed me.

'Uh, Mum, can't breathe…' I choked out and she loosened her hold, although she was still holding onto me.

'Oh my baby *sob*! My poor *sob* little Lily! She almost *sob* died!' She was crying.

Even my dad had tears in his eyes.

'We'll come back after' mouthed Kelsey, and she, Kelsey, Bee and (after a moment's hesitation) Sev left the hospital ward to give me a while alone with my parents.

For about 15 minutes I was smothered in hugs and kisses and told how much I was loved, and what terrible parents they were for not finding out about it, no matter how many times I told them it wasn't their fault.

They said they were sorry that Tuney didn't come; she was busy with school work.

But I know it's just because she doesn't like seeing me,

I was hoping that almost dying would make her realize how much she really loves me, but apparently not.

Oh well.

She'll come around.

Then they said they had to go, and they'd let my friends have a go at talking too me.

Sev could go first, they said, so they could take him home.

So Sev came in, looking at the floor.

Then he looked up and I saw his eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were shiny.

'Oh Sev.' I said to him. 'Don't cry! I'm ok!'

Then he ran right up to me and gave me a massive bear hug.

'I-I-I thought you were g-going to d-die!' he sobbed. 'I-I thought you w-were going to die a-and I wouldn't b-be there too make it b-better!' He stayed there, crying in my arms for about 5 minutes, and then pulled away.

He wiped the tears away from his eyes. 'Don't you ever do that to me again Lily Evans!' he told me firmly.

I didn't even know I was crying too until he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

'Hey, _you_ don't have to cry!' he said. '_You're_ not the one who has been through hours of not knowing whether you were alive or dead. _I _have. _I _get to cry.' Then he smiled at me and hugged me again.

'I have to go.' He told me. 'Bye. And don't almost die again. It almost killed me.'

'Bye. See you at school.' I replied, and kissed him on the cheek. 'Thanks for being here.' We smiled at each other as he walked out, and Kelsey, Sav and Bee walked in.

They too fell over themselves hugging me.

I wonder how many hugs I got that day.

After about 5 minutes of hugging and crying, they told me what happened.

'I feel so bad!' Sav said. 'James _said _there was something wrong, and we didn't belie-'

'Whoa! Back up!' I said, surprised. '_James?_ What did he have to do with any of it?'

'Well James-' they all started at the same time.

Kelsey and Sav broke off, so Bee continued.

'Right after you fainted; we walked into the lounge room, and saw James holding you. At first we thought it was like a hug or something, and then we realized you were actually unconscious. We laid you on the couch, thinking it was just overtiredness, but then James went like completely white and started saying you were going to die. We thought he was just kidding, attention seeking like he usually does, so we told him to shut up and we walked out. And we feel so, _so _bad about that, believe me.'

Bee stopped, and Kelsey continued.

'Then about 5 minutes later we went back, because James hadn't come back, and you and he were gone. _Then _we realized he was serious. Luckily I had some muggle money in her purse, so we ran to the …buss top? Busstop? Oh, a Bus Stop! Yea, that was it. We jumped on the bus and it took us around the corner from St Mungo's. Busses take _ages _though. Much longer than apparation or brooms. We ran and pushed through the line, and the lady told us you were on level 2. So we ran up there and James was waiting outside with this other witch. He was practically _crying_ even, although he quickly wiped away tears when we explained to us what had happened, and… Lily you're never going to believe this…'

Sav broke in.

'James saved your life. You looked like you were about to die, but he got this hellebore plant and it stopped the illness thingy. It was the only thing keeping you alive when you got to St Mungo's'

I was shocked.

James, of all people saved me.

And he was _crying._

I was also annoyed.

That was _another _debt I owed him.

When will I stop owing James Potter?

Now I'm not _as _mean to him.

I don't hex him with anything too bad, and only when he bullies Sev.

Yesterday I took away his voice.

He still doesn't have it.

It's been pretty quiet lately.

Well, bye for now.

Love, _**Lily.**_

**_* * * *_**

**James'**** Diary, 7:48pm 17****th**** April 1972**

I'm still voiceless after yesterday.

The teachers decided to leave me voiceless to see how strong Lily's spell was.

That and the fact that I didn't disturb the class anymore.

But Lily is a _very _powerful witch.

I mean, the hex has already lasted 24 hours.

And it doesn't seem to be weakening.

But tipping a whole plate over Snivellus was almost worth it.

Almost.

Wait.

Sirius' has come back.

That is so unfair!

Lily really has a grudge against me.

Well, I still knew that, but still.

Can't she just get over it?

I mean, I did save her life and all.

Twice.

But she doesn't hate me anymore.

I mean, she doesn't send me to the hospital wing.

Only hexes like this one.

Although I have to say – she's very good at Charms.

I don't know when my voice is coming back, but it better be soon.

The whole day I was following her around begging.

I'm not kidding; Sirius and I were on our _knees_.

All she said was, 'Sorry, what is it you want? I can't hear you.' Then smiled and walked off.

But I noticed she kept the flowers.

She had them at St Mungo's, and they were still alive (well _duh_, all flowers with magical properties stay alive for at least 3 months), and as I was walking past the stairs I caught sight of a room at the top (which was a _lot _cleaner than ours) and the flowers were on the desk next to her bed.

I'm glad she liked them.

I should ask what her favorite flower is.

I shouldn't just assume they're lilies.

After all, I'll probably be offending her so much I should get her a bunch of flowers every week.

I have to know her favorite type.

But I have to go now.

The boys are getting ready for bed, and I don't want them to see me with a dia-journal.

Later, **James.**

* * *

**Please review! **

**Also, one of my favorite James and Lily stories is:**

**Of Raindrops, Flowers, & Wishing Wells by PottedLilies**

**You should really check it out.**


	19. The Time Turner

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Thanks so much to ****AnonymousMSQ, who has reviewed almost every chapter since the beginning!**

Chapter 18- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**James'**** Diary, 9:21am 1****st**** May 1972**

The hex _finally _woreoff last week_._

I had it for like 5 days!

Possibly 6!

Sirius only had it for 2.

You would've thought after Easter she'd warm up to me a bit more.

But, no, still the same as ever.

Well, actually that's not _entirely_ true.

She talks to me sometimes.

And calls me James sometimes, not just Potter.

And she doesn't actually hex me with anything that hurts.

Like before the holidays I did something to Snivellus, and she gave me these huge boils all over_ entire _body!

Even- never mind.

I had to go to the hospital wing and Madame Wiste cast this spell, but it took _5 hours _for the to go away.

_5 hours!_

And the time before that-

Well, you don't really need to know _every_ time Lily has sent me to the hospital wing.

Although the new healer-in-training is there, Madame Pomfrey.

She's really nice.

She always gives me chocolate frogs when Madame Wiste isn't looking – I think she feels sorry for how many times I get sent up there.

She must feel even sorrier for Snivellus.

He goes up here even more than _I _do.

I get sent up every time Lily sees me hex Snivellus.

Snivellus gets sent up jeer every time Lily sees me hex him and every time she _doesn't._

Which, I have to say, is not as much as I would like.

I see Lily popping around corners _just _as I'm about to hex him.

But there are times where the prank is worth Lily sending me to the hospital wing.

Like, I'm planning this _really _good one where-

But I can't say.

You'll find out soon enough.

But the _one _thing I need is very hard to smuggle into the castle.

Or I have to be able to make a 6th year potion.

And I doubt Slughorn would make it for me.

I doubt he would make it for _Lily_, and that's saying something.

She's his most favorite student of all time and 'has a natural gift for potion-making', to say in his words.

But I could totally be better.

I just don't listen.

I spend all my times planning new pranks – I don't really _want _to learn how to make potions.

And-

Merlin.

I just remembered something.

The time-turner.

What did Lily do with it?

I'm going to send her a letter.

That seems like the best thing to do, seeing as I can't talk.

I'll write 'URGENT' on the front, to make sure she actually reads it.

She might not anyway, but hopefully it will make her.

This is what it will say:

_Lily,_

_Ok I know you're probably going to chuck this out as soon as you finish it, or even before you finish it, but please don't._

_It's urgent._

_What did you do with the… um… your birthday present?_

_I realized just before that I hadn't done anything with it, and I wasn't sure if you have either._

_If you have, that's cool, but if you haven't, we need too soon._

_And don't leave me out of it – I'm involved now._

_Please don't just rip this up and throw it in the fire – it's actually important._

_And please forgive me. _

_I truly am sorry._

_James_

Yea, that seems like a good letter.

Hopefully she won't rip it up like all the other ones.

Oh, Hermes is here.

He can send the letter to Lily right away.

I told him to keep pecking her until she read it, and to stop her if she tries to rip it up.

I guess I'll just have to wait for a reply.

Waiting… waiting… waiting…

Come on Lily we don't have all day!

Well, technically we do because it's a Sunday but-

Oh!

There's Hermes again!

That was fast.

Lily is a _very_ fast writer.

He's carrying a letter!

Lily actually decided to reply, for once!

I'll open it and see what it says.

_James,_

_Don't think that because I reply to you once that I'm going to always reply._

_This is important, and that is the only reason I am replying._

_Also – don't tell Sev._

_Or your voice will _mysteriously _disappear again._

_No, I have not disposed of my birthday present yet._

_I've hidden it with some of my other stuff, but I agree that we need to do something about it._

_Soon._

_My friends are busy with a DADA assignment this afternoon – we have to do it then._

_I don't care what plans you have – this is more important._

_Get the rest of your little group out of the way, send Sirius chasing after Kelsey or whatever, I don't care what it takes._

_Today, 12pm, the eastern side of the lake, under that really big oak tree._

_Meet me there; we can decide what to do with it there._

_Lily_

Wow.

Lily actually sent me a letter!

I mean, she talks to me a bit after Easter but she's never replied to a letter.

This is a big improvement on my part.

Note to self – when you want Lily's attention, find something important to talk about.

But why would I even want Lily's attention?

I mean, she's stubborn, rude, impatient… beautiful, kind, caring-

Ok, I have to go now leave now before I start that again.

I have to figure out a way to get Sirius, Remus and Peter out of the way for this afternoon.

Actually that suggestion about Kelsey is a good idea…

Later, **James**.

**Lily's**** Diary, 2:03pm 1****st**** May 1972**

Today was interesting.

Pott- I mean James (I should at least call him James after he saved my life! I might be a bit hard to get out of the habit…) and I got rid of the time-turner.

I met him at that big Oak tree near the lake at 12.

'Ok James, what are we going to do about this?' I said, motioning to a small box locked with a key that I was holding. 'I've got it in here, so no one could get to it – I think I was the only person listening in that Charms lesson.. So, where should it go?' I ask him. 'I thought maybe burying it somewhere…'

'No, I've got a better spot' he says, interrupting me. 'The lake. We could barely get it from there, and you're the best swimmer I know. If we dump it heaps far out, no one will be able to get it. And I hear these items can't be summoned anyway.'

I though about it, then realized it was a pretty good idea.

'Ok, how are we going to get it out that far? I mean we could try and levitate it but -'

'Wait there!' he interrupted (again) and ran off.

5 minutes later he's back – with a broom.

'One of the older Gryffindor kids has a broom, I asked to borrow it.' He says, smiling.

I could tell he was going to really enjoy this.

'Ok, hop on.' He commanded.

I stared at the broom for a bit.

I was never a good flyer, one of the worst in my class. What's worse, storm could are coming. I just heard thunder, and the sky was pretty much grey.

'Ummm…' I hesitate. 'Maybe _you _should go… I'm not the best flyer…'

But he only laughs.

'Don't worry; I'll be right behind you. Now hurry up, get on the broom before it starts to rain.'

I falter one more second, and then swing a leg over the broom.

Potter– I mean James – got on behind me and placed his hands over mine towards the front of the broom.

It actually felt kind of… nice.

Before I had time to back out, he kicks off the ground.

I let out a little scream, thinking we're about to tip over, which is what I usually do, but the brooms soared swiftly upward and over the lake.

I gasped, actually enjoying the feeling of the cool wind brushing through my hair.

Potter – James – is a good flyer.

That's when it started to rain.

'Ohhh!' I said, startled, as a raindrop splattered on my forehead. We're over the lake now, and James whispers in my ear 'Drop it here! I don't want to get caught in the storm.'

I nod, and fish the little box out of my pocket.

I let it fall, watching it turn over, almost in slow motion, until it breaks the surface of the lake.

There's a little splash, and James turns the broom around and heads for the bank.

Luckily no one is around because of the storm, so we were able to do that unseen.

By the time we land it's absolutely pouring.

I tried to get off the broom but slipped over.

James caught my arm just as I went down, and he pulled me back up to a standing position.

I fell against him, my head on his chest, and my wrist still in his hand.

That was the first time I noticed how beautiful his eyes are.

I gazed into them, transfixed by the little specks of light dancing around against the hazel background.

They say eyes are the window to the soul, and I agree.

In them I could see all his happiness, sadness, longing and hope.

His round glasses magnified them the tiniest bit and I could see how his eyes seemed to dance when he looked into mine.

I didn't even notice the rain any more; all I could see was James.

Then just his face moved closer to mine, a raindrop landed on my nose, breaking my focus and tearing my eyes away from his.

'Ohhh!' I squealed, not for the first time.

Then I notice the rain again.

I look back up at James, a bit embarrassed and say quickly, 'Oh, um, I have to go now!' and run off, leaving him behind me, watching me as I leave.

Now I'm very confused.

What would've happened if the raindrop hadn't landed exactly as it did?

And, the bigger question is, would I have wanted it to happen?

_**Lily**_

**Peter's**** Diary, 6:51pm 1****st**** May 1972**

We spent most of the day in that library today.

Well, me, Remus and Sirius did.

I don't know where James went.

But you should've seen Remus' face today.

Sirius was like, 'Yea, so how about we go to the library and study for a bit?'

Then there was silence.

Remus stopped writing his essay and I, well I just continued staring at him.

'You want to… _what?_' Remus said. 'You want to… go to the _library?_ Who are you and what have you done with Sirius Black?'

I laughed at that, but then realizing no one else was laughing I stopped.

'Well, um, finals are coming up soon and well…' Sirius stumbled.

Then Remus laughed, so I laughed along too, even though I didn't get why we were laughing.

'I get it!' He said, still laughing. 'Kelsey's in the library, isn't she?'

_Then_ I got it.

Sirius went all red, and went, 'Um, well, maybe, ah… yea she is. But I still think we should study!'

'Yea, you just want to see Kelsey!' I repeated after Remus, but they pretty much ignored me.

Remus gave a last little chuckle. 'All right, let's go watch you flirt with Kelsey.'

'I do not flirt!' Sirius insisted. 'I just… charm.' He finished somewhat lamely. 'I just, um, well, let's just go!' he said and walked out the portrait.

So we went into the library and sat down near the Charms section of the library.

As expected, Sirius grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote something on it, and folded it into a paper airplane and sent it flying in front of Kelsey, who was sitting at the desks with Savannah and Bee.

She looked up, surprised, and opened it.

She read it a bit and rolled her eyes, looking around the library.

Her eyes scanned over Sirius, who lowered the book he was 'reading' (it was upside-down) to wink at her, then went back to his 'reading'.

She giggled at Bee and Sav, then pulled out her wand and levitated the book he was 'reading' so that it was the right way up, looking at him with eyebrows raised.

He looked over, surprised, and when he realized what she had done, and looked sheepish behind the book.

He recovered almost immediately, grinning at her with that grin I wish I had, but didn't, and went back to 'reading'.

She scribbled back on the airplane and sent it back, and he wrote some cheesy one-liner on it and sent it back.

That happened for the next hour or so, with Remus and I studying and Sirius sending notes, although I did notice once that Bee smiled at me shyly and then went back to reading.

I was kind of shocked, so I randomly reached out to take another book.

Remus kind of went a bit weird.

He immediately took it off me and said, 'Here, read mine it's really interesting.', then he gave me his and put the other one back in the wrong spot.

Hmm.

Wonder what was up with that.

Maybe he has a think about wolves.

Because I think that's what was on the cover.

A wolf.

I don't know.

But oh well.

I have to go now, before they see me with a diary.

Bye, **Peter.**


	20. The Best Prank Ever!

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Thanks so much to ****AnonymousMSQ, who has reviewed almost every chapter since the beginning!**

Chapter 20- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Sirius****' Diary, 7:10am 25****th**** May 1972**

Today is going to be _gold_.

This is going to be the best prank _ever_.

I can't believe that we didn't think of it before.

Thank god animals can't talk.

Hermes would've blabbed on us _long_ ago.

James had him trained from an early age to do pranks.

He's playing a bit part today.

We can't do it without him.

First we needed him to sneak it into the castle.

Now we need him to…

Well you'll find out later.

Remus seemed a bit unsure of this one.

He thought maybe we were being a bit too hard on Lily too.

Whoops.

I wasn't supposed to write that.

It _will_ involve Lily, but only a little bit.

She'll probably kill us, but it'll be worth it.

But Remus is acting a bit worried today.

He says that in about 2 days he's going to see his Grandma in St Mungo's.

I wish my Grandma wanted to see me that much.

If I went to see her now, she'd probably poison me.

Apparently I'm a disgrace to the family.

Just because I'm in Gryffindor.

When I went home for the Easter holidays, I was pretty much ignored by everyone except Regulus.

He only talked to me when Mother and Father weren't in the room though.

He wanted me to tell him all about Hogwarts, so I told him all about James, Remus and Peter and the Gryffindor Common Room, and heaps of other things, telling him how awesome Gryffindor is and how most of the Slytherins are really mean.

He seemed kind of doubtful; Mother and Father have probably told him that Slytherins are so cool and Gryffindors are the bullies.

James let me stay at his place for like half the holidays.

I went straight to his place after the party.

Actually the party is a funny conversation.

It went like this (it's easier to write it like this):

Me: Ummm, Mother?

Mother: What is it!?

Me: Well, I have an Easter party tomorrow, and James has invited me to his place afterwards for the rest of the holidays.

Mother: *thinks – probably that she doesn't want to make me happy by letting me go but wants to get rid of me* Whose party is it anyway? Some Gryffindor student? Why should I even let you go anyway?

Me: Umm, a girl called Bianca Malfin is having it at her place.

Mother: Oh, _Malfin_? All right you can go. Now get out of my sight.

I mean, she actually _let_ me go.

I was expecting to have to sneak out.

And what was it with the name Malfin that got her interest?

I guess it's because she's a well known pure blood.

Even if they are blood traitors.

Maybe she's not _as_ mad at me as I thought though.

Maybe, after a time, she'll accept me being in Gryffindor.

If I don't conflict with their beliefs _too_ much, maybe she come to love me again.

Humph, fat chance of that.

They like hate me.

But maybe.

Maybe one day she won't mind.

Oh, I have to go now.

I should probably _try_ to get some study in for the final exams.

They're coming up next week.

Oh well.

I'll fluke it.

James and I are like the best at every subject.

Later, **Sirius.**

**Lily****'s Diary, 12:42pm 25****th**** May 1972**

I don't know why I ever thought that Jam-Potter and Black had changed.

Now I have to call him Potter again, and I _just_ got used to James!

They played the _worst_ prank on Sev today, and it involved _ME_.

How _dare_ they!

This morning, at breakfast in the Great Hall, they…

Oh I can hardly even say it.

They gave Sev a love potion.

I don't know _how_, but I have a theory it was James' owl.

Because right after the mail came and everyone was eating, Sev broke out in a chorus of praises about me, and how much he loved me.

I went bright red, to match my hair, and he came running over to my table and knelt down and was shouting out to the whole world how much he loved me.

The entire time, Jame-Potter and Black were laughing so hard they were crying.

Sev's friends just looked shocked, and my friends were laughing too, but mostly out of shock.

Right between when he was admiring my 'beautiful eyes and luscious red hair', Madame Wiste ran in and started tugging Sev away.

Sev was trying to pull back, but Madame Wiste was stronger (she's definitely stronger than she looks) and shouting, 'No! Let me go! BUT I LOVE LILY EVANS!' at the top of his lungs as he was dragged out of the Great Hall.

I went straight up to J-Potter and Black, who were wiping tears out of their eyes, and slapped them both.

The sound was so loud the entire Great Hall stopped laughing and stared.

I didn't care.

'How _dare_ you!' I shrieked 'How _dare_ you humiliate Sev like that! He _never_ did anything to you! Ever!'

'Well actually Lily it's just kind of the fact he's alive that bothers-' Potter stopped as I slapped him again.

'Or _me_!' I shouted, and then lowered my voice so only they could hear it, and let all the anger out of my eyes so that there was only hurt and sadness.

'How could you do that to me James?' I was close to tears. 'I thought I could trust you. Obviously not'

I turned and strode away.

'Lily – wait!' I could hear Potter shouting behind me as I left the Great Hall.

He grabbed my arm, and I pulled out my wand and spun around.

'RELASHIO! EXPELIARMUS!' I yelled. 'PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! FURNUNCULUS!' I yelled, leaving Potter wand less, lying on the ground and covered with boils.

That should teach him.

I stormed off, back to my dorm, and sat down and wrote a letter to Sev.

_Dear Sev,_

_I'm so sorry about what happened at breakfast._

_I know you didn't mean it; Potter and Black gave you a love potion I think._

_And I'm using Potter's owl now, because I don't have my own, so if you see it and recognize it don't like curse it or anything to annoy Potter, because I always use it (without him knowing of course)._

_I think it would make you happier to know that I slapped Black once and Potter twice, and I left Potter lying on the floor outside the Great Hall unable to move and covered in boils._

_And I hate Potter again._

_I'm pretty sure you noticed I was being nicer to him after he…helped me out at Easter, but now I hate him again._

_So when you get better, read this and send me back a letter please._

_I know you didn't mean it._

_Love, Lily._

Maybe I should visit him…

But no, in case it hasn't worn off yet.

Oh, I just got a letter now.

Hopefully no one saw Hermes come here, I'm hiding from everyone.

It said,

_Lily,_

_Thanks for your letter._

_I'm sorry too; I must have embarrassed you so much today._

_I won't let it happen again, I _promise_._

_You can come see me now if you like – the potion's worn off._

_Madame Wiste wants me to stay here until dinner time._

_My friends wont be there, they came earlier this morning… telling me to stay away from them for today._

_And possibly tomorrow._

_I'll see you soon,_

_Sev._

Oh, I have to go now.

I think Kelsey, Sav and Bee have found me.

I'll just pretend I'm studying.

Love,_** Lily.**_

**Severus'**** Diary, 5:12pm 25****th**** May 1972**

Today was so embarrassing.

Potter and Black gave me a love potion that made me fall in love with Lily.

Well, actually, just made me go around _exclaiming_ my love for Lily.

Since I already love her it doesn't really do much but that.

It was a really weird feeling.

One moment I was just thinking about her like I always do, and the next, well, it was kind of like an epiphany.

There was this sudden realisation that I loved her, and I needed to scream and shout my love to the world.

It wasn't something I could really suppress.

Like I had _seen the light_ or what ever.

I had run all the way to the Gryffindor table and started exclaiming to Lily how much I loved her.

_So _embarrassing.

And then it had worn off and I realized what I had done.

And I saw a note beside my bed.

It was from Lily.

I almost cried.

There was this one part that said, _I know you didn't mean it_.

And all I wanted to do was cry out to the world 'But I _did_ mean everything! All of it!' But I couldn't.

It would never be the same between me and Lily.

It would get really awkward and she wouldn't ever want to talk to me.

Ever.

And all my friends would like kill me.

'You like a mudblood!' They would scream at me. 'You like a dirty little girl like _her_?'

So I have to pretend I don't.

It worse enough pretending to hate her in front of my friends, let alone having to pretend that I don't love her in front of _her_.

Life is so unfair.

And final exams should be destroyed.

I've been staying up so late this week.

Lily offered to help me study, but after about 3 sessions I told her that my friends wanted me to stay in the common room.

Really it was just because I was getting even _less_ study done – she kept on distracting me by just _being _there.

She's going to _thrash_ everyone in potions and charms.

And History of Magic.

She must be like the only person who actually _listens_ in that class.

Oh, I have to go now.

My friends are coming back and I have to convince them I'm still cool.

Bye, **Sev.**

**Avery's**** Diary, 7:23pm 25****th**** May 1972**

Exams are in a week.

Everyone's been studying madly, and Severus has been hanging out with that _Evans_ girl.

The mudblood.

When we found out we forbade him to go study with her.

But we were smarter than that.

We did say, 'You can't! We won't let you!'

Because that would've made him want to even more.

We played the whole, 'Severus, do you like her better than us? I mean, you can go off with her if you want, but I never knew that we meant so little to you as friends, if you won't even _study_ with us!'

So, of course, he said, 'No, of course not! I was just going with her to keep her happy, you guys are so much cooler!' and is now not studying with her.

Aren't we so good at that?

But I don't get what the point of _Defence Against the Dark Arts_ is.

It would be so much better to _learn_ dark arts, and then we wouldn't need to be protected from them.

Well, we wanted him to study with us until this morning.

When he stared exclaiming his love for the mudblood to the world.

Of course, it was obviously a prank from Potter and Black, but it was still _way_ uncool.

A mudblood of all people!

A Gryffindor is bad enough, but a _mudblood_ Gryffindor!?

If they were in Slytherin I would be taking lessons from them.

But they're not.

So I shouldn't even consider it.

And I shouldn't even consider _talking_ to the traitor Black.

He turned his back on his family to go in Gryffindor.

And Potter, they must be the biggest family of blood-traitors around!

Unless it's those Weasley people that Mother told me about.

I was talking to Lucius about trying to get them expelled.

But for some reason he went, 'No, not Bee...anca. I mean Malfis'

I frowned. 'Why not? She's a Gryffindor, and friends with that Evans mudblood.'

He looked a bit lost for words for a moment and then said, 'Well, um, she's a pure-blood! Yea! We don't want to get rid of her. Well, I mean sure but only after the rest of them. Pure bloods should go last.'

That seems a bit weird.

What is it with Lucius and that Malfis girl?

Later, **Avery.**


	21. Final Reports

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**I was writing it and when I typed in June I was suddenly thought 'Wow, this is probably the second last entry for 1****st**** year.' It was a pretty interesting thought. I was happy and sad at the same time. Don't worry – there will be one for the holidays too.**

**This one won't have many entries – It'll be mostly just reports, so you can see all their strengths and weaknesses for later reference in the story.**

Chapter 21- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Lily****'s Diary, 8:04am 11****th**** June 1972**

I'm shaking all over.

I don't know why I'm so scared.

It's not _that_ scary.

Or maybe it is.

I don't know!

I'll have to write to my parents straight away.

They want to know immediately.

I think I hear wings!

No, it's ok, I'm just imagining it.

I wonder when it'll come.

My Final Exam Marks.

Yes diary, all caps.

I just _know_ I got that question wrong in History of Magic!

The one about the, um, the… name of that famous goblin for something.

Go-Gorith?

Gorgith?

I don't know.

I was so scared yesterday.

Potter and Sirius were just lounging around playing wizards chess (it's really cool, the pieces move by themselves!) and Black said to me, 'Chill Lily. You'll do fine, and if you don't it doesn't matter.'

Well he and Potter didn't study _at all_ practically, so I wouldn't be surprised if they failed.

I hope I did well enough in the Transfiguration practical.

We had to turn a flower into a teacup.

Professor McGonagall was really nice to me.

She even conjured up a lily just for me; all the other students got tulips.

She said that lilies and tulips were the same in difficulty so it didn't matter.

My teacup had patterns of lilies on it, I'm not sure whether that will give me points or loose me them.

But the teacup was rather oddly shaped in my opinion, I hope she didn't notice.

But, of course she would've.

It's her job to notice.

And I think I did ok in Charms, I managed to levitate my teacup onto the right hook (for some reason we had to use the same teacup for Charms as we made in Transfiguration), and I managed to perform a cushioning charm to stop it smashing when Professor Flitwick got it off the hook.

And for potions-

Oh Merlin (it's so funny I'm picking up all the wizarding words).

The school owl is here.

I'm here alone – Kelsey, Sav and Bee are at breakfast.

I wanted to get my marks alone – they said they'd bring me some bacon and toast when they get back.

Here's my report:

_Lily Evans is a polite, talented young witch who continues to excel in all her subjects. She is courteous to her teacher and peers, and is very loyal to her friends. __She is generous to all students, regardless of their year and house and sets a very good example for all of Hogwarts. She might want to stop curing Mr Potter long enough for him to heal though._ (I didn't know they put stuff like that in reports. He he. It seems the teachers have a sense of humour).

_Potions: __108% _(Can you get over 100%? I feel so special!)

_Herbology: __86%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts: 92%_

_Transfiguration: 86% _(I guess she _did_ notice it was oddly shaped...)

_History of Magic: __98%_

_Astronomy: 91%_

_Charms: 112%_

_Flying: 72% _(I wasn't expecting a good mark for that one anyway.)

Wow.

I did really well!

Mum and Dad will be so proud of me!

I doubt they'll mind the not-so-good flying mark; they wouldn't want me on a broom anyway.

Oh, I can hear Kelsey, Sav and Bee coming back up.

I'd better go!

Love, _**Lily.**_

**James'**** Diary, 12:51pm 11****th**** June 1972**

I got my report today.

It was great.

I didn't really care at all though.

It's only first year, they like don't count for anything!

Lils was completely freaking out.

She was biting her nails the day before they came, and saying 'What if I failed? What if I'm so bad they ask me to leave!? What will my parents say? I'll be publicly humiliated forever!'

I rolled my eyes at her and said 'Evans, _chill_. You are _not_ going to fail! All the teachers love you! And even if you do fail, it doesn't matter. No one cares.'

That just made her worse.

But I should owl my parents soon.

Later.

But here's my report just for the record:

_James Potter is an intelligent young wizard, yet he always seems to be in trouble. He disturbs classes and spends most of his free time in detention. __Although, he does have a very active imagination _(I think that's the teacher's way of saying the pranks I play are really cool) _He excels in flying and transfiguration, and it is unknown why as it seems as though he never pays attention in class at all, even when separated from friends. With a bit more studding, he could well be the smartest wizard in his year._

_Potions: __89%_

_Herbology: __95% _(really? Maybe Professor Sprout found out about Easter…)

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 102% _(Wow – I guess people really are best at the subjects they like)

_Transfiguration: __99% _(Wow I don't even pay attention in that)

_History of Magic: __78%_

_Astronomy: 81%_

_Charms: 92%_

_Flying: 111% _(Well it _was _kind of obvious.)

I'm so excited!

Professor McGonagall said that I got the top in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration and Flying, and one of the top 5 in Herbology.

Apparently Lily got the top in Potions, History of Magic and Charms and tied second on Astronomy with Mary McDonald.

Mother and Father will be so proud.

Especially with DADA.

Mother says Father was the best at that in his day ('Back in _our_ day…').

Sirius also did pretty well in that.

I doubt his parents will be proud.

He's staying at my place for half the holidays.

He was acting all cool, but I could tell there was sadness beneath all the extrovertness.

If that's a word.

Which it probably isn't.

Good thing there isn't English at Hogwarts or I'd fail it.

And I can't believe we go home on the first.

First year has gone so quickly…

It'll seem no time at all before we're all gradating.

I can't wait.

I'll be able to use magic _outside_ of school then.

Imagine all the fun I could have!

Of course, I could probably still use it at home.

The Ministry would probably think it was Mum or Dad.

Poor Lily.

She couldn't – she's the only witch in her family.

I'll have to write to her over the summer.

Even if she doesn't write back.

Or even send hate notes.

But I'm used to that.

I just send back 'You know hatred is a sign of love' and she gets really annoyed at be because she doesn't know what to respond with.

But Peter's Birthday is the week after the holidays start.

The 9th of July.

I wonder what I'll get him.

Maybe a growth spell.

Ha-ha.

But that would just be mean.

He's alright _really_.

Just a little… well I don't know the word for it really.

He's more like a one-man-cheer-squad.

But he's great.

But Remus is really lucky.

He gets to leave a week early – on the 25th – to visit his Grandma.

I asked why it couldn't wait 5 days but he just stammered, 'Well- I – I – really have to see her soon… Ah sorry…'

It's a shame.

Oh well.

Oh, I should go now.

I have to show off to Lily how smart I am.

See ya, **James.**

**Sirius'**** Report, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Sirius Black is a disruptive student, particularly in Potions class, yet he always manages to get quite top marks in most of his subjects. Most of the teachers puzzle over this, however there is no doubt of the subjects he enjoys most, particularly Defence Against the Dark Arts and Charms class._ (Yes! My parents will probably get so annoyed at me for the DADA one. Although maybe it will make mother hate me more…) _He is very loyal to his friends, and always sticks by them, even when getting in trouble, showing true Gryffindor House Spirit _(Mother will hate that even more)

_Potions: __88%_

_Herbology__: 79%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 99% _(Yes!)

_Transfiguration: __91%_

_History of Magic: __83%_

_Astronomy: 91% _(Maybe because of my name…?)

_Charms: __98%_

_Flying: 87%_

**Remus'**** Report, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Remus Lupin is an attentive young boy. He is modest and kind to all students, but quite shy at time, never drawing attention to himself_ (Well when you're a wer- what I am you kind of have no remain as unnoticed as possible)_. He is a very intelligent wizard, and very responsible for himself and others, trying his best to keep his friends out of trouble. He is an excellent all-rounded student, especially in Astronomy and Charms._

_Potions: __91%_

_Herbology__: 92%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts__: 90% _

_Transfiguration: __91%_

_History of Magic: __92%_

_Astronomy: 94%_

_Charms: 93%_

_Flying: 87%_

**Peter's**** Report, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Peter __Pettigrew is a small yet big-hearted boy, always trying his best to achieve and impress._ (I _do _always try my best! She noticed!) _He greatly admires his friends James Potter and Sirius Black, and has taken up heir love of __Defense Against the Dark Art, which is his best subject. He is quite shy, but nice to all his peers. _(She said I was nice to everyone!)

_Potions: __63%_

_Herbology:__79%_

_Defen__se Against the Dark Arts: 82%_

_Transfiguration: __62%_

_History of Magic: __59%_

_Astronomy: 69%_

_Charms: 71%_

_Flying: 66%_

**Kelsey's**** Report, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Kelsey Maglens is a talkative young woman _(Understatement of the century)_, however she pays attention in the subjects she enjoys most, particularly Astronomy. She also enjoys flying – I can see her in the Gryffindor Quidditch team next year _(YES!)_ – being the energetic witch she is. She always sides with her friends, even is she knows she will get in trouble, showing fierce loyalty – an important Gryffindor characteristic/_

_Potions: __94%_

_Herbology:__ 91%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 89%_

_Transfiguration: __87%_

_History of Magic: __88%_

_Astronomy: 99%_

_Charms: 91%_

_Flying: 99%_

**Savannah's**** Report, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Savannah Groebacke is a skilled witch, especially in Herbology and Transfiguration. She is optimistic in even the hardest of situations, and is always seen smiling. She is greatly respected among the Hogwarts community as a friendly, intelligent witch, and often helps other peers, regardless of their age._ (I notice she didn't mention house – I wouldn't be seen dead helping _them_)

_Potions: __87%_

_Herbology:__110%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 88%_

_Transfiguration: __99%_

_History of Magic: __85%_

_Astronomy: 79%_

_Charms: 91%_

_Flying: 96%_

**Bianca's**** Report, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Bianca Malfin is skilled in Potions and flying, while Defence Against the Dark Arts is one of her weaker subjects_(Oh… I might need to work on that… Gryffindors are supposed to be good at it…)_. She is very determined to get what she wants, and will stop at nothing to get it. She is always nice to all students, making an effort to get to know everyone, despite her late arrival to Hogwarts. _(Yes! My plan is coming along! Mother's going to be so proud!)

_Potions: __99%_

_Herbology:__ 91%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 61%_

_Transfiguration: __83%_

_History of Magic: __89%_

_Astronomy: 92%_

_Charms: 87%_

_Flying: 96%_

**Severus' Report****, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Severus Snape is an intelligent boy, especially at Potions, __but doesn't always seem to fit in fully among his peers. He has made particular friends with Lily Evans, a Gryffindor girl, who he always sticks up for, even though she is muggle-born._ (Teachers notice stuff like that?) _He seems to be the butt of most practical jokes; however he always holds his head up high. _(Of course I do! I'm not going to let Potter and his little 'gang' get the better of me!)

_Potions: __103%_

_Herbology:__ 92%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 73%_

_Transfiguration: __81%_

_History of Magic: __92%_

_Astronomy: 92% _

_Charms: 82%_

_Flying: 73%_

**Avery's Report****, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Aidair Avery believes fully in the concept of pure-bloods being superior to muggle-born, and if often seen picking on some of the muggle-borns in the school._ (That's because they don't deserve to come here! Letting half-bloods in is bad enough!) _He is a skilled wizard, particularly enjoying Potions, Charms and Flying._ (I'm SO on the team next year)

_Potions: __94%_

_Herbology:__ 72%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 81%_

_Transfiguration: __91%_

_History of Magic: __79%_

_Astronomy: 69%_

_Charms: 94%_

_Flying: 96%_

**Mulciber's Report****, First Year – 1971-1972**

_Eugine Mulciber is very into the practical aspects of classes, especially Charms and Transfiguration. _(All the better to curse people with!) _He is also skilled in flying. When he has made close friends he is very loyal to them, and always sticks by them, backing them up and assisting them in class, however he should get used to helping_ other _students in class._ (Like _mudbloods?_ I don't think so)

_Potions: __91%_

_Herbology:__ 71%_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts:__ 81%_

_Transfiguration: __99%_

_History of Magic: __69%_

_Astronomy: 72%_

_Charms: 105%_

_Flying: 98%_


	22. A Book

**Ahhh I'm so sad! This is the last entry where they are at school in 1****st**** year! I didn't realise it was going so quickly… Don't worry there will be one entry at least for each month in the holidays. And I'm so sorry I took so long for this! I had so many assignemnt during the last few weeks of school. But I'm on holidays now so I promise i'll write more!**

Chapter 22- 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Lily****'s Diary, 8:04am 29****th**** June 1972**

I'm so sad now!

It's my last day of Hogwarts!

I've gotten so used to it.

But I'm happy to – because it's Kelsey's birthday.

She finally turned 12.

I got her a muggle book – about witches.

She likes reading almost as much as I do.

She was amazed at what it looked like – it wasn't a scroll!

But she thought it was hilarious that muggles thought witches were like that.

It was about witches from like Medieval Times to nowadays.

She was horrified when it said they were burnt because they thought witches worshipped the devil.

'Burnt! And we do so not worship the devil!' She shouted.

I was laughing so hard.

Then I told her about in muggle fairytales witches were always evil – kidnapping princesses.

The look on her face was priceless.

Sav got her a really pretty jewellery box – for all the jewellery she has.

Or rather, doesn't have, Kelsey doesn't really wear jewellery much.

I think Sav is trying to change her mind.

Haha.

But Bee got her a charm bracelet like I have – the one with all of us on it.

It's just a bit different – all the little silver clasps above the charms had sapphires in them, not emeralds.

How does she afford all this!?

It's amazing!

I feel really bad that I couldn't get anyone stuff like that…

Sav's birthday's in August though.

The 12th.

We're all going to Kelsey's place on that day to-

Whoops.

That's supposed to be a surprise.

I can't even tell _you_ diary.

That's how secret it is.

But you will know soon enough.

But I'm excited to go home.

We're all packing today and tomorrow morning we're going to catch the train at 11 again.

I know Potter he's probably going to owl me every day, but hopefully when I ignore it he'll forget about it.

But I'm going to owl Kelsey, Sav and Bee practically every week.

And Remus once or twice.

And Sev, of course, but I could always just go see him.

I should talk to him about what Avery said… that word mudblood.

What does it mean?

I asked my friends, but they all changed the subject really quickly.

But I know it's bad, because as soon as he said it Sav and Kelsey had there wands out and he started growing these green tentacles all over his face.

He's still in the hospital wing.

Even Sev looked horrified when he said it.

But maybe I'll owl him about it.

Oh wait.

I don't have an owl.

Whoops.

But I'll use Potters.

When he owls me I'll use his owl… Hermes is it? … To send them to my friends.

He won't know.

Mum and Dad say they can't wait for me to get home.

Not so sure about Tuney.

They didn't mention her.

But Jessie is excited too.

Even though he has never been home.

Oh, Jessie's the kitten I got for my birthday.

I forgot I never told you that.

He's so _cute!_

Once he even bit Potter for me!

It's his finest hour so far.

Well, Potter picked him up and was scratching him on the top of his head (he _hates_ that– he prefers behind his ears or under his chin) and I told James to put him down and he wouldn't, but then Jessie bit him.

It was so good.

Oh, I have to go now.

I have to keep packing or I won't get everything in on time.

Love, _**Lily.**_

**_* * * *_**

**Severus'**** Diary, 12:54pm 29****th**** June 1972**

My friends are all out at the lake or something; they've finished packing; so I thought I'd write now.

It's the last day of Hogwarts for 2 months.

I'm so sad.

Hogwarts has become like my home!

Oh well.

Maybe Lily will let me stay at her place for a bit.

I don't want to have to listen to Mum and Dad fighting more than I have too.

Oh, maybe we could go… _camping?_

That muggle thing where they sleep outside?

Lily told me about that.

Maybe I could go with her when she goes this year!

She told me she goes every year with her family.

I'm so jealous.

Why can't _my _family do something like that?

Be a _real_ family, not just people who live in the same house and scream at each other.

My dad always shouts.

He's never happy at anything much.

He sits around all day doing nothing but shouting at my mum to bring him another beer.

He never notices me.

He hates the fact that I'm like my mum.

A 'weirdo' he calls me.

But oh well.

Probably heaps of parents are like that.

You have to learn to live with it.

But Lily said she couldn't come see me today.

It was her friend Kelsey's birthday.

She said she'd sit with me a bit on the train if I wanted, but I told her I had to sit with my friends, and if she came in they would laugh at her.

So then she asked if _I_ wanted to come sit in _her _carriage with her friends for a while.

She wants me to come sit with her!

I definitely will.

But I'm so excited to see who wins the house cup.

Slytherin won Quidditch this year!

You should've seen the look on Potter's face when Dirich caught the snitch instead of the Gryffindor seeker!

He said that next year _he _was going to be on the team as a seeker, so they'd win next year.

Then he saw me and I was sent hopping to the hospital wing after the leg lock curse.

He was carried in two minutes later by his friends.

Lily had put the _full_ body bind curse on him.

She's so awesome.

But I have to go now.

My friends are coming back, and if they see me with this I am dead.

And I can't even tell Avery not to call Lily a mudblood.

He called her a mudblood!

She's not!

Well, _technically_ she is, but not the rude way like it means!

She's just muggle-born.

_Mudbloods_ are for like stupid, mean people who are just not cool.

But Lily's not.

She's amazing.

She should be a pure blood.

She's so smart.

I always thought muggle-borns were stupid.

But then I met Lily…

Later, **Sev.**

*** * * ***

**Kelsey's**** Diary, 12:54pm 29****th**** June 1972**

It's my birthday today!

I'm 12 now!

Lily gave me this _weird_ book, all about what Muggles thought of witches!

Apparently they were _evil._

Well, I don't know where they got _that _from, but it's certainly _not_ true.

Well maybe _some _are.

There is knowledge of many evil wizards over the centuries, like in 1918 that wizard who was said to have caused the Spanish Influenza.

Well that's what the muggles thought it was.

But anyway.

Bee gave me a bracelet like Lily's.

She's so _nice_!

We're like really close now.

And Sav gave me a really pretty jewellery box, covered in shells.

Even though I don't have much jewellery.

Maybe mum and dad will get me some for my birthday.

But I also got another present.

I didn't tell anyone about it.

It was a book.

I was a bit surprised at first.

Especially when I opened it and it was empty.

But it was a really beautiful book.

It's bound in leather, and has like gold leaf on it in really pretty swirls.

I wonder what it's for.

But inside it had a note.

_Kelsey,_

_I know you love reading, but this is a different type of book._

_It'll show you what ever you want to see._

_Don't ask where I got it – I'm not going to tell you._

_But it's yours now._

_Happy Birthday._

It wasn't signed.

So I don't know who it's from.

But I think I have a vague idea…

But I'm not going to use it now.

I'll put it aside for later,

I told everyone they should come over for a sleepover at my place during the holidays.

Sav seemed to really like that idea.

Bee thought it was great too, and Lily wondered if they should have it at _her _place instead, because she didn't want to put so much pressure on me.

Lily's so nice.

She never wants to make anyone upset.

Well, except Potter.

She doesn't mind annoying _him_.

But I told her it would be fine at my place, so they're all coming over on the 12th of August.

Sav seemed a bit upset and asked 'Isn't there something else on that day that might clash?'

But we all pretended we had forgotten it was her birthday that day.

It'll be a surprise party.

We'll have a vanilla cake shaped like a star and it'll have yellow icing with heaps like edible shiny stuff on it.

Like those little balls that are like sugar on the inside and silver on the outside?

I love those.

But anyway.

I have no idea why I wrote that.

Continuing.

I can't wait until next year.

Quidditch Trials!

I'm _so_ going to be a chaser.

And I'm going to 'accidentally' knock that jerk _Avery _off his broom!

He called Lily a _mudblood_.

He called her a _mudblood!_

How _dare_ he!

He can't go around calling people mudb-names like that!

Well, I guess physically he could, since he has like a voice and everything, but it's so not cool!

If he ever tries it again he'll be in the Hospital wing for a week.

Seriously.

I think Sirius wants to be in the team too.

As a beater.

He'd make a great beater I recon.

But I don't see why Lily hates Sirius and James so much.

I mean, yea they pick on Snape but he's a _Slytherin_.

And I mean his friends are just _evil_.

But even if James is a jerk, Sirius is nice.

He'll pick on people sometimes, but he's really nice to me.

Well, ok, maybe he'll pick on people a lot, but still, he's actually quite kind under that whole 'I'm too cool to even look at you' thing.

But Lily doesn't like him so I don't either.

A bit.

Ok, well mostly I just pretend to hate him, but that's not important.

If he _actually _did something to Lily, I would hate him, but all he's done is pick on Snape so I guess that's kind of ok…?

But I'll really miss Hogwarts.

And I'll miss tricking Sir Cadigan into thinking that some other portrait has challenged him to a duel, and then watching as he strides into like a tea-party or something, draw his sword, then fall off him horse head first.

And I can't believe I've finished my first year at Hogwarts already.

It hasn't really sunk in yet.

Next year I won't be the newbie any more.

We can sit and giggle at all the cute little first years when they get lost.

*sigh*

It seems like yesterday.

But I should go now.

Lily, Sav and Bee are going to the lake so I'm going to go with them.

I'll write in the holidays.

Later, _**Kelsey.**_

* * *

**Haha I just realised our last day of school was on the same day! I'm so excited to be on holidays. Reviews please!**


	23. Camping Part One

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Ok this is the first entry in the holidays! There'll be about 2 or 3… depends on how many ideas ****I get. **

**Oh, and I realised I never put a disclaimer on this. So, I don't own any of the characters you recognise. However, I do own most of the ideas in this. If you recognise anything, I don't own it.**

Chapter 23 1st Year at Hogwarts

**James' Diary 10****:46am 9****th**** July 1972**

It's Peter's birthday today.

When everyone is here we're going to have lunch then go camping.

My house is like a castle.

Seriously the only thing we're missing is a moat.

We even have a Quidditch pitch!

Of course, I have a Nimbus 1001.

The best model out, although I hear a new Nimbus 1500 is coming out soon…

I'm so trying out for the Quidditch team next year.

So Remus said camping was really fun, as he went with his parents one year.

His Dad is muggle-born and said he went camping as a child and took Remus a couple of times, so he said we should all go for Peter's birthday.

I don't see what is so appealing about sleeping on the floor in tents, but it seems ok.

I got him a whole bag of Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bots Every Flavored Beans, Liquorish Wands and heaps of other lollies.

And… stink-bombs.

Well, he needs a new supply!

We all must have a 20-bomb supply at all times.

At least.

I have about 100 in my draw…

But I wish I could take my broom with me camping.

But there might be muggles, so I can't.

I'll make the _best_ chaser for the team next year.

Maybe I could impress Lily a bit too…

Wait where did that come from?

I _don't_ need to impress Lily Evans.

So what if she's the only girl in the year who doesn't like me!

That's her problem.

And Sirius is so going to be a beater.

I'd love to see him knock someone out…

Remus and Peter aren't going to try out though.

Remus said he wasn't really the person to my Quidditch.

He's more of a stay-on-firm-ground type person.

And Peter said he might try out…

I think we're going to convince him not to, to save him the embarrassment.

No offense to him, but he's not the best on a broomstick.

But anyway.

Remus has been writing to me like every week, except that first week of the holidays.

Which is weird because he _always_ writes during the holidays.

But now that I think about it occasionally he misses a week.

Not often, only around once a month.

Actually he's weird once a month anyway.

Haha PMS much?

But seriously, I think there might be something up.

Maybe I'll talk to him about it…

I've sent a couple of letters to Lily.

She sent them all back without answering.

Except the 5th one, where she wrote on the bottom of the parchment:

_Potter,_

_I don't think you really get the reason I'm sending the letters back._

_I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. TALK. TO. YOU._

_Got it?_

_Evans._

Well.

At least she replied.

And signed her name at the bottom.

Even if it is only her last name.

I saw the 'I do not want to talk to you' bit so I sent an owl saying 'Does that mean you want to write to me instead?'

So she sent:

_Potter,_

_STOP. OWLING. ME._

_I do not want to communicate with you at all so stop trying!_

_I know you are not sorry so stop saying you are._

_If you were really sorry you'd stop bullying Sev!_

_So LEAVE ME ALONE._

She didn't sign it that time.

And even _I_ know when to leave it.

So I didn't write back.

Even though I really _am_ sorry.

It's just too funny to stop pranking Snivellus.

I didn't think she'd be so mad at me!

Well, _yes_ I did make her best friend (who _totally_ does not deserve to even talk to her) pronounce his never-dying love for her.

And probably embarrass her in front of the whole school.

And embarrass her best friend in front of the whole school.

But if it were any other girl she would ditch the friend and laugh at him just because _I'm_ the one hexing him!

What is it about Lily that makes her hate me so much?

Her friend pretend to hate me too, but I can see they don't.

They only pretend to make Lily happy.

Since they're not actually friends with Snivellus, they only really got mad at me making Lily embarrassed.

And I can tell Kelsey is definitely into Sirius.

She just doesn't know it yet.

Ha.

But I should go now.

They're coming over soon.

See ya, **James.**

* * * *

**Lily****'s Diary 2:22pm 9****th**** July 1972**

Ha ha make a wish!

Well I'm sitting under a tall oak tree, waiting for my friends to arrive.

I invited then to come to my annual camping trip – Tuney got to take some friends so Mum and Daddy said I could bring some too.

I think they're all arriving together.

But Daddy wasn't sure whether Mum should come or not.

Oh, I forgot to say!

Mum's pregnant!

I came home from Hogwarts and she told me she was 4 months pregnant!

She wanted to tell me in person instead of owling.

I'm so excited.

I'm going to be a big sister!

I know it's quite a big age difference, but Mum and Daddy say they don't mind.

They say they think it's the perfect time.

I'm off at school and Tuney's old enough to look after herself a bit, so they can focus more on the baby.

I think its going to be a boy.

I think they should name him Taylor.

It's such a cute name!

I can't get over my excitement.

In about 5 months, I'm going to be a big sister!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok well I'm probably boring you out of your mind so I'll change the subject now.

I love this camping spot – it's right next to the woods, and since we come here every year Daddy says I can explore it by myself, because I know it so well; as long as I take a compass with me.

I'm going to take Kelsey, Sav and Bee to the waterfall I found when I was 9.

No one else knows about it – I found it when I was exploring by myself (I wasn't allowed to then, but I was perfectly fine. Mum and Daddy shouldn't have worried as much as they did).

Sometimes I even see flashes of bright scales in the water – I think it is very deep.

Once I swear I even saw a _face_, but I think it was just my imagination.

Of course, now that Witches and Wizards turn out to be real, maybe mermaids are too…

I never even told Tuney about it.

I don't think I can now…

Sometimes I wish I wasn't a witch.

It would mean Tuney and I wouldn't fight, and we'd still be best friends.

Yes we'd fight sometimes, but we'd always resolve them.

Even though she's my sister we were still best friends.

Now she barely talks to me…

She pretends I'm not even in the room, and doesn't even look at me unless she has to.

And now that she's a teenager I'm even more 'uncool'.

She'll bring home friends of hers and they sit down and put on make up and talk about boys.

She's already had like 17 boyfriends.

The longest one lasted a month.

She's only 14!

Well, I suppose that is _quite_ a bit older than me.

But still, she shouldn't be bringing home a different boy every week!

She shouldn't lock herself in her room for hours with her friends, piling make-up on themselves and going out at 9 o'clock at night.

I don't even know where they go off too.

I don't even know _her_ anymore.

*sigh*

But oh well.

All good things must come to an end.

And I have awesome friends anyway.

Kelsey, Sav and Bee are so nice!

Kelsey is the only other person in our group that likes reading as much as me.

Maybe even more!

I know I can talk to her about anything.

Any ideas I need, any advice I need, I know I can rely on her.

She's like a second sister.

Sav too.

She's my study-buddy.

I know when I need a good girls-night; she's the one to go to.

She can make a night of chick-flicks, nail polish and doing each others hair _fun_, and that's saying something.

And Bee…

Well there's something about her that immediately makes you want to be her friend, that draws you to her.

And as open and talkative as she is (seriously, it's like she never shuts up. But that's kinda nice.), I think she's hiding something.

There's something not quite… I don't really know the word for it.

But we all have secrets.

If she has something she doesn't want to tell us, that's fine.

She can tell us when she's ready.

I'd want that if she were me.

Oh, I can see them!

Well, I think it's them.

I can see three figures carrying luggage.

It must be them!

I'd better go n-

Oh Merlin.

There are other people too.

To the left of them, setting up a tent, are four other figures.

Four _boy_ figures.

To be exact, Potter, Black, Remus and Peter.

Oh Merlin.

This summer is going to be _very_ interesting.

_**Lily.**_

* * * *

**Severus' Diary 3:13p****m 9****th**** July 1972**

Well it's holidays!

Fun…

I prefer school.

I mean, I know everyone loves the summer holidays; they can go home and get presents from their parents, fly around on their broom, play with friends, anything they want.

I don't get any of those things.

Except playing with friends.

One friend.

My best friend.

Lily.

But when I come home my parents don't rush up to me and give me a hug and a cookie and say 'welcome home Sev!'

No.

They pretty much just ignore me unless they want something or need to criticize me.

Well, mainly Dad.

Mum is nicer to me.

Sometimes she smiles at me.

Or even pats me on the head if I do something good.

Dad just… well he doesn't like anything much.

And we don't have enough money to buy a broom.

I'm ok at flying, not the best, but definitely not the worst.

I mean, Nigel Greenweld failed flying, so I can't be _that_ bad.

Then again, he is a Hufflepuff…

But anyway.

The best thing about the holidays is being allowed to play with Lily.

My friends aren't here to stop me, and they'll never know.

Lily and I talk almost every day.

I love our chats.

We can sit and talk for hours without getting bored.

And I'm so happy she chooses _me _to sit and talk to!

_Me!_

But not at the moment.

She's away, camping at the moment.

With her other friends.

Kelsey, Savannah and Bianca.

They're… nice… for Gryffindors.

Well they must be, they're friends with Lily.

And as long as they're Lily's friends, I'm going to try and stay clear of them.

So my group doesn't decide to hex them or curse them or anything.

But I don't think they will.

Savannah and Bianca _are_ pure-bloods after all.

But I wish I was there camping with Lily too.

I have nothing to do all day now.

I don't want to stay home and listen to my Dad screaming about everything, but there's nothing to do out.

So now I just sit under the tree where Lily and I talk and think about stuff.

And write in my dia-JORNAL.

Write in my journal.

I'm so excited for 2nd year.

There's no more flying, but we do more potions, which is fun.

Except when Potter and Black are sitting behind me chucking porcupine quills into my cauldron.

But that's not the point.

Well I haven't got any owls yet.

Even from Avery or Mulciber.

But I suppose they're to busy to owl me.

They seem to have a very busy life.

But I should go.

Mum will probably want me home for dinner.

Bye, Sev.

* * * *

**Peter's Diary ****10:56pm 9****th**** July 1972**

It's my birthday today!

I'm the youngest in my group.

But Remus said we should go camping for my party, so, here we are.

It's really pretty.

We had a choice of camping in this really big clearing area next to the forest or in the forest, so we chose next to it.

After a while we managed to get the tent up.

Muggles are sometimes really clever – I saw some set up a tent in less than five minutes!

That amazes me.

So after we set up the tent, we all sat inside and opened my presents.

James gave me heaps of lollies, and some stink-bombs.

I ran out during the school year.

Remus gave me this homework planner (_bor-ing!) _and a camera.

_That_ was a cool present.

The first picture that was taken is all of us sitting in the tent, surrounded by my presents.

Well, not surrounded.

But with presents in front of us.

Sirius gave me a book on Herbology, because he knows that I like Herbology almost as much as DADA.

Well, it _looked _like a book about Herbology.

There were _some_ chapters of proper Herbology.

Mostly it was just what plants did what to other people.

Like for pranks.

For example, if you mix Bubotuber Pus with Alihotsy and put it in someone's drink, it makes them covered with boils that they can't see or feel, and they go absolutely hyper.

But it says you _have _to make sure you mix enough Alihotsy, otherwise the Bubotuber Pus can have some _very _bad effects.

So _that's _what happened to Snape on the last day of school.

But anyway.

That's not what I decided to write about.

What I'm writing about is what happened today.

And I _know_ it's late.

You don't have to tell me.

But I have to write it down now.

And it's going to be _very _long, so you're going to have to put up with the whole thing.

So, today at around 3:00 we saw four girls sitting around a campfire place (it wasn't lit though), talking among themselves.

They looked very familiar.

Well I just realized this is going to be very hard to write in first person (Ha I know what that is! I feel so smart, like Remus!) So I'm going to write this in third person (Ha I know what that is too!)

It'll make me feel like an author, ha.

So, here I go.

'Hey, those girls look familiar…' Sirius said to James. 'I _swear_ we know them from somewhere.'

James looked harder at them.

'Well, of course they do, seeing as they go to _our school_. Seriously Sirius, you must have the worst memory. And _don't_ use your 'serious' joke. That got old last year'

Sirius, probably about to use his 'serious' joke, went from smiling to concentration as he looked at the girls again.

'Hey isn't that Kelsey?' he said. 'And Lily, Savannah and Bee?'

Remus looked too.

'Hey, it is!' he said. 'I'm going to go say hi.' He walked off, but then turned around again and looked at James who was following him.

'Um, James, you might not want to come. Lily kind of hates you, in case you've forgotten.'

James rolled his eyes.

'Well, too bad. She'll put up with me' He started walking, and Sirius, Remus and Peter (me) followed him. (It feels weird writing about myself as 'Peter' instead of me. Oh well. I'll put up with it)

We walked up to the girls, and James went around the back of Lily, sat down on the log next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

'Hey, Lily-flower! Fancy running into you here!'

Lily jumped at the contact, then, realizing it was James, said coldly

'I don't know what you're doing here Potter but get your arm off me or I'll make you.'

She tried to shrug it off, but he held on tighter, saying

'Now now, Lily, don't be mean. I'm just being friendly! And anyway, you can't use magic here so there' nothing you can really do to stop- OW!'

His arm sprang off her as she jammed her thumb into the inside of his upper arm.

'I repeat – get your arm off me.' Lily glared at him, and moved over as far away from him as she could without falling off the log.

By this time Sirius had seated himself next to Kelsey, Remus next to Savannah and Peter (ok it's going into first person again! This is too weird!) sat down, rather shyly, next to Bianca.

'So, what are you doing here? It's a bit of a coincidence running into you guys here.' Kelsey asked, probably trying to ease the tension a bit.

Remus answered.

'Well, it's Peter's birthday today, so we decided to come camping. I'd been here before once or twice, and I thought this would be a great place. So here we are! What are you guys doing here?'

Bianca smiled.

'Well, Lily said she comes here every year for the summer holidays, and this year she invited us to come with her. I've never been camping before, so this should be fun! We're actually just about to go exploring in the woods, do you want to come with us?'

I could see Lily furiously shaking her head at Bee as she said this, but it was too late.

'Of course we'd like to come with you! We'll just get some of our stuff. We'll meet you back here in 5!' Sirius told them, and stood up to leave.

We all stood up and followed him back to the tent.

'What are you doing Sirius! Obviously Lily didn't want us to come along! Go back and say that we're busy!' Remus hissed at Sirius, who was grinning.

'That's the point! Lily-flower is going to realize how awesome we all are and stop hating us! It's a rather ingenious plan if you ask me.'

He hi-fived James as he stepped into the tent.

'Go Sirius! You're a genius.' James praised Sirius, and went to change his clothes into something more appropriate for trekking in the forest.

He pulled on a light green t-shirt, with some brand name on the front, and some blue shorts that went to about his shins.

Sirius pulled on a blue shirt and a pair of jeans (I'm pretty he borrowed them from James – I don't think his mum really buys him any muggle clothes).

Remus stayed in what he was already wearing – a long sleeved white button up shirt (apparently his mother is quite proper) but he undid the top two buttons so it looked casual.

Then he rolled the sleeves up so it was between his elbow and his shoulder.

He was also wearing jeans.

I saw James and Sirius changing so I decided to change too, even though what I was wearing would've been fine.

I pulled on a purple shirt of mine but kept my black ¾ length pants.

In five minutes we were ready, and putting our wands into our pockets, walked outside to where the girls were waiting.

Lily was wearing a white button up shirt like Remus, but it was a lot more casual than his was, even with the top buttons undone, and it was short sleeved.

She was wearing khaki shorts that went to above her knees, and she has one of those fancy compasses on a string around her neck.

Kelsey had a blue singlet on with like a pattern of flowers on it, and was wearing ¾ length jeans too.

Savannah had white short shorts on, and was wearing a yellow singlet with flowers on it.

I think maybe Kelsey and Savannah got their shirts at the same shop.

And Bee…

Well I'm not sure if she's ever been walking through the forest before.

She was wearing a skirt that started off white and turned purple at the bottom.

It went to around just above her knee.

She was wearing a purple V-neck top as well.

Her hair was pulled up into a half-ponytail, with a clip shaped like a star.

I think she was even wearing _make-up_ as well.

We stood there for about a minute in awkward silence, until Remus stepped forward and asked, 'So, we ready?'

Lily smiled at him and said, 'Sure, this way.'

She walked into the trees, and James ran a bit to walk beside her.

I think he may have been trying to be nice to her.

Kelsey skipped up to walk next to Lily, and Sirius realized he should probably walk too.

He ran up quickly and walked just behind Kelsey, and she slowed down so they could talk.

I'm not sure whether he did that so James could talk to Lily alone, or so he could talk to Kelsey alone.

Savannah started a conversation with Remus as they walked behind Sirius and Kelsey.

I kind of awkwardly walked behind them, but Bee and skipped next to me and started asking me about my life.

She chose to talk to me instead of James or Sirius!

I felt so special.

But I should really go now.

The torch is running out of battery.

See ya, **Peter.**


	24. Camping Part 2

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**This is still the 9****th**** of July! I had to put it in more than one part to fit everything in! And yes, they are all writing at the same time, I know that. It was the only way I could think of to fit it all in.**

**Again:**** I don't own any of the characters you recognise. However, I do own most of the ideas in this. If you recognise anything, I don't own it.**

Chapter 23 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Bianca's Diar****y 10:46pm 9****th**** July 1972**

Today was very interesting.

Lily invited us all camping, and we ran into the boys.

James, Black (that traitor!), Remus and Peter.

Lily decided to take us all for a walk in the woods, so we got ready (in hindsight, wearing a skirt probably _wasn't_ the best idea) and started walking.

But then we did something stupid.

_Really_ stupid.

I don't even know why we did it.

But we stopped in this little clearing area to catch our breath, and Savannah said 'Why don't we play hide and seek! We wont go far, we can always stay in sight of the clearing, so we wont get lost!'

'But I wanted to show you guys something…' Lily tried to say, but Black ignored her and said, 'Yea, that's a really good idea! Let's go in teams. Girl-Boy teams. I'll go with Kelsey.'

He smiled at her, and then turned back to the rest of us.

Me, being the perfect little girl I am, said 'I'll go with Peter!'

He looked at me, surprised, as if he couldn't believe I'd choose him over Black or James.

Everyone else looked a bit surprised too, but then James said, 'Lily-flower and I will be partners!' and put his arm over her shoulders.

Before 'Lily-flower' had time to object, Remus said 'And I'll go with Savannah. We'll start counting. You have 40 seconds!'

'But-!' Lily tried to break in, but Savannah walked over to Remus and they started counting.

James tugged on Lily's arm, and they vanished out of the clearing.

I grabbed Peters hand (I'm being good, I'm being good, I'm being g- ok you get the idea) and I dragged him north and we hid behind a tree, just in sight of Remus and Savannah.

'Bee…?' Peter asked.

_Oh Merlin_ I thought _I'm being good I'm being good! Don't blow it!_

'Yes Peter?' I replied in an angelic voice.

'Well, I was- I was just thinking, about why, um, why you wanted to go with me? James hadn't said he was going with Lily yet, you could've gone with him. Why did you choose, _me?_'

Oh _Merlin._

This had better be good.

'Well, why would I choose James? You're nice, I like talking to you. What's so special about James that would make me choose him over you? I just like you better' _*lie lie lie!*_

_Phew._

_I'm glad that's over._ I thought, but then:

'But, I mean-' Peter tried to say, but I cut him off.

'Shhh, they're coming!' I squealed, and went a couple of trees back.

I could hear voices coming towards us, do I went back a few more trees and whispered to Peter, 'Right, quickly climb the tree!'

He looked shocked, but did as I told him.

As Peter scrambled up onto a branch, I lifted my foot and placed it on the lowest branch.

I stepped up again, and then I lifted my other foot and I was just about to put it on the branch above it when I slipped.

Immediately Peters hand grabbed my wrist.

I was dangling from the tree, one arm around the thick, brown branch I had been going to step on and the other hand holding Peter's.

We both froze for a moment, and then Peter tugged on my hand.

He pulled me up enough for me to put a foot on the branch, and I climbed up a bit more to sit next to Peter.

'Thank you Peter.' I whispered. 'You saved my life.' (Well, not _really, _I might just have broken my leg or something. I just wanted to make Peter feel like a hero.)

He looked shocked for a moment, and then he smiled at me (clearly trying to copy one of James or Black's grin).

'Well.' He said, trying to be confident. 'You really shouldn't wear a skirt while tree-climbing.'

I giggled, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek and started climbing again.

We had both gotten onto a particularly high branch, when I saw Remus and Savannah come into view.

We both froze, until they walked off in the opposite direction.

We waited for about 5 minutes before we started talking again, sure that they were out of earshot and another 5 before we climbed down again.

That's when I realized.

We couldn't see the clearing any more.

'Um, Peter?' I asked in a trying-to-sound-calm voice. 'Do you remember which way they walked off?'

'No.' was his highly detailed response, and then he realized what I had a few seconds ago. 'Where's the clearing!?'

At this I thought a bit.

I could try and take charge, or I could play the whole scared damsel in distress thing to make him try and 'protect' me.

'Peter? I'm scared. What's going to happen?' I tried to look frightened, and I could see Peter trying to get over his fright and look brave.

'Well.' He said, trying to sound fearless. 'I guess we'll just have to try and find our way out. Let's try this way.' He pointed in a certain direction.

'O-ok.' I stammered, and grabbed his arm.

We started walking slowly.

After around 10 minutes of walking, I could hear running water.

It seems Peter could hear it too.

'Can you hear that Bee? If we follow it we'll end up next to the river near the campsite. Let's go!'

He tugged on my arm, and I allowed myself to be pulled along.

But as the water grew louder, there was a growing feeling of unease growing inside me.

We were almost at the source when I suddenly stopped.

'What's wrong Bee? We're almost there!' Peter asked.

'I-I can't.' I panted, as if I had run all the way here. 'I just can't. I have a really bad feeling. Let's go this way instead.'

I turned to the right and started walking that way, slowly getting further and further away from the noise.

'Wait up Bee!' Peter came running up behind me. 'What was wrong? We could've followed the river!'

'I-I, um…' I tried to think of a plausible reason.

'I had a really bad feeling about that place.' I hoped that would be enough to satisfy him, but no, he questioned on.

'But, really it can't have been _that_ bad. We could've gotten back to the tent!'

'Well…' I tried to sound kind of uneasy, while really just trying to think of a good reason.

Then I got one

'I'm scared of water.' I tried to sound embarrassed. 'I can't swim. Ever since I was a little girl and I fell into a river, I've always been scared. I almost drowned. Now I can't stand to be near water.' I ended my speech by sitting down and bursting into tears, a good touch.

Peter looked absolutely mortified to have prompted this, so he awkwardly patted me on the arm and said 'I'm sorry Bee. If I had known I never would've tried to go that way. We can try this way.'

He took my hand and pulled me back to a standing position.

We walked for a while in complete silence, but then…

'Peter! Can you see that?' I practically shouted. 'The clearing! I see it! Let's hurry!'

I tugged on his arm, and soon we were both running towards the space in the trees.

We burst through the last of the trees, and almost fell on top of Remus and Sav, who were sitting opposite each other looking very serious.

'We found you!' Peter and I yelled at the same time.

They looked shocked at first, then relived.

'Thank God! You were missing for over an hour! We were beginning to think we needed to get Lily's dad!'

Peter and I looked at each other, stunned.

An _hour_?

'Where are the others?' I asked. 'Sirius, Kelsey, James and Lily? Aren't they back yet?'

Sav and Remus shook their heads.

'Not yet.' Sav said. 'You're the first. But we'll stay here and wait for them.'

But I should really go now.

We're about to turn the torch off.

Bella's going to be so proud of me.

I think I really got through to Peter today.

Love, Bee.

* * * *

**Remus****' Diary 10:39pm 9****th**** July 1972**

I can't believe what happened today.

We were so _stupid!_

I, for one should've known better.

I should've stopped them.

But no, I decided to play along with their game, and me and Sav walked over to a tall, leafy green tree in the centre of the clearing and started counting to 40 as the rest of them hid.

Well actually it was more like a minute, we didn't actually count we just talked until we thought it was long enough to start seeking.

We went of in the direction we thought we had heard footsteps go, so we stepped through the leaves on the forest floor.

Sav and I just chatted while we walked, and we thought we heard someone, but then realized we couldn't see the clearing anymore.

We turned around and went back the other way, and soon we saw the clearing again.

No one could've been out that far – if they had got confused of the direction they would've got lost.

We went and stood back in the middle of the clearing, deciding which direction to search next.

Sav suggested we should go right, so we walked slowly, searching behind trees, until we were _just_ out of sight of the clearing.

Not wanting to go too much further, we turned back, by this time getting worried.

'Where is everyone? We should've spotted at least _one_ person by now!' Sav asked me, and I nodded back.

'I think we should go in a circle, just in sight of the clearing. Just to make sure no one is hiding behind trees or anything.' I suggested.

She nodded. 'Ok. Let's stick together. I don't want to get lost by myself in this forest.'

I smiled a (what I hoped was) reassuring smile, and took her hand (not like _that_ diary! Just like friends. Anyway, she wouldn't like me. She _shouldn't_ like me. I'm a monster).

We walked out of the clearing and made a huge circle around it, but finding nothing.

It was silent as we walked; the only sound was the crunching of leaves beneath our feet, and sometimes the twitter of birds, or flapping wings.

You could see little beams of light bursting through the trees, creating speckled patterns on the ground.

I love the daytime.

Nothing bad comes out then.

It's the night when bad things come out.

Things like vampires and were-

'Remus?' Sav asked, breaking through my reverie.

I shook my head, as if to send away my previous thoughts.

'Yes Sav?' I replied, cautious.

'What if we can't find anyone?' She was almost trembling. 'What if they've all wandered off and gotten lost? Or ran back to the tent, and are laughing at us for being to gullible? Or what if-'

'None of those things have happened or are going to happen.' I told her firmly. 'They've just hidden really well. If we go back and sit in the clearing, they'll get bored and come back. You'll see.'

I squeezed her hand reassuringly, and we went back and sat in the clearing.

It was a lot lighter in the clearing, as there were no trees to block it.

We sat under the only tree in, the same tree under which we had counted.

For a while it was silent, and we listened to the sound of the birds tweeting and flapping around us, the quiet sound of us breathing.

I realized this is why I couldn't tell anyone about my affliction.

They'd never talk to me again.

They'd look at me like a monster, something evil, and never want to even look at me again.

Or worse, they'd tell the school.

Rumors would go round.

'Oh look, there's _Lupin_, the werewolf. Don't make eye contact or he might come after you next full moon.' People would say as I passed them in the corridor.

It would be humiliating.

Maybe I would even-

'Remus?' Sav stopped me again. 'Are you ok? You look… well you look terrified. Is something bothering you?'

I stopped my daydream abruptly.

No, nothing was wrong.

Nothing would ever _be_ wrong, as no one would ever know the truth.

But I have to go now.

Bye, _**Remus.**_

**_* * * *_**

**Savannah's Diary 10:44p****m 9****th**** July 1972**

I can't believe it.

I was _so _close to spilling my secret it's not funny.

I mean, I was literally seconds away from my entire life being destroyed.

If people knew about me, about my _family_, I don't know what would happen.

People would hate me forever.

Lily, Kelsey and Bee would never talk to me again.

I'd be their ex-best friend.

Even Remus would hate me, and he's the most accepting person I know.

But he seemed to understand!

Just looking into his big, brown eyes made me want to pour out my soul, made me want to tell him all my secrets, all my troubles, because I knew he could help.

He would understand, empathize, and still accept me no matter what I was.

But that's why I've learnt not to trust my brain.

It can make you so sure of something, only to fall hard when you find out it isn't true.

But by then it's too late.

So I've guarded what I say carefully, no one will ever even get a hint of the truth.

Like Remus almost did.

But you're probably wondering what I'm talking about.

Today Lily, Kelsey, Bee and I went camping.

Lily invited us all.

And guess what?

We ran into James, Sirius, Remus and Peter.

Then we decided to play a game of Hide and Seek in the woods, which was _so_ clever. *Note Sarcasm*

Remus and I were counting, and after a while of trying to find everyone, we went and sat under the tree and talked.

I noticed he looked sad.

Well, he looked more than sad.

He looked positively frightened.

I asked him if anything was wrong, but he quickly denied it and asked how I was.

'I'm pretty good' I replied. 'Although Aunty Jessica will get worried if I don't owl her tonight. And I might not be able to, considering we're stuck in the woods and the only person who knows how to get us out seems to be lost.'

I didn't notice my mistake until Remus replied.

'Aunty Jessica? Do you live with your Aunt or something?'

I can't believe I told him that!

I hadn't even told Lily, Kelsey or Bee!

'Um, yea I do. And my Uncle Ben. They're both witches and wizards' I said cautiously.

'What happened to your parents?' Remus asked, and then checked himself. 'Oh, I mean, why don't you live with them? But if I'm being rude you don't have to reply. Sorry if I'm messing with your personal life.'

The polite me immediately said, 'Oh, no, not at all.'

Then I realized I'd now have to go into the subject.

I took a deep breath. 'My mother died when I was a baby. My dad… My dad doesn't exist anymore.'

It wasn't until I looked up I realized my eyes were watering.

'Sav I'm so sorry. I didn't know. If I had known your parents were dead I never would've brought up-' Remus tried to apologize, but I cut him off.

'Oh my dad isn't dead. He's very much alive. Just to me, he doesn't exist. I would rather have no father at all. But what about your family? Tell me about your life.'

It was probably an obvious change of subject, but Remus went along with it anyway.

'My mum's a witch, and my dad's a muggle. I don't have any brothers or sisters, but I have a cousin who's a muggle. I don't really talk with my mum's family much.'

My brow creased. 'Why not?' I asked him.

'Um… when I was little I did something they didn't like. They've probably written my out of their wills for that. But I don't really mind. My Grandparents are very strict, and I didn't really like their visits much.'

I could tell there was more to the subject but I didn't press it

'Oh. Well I'm an only child too.' I said. _Except for all the other kids my dad made_.

He nodded, and then asked, 'So, why was it that you don't talk to your dad?'

I was about to snap at him and tell him to mind his own business, but then I saw his eyes.

The warmth in them almost made my brain stop.

Remus didn't want to know just because he was being nosy.

He actually wanted to help.

I opened my mouth, and said, 'Because he's a-'

But at that moment Bee and Peter came crashing through the trees and landed almost on top of us.

I shut my mouth abruptly, and smiled at them.

On the inside, I was appalled.

I had almost spilled my secret, just because some guy had kind eyes.

I feel so stupid.

But I should go now.

Later, _**Sav.**_

**_* * * *_**

**Sirius' Diary 10:51p****m 9****th**** July 1972**

Even with today's stupidness, I still feel that it was a success.

Partially.

I mean, it was pretty awesome coming camping for Peter's birthday to find Kelsey here too, but to spend a full hour and a half with her?

That was better than I hoped for.

Well, even if I did spend half an hour of that unconscious.

But I know what you're thinking.

Me, happy to spend an hour with Kelsey?

Yes, well, you guessed it.

I, Sirius Orion Black, like Kelsey Maglens.

My mother would kill me.

_One of the noble Black family, liking a mere half-blood!? Nonsense! I'll hear nothing of it!_

That was my mother in case you're too slow to realize.

But out of all the girls I've met, she is the one that fascinates me the most.

Apart from Lily, but that's different.

She's one of the only girls who doesn't fall over when I walk by, or try doing that stupid hair flick thing.

She doesn't doll herself up just to make other people like her.

She'll do stupid things in public with her friends because that's what she wants to do, she won't worry about other people thinking she's weird.

When I talk to her she doesn't go beet red and start hyperventilating like most of the other girls.

She just talks to me normally.

She doesn't judge me for being a Black.

Or for not being a true Black.

She accepts me the way I am.

Most girls don't bother to look past my looks or charms (which I admit are rather first-class), but she doesn't seem to care.

And she actually ignores me sometimes.

When Lily's mad at us she'll stick up for her.

Most of the girls I've talked with would talk to me anyway.

She's… different.

But anyway.

Back to the point.

We turned up at the campsite, to find that the girls were here!

And you should know when I say 'the girls' I mean Kelsey, Lily, Sav and Bee.

So, in a few words: We were all really stupid and we went into the forest with Lily, Kelsey, Sav and Bee and went into a clearing and decided to play hide and we decided to go in girl boy pairs and Sav and Remus were counting and Bee went with Peter and James went with Lily (although I have to say Lily didn't look very happy about it) and Kelsey and I were together and we ran off while Sav and Remus were counting.

*Deep Breath*

Wait why do I need a breath?

I was writing that.

But anyway.

Kelsey and I were partners, so we snuck out behind Remus and Sav, careful to walk silently on the ground, which was littered with dead leaves and plants.

As we walked a bit further out, we started talking to each other, not very loudly, just whispering.

So, we were talking quietly and suddenly I come to the _massive_ tree with branches everywhere so I stopped.

'Hey, let's climb the tree!' I said to her, not bothering to make my voice quiet; we were far enough away that they wouldn't hear us.

She bit her bottom lip hesitantly, and then looked over her shoulder.

'We can't see the clearing! We have to turn around.'

She grabbed my t-shirt and started trying to pull me back.

I laughed, not moving. 'Come on! We're not _that_ far away! We know we have to go this way. As long as we know which way to go we won't be lost. Come on, after you.' I gestured to the tree.

Kelsey hesitated. 'O…kay.' She said, still unsure. Then she shook her head. 'You go. I'm not really into tree climbing. Me and high unsteady places don't really mix…'

I smiled my award-winning grin (I'm _sure_ she blushed. Even just a little) and said, 'Oh come on! It's not _that _high. I'm not going to let you fall.'

_Where did that come from?!_ I thought. _I wont let you fall? That just sounds cheesy!_

Kelsey smiled, but shook her head. 'No thanks. You go. I'll hide down here.'

I shrugged. 'Your loss' I told her, and then started to climb the tree, stepping from one branch to the next as I climbed higher and higher up the huge tree.

I think I was about three meters off the ground when I turned around to smile at Kelsey, lifting my foot onto another branch.

But my foot missed.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as I tumbled down, my arms scrambling wildly for something to grab onto.

The last thing I saw before I crashed onto the earth was Kelsey's horror stuck face, her eyes wide and fearful.

Then there was nothing.

**Sirius.**

* * *

**Ok, one part left to go! I know I left Lily and James until last, i wanted to keep you all in suspense! Sorry it took so long to get this out. It was the first week of school and the teachers apparantly forgot we were still getting used to school. SO much homework! But the next part is coming out soon, i promise.**

Please Review! It only takes a minute at most to leave a comment, and it really means heaps to me that people comment on my work.


	25. Camping Part 3

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Ok i owe you all an apology. I said I would have it up quickly, and I WAS expecting to, but unfortunately due to things like too much homework and random computer crashes, i only just finished it. Sorry! **

**Disclaimer: As much as**** I wish I was J.K Rowling and was able to claim that Harry Potter was mine, I'm not so I can't. Sad, I know.**

Chapter 25 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Kelsey****'s Diary 10:33pm 9****th**** July 1972**

I can't believe what happened today.

I'll skip the stupid bit where we decide to play hide and seek in the forest (_stupid stupid __stupid)_ and get to the bit where stuff starts getting interesting.

Like, _seriously_ interesting.

Or, to be even more to the point, _Sirius_ interesting (hehe love that joke)

So, when we went to go hide, we found a really awesome tree with heaps of branches everywhere and Sirius was like,

'Hey, let's climb the tree to hide!' Although it wasn't exactly like that.

I said no, because I don't really like climbing trees, but he went right up and was climbing up like a monkey.

Not that he looks like a money.

He doesn't.

I was just using that simile to describe how he-

OK never mind.

It was pretty cool.

Ok, it was _very_ cool.

But that's not the point.

The point is that he went up and climbed the tree, and then, just after turning to smile at me (his smile was _gorgeous!_ But no one tell him I said that), he slipped.

And I wish I could say he managed to grab hold of a branch and swing himself back up, but I can't.

He fell.

He told me later that he thought it was from 3 meters, but from where I was standing I knew it was 4.

He went to put his foot on a branch, but he put his foot down too close and fell straight down, almost flat on his face.

There was this sickening _CRACK_ and he fell.

I must have stood there for at least 10 seconds, gaping in horror at him sprawled on the ground, before I did anything.

My feet seemed to move of their own accord, stumbling underneath me as I tried to regain my balance and run over to him.

I fell on my knees next to him and quickly looked over him.

He was lying in an awkward lying position on his side with his leg lying underneath him, and as far as I could see he wasn't moving.

I put my hand on his shoulders to try and roll him over when a horrible thought struck me.

What if he had broken his back?

Could people break their backs from 4 meter falls?

What if I rolled him over and made it worse?

I leaned over him and ran my hand softly down his spine, trying to see whether I could feel anything that I shouldn't, like cracks or something in the wrong place.

I couldn't feel anything, but that doesn't mean there wasn't anything there.

I hadn't pushed down very hard, so I could've easily missed something.

I quickly made a decision.

Luckily it turned out to be the right one.

I grabbed his shoulders and slowly turned him over so he was lying on his back.

I carefully pulled his leg out from under him and placed it flat.

I leant over and put my ear near his mouth.

I couldn't hear anything.

Almost panicking by this stage, I put my hand on his chest (_no not like _that_ diary!) _and listened again.

This time I heard a faint whisper of air, and felt the rise of his chest.

I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding.

So he was breathing. (Note: I don't even know why I thought he might've stopped breathing, so don't ask me diary. I was in a highly pressured situation!)

_What do you _do_ in this circumstance!_ I thought to myself frantically. _I think he broke his leg, but I'm not sure. What if he broke his back and I just made it worse!_

I calmed myself and tried to think rationally.

He fell from 4 meters; I heard a crack and run over to find his leg crushed beneath him.

_Ok, so he must have broken his leg._ I thought to myself, trying to think calmly. _I need to find a splint and strap it to his leg so it stays straight._

I looked around frantically, skimming across the ground in search of a suitable stick to use as a splint.

Then I found one, lying almost next to Sirius.

It seems like he had knocked it off the tree as he had fallen.

It was almost a meter long and almost completely straight – perfect.

As I placed it against his leg I released I needed a bandage of some sort to strap it with.

In all those muggle TV shows it shows people tearing up shirts and stuff to use, so I decided to try that.

Although there was no way in a million years that I was going to use _my_ shirt.

First of all, it is new shirt and would be a complete waste of money to rip up a whole shirt (well apparently you need a pretty long bandage)

And secondly, Sirius was going to wake up some time and as much as I'm sure he'd love to find a topless lady sitting next to him when he did, it wasn't going to happen.

I gently placed Sirius' arms above his head and slowly took his shirt off (no not like _that_! Gees diary what is with you today?).

And I don't say this about many guys, but Sirius looks better without a shirt on than with one on.

He has a full on six-pack!

To put it bluntly, Sirius is hot.

Really hot.

But don't tell him I said that or else.

I was just pulling it over his head when I heard,

'You know you don't need to wait until I'm unconscious to take my shirt off, you know. You could just ask.'

'Oh My God you're ok!' I almost shouted.

And then I hugged him.

Yes, I actually hugged him.

I could almost feel the grin on his face.

'You know I could get used to this' he said teasingly. 'I should fall out of a tree more often.'

'Shut up.' I told him. 'Now hold still. I need to splint your leg.'

Trying not to completely tear it in two, I ripped the shirt a bit.

Making it about 2 inches in width, I tore the shirt in a spiral so I ended up with a long strip.

I tied one end around the stick, and then started winding it around Sirius' leg, being as gentle as I could.

'Ow' I heard him grunt once or twice under his breath; he was obviously trying not to make a sound.

'Done.' I told him after I had wound the bandage around his whole leg.

I stood up. 'Ok grab my hand I'm going to try and pull you up.' I held out my hand, and he propped himself up on one arm to grab up.

I saw him grimace a bit as he stood, and I instinctively put my arm around his waist to help him stand.

'Don't you _dare_ say anything' I hissed at him just as he opened his mouth.

He grinned at me, but didn't say anything.

Sirius put his arm around my shoulders, and we started limping towards the clearing.

I knew it was the right way because Sirius has a really good sense of direction.

As we stumbled into the clearing we saw Bee leaning against the tree in the middle and Peter, Remus and Sav sitting in a small circle near her.

They jumped up as we came in, and Remus and Peter ran over to help Sirius.

And I could see Bee checking Sirius out.

I almost told her to stop, but checked myself quickly.

They would all wonder why I care.

And I don't.

Why would I care?

I don't.

Definitely.

Probably.

Possibly.

But I'm really tired now.

I should get some sleep.

Night, _**Kelsey.**_

**James' Diary 10:33p****m 9****th**** July 1972**

Wow.

When we all turned up at the campsite to find the girls here, and Sirius said we'd join them for a walk, I never expected _anything_ like what happened.

I'm not sure if I should tell anyone or not.

What happened was…well pretty unbelievable.

I mean, what is the chance it would actually happen, let alone it being _possible_ at all.

But you're probably wondering what I'm going on about.

I'll explain from the beginning.

Well, almost the beginning.

I'll start when Lily and I walk off together (not in that way diary! Yea I wish) for hide and seek.

Which was a pretty stupid idea in hindsight.

But we did it anyway.

So I dragged Lily off to almost out of sight of the clearing, her tugging at me, refusing to come along.

But there wasn't really much she could do.

I am, you know, incredibly strong.

As we got almost out of sight, I pulled her so her back was presses against the tree and put an arm on either side of her.

'What the hell are you doing Potter! Leave me alone!' She tried to tug on my arms so she could get free, but I kept them there.

'No. We have to have a talk. You are not moving from this spot until you tell me why you hate me so much and why you like that scrawny _Snivellus_ so much..'

I looked straight into her eyes, not flinching.

I saw so many emotions swirling inside those emerald eyes. (Why do I keep calling them that? They're just green! Guys don't call eyes _emerald_!)

Confusion.

Surprise.  
Annoyance.

But what astonished me most was _fear_.

I'm not sure what she was scared of, whether it was me, or what she was afraid to tell me, but it didn't matter.

I had to know, and she was going to tell me.

'I-I-I' she stuttered, flinching at my intense stare.

She looks down, and then whispers. 'Sev's a good friend. He's so nice, and can always make me laugh. He tries to protect me from his friends, and he's always nice to my friends, even if they don't like him much. He genuinely cares about me.' Then she looked up. 'Unlike _you_. You are an arrogant _prat, _and_ y_ou'll do what ever you feel like doing, whether it will hurt other people or not. Sev never did anything to you! But yet you still keep bullying him, embarrassing him, even though you know it hurts not only him but _me_. I don't think I can ever trust you! You keep saying you want to be my friend James, but how can you expect me to even _consider_ it when you don't even care about what I have to say! If you _really, truly_, want to be my friend James, look me in the eye and tell me that you will stop bullying Sev. Tell me that you're sorry for what you did to him, and you will go apologize. Tell me that, and _mean_ it, then I will consider being your friend James. Go on, say it.'

She glared back at me.

I was stunned.

That was the most Lily had ever said to me.

And to tell you what, I didn't like it.

I mean, who wants to be told that they are an arrogant prat and don't care about anyone!

But I hesitated for too long.

'I didn't think so' she whispered.

Lily shoved my arms out of the way and started walking back to the clearing.

'No, Lily, _wait_!' I shouted.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her back so she was facing me.

'Lily, I'm sorry! I didn't realize I hurt you so much! My entire family hates Slytherins, I have that prejudice too! I can't help my upbringing! I'm sorry Lily! I really will try. I know I can't ask you to trust me, but I will try to earn your trust. I really will. I promise.'

I put a finger under her chin and lifted her face so she could see my eyes.

I really _was_ serious, I promise you.

I'm not going to bully Sniv-Severus again.

Lily seemed surprised at the amount of sincerity in my eyes.

'F-for real?' She asked, uncertain.

'For real.' I told her.

She bit her lip.

I could tell she was deciding on something.

'Well…' she hesitated. 'Can I show you somewhere? I wanted to show all the others, but they're not here…'

'Of course!' I felt so excited that Lily wanted to show me, _me_ of all people her special place.'

She started winding through trees, so sure of herself I was almost sure she knew the forest off by heart.

Then she stopped at what looked like a wall of trees and bushes.

You could hear the very loud sound of rushing water.

'Where-' I tried to say but she cut me off with a, 'Shhhh!'

She started to climb a tree at the edge of the wall, swinging herself up onto branches until she was above the wall.

She waved to me to follow her, do I climbed up.

By that time Lily had already crept across the branch and swung herself over the wall, landing with a soft _thud_ on the other side.

I followed her, making slightly more noise.

'Shhh!' she scolded, then stepped back so I could see where we were.

We were standing by the lake I had seen when we first arrived, but here it was wider.

There was a waterfall too, water cascading from at least 10 meters high.

The droplets of water formed rainbows from the sunlight, and the water was sparkling like… well like magic.

'Wow' I breathed.

'I know' Lily said, standing next to me. 'I found this place when I was 8. I've been coming here every year since. It's… a place of good. Like nothing evil can get me here. That's how I've always felt.'

'Yea…' I said, only able to stare in awe. 'Hey, let's go across to the other side! We can sneak behind the waterfall! We won't get wet; the water doesn't touch the edge.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her right to the edge of the waterfall.

To my surprise she didn't resist.

I pushed my back to the cold stone and started creeping along, Lily following me.

Then, when we got to the middle, something really weird happened.

Like, _really_ weird.

The stone seemed to vanish, and, with a cry, both Lily and I fell back.

Yea, _that_ weird.

But I have to go.

I'll write later.

But today was a success.

Lily actually likes me!

See ya, **James.**

* * *

**Yes, Lily's chapter is not here. Please dont eat me! It's just that it would've been WAY to long with it in, but i am uploading them both at the same time so you wont have to wait.**

**Please review! You dont need to have an account to review, and it only takes a minute. Less. 30 seconds. It really means a lot to me that my readers comment on my work and help me improve it.**


	26. Camping Part 4

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Ok this is Lily's part! Please don't be mad at me for putting them separately! There is another James part too. I thought i could get more across from his POV.**

**Disclaimer: As much as**** I wish I was J.K Rowling and was able to claim that Harry Potter was mine, I'm not so I can't. Sad, I know.**

Chapter 26 - 1st Year at Hogwarts

**Lily's Diary 10:38p****m 9****th**** July 1972**

Wow.

I think… if that's possible… I actually like James Potter.

I mean, not _like _like, that's just weird, but I don't hate him anymore.

He can actually be… nice.

He promised to try and… earn my trust.

Well I guess he did.

Just not in the way either of us expected.

So the short version of it is that I gave James a massive speech about why I hate him stuff, and in return he gave me a speech about how he was sorry and would try and earn my trust, then I showed him my secret place and we fell through the stone at the back of the waterfall.  
Yea, my life is incredibly weird.

So we were creeping along the back of the waterfall, the bit of stone that doesn't get wet, and when we were in the middle, the stone seemed to vanish.

We fell backwards with a cry, passing through the stone as if it was only a soft cloud, and fell hard on our backs next to each other.

We lay there, stunned, and then James quickly sat up and turned to me.

'Lily are you ok? That was a pretty hard fall…' He said, sounding genuinely concerned (for a change).

I stood up quickly, not wanting to show any sings of weakness. 'I'm fine.' Then I winced mentally at the pain in my hand, which I had instinctively put out to break my fall.

James and I looked at each other for a moment, and then slowly turned around.

We seemed to be in exactly the same place, but we were standing in a cave, and in front of us was a river, at the end of which was the same waterfall we had just fallen through.

I was thoroughly confused.

There was an island in the middle of the lake, not very big, only about 2.5 meters in diameter.

Standing on it were two, shining animals, a doe and a stag.

'Patronus…' I heard James breathe and I turned to him.

'What?' I asked him.

'They look like patronus'' He whispered to me. 'I've seen my dad cast them before. His is a bear though. My mum's is a horse. They are like a shield against dementors, and they can send messages over long distance. It's like an animal made of happiness. But these can't be patronus'. They must be… spirits of some kind.'

My eyes were immediately drawn to the doe.

Her shining eyes look intently into mine, and suddenly I knew what we had to do.

'This is some kind of test.' I whispered to James. 'We have to make our way to the other side… it's like we have to prove our courage and loyalty…'

His eyes suddenly flashed with realization.

'Of course!' He said. 'It's like those stories, how the hero was drawn into another world, for some sort of test! I loved that story when I was about 5years old.' He stopped and looked a bit sheepish. 'I used to pretend it was me and I was completing the task. At the end the hero got the glory and the girl. There was always a girl.'

I nodded – knowing it was the same in the muggle world.

'But it doesn't look like much of a test' I whispered back to him. 'It's just a river with a couple of rapids. We could swim the whole way.'

'Umm…' James hesitated. 'I'm not sure I could… It looks a long way… and with resistance it would be a lot harder than the school lake…' He trailed off, looking a bit ashamed.

I realized this was a touchy subject for him.

No guy – least of all James – liked admitting he couldn't do something.

'Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed about. It would take a lot of courage to admit that. And you have to take at least one thing you can't do well. Otherwise your head would explode from your ego

He looked confused for a moment, and then – 'Hey! I'm not-'

'So I think we're going to have to swim for a bit of it.' I cut him off. 'I can help you if you get too tired. We can rest for a bit on that island, and maybe we can like walk on the stones above the rapids if you're ok with it.'

James nodded, and stepped forward, almost into the water.

'Wait!' I said to him. 'We should have a drink now. The more we drink the less weight will be in the backpack. We should take our shoes off too.' I take off my backpack, which James obviously hadn't noticed from the startled look on his face, and took out two water bottles.

I gave one to James and we sat down on the cold stone and took a long drink.

We stood up again and I put the bottles back into my bag, along with our shoes and socks.

We were about to step into the water when I stopped suddenly.

'Take your shirt off.' I ordered James.

His expression went from confused to a smile as he started tugging off his shirt.

'Well, you did ask. Maybe we could fit in a bit of snogging to before we start our swim-'

'Don't be an idiot James!' I rolled my eyes. 'It'll be easier to swim with less clothes on. Just put your shirt in the bag, I can carry it.'

'No, I'll carry it-' he started to say, suddenly all chivalry, but I cut him off.

'You said you wouldn't be able to swim the length anyway.' I replied, tugging open the zip on the bag. 'You won't be able to swim it with a bag. I can carry it.'

I looked up to grab James shirt… and looked away straight away, snatching the shirt away harshly.

'Whoa, easy. What did I do wrong now?' He asked.

'Oh… nothing. Sorry' I muttered, still looking away.

The truth was – James was hot.

_Really_ hot.

More hot than a 12 year old should be.

He has like a six-pack!

I know at least half the girls in my year that would give practically anything to be in my situation.

But they weren't.

I was.

_Stop thinking like that! _I told myself. _James is hot, so what! He can still be a jerk. Concentrate!_

I looked up, avoiding his bare chest.

'Ok, ready?' I asked.

'You aren't going to take your shirt off too?' He asked, with his 'innocent' face.

'Haha you wish.' I retorted, rolling my eyes.

I swung the bag onto my back and stepped forward so my toes were almost touching the water.

'You ready?' I asked, staring at the silver doe that hadn't moved.

'If you are.' He replied.

I took a breath, ready to step into the water, when I felt pressure on my hand.

I glanced down to find James' hand in mine.

When I look up at James again he's looking into my eyes, smiling hesitantly.

Not that cocky arrogant smile I hate so much, but a smile that actually reaches his eyes.

And as much as I hate to admit it, I'm glad he took my hand.

It comforted me.

He brushed his hair out of his gorgeous hazel eyes, and looked forward again.

Wait – 'Gorgeous hazel eyes'?

Where did that come from?

James is a jerk.

Just because I'd forgiven him (mostly) doesn't change that fact.

We took a breath and stepped forward together.

*duh duh duh!*

Sorry just thought that would add effect.

But I know you'd probably expect for some evil sea monster to suddenly grab me and James saves me (again) but that didn't happen.

Our feet got wet.

And that was it.

We took another step.

Our knees got wet.

Then another.

Our thighs.

Soon we were shoulder deep, and we had to start swimming.

And let me tell you, it was hard.

The current was going in the other direction, James isn't a strong swimmer and I was carrying a heavy bag on my back.

And what's more, we didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

Even though we could see from the shore we were moving (slowly but surely) forward, the island kept moving backwards.

Well, that's what it seemed like.

It just wasn't getting any closer.

I was starting to lag behind, when James turned to me and said, 'Let me take the bag. You're exhausted. I'm ok at the moment.'

I started to protest, but he wouldn't hear of it.

'No. I'm taking the bag. I promise I will give it back if I start to get tired. But I can see that you are seriously worn out.'

I tried to tell him no again, but he swam around behind me and slid it off my back.

'Thank you. Now stop trying to tell me off and swim.' He started to swim again, a little slower this time but trying nonetheless.

I didn't know what to say.

It was practically the first nice thing James had done to me since… well saving my life.

Or maybe it was the broom ride.

Or apologizing.

But it doesn't matter.

I turned to swim again and to my surprise the island seemed a whole lot closer.

'James!' He stopped swimming and waited for me to catch up.

'Yea?' He replied, and I could tell he was getting a bit tired.

'The island! It's closer! It was like 200 meters away when we started, and after swimming for 15 minutes it was still that far away! Now it's closer to 100!'

He looked again. 'Hey you're right! I wonder why?'

I thought for a moment. 'It must have been… when you took the bag! It would've been easier for you to just ignore I was lagging behind, but u didn't. You decided to be nice. You knew it would make the swim harder for you if you did take it, but you took it anyway. Maybe the…spirits or something decided that was awesome of you to do and we completed a task.'

He blinked. 'I didn't mean for that to happen… I just wanted to help… you looked like you were struggling a bit…'

He saw the look on my face and backtracked immediately.

'I mean, uh, not _struggling_, just, um, you were looking kind of tired, and, ah…' He trailed off, and I laughed.

'Never mind. We have better things to worry about. But let's keep swimming.'

We swam for another 10 minutes, and were finally almost at the island.

In unison, the patronus things (I'm beginning to think they were spirits of some kind) turned around and started walking _on _the water.

Whenever a foot (hoof?) touched the water, a silver light would spread through the water.

James and I clambered up onto the island and watched them walk to the bank, just near the rapids, and continue to watch us.

We looked at each other and sat down, tired from the swim when we saw it.

I wasn't sure if it had just appeared, or had been made by the silver light from the 'spirits' or whether it had just been there the whole time and we just hadn't noticed.

'James!' I hissed at him.

He stopped playing with his hair and looked up. 'What?' He whispered, and then noticed it. 'Wow. Was that there before?'

I shrugged, and turned back to the bridge that stretched across from the edge of the island to a rock that was just at the base of a split in the waterfall.

Underneath it were leaves that floated on the water, covered in some green and brown algae stuff.

Wow I really wrote heaps.

I should sleep now.

I have a lot to think over.

Love, _**Lily.**_

**James' Diary 1:23p****m 9****th**** July 1972**

I couldn't sleep.

I kept thinking about today.

About that kiss…

Haha just kidding.

I knew saying that would get you worked up.

I don't even know why I'm trying to work you up anyway.

You're a diary.

You don't have emotions.

I might be going mad.

Talking to a diary.

But I should shut up now, and talk about what was actually keeping me up.

I think Lily… might actually trust me.

But that's a minor thing.

I keep thinking about… how I almost lost her.

And I'm not saying that to get you worked up.

But you're probably confused. (Stupid James for talking to a diary like it's a real person! Stop it!)

So it pretty much started when we first saw the bridge.

It was old and rickety, and neither of us was sure whether it would support our weight.

'Well, I guess we could just go through the leaves…' Lily suggested, and I looked at the leaves under the bridge.

Lily Pads.

Harmless enough.

Except for what was on them.

I didn't know what the name was; I wasn't listening to that bit.

But I knew what it did.

Thank Merlin for Herbology.

It was very poisonous; any contact with skin would make it immediately red and irritated, with swellings everywhere, getting worse and worse until treated.

It sounds horrifying.

We saw a photo and the boils kept on popping every 30 minutes, until you couldn't see skin anymore.

It was sickening.

And at that moment when I knew what it was; I knew that Lily didn't know.

Which was a first.

I mean, when do I ever know something Lily doesn't?

When it comes to Herbology apparently.

'No!' I almost yelled, and then realized my mistake.

Lily didn't know about the algae, so I shouldn't tell her.

The bridge could hold us both.

There was no use worrying her.

I hoped.

'What's wrong?' Lily asked, clearly confused. 'The bridge is obviously unstable, and we're already wet do it won't matter.'

'I-uh-um, don't think the bridge is _that_ unstable.' I stammered out. 'We could try going across it. If we're careful we can make it. We won't even have to swim with the bag again, and carrying it will be easier.' With that I grabbed the bag, so she couldn't get it first.

I was trying to be nice, without making her feel weak, because I know one of the things she dreads is looking weak.

She still looked confused. 'Oh….kay?' She said, and stood up, walking towards the bridge.

I followed, ready to grab Lily and pull her back if the bridge made any sign of collapsing.

She took a tentative step forward.

The wooden boards creaked beneath her feet, but held.

She took another, and I followed, keeping towards the side of the bride – where I knew it was strongest.

The bridge creaked again, but still it held.

Lily was almost at the middle of the bridge when I heard the sound of wood bending.

I dived forward, hoping to pull Lily to safety.

With an earsplitting _CRACK_ the floor boards beneath her feet snapped in half, just as I grabbed her around the waist and spun around, so my back was facing towards the water.

I had one thought – _Don't let Lily touch the algae._

We fell through the bridge, miraculously not hitting our heads on broken bits of wood, and crashed into the water.

A sharp jab of pain travelled up my back as my bare skin contacted with the brown algae.

I took a gulp of air, holding it in as Lily crashed on top of me, luckily not hurt.

I felt my skin blister, but I kept my head enough to realize we were going to need to swim the rest of the way underwater.

I tried to swim down, ignoring my almost overwhelming instinct to head towards air, and pulled Lily down with me.

Luckily I was stronger than she was, so I pulled her down about a meter and a half and let go of her, grabbing her hand instead.

She turned towards me, confusion on her face.

She tried to pull away, but I held her hand firmly so she couldn't.

I shook my head. _Trust me._ I mouthed, pleading with my eyes.

Her previous words ran through my head:

_I don't think I can ever trust you!_

I think I was actually scared at that moment.

Scared that not only would Lily keep trying to swim back up to the top and hurt herself, but would also decide I couldn't be trusted.

That she would shake her head and swim away.

But instead she looked at me with hesitant eyes, and slowly nodded.

I pulled on her arm and started swimming as fast as I could to the giant rock I could see.

I let go of her hand, hoping she would follow me, and knowing that both of us could swim faster not holding hands.

I reached the rock just as I desperately needed to take a breath.

Luckily the rock was out of the way of the poisonous algae, so I was able to climb up onto without getting hurt more.

I turned around to help Lily out, and we both collapsed onto the rock.

I flinched as soon as my back touched the cold stone, and automatically curled up onto my side.

Lily saw my back and gasped. 'James what happened to you!' she panted a bit, needing more breath, then continued. 'Your back…' she trailed off.

I turned around and spoke very quickly, trying to keep the pain out of my expression. 'This was because of the algae. It's why I forced you to stay underwater. Why I fell into the water first, so it wouldn't touch you. We need to get out quickly, and go to St Mungo's straight away.'

My back felt like it was on fire.

Then a movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn.

The silver stag had dipped its head into the water, spreading the silver light in a path all the way to the rock.

It travelled up the rock and onto my back, immediately quenching the burning.

The light slowly faded, leaving me and Lily sitting there dumbfounded.

I twisted around to try and look at my back – the blisters were gone.

Lily and I stared at each other.

She slowly put her hand out and gently touched my back.

'It's gone… How did it just disappear?'

I shrugged.

'Maybe they didn't actually mean for us to get like fatally injured… it was just part of the test to see whether we would go through the pain for the sake of the other person… Which I would.'

Lily looked at me with an expression I couldn't place. 'James, I don't know how to thank you… That you'd go through so much pain to save me…'

I shook my head. 'Lily, you don't need to thank me. It'd instinctive. I couldn't let anyone I lo-cared for get hurt. If any of my friends was going to be hurt, and I could stop it, even by taking the pain in their place, there's no doubt I would do it.'

I almost said loved.

Almost.

I don't know why I almost said that.

Yea of course I loved my friends, but guys don't say that to each other.

And why would I say it to Lily?

She pressed on. 'But really James, I think-'

I cut her off, knowing that she probably wasn't going to rest until she got a proper apology out, but I wouldn't let her.

'Let's just get out of here, ok? We can get out right here. Let's go!' I stood up, ready to go, when a strange expression crosses Lily's face.

Again.

It was something like understanding… but pain in the understanding.

And acceptance.

I couldn't place it exactly.

She shook her head quickly, as if to clear a thought and the expression vanished, being replaced by happiness.

'Yep! The others must be so worried.' She motioned to the gap in the waterfall where, as we didn't notice before, there was a 'wall' of silver light.

Obviously the way out.

Lily picked up the bag and handed it too me. 'You go first. It's the least I can do after you saved me.'

The sentence seemed a bit weird, but I said OK and stepped through the light.

I stepped out, landing on the grass by the edge of the river.

I spun around, looking for Lily, but instead saw the silver stag, slowly walking towards me from the other side of the river.

'Where's Lily!' I was about to say, but I heard a voice in my head before my mouth could get the words out.

_The girl you are looking for chose to stay behind. Only one could leave that land, and she chose that person to be you._

I could only gape in surprise and horror.

'Bring her back! Bring her back here right now! You can't keep her there! It's not fair! We didn't choose to go there! You made us! Why should Lily be kept there! You can't, I won't let you…'

I found I was shouting at the stag in a way I would probably only shout to myself.

I would probably never sound like that talking to someone else.

_Why should she come back?_ The stag seemed to gaze right into my soul. _She chose to stay there. How could you make us let her come back?_

'I-I-I… Well she is too noble to make me stay there! She didn't _choose!_ She would've come if she had the choice. I… I need to make her trust me. I've… never been hated before, or even untrusted (is that a word?) and I need to make things right. I need to prove to her than I will try…' I was almost crying by the end of it.

Why was I saying this stuff!

I never said any of this stuff aloud.

The silver eyes of the doe bored into mine.

_Just remember this when the time comes, the thing you want most is the hardest to get. If it is truly worth getting, then it is hard. Nothing pure and beautiful comes easily, you must earn it. Remember this._

The stag turned, and started walking off into the trees.

'Wait, aren't you bringing her back! You need to bring her back!'

I was interrupted by a slight giggle behind me.

I spun around to see Lily there, smiling.

'Well that's a funny thing to see when stepping out of another world. James potter yelling after a spirit: 'You need to bring her back!' There's something you don't see everyday.'

'Lily!' I almost shouted, and, yes it's true, hugged her.

She seemed to fit next to me perfectly, he head resting on my shoulder.

'I thought they were going to just leave you there!' Then I realized what I was doing and pulled away, slightly embarrassed.

'Um, well, we should like go now…' I said, all too aware of her pink cheeks.

I headed over to the wall of greenery and climbed back up to the branch, holding my hand out to help Lily up.

We were in sight of the clearing when Lily turned to me and quietly said 'James…?'

I stopped and looked at her. 'Yea?' I asked.

She stood up on her tip toes and gave me a peck on the cheek.

Yea, that bit about the kiss being not real was only half wrong.

I could feel my face flushing.

'Thank you. I couldn't have done that with anyone else.' She whispered.

I smiled shyly and said 'Thank _you_ Lily.'

When we walked into the clearing everyone was practically freaking out.

They were shouting at us all at once, and when we finally got them quieted down Lily and I looked at each other and said, 'Um… we got lost.'

We knew we couldn't tell anyone.

We just… couldn't.

But I should sleep now.

We're up early tomorrow.

Later, **James.**

**Ok! Finally, the last of the camping trip is done. That took ages. But It's finished now, and next chapter they start school again! Reviews please! **


	27. First Day of Second Year

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**So this is the first day of 2****nd**** year! I wonder what's going to happen… If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them! And I KNOW I skipped like 2 months, but I already had enough for the holidays.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Sad, I know.**

Chapter 27 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

**Lily's Diary ****7:12pm 1****st**** September 1972**

Finally, I'm back to school!

It's been so long.

I'll have to fill you in about everything _else_ that happened during the holidays.

I didn't get time to write much, after what happened.

Sav had her birthday.

It was on the 30th of August.

I made her a really pretty woven bracelet.

It wasn't much, but she seemed to really life it.

Kelsey gave her a sugar quill and some of that self-checking ink.

I'll never get tired of seeing letters morph into correct spelling.

Bee gave her this really pretty earring, necklace and bracelet set.

It was made of silver and this yellow stone (Sav's favorite colour is yellow, in case you haven't noticed) and it was in the shape of a star.

They were really pretty.

I don't know how Bee affords it.

I feel really bad that I can't give any of my friends these really expensive presents, but they all say that they love what I give them.

But Bee's birthday is coming up, in October.

She's young for her year - she was only 10 when she came but her family got her in because she is really smart and stuff.

She says she's going to invite us over for a girl's night in.

We're going to do manicures, each others hair and play truth or dare and everything.

It seems fun, I guess.

Kelsey and I aren't really into the whole nail and hair thing, but it'll be fun anyway.

I'm so happy to see Sev again.

I haven't seen him for so long.

He wasn't very happy when I told him that for some weird coincidence James had turned up at out camping spot.

He didn't even seem happier when I said we barely talked to them for the time, except to tell them not to talk to us.

Which is part of the truth.

After… what happened at the camp ground, James and I managed not to convince our groups to hang out again, or go exploring in the woods.

It was hard, but I just suggested that we hang out inside and discuss pranks (well, we need to have _some_ planned as payback for what they're going to do to us) on them for the rest of the term, which satisfied Kelsey, and I let Sav and Bee do my hair.

I owe James, still.

I was hoping that it would be even, because I offered to stay in that spirit land forever, but he saved me from that algae stuff.

So I still owe him.

I know, one day, he will get it from me.

At the time when I definitely don't want him too.

But I got a bit of a shock today.

I was stepping onto the train, when I saw a mini Sirius.

There was a boy wearing black robes, with exactly the same black hair and grey eyes.

He was just a little bit shorter though, and instead of the smug grin Sirius always wore, he looked sort of hesitant, like he didn't know where to go.

I kissed my parents goodbye as I stepped onto the train, and walked up to him and said, 'Hi…?.' trying to figure out whether it was Sirius who had just taken some weird potion or not.

Then he looked at me with an expression of disgust and said, 'Don't talk to _me _like that, mudblood…'

At that moment, Sirius walked in. 'Don't talk to _her_ like that!' he snapped at the mini Sirius (but I was _sure_ I saw some regret on his face), and turned to me, smiling a smile that look kind of fake.

'Hey Lils! I see you've met my baby brother… *gives mini Sirius a glare* Let's go find a carriage.'

He tugged me off with a sort of determined expression, with me gaping and trying to talk, leaving mini Sirius there with a look of shock on his face.

He found an empty carriage and we sat down.

'Wait, that was your _brother_?' I asked.

He nodded. 'Just ignore him. He listens to my parents too much…. Hey James!' He suddenly called out, making me jump.

James, who had just been walking past, stopped and walked in, sitting down next to me.

'Hey Sirius. Hey Lils.' He said, putting and arm over my shoulder.

I flashed a quick smile at him but then looked away.

I didn't want to be reminded of what he did for me, or how much I owe him.

He looked about to say something, when Kelsey and Sav walked in.

'It's pronounced Hom-mus!' Kelsey was demanding.

'No! It's Hum-mus!' Sav was insisting.

James, Sirius and I all raised our eyebrows at the same time.

Kelsey and Sav seemed to realize what they were arguing about and smiled embarrassedly.

'Hi?' They said together, and we all laughed.

Sav sat down next to me, and Kelsey went and sat on Sirius' side but away from him.

Sirius slipped a hand around her waist and pulled her next to him. 'Come on Kelsey I don't bite.'

She glared at him, but otherwise didn't move.

In due course Bee, Peter and Remus walked in and we sat and talked for the rest of the trip.

Well, except that I-

Oh I have to go now.

Night, _**Lily**_

**James' Diary 8:28p****m 1****st**** September 1972**

Today was pretty cool.

We all went back to Hogwarts.

I saw Sirius' little brother.

Regulus.

He seems… different from Sirius.

He got into Slytherin, of course.

Didn't follow in Sirius' footsteps.

His parents must be so proud.

I went over to his place in the holidays, it's like a full on castle.

Except a lot more sinister than mine looks.

It has like a full on dungeon and everything (I didn't see it – Sirius told me about it).

I knocked on the door and said, 'Good morning Mrs. Black, is Sirius in?' (Yes, I _can_ be polite when I want to).

Usually parents love me, but she just glared at me and said, 'Get your blood traitor filth away from my house! Don't come back! That boy shouldn't be fraternizing with blood traitors. I'll show him…'

I was shocked.

'Oh- Sorry, I, um…' I tried to stammer out, but she slammed the door in my face.

I didn't realize how mean his Mum actually was.

And how mean to _him_ she was.

My mum will give me practically _anything_ I want.

She showers me with attention and praises, even when I do something wrong.

Sirius' mum seems to do the opposite.

I haven't thought much about what happened in the holidays.

It just seems so… unreal.

But whenever I look at Lily, she always looks away.

She's been avoiding my eye all day.

I wonder what's wrong.

I hope it's not my fault.

Or about Snive-Severus.

I _have_ been trying.

He walked past today, and I didn't insult, hex or curse him.

Let me tell you, it was hard.

But what has James Potter been reduced to?

Not being the prankster he truly is, just because he made a promise to a girl?

Well, I suppose she didn't say I couldn't bully anyone else.

And I could probably get away with pulling pranks on him as much as I do to everyone else.

That's only fair.

Lily _can't_ get mad at me for that.

Sirius and I are already planning the pranks we're going to play on the first years.

First years are the _best_ to play pranks on.

They're already so confused.

But something weird happened today.

I was walking with Sav to the carriage (everyone else were slow pokes at getting off) but when we were about three meters away, she stopped and stared at the space ahead of the carriage.

She looked started, then tugged on my arm and asked, 'James… what's _that?_' She pointed where she was looking.

It was empty space.

'Sav, there's nothing there. Let's go sit inside.' I tried to tug her arm but she held firm.

'No, can't you see them? Those winged horse thingies. They're right there!'

She seemed to really be serious about it (do _not_ make a Sirius joke!), but then again she is a pretty good actress.

'Haha, very funny Sav. Hurry up; I want to get to the castle.' I managed to pull her away and into the carriage.

She looked very confused though, as I pulled her inside.

But I should go now.

I have to finish unpacking.

See ya, **James.**

**Sirius' Diary 8:28p****m 1****st**** September 1972**

It's the first day of Hogwarts!

I'm so excited!

I'm happy about everything!

Seeing my friends (and Kelsey, of course), being away from my parents, Regu-.

Well, not Regulus so much.

I know I made a big show in front of Lily to seem as if I didn't care or was angry with Regulus, but I do care about him.

He's my baby brother, how could I not!

I feel like a failure.

I couldn't protect my little brother from _them_.

I was hoping that maybe he could see me as a role model…

Someone he would try to follow…

Follow away from the influence of our family.

I wanted him to join Gryffindor, and help rebel against the family!

Maybe, even though he's in Slytherin, I could help him be like Andromeda.

She's my cousin, my favorite cousin.

She graduated from Hogwarts two years ago; she's 19 now.

I don't know _why_ she was put into Slytherin, but she was Head Girl in her time.

Now she's dating Ted Tonks.

No, not dating.

She told me during the holidays that he proposed!

She's engaged now!

Teds muggle-born, but he's awesome.

She hasn't told anyone else yet, she's afraid that they'll forbid her to see him, but she told me because she knows that I won't give her away.

It's so exciting.

I wonder if she'll have kids!

That would be so cool.

It'll really annoy our family, so that's a good thing.

I wonder how Andromeda turned out so great with sisters like Bellatrix and Narcissa.

Narcissa is now in 7th year.

She's a prefect, along with her boyfriend _Lucius_.

I hate that guy.

He always thinks he's so cool.

He's a Slytherin prefect too.

I have to avoid him and Narcissa; otherwise they always find ways to give me detentions.

_Oh, Sirius Black, you're late to breakfast, you'll be cleaning cauldrons for a week._

_Oi, Black, no running in the corridor! Go see Slughorn after you next class!_

Yea, it can get annoying.

And Bellatrix is even worse.

I've never seen her at Hogwarts, she's a lot older than I am, but I see her plenty at family gatherings.

Speaking of family gatherings, something weird's been going on.

After dinner, mother and father have told all the children (including Andromeda, which is weird because Narcissa stays and she's younger than Andromeda) to get out of the dining room and head to the room on the far side of the house so they can talk.

They stay in there for _hours_, just talking.

Once I heard raised voices.

It was Bellatrix saying, '_I _will welcome… if none of you will!'

Then my mother said, '… dare you suggest that we will not! We … full allegiance! We just wish …_ seen_ as unsupportive! … Falls, we could still give him …'

Then I heard my father shushing them.

What was that about?

Who are they talking about?

It doesn't seem good, _that's_ for sure.

Maybe it had something to do with the Sorting Hat Song…

_O, When Hogwarts first began,_

_At nigh 1000 year,_

_Created by one brave man,_

_Off his head I did appear._

_Godric Gryffindor was his name,_

_And now all Gryffindors contain,_

_The same bravery, loyalty, and chivalry_

_Running through their veins._

_Or maybe from Rowena Ravenclaw,_

_Do your fine traits derive,_

_With intelligence and wit,_

_For your best you always strive._

_You may be like Helga Hufflepuff,_

_Accepting, loyal and true,_

_Thinking of others always,_

_For kindness you'll forever pursue._

_Last of all Salazar Slytherin,_

_Where your purity is key,_

_Of cunning and leadership you must have,_

_To a reasonable degree_

_But beware to all of Hogwarts,_

_No matter where you belong,_

_For a great darkness is rising,_

_But together you are strong,_

_So come on now and put me on,_

_I'll show you where you go,_

_I'll have a look inside your head,_

_For I see all, you know._

I never knew the sorting hat like gave warnings.

'A great darkness is rising'?

What does that mean?

But I'll tell you one thing: it doesn't sound good.

But I got a new broom for Christmas!

Mother and Father gave it to me.

I don't know why they're being so nice to me.

They didn't glare at me or call me 'Traitor to the Black name' at all in the holidays.

It's a Nimbus 1001.

I think James has the same model.

We're going to be _awesome_ this year.

I can't believe our luck!

At least _four_ positions are open, as the Gryffindor likes to keep the same team every year, only opening new positions when the 7th years leave, and there were three 7th years on the team last year. I don't know about the 4th opening though.

There are two Chasers, a Beater and a Seeker opening.

I'm going for Beater, and James likes Chaser.

Oh, and another thing is, since the camping trip, Lily has been talking to James.

She didn't glare at him, or call him a prat or anything.

They were talking.

Maybe he actually apologized to her.

All we need now is for James to stuff up again and Lily to hate him and we'll have the whole cycle all over again.

It's happened about 3 times so far.

And none of us know why.

We know why Lily starts hating him again, but none of us know why she liked him to start off with.

Wait, not like that.

Lily _should_ like James, but she doesn't, and we never find out why she suddenly likes him after hating him for ages.

Oh well.

Maybe I'll ask him.

Later, **Sirius**.

**Severus' Diary 8:28p****m 1****st**** September 1972**

Well, I'm back to school now.

I'm glad.

Holidays aren't much fun when half your time is spent sitting by yourself, and the other half is sitting inside listening to your parents arguing.

The only part I enjoyed was talking to Lily.

Yes, I still love her.

_Your only 12 Severus! How do you know what love is?_

Well I just know that whenever I see her, I get this warm fuzzy feeling somewhere in my chest, my heart starts beating really fast, and I can't stop smiling.

I know that whatever Lily asks me to do I would do, no matter what it was.

I would do anything for her.

And by the way she looks at me; I know that she would do anything for me too.

I bet _Potter_ doesn't feel like that.

I bet that he will only be interested in Lily for a while, and if she ever begins to like him at all, he'll go and let her down.

I would never do anything like that.

But I can't believe what happened to Lily during the holidays!

Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew just _happened_ to turn up at the exact same camping spot as her!

What a coincidence!

Not.

I don't know how they found out that Lily went camping there, but I just can't see how they could've just found Lily's annual camping spot by chance.

But I'm glad that Narcissa and Lucius are prefects.

Maybe they'll be able to give those troublemakers so much time in detention they won't have time to _sleep_.

But there's definitely something up with Lupin.  
Last year I saw a couple of times where there were three of them, instead of four.

I presumed maybe they'd had a fight, but I couldn't see him at all.

Then he came back a day or two after, assuring the others that his mother was fine.

That happens often.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was lying.

It's just the type of thing that that little group would do for attention.

But my friends are pretty cool.

They've decided that we should try and hang out with Regulus Black, to stop him being influenced by his brother.

Maybe we could even use him to get all the Blacks in their normal place.

If Regulus could convince Sirius that he was wrong and they were right, they would have direct access to Gryffindor.

I don't know _why_ we would need it though.

They were all going on about 'Finding the enemies plan' or 'Getting to the next generation of opposes' or something like that.

I had no idea what they were talking about, but I pretended I did so I didn't look stupid.

But I have heard a bit from my mum about something, but she didn't tell me anything at all.

I was reading the Daily Prophet, but she quickly took it out of my hands and said 'You don't need to worry about that until you're older, dear. Just enjoy the free time you have.'

Then my father yelled at her to bring him a beer, so she walked out.

She's always nice to me when we're by ourselves.

My dad isn't.

I don't think he likes anything much, especially wizards.

Oh well.

I don't think there's really much I can do about it.

Oh, I can hear people coming up the stairs.

I'd better go, I'll write later.

Bye, **Sev.**


	28. Never Seen So Much Pain

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Thanks for sticking with this story guys! If anyone has any ideas for future plots, or anything you'd like to see, I'd be happy to put stuff in! And yes, I know that 7 years is a long time to wait for any Lily/James action, but hopefully I will be able to put plenty of stuff in to keep you happy until then.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. ****Enough said.**

Chapter 28 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Remus****' Diary 5:30pm 23****rd**** September 1972**

Well, tonight's the night.

My first transformation for second year.

In about half an hour I'm going with Madam Pomfrey to the shrieking shack.

The sun is setting at around 6:30, so I'll have 25 minutes inside before I transform.

Merlin, how am I discussing this so rationally?

I'm a monster!

How can I say, _Oh yea and at around 6:30 I'm going to transform_.

But… what happens if I somehow find my way out of the room, go through the tunnel and find someone and like eat them or something.

I don't know if I could live with that guilt.

Murdering an innocent person, just because they were there, at the wrong time.

Just like I was.

What happens if I wake up one morning, turn up at breakfast, and see a picture of someone lying dead on the grass, bite marks all over them, and a front-page story about a monster that stalks around at night attacking people?

What would I do then?

Would Dumbledore decide that I was too big a risk to have around, and send me off to live back with my parents?

Worse, would he tell everyone that I was a werewolf _then_ send me off!

If he just sent me off, I could make up a story to tell, but if he told everyone then my friends would never want to talk to me again.

They'd be horrified that they were ever friends with me.

They'd probably destroy all of their pictures with me in it, and get rid of anything that people could use to associate me with them.

I mean, who wants to be friends with a werewolf?

I liked my transformations at home better.

My parents would lock me in the basement, but they'd stay outside the door all night, talking to me.

I think it helped keep me calm.

Sometimes when I'm with someone, I remember more in the morning.

I'd wake up in my bed, where my dad had carried me at sunrise, and remember certain things they said to me.

But here… there's no one.

No one to reassure me that it'll all be ok, even though I wont hear it.

No one to stay up with me, even though I can't see them.

But I think a part of me knows that they're there, even if I don't know it.

I'm not _me_ when I'm a wolf, but I think I'm there somewhere.

Oh, Madam Pomfrey's here.

It must be almost 6.

I have to go.

Until next time, **Remus.**

**Kelsey's Diary 6:48p****m 23****rd**** September 1972**

Well, I don't usually write much, but today I actually have something awesome to write about.

Well, I remember writing on my birthday about a certain present I got.

A book.

Well today while everyone else was in the library (why on earth are they in the library!) I decided to get it out again.

It's quite big, about 40 centimeters when open and 30 centimeters tall, and I can tell it is very old, at least 10 years, but preserved by magic so it's in almost-perfect condition.

I have a feeling I could flush I down the toilet and it would be ok.

So I sat down on my bed and opened the book to a random page.

It was empty.

No words, no pictures, nothing.

I remembered the note:

_Kelsey,_

_I know you love reading, but this is a different type of book._

_It'll show you what ever you want to see._

_Don't ask where I got it – I'm not going to tell you._

_But it's yours now._

_Happy Birthday._

It'll show me whatever I want…

So I gripped the edges of the book and said, loudly and clearly, 'Show me Lily Evans'.

Pages immediately started whipping around and came to a rest on a page close to the front.

Colours began to fade in on the page, forming a picture.

It showed Lily, Sav and Bee in the library, working on Transfiguration homework.

My eyes widened in shock, and I gasped.

I saw Lily's lips moving, and Sav shake her head.

Without thinking, I said, 'Is there sound?' and immediately I could hear Lily saying, 'No, the wand movement is like _this_.' while demonstrating a kind of swish/jab.

I jumped, and the book fell closed on the bed.

I know diary, wow.

Slowly, I gathered up the book and said, 'Show me whoever gave me this book.'

I wasn't sure whether I was allowed to say that or not, but sure enough the pages whipped around and turned to what looked like the same page, but without the picture of the girls.

Again, colours appeared on the page, showing me a picture of no one less than _Sirius Black_.

He was lying on his bed, facing James and talking.

I could see his lips moving, and he seemed kind of upset about something.

I wasn't sure about whether was polite or not to listen in, but I decided that:

He was the one that gave me the book, and therefore must have realized that I might have looked him up.

I wouldn't tell anyone, and I might be able to help.

So, I looked into the picture and said, 'Sound' loudly and clearly.

At once I heard Sirius saying, '… my mum doesn't even look at me and my dad starts giving insults about Gryffindor whenever I'm in the room. The only person in my family who is remotely ok is Andromeda, who is going to get married and probably disowned for marrying a Muggle-born, so I don't know when I'll ever see her. Regulus is now the families pride and joy for getting into Slytherin, and he must've gotten at least 5 different gifts from different family members, and I feel like I've failed as a brother for not protecting him from it. Yea, and the adults of my family, even Narcissa, looks like they're in almost a cult. That's my life, how's yours?'

I saw James' expression of shock, and I slammed the book closed, feeling really guilty for listening in.

It was obviously something I wasn't meant to hear.

So I decided to look for something else.

One more thing before I put it away.

I opened it to the middle, and said, 'Show me the future'

Pages whirled again, and finally stopped on the very last page.

A picture faded in – of Lily.

She was sitting on her bed, crying her eyes out, all of us around her, trying to comfort her.

She was hurting – bad.

She looked the same as she does now; it obviously isn't so far away.

Then it morphed

The next one I saw was just of me, Lily and Sav, sitting down, shocked.

There were tears in our eyes, and you could almost see the pain.

We looked a lot older than we are now, 2 or 3 years.

The last one was the worst of all.

It was Sirius, almost grown up; it looked like he was in his last year.

He was clutching something long and limp in his arms, and he was _crying_.

I'd never seen so much pain, even counting the other two visions.

He seemed to be shouting something, but this time I didn't want to know what he was saying.

I'd seen too much already.

I dropped the book in horror, and sat there, dazed.

What's going to happen that will cause everyone so much pain?

_**Kelsey.**_

**Lily's Diary 7:12p****m 23****rd**** September 1972**

Not much happened today.

I got an owl from Mummy saying that she went to the baby-doctor today.

The baby's due on the 12th of December.

She says she doesn't want to know anything about the baby until he or she comes, so the doctors haven't told her anything they saw in the ultrasound.

I don't know either.

None of our family does.

We love surprises.

But I just know it's going to be a boy.

I can imagine a little boy with black hair, like Daddy, and green eyes, like me and Mum have.

I'd love to be a big sister.

I'm so used to being the baby; _I_ want to look after someone _else_ for a change.

I'll try and be a good sister.

Remus left to visit his mother in St Mungos.

He says she's very sick, and he has to go visit her every month.

I told her to tell her I hope she gets better soon, and he gave me kind of a grimace that I think was suppose to be a smile.

But I've been wondering for a while.

Remus goes to visit her every month.

But it's at random times.

Not even just always on the weekend, or always on the same date every month.

It completely random, except for the fact that they're all quite far away from each other.

Like 28 days apart.

But for some reason I just _know _there has to be a connection.

I also know that the week before he has to go, he seems to… withdraw a bit.

Talk less, smile less, and just do stuff less.

I always thought it was just because he was sad to visit him mum when she was so sick.

But maybe it's something more.

I'm just not sure what.

But when Sav, Bee and I came back from the library today, Kelsey seemed kind of out of it.

She barely paid attention to anything we said, and seemed to be worrying about something.

Whenever we asked if she was ok, she'd assure us she was fine.

But she kept looking at me like I was about to start crying or something.

I wonder what was with her.

But I've noticed something.

Suddenly she's become a lot shyer around Sirius.

They used to talk heaps (but I knew he liked her anyway), but now she kind of goes really quiet when he's in the room, and tries to avoid looking at him unless she has to.

And I know she's not mad at him, because it's not silent treatment – it's more like embarrassment.

Maybe she likes him too.

That's so _cute!_

But something tells me one day he's going to hurt her.

Bad.

Oh, it's my turn for the shower.

Love, _**Lily.**_

**Regulus' Diary 7:54p****m 23****rd**** September 1972**

It's almost the end of my first month at Hogwarts.

It's been pretty cool.

Hogwarts is _huge!_

I still get lost sometimes, when I'm wandering around.

The only thing I regret is Sirius.

He doesn't like me any more.

We used to have such fun, even after he started going to Hogwarts.

During the holidays we'd play for _hours_, and he'd tell me all about Hogwarts and Gryffindor and his friends.

I was so confused at that time.

Mother and Father telling me that Slytherin was the best, that it was what I was destined for (whatever that means) and that I would bring honor to the Black name by being there, but Sirius told me that Slytherin is evil.

He told me that all the Gryffindors are good, and are really nice to everyone and kind and accepting, but Slytherins are bullies who pick on everyone who aren't pure-bloods.

I was so surprised.

'But Sirius.' I asked him. 'Pure-bloods are the best. People like mud-bloods don't deserve to be magical. Pure-bloods are always better than them.'

It's obvious that that's the way it is.

This time Sirius looked shocked. 'No, you've got it wrong!' he insisted. 'Muggle-borns have just as much right as we do. Sometimes they're better than us! There's a girl called Lily Evans, and she's the smartest girl in the year, and she's muggle-born.' Then he looked at me. 'And don't call them mud-bloods. It's extremely rude. Most Gryffindors would hex you on sight if you said that.'

Then I was even more confused.

'But I thought you said Gryffindors were nice, and that Slytherins hexed and cursed people.' I reminded him.

'Yes.' He said patiently. 'But Gryffindors will only hex you if you do something wrong. They're sticking up for their friends. If someone said an insult to our family, what would you do?'

I told him I'd probably attack them, and he nodded and said, 'Exactly. That's what the Gryffindors are doing.'

I was still puzzled, but I nodded and told him I understood.

But now that I'm in Slytherin, he barely talks to me any more.

I overheard him telling his friends once, 'He's become one of _them_.'

What does he mean one of them?

I'm still his brother.

Aren't I?

_Aren't I?_

What if he doesn't think I'm his brother any more?

Just because I'm in the house he hates?

He never talks to me.

He ignores me now.

But I think he's sad.

I'm pretty good at reading facial expressions, and I know when Sirius is sad.

Whenever he looks at me he's sad.

One day I'll make him proud.

One day, I'll make him happy to say that I was his brother.

You'll see.

Well, not really because you're only a diary.

Why am I even writing in a diary?

Diaries are stupid.

OK, this is now officially a journal.

Even if this is a journal, it's still stupid.

I'll probably never write in it again.

Well, journal, goodbye.

**Regulus.**

**Reviews? I know that chapter was kind of short, but it was necessary to introduce some future plots. Have fun trying to work them out!**


	29. Secret Meetings, Plots and Feelings

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**Ok guys, sorry for not updating faster, I'm going through writers block (which happens in between major plots). Ideas are appreciated! Also, I've given you the diary of someone who... doesn't come up a lot. Not at all, actually. Find out who!**

**Even wishes at 11:11 haven't changed the fact that I don't own Harry Potter.**

Chapter 29 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

**Bee's Diary 5:30pm 13****th ****October 1972**

Today's my birthday!

I'm the youngest in my year, I only turned 12 today.

My parents managed to pull some strings to get me in early – I said I'd rather be the youngest than the oldest.

And also this year group is perfectly situated.

My holidays were pretty cool.

I went around to Mulicber's house, but he wasn't allowed to see me.

It was a secret meeting.

I'm so honored that I'm allowed to go.

That I was chosen.

But my friends were awesome.

Sav gave me a pack of Self-Shuffling Cards, Exploding Snap and Gobstones.

Kind of boring, I know, but I pretended to really like it.

Kelsey gave me a luck bracelet she brought back from Thailand.

It's woven with yellow, gold and silver string, and apparently some famous wizard dipped in a luck potion, so it'll be lucky.

Kelsey also added a little star charm on it, made out of amber.

But Lily's present was kind of…weird.

It was a muggle thing, and she said she really liked them so maybe I would too.

Something called a Rubex cube?

Rubix cube?

Something like that.

You have to make all the faces of the cube have the same colour, by twisting the faces and edges and stuff.

Lily made it look easy, but after 10 minutes or so I got bored.

It's like the worst present ever, but of course I pretended to like it.

I'm going to like chuck it out the window tonight or something.

Say that I lost it and pretend to be sorry.

I'm very good at pretending.

But I've kind of been confunding Lily a bit lately.

She _cares_ too much!

It's so annoying!

And Kelsey's been looking... different lately.

Like she knows something.

Like she's waiting for something to happen.

Especially to Lily.

But I don't know _what_!

And I want to know.

I have to know.

I asked her about it, but she just denied it.

And I can tell she's hiding something from us.

All of us, even Lily and Sav.

Anyway, the Halloween Ball is coming up.

We're allowed to go this year, only first years aren't allowed too.

We don't go with partners; we all just turn up and dance with whoever.

I hope that Snape and James don't start fighting over Lily again this time.

Then again, it was kind of funny when they started that fist-fight when they could've just pulled their wands out and dueled.

But why _Lily_?

I mean, there are so many other girls, such as _moi_, to be fought over, why _her_?

She's a mud- I mean, Muggle-born!

I'm, well, _me._

Pure-blooded, beautiful, smart, ambitious, and well cunning, of course.

Not loyal so much.

That's a useless quality.

Loyalty just makes u feel bad if you hurt your friends.

People are better off without it.

Bravery's stupid too.

Why stick around when you'll die when you could run away and live?

It's stupid.

All my life I've been taught that-

Oh I have to go.

The girls are discussing costumes for the dance – it's fancy dress!

Tootles, Bee

**Mulciber's Diary 5:57pm 13****th ****October 1972**

Well, we're back at Hogwarts.

Being back with my friends is cool.

It's really boring being around adults who ignore you all holidays at some stupid meeting, which they _never_ do.

I'm _always _the center of attention.

_Always!_

But no, these holidays it was all 'Eguine, go play outside honey.' and 'Eguine, what are you doing in here! You know you're not allowed. Outside, now!' and blah blah blah.

The weirdest thing is that I think I saw that Malfis girl.

I was up early and wandering around the front yard when I saw the fireplace flash green and a tall woman with blonde hair stepped out, then a boy who looked strangely familiar, then a tall blonde man, and then a girl, who looked _exactly_ like Malfis from the back.

Why are those kids allowed?

Although the boy looks quite old, maybe he is overage.

But it can't have been Malfis, she's a Gryffindor, and no Gryffindor will _ever_ set foot in my house.

Ever.

And anyway, my mum said no kids, so she wouldn't be allowed in.

Even my cousin who's 15 wasn't allowed.

He goes to Daurmstrang.

I wish I was at Daurmstrang.

They learn the Dark Arts!

Why bother learning how to stop them when using them would be so much more effective?

It's silly.

Well, I was wrong about Severus.

He is a proper Slytherin.

It just took time to realize it.

Yea, so what if he hangs out with a Gryffindor mud-blood once in a while?

He's a true Slytherin.

And Avery is too.

Even more so.

He's cunning, always making up plans to catch the Gryffindors (but actually Sev is better at that, especially when Potter is involved)

And he wants to be on the Slytherin Quiddich team with me.

I want to be a chaser; he wants to be a seeker or a beater.

Mainly seeker, I think.

We all hate Potter and his little 'gang'.

They think they're so cool, when all they do is go around and hex Slytherins.

Especially Sev.

We don't know why, though I have a suspicion it's something to do with that Evans mud-blood.

Avery does too, but we don't tell Sev, because he'll always deny it.

My parents like Avery and Sev too.

They said something about them 'being useful in future'

Apparently Sev has a lot of potential, but in what I don't know.

They're not telling me _anything_!

It's so annoying!

But anyway, enough about that.

The Halloween Ball is coming up, and even though I pretend otherwise, I really want to go.

We said we'd dress up as animals for a joke, but I really like it.

I'm going as a snake.

At least, my mum made me a suit out of snakeskin, so I'm wearing that.

She even bought me this stuff to rub on my tongue which will make it a snake's for 5 hours.

It'll be awesome.

Sev's going as a bat, and Avery's a spider.

He's going to have fangs and everything, and will enchant fake arms to make around.

I know it seems kind of stupid and 'too into it' to be dressing up this much, but we saw the older kids last year getting _way more _into it.

I guess it's just a chance to let go and not worry about what other people think of you.

Uh, I mean, it'll be fun, and, um, great to tease the Hufflepuff.

Yea I have to go...

**Mulicber.**

**Savannah's Diary 7:03pm 13****th ****October 1972**

Well I'm not really what to say about my life.

It's been pretty fun so far, getting back to school and whatever.

But I've just been feeling left out of _everything_.

My friends don't really hear what I say, or listen to anything.

Whenever I'm just about to say something, Bee always buts in, and once I saw Lily look at me, and seemed to be about to ask if I was ok, but then her eyes went funny and she walked off.

Like she'd been confunded almost, but she couldn't have, why would anyone confund _Lily_?

But yea, whenever I've been talking to Kelsey, I'll be in the middle of a story and she'll rush off to talk to Bee, without even caring that I was trying to talk to her.

It's almost as if she finds me boring, or just doesn't want to talk to me.

I don't know _what_ to feel.

Lily is usually so caring, but she seems not to even notice that I've been upset lately, which is really unlike her.

The weirdest thing is that Bee seems to be _pleased_ that I've been kind of left out, as if it was what she was hoping for.

Why would she want to feel like that?

We were so close before, like really tight, but now she seems to not like talking to me at all.

What's up with that?

I'm scared to talk to Lily and Kelsey and Bee about it.

I mean, yea it'll be all ok if they didn't realize they were doing it, and were going to stop and include me now, but what if they were meaning to?

What if they were purposely leaving me out, because they didn't want to talk to me?

What if they were just, bored of being my friend?

What would I do then?

I'm sharing a dorm with them, what if they told me they didn't want to be friends?

Who would I be friends with?

They seem like the only people who get who I am, and who accept me.

I fitted right in with them, like I was meant to be there.

What if they didn't think so?

Uh, I'm so confused!

Maybe this'll all just go away.

Maybe it'll fix itself.

I hope so.

But I think one of the reasons I'm like the 'listener' in my group is because I know what it's like to not be listened too.

I like to be the person who's always there, to help you and make you feel better when you're sad, and I think that's the reason.

I don't want anyone else to have to know what it's like to not be listened to.

But anyway.

I'm rambling on about things that aren't really important.

There's a Halloween Ball.

We haven't decided what we're going as yet.

Maybe the Seasons?

Well, something that means we could all be the same but different.

Bee would be Winter (she looks great in light colours), I'd be Spring, Kelsey'd be Summer and Lily'd be Autumn.

We're not sure yet though.

Maybe the elements.

Maybe.

Depends what other 'fours' we can think of.

And before you ask, the Halloween Ball isn't _all_ about being scary.

Lots of people go as nice things, just to dress up.

I'm not sure what the boys are going as though.

Probably something outrageous.

Oh well.

I have to go now.

I'll probably be ignored again though.

Ily, _**Sav.**_

**Petunia's Diary 7:33pm 13****th ****October 1972**

I never usually write in diaries.

I always thought they were stupid, y'know?

But lately I've just needed an output.

My life completely sucks.

My baby sister has been, I don't know what the word is, like _brainwashed_ her!

And that Snape boy too.

We used to be best friends.

Sure we fought a little, (what sisters wouldn't?) but mostly we were really close.

Then she had to go and be a We... a Wit... a FREAK!

I can't even write it.

What happened to my baby sister?

She was always a little different, but I thought it was normal.

Then she, well, became a FREAK!

But I've already said that.

And mum and dad were so proud, and they like completely forgot about me!

It was always 'Lily this' and 'Lily that' and 'Oh I'm so proud of Lily!'

Just because she got into some freak school without trying!

They didn't even blink an eyelid when I got into one of the best High Schools around!

No, it was 'That's great Petunia' and left it.

And when Lily came back for the holidays she was so excited, showing everyone all the things she learnt that year (well, not exactly _showed_ because she can't use magic outside of school).

She was talking about all her friends, and then asked if she could invite them camping with us!

Dad said yes straight away, not even having to think about it like he did when _I _asked.

And when Lily tried to talk to me, I just shut myself in my room.

I know its mean, I know she'll think I hate her, but what can I do?

I'm only mean to hide what I feel inside: hurt, betrayal and even a little jealous.

Why was it Lily that was 'chosen'!

Why not me?

What's wrong with _me!_

I could do all those things too, but _no_, magic had to go and choose Lily instead!

I even asked Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, but he said I couldn't.

He said it very nicely though.

He seems ok, even for a freak.

But know I've taken to doing wild, crazy things to get my parents attention.

I've had 23 boyfriends in the past year.

The longest one lasted a month and a bit.

My parents don't really notice.

Well, once I saw them talking about it.

I woke up early and I heard them downstairs, worrying about me.

My dad wants to stop me having a boyfriend until I'm 16.

My mum thinks they should let me make my own decisions.

When I heard that I realized they _did_ care (even if only a little), and I stopped going to such drastic measures.

But some of the boys I _do_ like.

I mean Jake was ok.

But I guess that most of them were just to get my parents attention.

And one of the boys was using me to get another girl jealous.

I wish I could say I was angry, but really I was kind of doing the same thing.

But they got together, so I'm happy about that.

But I'm glad mum's pregnant again.

I'll get to be the big sister again!

She'll be the proper little sister, unlike Lily.

But I really miss Lily.

I want to just forget all about it, but I'm too scared.

I've pretended to hate her for so long; I don't know how to accept it!

*sigh*

I have to go.

I probably won't write again.

_**Petunia**_

* * *

**_So what does everyone think? And tell me what ideas you have or what you want them to wear, if you have something funny or completely random in mind i'd love to hear it. Thanks everyone!_**


	30. The Halloween Ball

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Here's the Ball! Sorry about it taking so long, I was away for a week. I know that's not a good enough excuse, but hopefully the story will be good enough that you'll all forgive me. Well, I've already had a fist-fight between James and Sev over Lily, so that's not going to happen, but read and see what happens this time! And yes, the costumes are very 'out there' but I figured, well, It's the wizarding world, It's a lot easier to make eccentric costumes! And yes again, It may seem a bit grown up for 12 year olds, but I figure most of you would like moments like these, whether they're 12 or not. One more thing - sorry if there's heaps of spelling mistakes and puntuation problems, but I don't have Microsoft Word at the moment or any type of spell checking device, and it was a choice between waiting (another) week, or uploading it too you guys now.

Even wishes at 11:11 haven't changed the fact that I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter 30 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

**James' Diary 3:45pm 31st October 1972**

Well, today's the Halloween Ball.

I had a really hard time thinking of what I was going to come as.

I mean, Halloween is all about scary stuff, and I'm not scared of anything.

Well, except one thing.

But I mean, who isn't?

Anyone that's ever experienced them will tell you they're terrified!

Even my dad was.

Dementors.

I mean, the word isn't so scary, but once when I was 5 and I was with my dad who was going to a hearing there were dementors.

Because my mum was visiting her sister and there was no one else to babysit me.

He told me to sit in the corner and wait for the hearing to finish, so I did.

But there was a cage In the middle of the room, like this criminal, and there were dementors around the edge of the room to make sure nothing got out of hand.

But as we walked in I felt this chill, and this horrible empty feeling inside.

It kept flashing all these horrible things that had happened, all the horrible thought, dreams and experiences I'd had.

But they seriously scared me.

So, I decided to come as a dementor.

I've even learnt a chilling charm (it's not as strong as a freezing charm, so it's easier to learn) so that when I dance with people I can make them all cold and stuff.

It wears off after a couple of seconds though.

I'm so going to have the coolest costume.

But, I have to admit, Sirius' would've been the funniest.

He asked what he should be, so I asked him what is one of the things he is scared of.

'I'm not scared of any-' he started, but broke off as a certain thought hit him.

He looked around, making sure nobody was listening, before bursting out laughing.

It took him 5 minutes to stop laughing so I could ask him what is it that was so funny about being dressed up as something scary.

In between giggles (yes, Sirius, giggled) he said two words.

"My... *giggle* mother...' *giggle*

Then I started laughing and we couldn't stop.

Just the thought of Sirius pretending to be his mother set us off laughing again.

For a while he actually wanted to be her, but I managed to convince him not to.

So I'm not sure what he's going as now.

Peter's going as a Slytherin.

Remus' idea.

We're stealing some of their robes.

We all thought that Slytherins are very horrible creatures and deserve to be shown at a Halloween Ball.

But the weird thing was Remus' costume.

i thought for a while at what he should be, just running through scary creatures in my head and I looked up eagerly and asked him, Sirius and Peter,

'What about a werewolf!'

Sirius and Peter nodded, saying it was a great idea, and saying that we should look up all about werewolves in the library so we can get a good description, but Remus went pale, like seriously ghost-like, and started shaking his head frantically, stuttering in his rush to say no.

'N-no, I-i don't want to be a we-werewolf, w-why would I b-be one of those? Why d-did you think of t-that anyway? N-no, just no!'

We all stared.

'Remus are you ok?' I asked 'I wasn't saying anything, I was just going through scary creatures in my head... It was just a suggestion. If you don't want to that's fine though...'

I was very confused at that point of time.

Remus is always calm and collected.

He took a deep breath and shook his head one more time.

'No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off at you like that. I guess I just never thought of being a were... one of those. Maybe I could get all the info and you guys could help me make a costume?'

We all agreed, happy that Remus was over his brief panic-attack.

But I still have no idea what that was about.

But I didn't want to press him on it.

Oh!

I can't believe I forgot!

How could I be so stupid!

It's like the most awesome news on the face of the planet!

I, James, am the new chaser for the Gryffindor team.

Surprise!

Well, not really, I knew I'd get in, but still.

It happened ages ago, I just forgot to say.

Best of all, me getting the spot meant that Robert Clint got kicked off!

He's in 3rd year now, a year older than me, but he's really rude and is all 'I'm hot and I know it'.

He acts like he's a god and stuff, but he's really self-centred and arrogant.

But Sirius didn't get in.

I guess It's just because they already have two beaters that have been on the team for like 4 or 5 years, and they don't want to get rid of them.

Sirius is really good though.

But I have to go now, my outfit needs to be finished.

Later, James.

**Lily's Diary 6:55pm 31****th ****October 1972**

I'm so excited!

It's the Halloween Ball!

There's no partners for this one, you just turn up and dance with whoever you like.

I'm so excited - I just got back from dinner, and the Great Hall is almost completely transformed!

They had to wait to take the tables out, of course, but the sky (well, enchanted sky) shows a full moon, with little whispy clouds everywhere.

There's floating candles everywhere (above our heads of course!), and a few pumpkins too.

I passed a couple of dorms on my way here who were getting ready.

Some were ugly witches from Muggle fairy tales, but I saw a fith year dressing up as a fairy, and her friend was a princess.

I cant wait to see Sev's costume.

He wont tell me what he's dressing up as, and It's really annoying me!

I hate secrets.

We all spent _ages_ on our dresses.

Well, we bought them, but that took time too!

And, of course, we made modifications.

We decided to go as the elements after all.

Bee's fire, Kelsey's air, Sav's water and I'm nature.

I was going to go as earth, but nature's almost the same thing and it's so much prettier.

Bee's dress is so bright!

It looks a lot like Tinkerbell's, from Peter Pan, but it's red at the bottom, orange in the middle and yellow at the top.

The colours kind of half blend into each other, and they're half solid and spiky, like flames

It used to be all the same length at the bottom, and have straps to hold it up, but Bee modified the bottom so the longest part went a little lower than mid-thigh and the shortest part just under the top of her leg, in a zig zag fashion, and she cut off the straps (magic can make anything look like it was supposed to happen).

She even put a red streak in her hair, and it actually really suits her.

We all agreed that we'd wear a _little_ make up (well actually Bee convinced us that we should), just to help with our costumes, so she has bright red lipstick and orange eye shadow that goes up almost to her eyebrow.

Her nails are multi-coloured red, orange and yellow.

Kelsey's is really pretty too - It's a light grey/blue colour.

It's shimmery, and has a really thin, almost transparant bit of white material over the skirt part of the dress.

It goes up to ker knees, and when she spins around it flows out.

We spent a whole half hour trying to convince her to wear clear lip gloss and a little glitter over her eyelashes, but she wouldnt.

She refuses.

Sav's is quite simple.

Well, when we bought the dress it was.

When we bought it, it was just a pale blue dress that went straight to the floor.

Now, it starts off light at the top and by her waist it's dark blue.

At the top of her thigh we cut it up into heaps of think strips (it took ages!), that are all different shades of blue.

It's really pretty.

It's almost strappless - but there's a cord around her neck which is like a kind of strap.

And mine, well -

Oh.

I have to go!

It's my turn to use the bathroom - I have to get it before Bee or she's take like an hour.

Love, _**Lily**_

**Severus' Diary 10:21pm 31****th ****October 1972**

The Ball was honestly amazing.

The Great Hall was transformed, and so were the people.

No more students in uniform, but animals, undead, monsters, and even nice things like fairies and stuff.

Well, no students except for Pettigrew.

He stole some robes and came as a Slytherin.

I thought it was pretty funny actually, but my friends were really angry so I pretended to be as well.

Potter was a dementor.

How unimaginaive,

He went around charming anyone he went close to, some sort of chilling charm.

I'm sure he purposely charmed me continuously.

Black was just an undead, again unimaginative.

But it doesnt take much to dress him up as one.

That Lupin boy was a werewolf.

He had the fake ears, tail, muzzle, claws, everything.

It was kind of obvious It was a costume though.

My friends and I practically transfigured ourselves.

Avery was a spider - he was dressed In all black with a red lightning bolt shaped thing on his back.

He even make 6 other fake arms, and asked Flitwick to help him charm them into coppying is real arm movements one after the other, in like a cannon.

Mulciber was a snake.

Like, almost actually a snake.

His eyes, tounge and body looked almost exactly like one.

When he put his arms by his side It looked like he didnt have any.

It was super cool.

I was a bat.

I made fake wings and attacked them to my arms, so whenever I spread my arms I had wings.

It was awesome.

But I swear I almost fell over when I saw Lily.

She entered the Great Hall with her other friends, Mal- I mean Bianca, Kelsey and Savannah, but I barely noticed them.

They were all dressed as the elements or something.

Fire, Air and Water.

But thats all I noticed from their costumes.

You know like on TV when everything seems to go in slow motion?

Yes I swear that happened.

She was a flower.

And I dont mean that In a comparing-her-to-the-beauty-of-a-flower way.

I mean litterally a flower.

The skirt part of her dress was leaf green, and was kind of flowwy.

If thats a word.

The top part looked like flower petals, like a lily.

The edge was white, and the middle of It was a yellow/orange colour.

it started at her hips where It smudged from green to white and orange, and It flowed up In petals.

So It looked kind of like a V-neck from the front, but at the back It only went up to just above her mid-back.

There were what looked like vines that came from the top of the petals at the front, which I assumes were actually supposed to be straps, but instead of joining at the back they swirled down her arm and ended at a point on the back of her hand.

Her hair was up in a bun, with little strands floating down to frame her face, which was blushing furiously and laughing at something Kelsey had said to her.

She was beautiful.

The only thing I could do for a couple of seconds was blink and stare, but eventually I remembered how to move and turned to ask my friends if I could meet up with them later.

I didnt need to say anything - they had seen my face, and Muliber looked like he was going to start crying.

Thats how hard he was trying to stop from laughing.

Avery just rolled his eyes and said,

'Go dance with the mudblood. We'll see you later'

He dragged Muliber away and they collapsed into silent giggles.

I was pretty happy they didnt mind me going off with Lily.

Even if he did call her a mudblood.

I tried to remember how to talk as I walked over, trying to keep my voice normal.

We had a couple of dances (with Poter glaring at me the whole time I am happy to say) before my friends came and claimed me again.

They were pretty well behaved about it too.

They didnt call her mudblood, and were very polite.

I'm glad.

Maybe Slytherins and Gryffindors can be friends after all.

i went back up to my dorm pretty early, I wanted to write about this before my friends got here.

They said something about going to the lake.

But I can hear them coming now, I'd better stop.

Until next time, **Sev**.

**Kelsey's Diary 11:09pm 31****th ****October 1972**

Today was one of the best nights of my life.

Apart from the 45 minute session of my friends trying to convince me to wear makeup(I do not wear make up! Ever!), It was amazing.

I swear like half of the boys in 3rd year and almost all of the boys in our year turned and stared at us as we walked in.

Even a few in fourth year.

And we're 12!

They were probably looking at Lily or Bee though.

I caught sight of James with his mouth wide open staring at her, and nudged Lily to point it out.

She blushed so hard it matched her hair.

Then she smiled and pointed out how Sirius was staring at me.

She started laughing, but I didnt think that was very fair.

I mean, I didnt laugh at her!

Sure, I giggled, but thats different.

I pretened to wave it off, but I was actually pretty happy Sirius noticed me.

Even if he was an undead person.

Then Severus came over and asked Lily to dance.

He was dressed as a bat, and I have to say I think it suited him.

Sav and I have kind of got used to the idea that Severus and Lily are friends, and as long as he isn't mean to her we dont mind it.

Not sure about Bee though.

She didnt look very happy.

But as Lily walked off with Severus, I saw James standing half way between where he was standing and us, glaring at Severus.

I dont think he was very happy.

As I walked over to get some punch, I passed him and whispered,

'Do _not_ start annother fight. You can dance with Lily later.'

I didnt see his reaction, I was too busy walking and trying to pretend I hadnt said anything.

Sav looked at me questioningly, she notices everything, but I just shook my head.

I had a couple of dances with a boy from Hufflepuff who just wouldnt leave me alone before I managed to leave, and walked quickly away.

We got to the punch table and I was about to grab a drink, but someone behind me said,

'You might not want any of that, Kelse.'

It was Sirius, no one else calls me Kelse, and so I turned and said,

'Why not?'

He shrugged. 'I'm just assuming you dont like Squirt. All the punch has got some in it. I found that out the hard way.'

He's right, I dont like Squirt.

It's one of those drinks that most people hate it, and a few people absolutely love it.

I put the cup back on the table.

'Thanks.' I said.

I walked over to the end table where they were serving pumpkin juice instead of punch, so I took some of that.

Sirius followed me and took some too.

I rolled my eyes at him.

'Do you have a reason for following me, or are you just being annoying?' I asked.

He grinned nervously (yes, the great Sirius Black did something nervously) and said,

'Well, acually I was going to ask you to dance. If you wanted to of course. I mean if you dont want to it's fine. I'd completely understand if you didn't want to, absolutely.'

He looked like he was going to ramble on for quite a bit, so I quickly said,

'Ok.'

He stopped mid-word and said, 'Really?'

I laughed.

'No Sirius, I said ok and I dont actually want to dance at all.' I replied sarcastically.

'Ahh. Right.' He mumbled.

He composed himself and then smiled again, and offered his arm.

I chuckled.

'Always the gentleman' I said.

'Well, I can be polite as well as devilishly handsome and a rebel you know.' He replied.

'Yea you wish' I muttered, but allowed myself to be led into the very centre of the Great Hall.

He put an arm on my waist and grabbed my hand.

He waited and I remembered I was supposed to put my hand on his shoulder.

'Whoops' I said, and quickly lifted my arm.

As the song was starting I whispered,

'Just giving you advance notice - I'm a terrible dancer'

He laughed.

'Well that doesnt matter, I'm an amazing dancer.'

I rolled my eyes.

'Sure sure' I said, but we started spinning and I realised it was true.

'Where did you learn to dance like this?' I asked.

We'd had a few lessons in the common room, but that was just to learn the basics, and no one really absorbed it all anyway.

'Lets just say that dancing is a skill the Black family considers important.' He replied stiffly.

'Ahh' was all I said, trying to keep my balance from all the spinning.

I looked over his shoulder to see Bee and Sav smiling at me, clapping.

I poked my tounge out at them, and they disapeared as Sirius turned again.

And again.

And again.

'Woah...' I murmered. 'Dizzy...'

Sirius stopped spinning.

'Right. Sorry. Do you want to go sit outside?'

I nodded, and Sirius led me onto a seat outside.

'You ok?' He asked, and I nodded.

We sat outside for a while, just talking.

'I like your costume.' he added after a while. 'Very... air like.'

I glanced up at him In surprise.

'You're the first person who's got that.' I said. 'Everyone's guessed Bee's, and Lily's is kind of obvious too, but you're the only person who's got mine.'

He just shrugged, and looked like he was about to say something else, but he was interupted by some Ravenclaw girl who wanted a dance.

Sirius nodded, but looked unhappy.

'I'll see you later!' I called as he was dragged away.

Almost at once Bee, Lily and Sav appeared next to me.

'Excellent! It worked! Finally we can pry you away from Sirius!' Bee crowed.

I frowned as I realised what they meant.

'Wait, you asked her to come and ask Sirius to dance!' I asked. 'Guys!... I mean, um, well it doesnt really matter.'

Lily rolled her eyes and said,

'Come on, we've got something to show you.' She said, and they led me over to the lake.

We sat on the bank and waited, and eventually we saw a large shape appear in the middle.

'Finally!' Sav said. 'We thought it was never going to come back.'

It rose like a giant lump on top of the lake, and as I saw tenticles rising around I realised it was the giant squid.

'Woah...' I murmured.

Then I stopped and looked harder at the tenticles rising and falling In the air.

'Wait is it... dancing?' I asked slowly.

Bee nodded and we all laughed at this strange sight.

There wasnt much light, the moon was really thin and only a small amount of light reaches the lake from the Great Hall, so we couldnt see much of it, but there was a pretty cool sillouette.

We stood up, ready to go back to the dance.

Suddenly we all four of us were pushed forward into the lake.

'Ahhhh!' we screamed, as we landed on our faces in the waist-deep water.

We sat up, Sav taking a clump of weed of her head.

We saw two boys running off, and in their costumes they were easy to Identify - Avery and Mulciber.

'Well that ruins our perfect Cinderella ending' I said, and we laughed, dispite the fact that we were now cold and wet and had to get back to our dorms quickly so our costumes wouldnt be ruined.

We snuck around the back so we could get into our dorm unseen.

I only just got dry and warm, and everyone else is asleep now.

So I should go.

Bye, _**Kelsey.**_

* * *

**Thanks for reading it everybody! And special thanks to AnonymousMSQ and Nikki Ride for reviewing almost every review faithfully, and SorrowRose, Random Sox, PicklettThePickle and Sophie for reviewing almost every chapter too!**

**Just a question to everyone else out there: What type of things do YOU guys want to see in a story? I can put in all of the things that I like, but i want it to connect with the readers more. What type of things make you want to read stories, or like certain stories?**

**Thanks again!**

**Alysa**


	31. Sirius' Surprise

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

I hope you like this chapter! I'm starting to get more ideas, so I hope that I'll be able to write faster now. Enjoy!

If J.K. Rowling reads this, PLEASE leave me the rights to own Harry Potter! Then I'll be able to say I do own it, because at the moment, I only wish I did.

Chapter 31 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

**Kelsey's Diary 3:45pm 18th November 1972**

Today is going to be an awesome day.

We (meaning Lily, Sav, Bee, James, Remus, Peter and I) are planning a surprise party for Sirius.

It's going to start at 8 in the boys' dorm, and the whole year's invited.

Frank said we could use his dorm too, for extra space, which was really nice of him.

I didn't really know Frank much until the ball; I bumped into him in the common room while in my soaking wet dress.

He offered to dry it for me, but when he tried it really only just got rid of the excess water, leaving it damp.

But I was quite impressed - not many second years can even do magic like that.

A couple of the Slytherins were teasing him about his name (Longbottom isn't _that_ bad a name... hehe), but they won't mess with him again.

They were in the hospital wing for two nights.

But anyway.

I went down with James to the kitchens (I was organising food, but I didn't know the way) while Sirius was in the library.

At least we thought he was.

James reached out and tickled the pear, and I grabbed it as it became a doorknob, opening and turning to laugh at James about the funny way of getting into the kitchens.

But, believe it or not, I took a step forward and stepped right into Sirius.

Of course.

I hadn't really spoken to him much since the ball; I don't know why but somehow we'd both been pretty busy.

'Sirius!' I almost shouted in surprise. 'You're here!'

His eyes travelled from me to James, who was stepping inside behind me, his mouth opening and closing continuously as he tried to think of a reason for being here with me.

'Sirius, mate, we just didn't expect to see you here... I thought you were in the library with Remus.' James said.

'I was, until I got bored and slipped out when Remus wasn't looking. Sorry if I'm disturbing something...' his eyes narrowed as he looked at James.

James looked as if he didn't know what to say, so I said the first thing that came into my head.

'We were just looking for you!' I said. 'The girls and I decided that we wanted to give Bee a surprise party, because she didn't really have much of a party before, and we were inviting you too it!'

His eyes moved back to me, still suspicious.

'And you're planning to do this a whole month _after_ her birthday? On my- um, _this_ particular day?' He asked.

'Well, there was a lot of fuss to do with the Halloween Ball that meant we couldn't do it until now. How was Jennifer Dodds by the way, speaking of the ball?'

His eyes widened in surprise that I'd mentioned the Ravenclaw girl he'd danced with after me.

'She was great. Good dancer too. Really pretty. I'm just about to go talk to her now' He added the last bit as an afterthought, and for some reason the words sounded a bit harsh.

My eyes widened in surprise.

'Well, have fun with that. Come on James.'

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him past Sirius.

'Wait, Sirius, do you want to help us choose food? I'm not entirely sure what Bee likes...' James tried to say.

'I do.' I retorted. 'Leave Sirius to Jennifer, you can see he'd rather be with her than m- us.'

Sirius glared at us and walked out without another word.

I tried to drag James into the kitchen with me, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

'What was that about?' He asked.

'Nothing' I said quietly, and tried to walk away, but he kept hold of my arm.

'Whatever that was, it wasn't nothing.' He paused. 'It would be great if you explained. I'm kind of confused.' He added.

I rolled my eyes.

'What ever you are, you're not confused.' I retorted. 'You're never confused. You just pretend to be. And it was _nothing_.'

He grinned.

'You're right; I'm never confused. But I'm also pretty sure I know what went on back there. Sirius was jealous seeing us here by ourselves, didn't buy our story and tried to make you jealous.' He paused again. 'And by the looks of it, it worked.'

'You- You're wrong.' I insisted. 'I'm not jealous, why would Sirius be jealous either? I don't know what went on back there, but that certainly wasn't it!' I stopped, unaware I had been shouting.

I tore my arm away and hurried into the kitchen.

At once a was surrounded by a dozen house-elves saying,

'Hello miss! Is there anything I can get you miss! Tea, cakes anything miss?'

James stepped in after me, and at once there were even more house elves.

'And you sir? Would you like anything sir? A double chocolate fudge cake sir?' They squeaked.

James smiled.

'Thanks Nilly, you know what I like.'

At once all the elves bowed and the one called Nilly ran off to find him a double chocolate fudge cake.

'And anything that you want miss? Anything at all?' Said a particularly short one to me.

'Well, a chair would be good.' I started. 'And a bit of parchment and a quill. I have a very long order for you.'

At once about 8 house elves rushed off to get chairs for me and James, and another two rushed off to get me a quill and some parchment.

Half an hour later, I was sitting down with a large list full of food for the party.

'Do you think Sirius would prefer Sticky Date Pudding, or Chocolate Pudding?' I asked James.

He looked up.

'Bwof?' He said, his mouth stuffed full of chocolate cake.

I laughed.

'Both then' I said, and scribbled down the last two additions to the food list. 'Um... Nilly?' I called, trying to remember the name of the house elf that had given James his cake.

'Yes miss!' She squeaked and rushed over, evidently happy at being called.

'I have a list of things I need for a party tonight in dorms 2A and 2B in Gryffindor Tower. Can you get all this food there by 7:50?' I asked.

'Yes, miss, of course miss!' Nilly squeaked, and ran off to show the other elves, who, instead of seeming upset that they had more work, seemed even more excited.

So James and I got back to Gryffindor Common room without any teachers seeing us, which was a pretty good thing.

They never would've allowed a party.

But I should go see if Lily needs help with the decorations.

Bye, _**Kelsey.**_**Remus' Diary 7:26pm 18th November 1972**

* * *

I was supposed to leave this morning to 'go visit my Grandmother in St Mungos'.

I only just realised the other day that I was accidently switching my stories around.

Sometimes I said my grandmother, but sometimes I said my mother.

Luckily no one seemed to notice.

I managed to convince Professor McGonagall to let me stay one more day - after all my transformation isn't until the 20th.

I'll feel a bit ill, but at least I'll be able to stay with Sirius on his birthday.

I got him some of those new convo-parchments (stupid name if you ask me).

But they're actually pretty cool.

You give a bit of parchment to your friends, tell them a 'password' of sorts, and when they write it, they enter a 'chat room'.

It's pretty cool.

You write something like,

Remus: Hi

And then for the rest of the conversation your name is Remus, you don't have to write it.

You just write what you want to say.

I can't wait to try it out.

It'll look like we're writing notes, which is a bonus.

Maybe Sirius and James will stop getting so many detentions.

I'll give it to Sirius in about half an hour.

At his surprise party.

I hope he likes it.

But he seemed kind of annoyed today.

I found him sulking in Gryffindor common room about 45 minutes after he snuck out of the library.

He said he'd been in the kitchens, but he wouldn't tell me why he was now sulking.

He just denied that he was sulking.

Instead he just changed the subject, saying,

'Anyway, wasn't there something happening today? Don't you feel as if you're forgetting something?'

His tone was almost accusing.

Well, none of us _actually_ forgot his birthday, but we were pretending.

It would make the surprise better, we decided.

But I'm actually kind of surprised that he didn't realise something was up.

I mean, what type of friends forget a birthday?

It's always because they're planning you a surprise.

I guess he doesn't know that.

So, I'm guessing James has done something wrong, because Sirius doesn't seem to want to talk about him, and I guess he's also annoyed at us for 'forgetting' his birthday.

It's the first time anyone's actually been unhappy in quite a while though.

Lily's been so excited for when she's going to be a big sister, and that mood seems to be rubbing off on everyone else.

We're all excited for her too.

She's been taking about it non-stop, but it hasn't been annoying anyone.

It's just been making people more excited.

She says the baby's going to be called Taylor is it's a boy and Rose if it's a girl (her family seems to like the names of flowers).

She also says that she just _knows_ it's going to be a boy.

So now we're all awaiting a bouncing baby boy.

Lily's been given permission to leave school when her mum needs to be rushed to hospital, so she can be there to meet the baby- I mean him.

It's most likely going to be the 12th, but the teachers understand that it may be earlier or later.

Dumbledore _himself_ is going to organise a portkey to Lily's house.

Professor McGonagall is going with her, to make sure everything is alright before she returns to Hogwarts.

I... I wish _I_ had a sibling.

I only realised just recently that I probably would, if I hadn't been... what I am.

I mean, my parents wouldn't want a child growing up as a werewolf as a big brother.

And _if_ they managed to not get bitten accidentally, then they would be 100 times better without someone like me to look up too.

They'd have to keep secrets from their friends too; it wouldn't be just me.

And who wants to be best friends with a werewolf's brother?

No, I'm glad I don't have a little brother or sister, as much as I want one.

But I should go; Sirius will be coming up soon.

Later, **Remus.**

* * *

**Sirius' Diary 10:53pm 18th November 1972**

Well, today was certainly interesting.

First Remus insisted I come to the library with him, and forced me to study for a whole _15 minutes_ before I could manage to sneak out.

I hope no one saw; it would be humiliating.

After a while he found me again, said I was _sulking_ and then forgot my birthday.

_Forgot _my birthday.

I even hinted there was something important today, but he didn't even get it then.

I was quite devastated (or _devo_ as some of the girls in Hannah Sharps group would say. Man they're annoying).

But before Remus found me I was hanging out in the kitchens.

Then I came across James and Kelsey coming into the kitchens, looking _very_ friendly with each other.

But I wasn't jealous.

I definitely was not jealous.

100% sure.

Well, ok, maybe I was a bit jealous.

Just a bit.

Or a lot.

But it doesn't matter!

That's not the point.

And then I tried to make Kelsey jealous by going on about Jennifer, that horrible Ravenclaw girl I danced with at the Halloween Ball.

Hey, don't look at me, she brought it up!

But afterwards I felt kind of bad.

And then Remus caught up with me, said I was _sulking_ and then forgot my birthday.

_Forgot _my birthday.

I even hinted there was something important today, but he didn't even get it then.

I was quite devastated (or _devo_ as some of the girls in Hannah Sharps group would say. Man they're annoying).

I knew James wouldn't do that to me; he knows I like Kelsey, and anyway he's in love with Lily.

Yes, I know, he's in love with Lily Evans.

He just won't admit it yet.

Or maybe because he doesn't know.

But despite those slightly problematic points, he loves Lily.

But back to my main point.

I felt kind of bad, so when I saw James again (which was like _ages _afterwards, at like 8) I ran up and apologised.

Well, not _apologised_ exactly, Sirius Black doesn't apologise, but I did this kind of smile-shrug thing which meant sorry without saying it.

James just smile and gave me this cool fist-bump thing.

He stood up and said,

'Can you come up to the dorm with me to get my present for Bee? I forgot to bring it down before.'

I nodded, and he rushed up the stairs faster than he ever had before.

He stopped at the door and motioned for me to open it.

'After you.' He said.

I looked at him weirdly, but opened the door.

At first it was all dark, but all at once about three dozen wand points lit up and sparkers went off.

'SURPRISE!' Everyone yelled (almost _deafening_ me) and they all got up from their hiding spots (behind the beds, in the cupboard ect.) and ran over to say happy birthday.

It turns out no one had forgotten my birthday after all.

I was greeted with a stack of presents, which I dumped on my bed as soon as the lights came on and I saw the piles of food the house elves had prepared for the party.

Me, naturally, shouted, 'Food!' at the sight of all these wondrous treats, and everyone laughed and rushed off to get some.

We all stuffed our face for a while (the chocolate chip cookies are _really_ good), and after a while I turned around to see if I could find Remus, to apologise for being annoyed at him.

I took a couple of steps in Remus' direction when I caught Kelsey's eye.

She motioned for me to come over, so I fought my way through the crowd who were all going _toward_ the food.

'Hey' she said quietly, a package tucked under her arm.

'Hey' I replied. 'Look, about this morning, I'm really-' I tried to apologise (Yes, actually _apologise_) but she cut in.

'Don't worry about it. You must've been j... annoyed that everyone forgot your birthday.' I noticed she avoided the word _jealous_.

She trailed off for a moment, and then she looked up.

'I realised the other day that I never actually replaced that shirt I ripped up during the holidays. When you fell out of the tree. So I got you one. And a pair of jeans too. I figure you probably don't have many muggle clothes.'

She handed me the package, smiled and walked off.

I was just about to follow her, but James grabbed my arm and pulled me into the centre of the dorm.

'ATTENTION EVERYONE!' he shouted at the top of his lungs, and immediately everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us.

'I would just like to make an announcement!' he was still speaking pretty loudly, so the people in the next dorm could hear. 'And to thank you all for coming to this birthday party for Sirius! I admit that this morning was a bit difficult, what with us 'forgetting' his birthday, Remus dragging him into the library to actually _study_, and even girl trouble *at this the entire dorm started whistling and laughing, and I saw Bee nudge Kelsey who had gone beet red*, but we made it, the party is a success-'

He broke off, because suddenly I couldn't stop laughing.

James glared at me.

'Shut it Sirius!' he said. 'I'm trying to be serious!'

Smiling, I replied, 'You can't be serious, _I'm _Sirius!'

James rolled his eyes.

'Sirius, seriously, that joke is really old.'

I frowned.

'Seriously?' I asked, which made everyone laugh and James roll his eyes again.

'Yea, so I can't remember what I was going to say.' James continued. 'But, thanks for coming, and you can all stuff your faces with all that delicious food. We won't mind.'

Everyone laughed again, and walked off (indeed stuffing their faces).

So that was my day.

It was pretty awesome.

Night, **Sirius**.

* * *

**Lily's Diary 11:23pm 18th November 1972**

I don't know why I can't get to sleep.

Today's been awesome.

The party was pretty fun though, and we even got to tease Kelsey about the 'girl trouble' that had evidently come from Sirius being jealous this morning (even though she won't admit it, we know he was).

I planned all the decorations (Red and Gold, naturally), and hung them over the boys' beds.

It was a pretty big success.

But I just feel... like something's going to happen.

Something that's _not good_.

Like, _really _not good.

I don't know how to explain it exactly, just a really really bad feeling.

I just keep tossing and turning, wondering what it is.

At first I tried convincing myself I was just imagining it, but now I know I'm not.

I'm scared to talk to my friends about it, in case they think I'm imagining it too, or think I'm making it up to get attention.

Well, I know they wouldn't think the second one, but maybe the first one.

I just can't stop thinking that something bad's going to happen, and I couldn't eat anything at the party; my stomach felt like a knot.

But what I managed to get down tasted pretty good.

It's just... argh!

I can't explain it.

I don't even know why I wrote today anyway.

I wasn't going to.

I was going to wait until a really exciting thing, like _becoming a big sister!_

I've been counting down the days (24) and my friends probably _should _be getting annoyed from every 5 minutes I mention it, but they don't, and they seem almost as excited as I do.

And, as a matter of fact, so does _James Potter_.

I never expected him to be interested, and I'm not sure whether it's just him trying to get me to like him more or whether he's _actually _interested, but he is.

He's been asking all these questions about what we're going to call it (Taylor – I _know_ it's a him), and how am I going to like being a big sister, and if I think it'll be hard having to help look after a baby.

At first I was kind of confused, but then I remember James was an only child, and probably didn't really have the experience of what it was like.

I realised he probably would've been a lot lonelier than I was, even though he would've had friends (of course – he's _James Potter_).

But he has been hexing Sev less.

I noticed he does _sometimes_, but I also noticed that it was only as much as he did other people and as much as I object to it, I can't stop him treating him like he treats other people.

But I think I can finally try to get to sleep now.

Good night, _**Lily.**_

* * *

**So, what does everyone think? Reviews please!**


	32. Something Goes Horribly Wrong

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Ok, this is the chapter that I have been leading up too for quite a while. I hope I get the emotions in this right, since I haven't actually had personal experience, but hopefully I did ok.

I wish I owned Harry Potter... But I have to be content with owning the OCs in this and most of the storyline.

Congratulation to AnonymousMSQ who wrote my 100th review! YAY!

Chapter 32 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

**Lily's Diary 2:08pm 21****st**** November 1972**

I don't know why I'm writing now, I mean now is not the time to be writing, there are so many things going on and I should be doing so much more thank writing!

Well, I'm praying too.

But I can't believe what happened...

I feel so empty inside.

It's like a part of me I never even knew existed has been revealed and then crushed at the same time.

Like a part of my heart has been crushed.

It's just... I know this stuff happens, but only in the news, not to you personally!

You hear about it all the time, but you never pay attention to it until it happens to you.

Well, actually not all the time.

Actually not even often.

It's probably not even a big enough disaster to go on the news.

It's... well... I... They...

I can't even say it.

I'll write about it a different time.

I'll write about something else now.

Something that also happened today.

I decided that since I was in St Mungo's I would go find Remus.

He said that he would be visiting his grandmother here on the 20th and 21st.

I really needed someone to talk to so I went down to the front desk, not caring that my face was probably shiny and my eyes were red.

I waited patiently in line, and when I got to the front I asked politely,

'Excuse me, where is Mrs Lupin staying? Which floor?'

The lady at the desk had a look at her list and then shook her head.

'Sorry, we don't have a Mrs Lupin staying here.'

That shocked me, but then I realised that his Grandmother might not have his last name.

'Is there a mother of Mrs Lupin then? Sorry I'm not sure of her last name.' I asked.

The lady checked her files, and then said,

'Sorry dear, not that either. Anything else you wanted dear?'

'Umm... yea.' I said. 'Do you know if a Remus Lupin has visited the hospital today or yesterday?'

I knew all visitors had to put down their name and wear a badge around; I had one myself.

The lady looked at me carefully.

'I'm not really supposed to give out information like that... Remus never mentioned you.' She started.

I was too eager to find him I didn't realise what she had said.

'Oh. Please miss, he's one of my best friends and I really need to talk to him. We go to Hogwarts together.'

She looked at me carefully, and then, satisfied I was telling the truth, said.

'Never mind dear, it looks like you've had a hard day and you're not really asking for much.'

She checked through the visitors sheets, but then shook her head.

'Sorry, no.' Then she looked again. 'It seems the last time he was here was... about two years ago as a patient for recovery from self-harm. He was coming every month or so since he was about six I think. The poor boy. I knew him quite well.'

Now I was _really _shocked.

'Self harm… _Remus_? What did he do to himself…? Why did that happen!' I demanded, glaring at the woman as though it was all her fault.

'Now that is something I _definitely _can't tell you. I shouldn't have told you as much as I did. Run along now, there are other people in line.'

'No, tell me what happened to Remus! I have to know! He's my best friend, and I need to know what happened to him!'

The lady sighed.

'I understand your concern for your friend, but it's more than my jobs worth to tell you that. You'll have to ask him yourself. Please be quiet and maybe go sit down on the couch for a while to calm down, or I'll have to have you forcibly removed. And I _really_ hate doing that.'

Seething, I turned and dropped myself onto a couch.

_How dare she! _I thought to myself. _Remus is my best friend, I have to know and help him!_

I sat there for a while, angry at everyone and everything for going wrong today.

Then I decided to stop being angry and think.

I tried to put the pieces together, and I was almost at an answer when Petunia rushed downstairs.

Since what happened Tuney has forgotten hating me and is only worried about mum.

I stood up, forgetting all about Remus.

'How's…' I didn't have to finish, Tuney knew what I meant.

'They're going to let us inside in two minutes.' She said, and rushed back upstairs with me close behind her.

When we got up there, the doctor opened the door.

But that's getting to close to what happened, and I really don't want to talk about that.

But I did know one thing.

When they opened the door it was like a light bulb had gone off in my head.

Since he was six, he had been going to St Mungo's once a month.

He had been hurting himself.

Once a month.

Then I just knew.

Remus was a werewolf.

_**Lily.**_

* * *

**James' Diary 7:08pm 21****st**** November 1972**

Today was a pretty cool day.

Well, except for the end.

But the best bit first.

This morning at breakfast, Sirius went running up to Peter and I, practically bouncing off the walls, and told us that he spent almost the whole night working on a new spell.

So Sirius and I swapped places so he had a clear view of Snivellus and he whispered the spell under his breath.

Nothing happened.

Peter and I looked at him doubtfully, but he just smiled.

'Wait.' He said. 'First class is double Charms. Flitwick said it was a note taking lesson.'

From the looks on our faces, neither of us had any clue about what that had anything to do with it, but we waited.

We placed ourselves in the row behind Snivellus, and watched as he got his quill and placed it on the paper.

Instead of writing whatever Flitwick had said, he wrote _I am an annoying prat._

Shocked, he looked up, and tried to write again.

Again, he wrote _I am an annoying prat._

Sirius and I had perfect straight faces and Peters smile was only _just_ leaking out.

Sirius took out his wand again, and said the spell again, and this time Avery was writing it too.

Then Mulciber.

We managed to last the whole class without laughing, but as soon as we saw Flitwick's face as he was collecting their papers (Sirius and I had copied Lily's (who was sitting next to Peter)) we just had to burst out laughing.

Luckily we were already out the door, so they didn't catch us.

Even better is the fact that it doesn't wear off by itself – it needs a counter-charm or potion.

Today was the best.

Except for the fact Remus wasn't there.

He needed to visit his grandmother in St Mungo's.

He comes back tomorrow morning.

We can't wait to try out the new convo-parchment, and Peter's come up with the _best _password.

It's so awesome it's going to be our new name.

Marauders.

From the moment when Remus agrees with it, we shall be known as the Marauders.

A Marauder is an outlaw who lives from raiding.

That's so us.

I mean, just the other day we stole those 1st year Hufflepuff's chocolate frogs.

They were really good too.

It was so funny, we levitated them right out of his hands and they went off floating away.

You should've seen their faces.

It was a mixture of shock and excitement; shock at seeing their snacks fly away and excitement at seeing… their snacks fly away.

Well, maybe at seeing magic, but they were still amazed to see their snacks fly away.

They weren't even upset.

It was hilarious.

But now to the less funny bit.

All day I was so excited for Lily.

She left this morning at breakfast (after Sirius was excited for his new spell) with Professor McGonagall.

She had received a message from… actually I don't know who, but she had come to collect Lily.

Her mum was going into labor early, and of course Lily was ecstatic.

She didn't really think much that it was a couple of weeks early, she was too excited at the prospect of being a big sister,

I have to say I was excited too.

I've never had a little brother or sister to look after (maybe that's a contributing factor to why Lily says I'm immature and not responsible), but sometimes I wish I did.

But I don't, so I just have to be content with being excited for Lily.

So she came back this evening, around 6.

I was sitting around the common room, writing a letter to my mother.

Lily walked in, surrounded by her three best friends.

Suddenly I felt so happy for her – but I didn't know why.

I just did.

I noticed red rims around her eyes, but they didn't really register with me.

I guess I just thought she was so happy she had cried.

I jumped up and ran over.

'Lily!' I shouted. 'Do you have a little baby brother? Taylor? Or a girl? Rose?'

I was expecting a full on shout in reply, maybe giving me a massive hug and telling me that she had a new baby brother, or even a kiss on the cheek (you never know, I may have been having a lucky day) but instead her eyes swam with tears.

She pushed past me and ran into her room sobbing.

Sav sprinted past her, and Kelsey ran too, murmuring to herself 'Damnit, we just got her to stop crying!'

I turned to Bee.

'What did I say?' I asked quietly.

Bee turned to me sadly.

'Her mum had to go to St Mungo's this morning.' She told me. 'Not even a muggle doctor. There was a problem with the baby. With the bab_ies_ I should say.'

'What- twins?' I asked.

She nodded again.

'I'm not exactly sure of the details, but I know that one of them died. The other one is in intensive care; her lungs aren't fully developed and there's something wrong with her heart. We don't know if she'll be ok or not. Her mum was almost permanently damaged, but she won't be having and children again, we know that much.'

She paused.

'I really hope Rose survives. I don't know what Lily will do if she doesn't – she was so excited.'

She took a deep breath and then ran upstairs.

I was shocked.

And horrified.

How could something this bad happen to Lily?

Lily – the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful girl in the world.

I just don't see how such horrible things could happen to her.

There are so many horrible people in the world, but this has to happen to her.

It's just not fair.

**James**

* * *

**Kelsey's Diary 10:21pm 21****st**** November 1972**

Today it happened.

I should've guessed.

I should've seen it coming!

It only came together today.

When we were all on the bed, listening to Lily cry her eyes out, trying to make her feel better.

I had a massive déjà vu moment.

I had been there before, at that exact moment, listening to the exact same thing.

The four of us, sitting on Lily's bed, trying to comfort her.

The book had showed me this exact moment.

Why didn't I guess!

The book showed magic at the window.

It must've been winter.

And this is exactly the type of thing that could've gone wrong.

Which it did.

I was jerked back to reality by a very loud sob from Lily, which prompted Sav to immediately put her arms around her.

'Shhh Lils, it's ok. There was nothing you could've done. It's all going to be ok, you'll see.' She said, and Bee nodded, placing her hand on Lily's knee.

'B-but what if it *sob* doesn't!' Sobbed Lily. 'What I-if Rose d-dies too and Mummy *sob* and Daddy c-cant have another b-baby! I c-could see how ex-*sob*-cited they were, and n-now I won't be a b-big sister *sob* after all!'

I shuffled closer and pulled her into a tight hug.

'Shhh, Lily, it'll all end up alright in the end.' I murmured.

Lily swallowed.

'A-and the poor b-baby, it wasn't even pr-properly living yet! A-and it had to g-go and *sob* die! And if Rose d-dies and she's only d-days old! *sob* And- and- and-' She broke off, crying.

'Shhh…' I said again, not really knowing what to say but trying to be comforting and calming.

'And- and Mummy and D-daddy will be so s-sad! And e-everything's going wrong, with Taylor and R-rose and Re-*sob*-mus…' She trailed off.

Despite her fragile state, we all stared.

'What do you mean, Remus?' Bee asked.

'Well, I-I was at St- St Mungo's' Lily sobbed. 'A-and they t-told m-me that R-Remus…' She trailed off again, sobbing even harder now.

'Told you _what_?' Asked Bee, but we ignored her and went back to comforting Lily.

No one said anything, we were just there.

After a while Lily's head dropped from my shoulder to my lap, so we all decided to go to bed and let Lily have a few hours of peace.

I don't know what she's going through, but I want to be there for her through all of it.

But I have to go to bed now.

I should be up for Lily when she wakes up.

Later, _**Kelsey**_.

* * *

**Well, that was the big thing i was leading up to. I hope you liked it! I'd love to hear any ideas or requests anyone has.**

**Alysa**


	33. Lily and Rose

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Here's Chapter 33... Wow I've done heaps of Chapters. I'm actually considering putting years 5-7 in their own story, like a sequel... what do you guys think?

Also, I've recently looked back at my first couple of chapters and realised how bad they are... so I'm going to be going over then and redoing them. You can read them if you want, but I probably won't put anything important in them.

One more thing (wow I have a lot to say today). I have just discovered the existence of a story about James Sirius Potter (Harry's son), which is written by a fan, and I have to say it is probably one of the best fics I've read. The web address is on my profile, and I'd definitely recommend it.

_**Rokiea **_– Yes I am planning to write all seven (and possibly more) years of Hogwarts. It might take a while, but I am planning to.

I wish I owned Harry Potter... But I have to be content with owning the OCs in this and most of the storyline.

Chapter 33 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

* * *

Lily's Diary 12:08pm 20

**th**** December 1972**

For the week after I came back from the hospital I was completely dead.

Zombie-like even.

I just tried not to think or feel anything.

It hurt too much to think about.

Then after a couple of days my friends finally sat me down and told me they hated seeing me like this.

They wanted me to go back to normal, the usual bubbly, happy Lily I usually was.

And I tried.

But it still hurt.

So I went back into Zombie mode.

I couldn't feel anything at all.

It meant the good stuff wasn't good, but the bad stuff wasn't that bad either.

Then a couple more days after that James cornered me after Herbology.

'Lily, I'm sick and tired of you moping around like that!' He almost shouted at me. 'Can't you see how hard we're all trying for you? We're trying to make you feel better, but you don't notice a single thing we do! Can't you see it's hurting _us, _you being like this? Stop being so selfish and stuck up as to think that it's not hurting anyone! Do you really think being a zombie is going to fix anything? It's just making things worse for us now and worse for you later! Is Rose going to get better from you moping? Is Taylor going to come back from the dead? No! Now stop acting like an idiot and live!'

I stared.

Then finally I managed to choke out, 'Well... how would you know what I'm going through?' Then I started shouting back. 'You don't know what it's like to lose someone that you were so excited to know! You don't know what it's like losing a brother, and sitting there knowing that your sister could go the same way but not being able to do a single bloody thing to stop it! No! You don't! So stop judging me and just accept that I'm going through a really hard time!'

He looked shocked.

Then he gave this crooked smile.

'Did you seriously just say the word bloody? Lily Evans just said bloody. What is the world coming too!' Then he looked me straight in the eye and said, 'But _that's_ what I wanted to see. The _real_ Lily. I know you're going through a hard time. We all do. But we need you to help us to help you. We can't just magically cheer you up. We haven't learnt cheering charms yet. But _please_ try. Yes, Taylor died. You have to accept that and move on. Yes, Rose could go the same way. But you have to understand that moping around isn't going to fix anything. We're all here for you, but we can't help you if you don't let us.'

Neither of us said anything for a while, as I just stood there contemplating over what he said.

Then he just smiled, patted me on the shoulder and walked off, understanding I wanted this time alone.

But his words got to me.

I _was_ being an idiot.

Moping wasn't going to fix anything, and it was true, they had been trying.

I went to sleep that night thinking of what James had said, and I woke up the next morning with a new fierceness about me.

I was going to be alive, more alive than I had been before.

Part of it was proving to James that I wasn't moping and I wasn't an idiot, but part of it was proving it to me.

I had to prove that no matter what happened to me, I would bounce back.

And it worked.

I walked into the Great Hall that morning with a huge grin on my face, walked straight over to my friends and gave them all a massive hug, apologising.

The immediately said it was ok, and I had a right to do it and all that other stuff that amazing friends such as them say.

As Bee hugged me I looked over at James.

'_Thank you'_ I mouthed at him.

It really was what he said to me that made me realise.

He gave me a smile – a real one, not the arrogant one I hate.

I took him aside later in the day to thank him.

And to apologise.

And I kissed him.

On the cheek, of course, I'm not _that _idiotic.

He looked surprised – but happy.

I guess any guy would be happy getting kissed though.

But back to breakfast.

'Hey Lily' Sirius said too, sitting next to me, interrupting my little D&M moment with James.

'Don't I get a hug too?' He asked innocently.

I laughed – the first time in a week.

'In your dreams.' I said.

Then I crept a look at Remus.

He was turned away from me, talking to Peter, but I could still see one side of his face.

He looked tired, and quite sick.

A side affect from being a werewolf I suppose.

The full moon _is _coming up.

But on my first day as a Zombie, I actually thought a lot about Remus.

I was shocked to find out at first – and a little scared.

I kind of kept away from him on the first day, examining him.

I admit it – I was scared of Remus.

Even without learning about them at school, I knew they were always portrayed as evil and heartless.

But that's not how Remus is.

He's kind, compassionate, and utterly accepting.

He's one of the best people I know.

The more I thought, the more I realised.

Remus wasn't bad.

Remus spent his whole life trying to make up for the night as he spent as evil.

On that day I decided I would never think of Remus as a werewolf being a bad thing.

Well, it is bad, but nothing that could ever compromise our friendship.

I also decided I wouldn't tell anyone.

Even my best friends.

It's not my secret – it's Remus'.

And I won't talk to him about it either.

It would put him in an awkward position.

I don't want to force him to have to tell me anything, or have to worry that I'll tell anyone.

I'll just keep it a secret.

I can't wait to see Rose – she got out of hospital a couple of days ago.

I'm so relieved.

We were all so relived.

But I guess wizard doctors can do so much more than muggle ones.

With magic and everything

I have to go now.

We're starting a tidy of up the room – the Christmas holidays are tomorrow!

Love, _**Lily.**_

* * *

**Severus' Diary 3:08pm 20****th**** December 1972**

I'm so happy for Lily now.

Her little sister, Rose is ok.

They were really worried for a while.

But wizard doctors work miracles.

Lily promised I could be the first of her friends to see her.

I bet she'll be beautiful.

Not as beautiful as Lily though.

Lily's the most beautiful girl in the world.

But I can imagine Rose looking exactly like Lily, almost.

Especially when she gets older.

A little Lily.

Cute.

But my friends and I are planning the _best_ prank for Potter and them.

Well, maybe just Potter.

And Lupin.

We'll leave Black and Pettigrew out of it... for now.

But it's going to take a while to get everything planned, so it's going to happen after the Christmas holidays.

Lucius says he's going to help us, because it's quite complicated magic involved.

But it's going to be so good.

But I have an idea to do to Sirius at the same time, but so it will involve all of them.

Except Peter, but he's not a threat at all so we don't need to worry about him.

And don't think I'm going to slip you any hints about what's going to happen - it's all top secret.

It's only a little bit of identity theft... but that's _all_ I'm saying.

I've given you too much already.

But I'm really not looking forward to going home.

I'd rather stay at school.

But Lily's going home, and so are my friends, so I would be even more bored here.

And Lily said I could sleep over at her house a couple of nights, and my mum won't care.

And we leave school tomorrow, so we only have one more day left!

But the weird thing is, that that Lupin boy is left on the 19th.

Two days before school ends.

He says he has to visit his Grandmother who's sick in St Mungo's, but I don't see why he can't wait two days.

There's something fishy going on around him.

And I'm going to find out what it is.

And his 'friends' don't really see anything wrong with it.

They bought up all his talk about 'really needing to see her' and 'it's getting worse' and all that stuff, but I don't believe it.

How can they possibly be so _thick_?

It's probably all that Gryffindor stuff about 'being loyal' and stuff, so they don't think he's lying to them.

That's why it's so much better being in Slytherin.

We always see things clearly, not all muddled up by our house views and stuff.

All that nonsense about Slytherin being 'evil' is stupid.

Name 3 Slytherins that were evil.

Well, maybe you could name 5.

Maybe 10.

But that's not the point!

And... I should go pack now.

Later, **Sev.**

* * *

**James' Diary 6:08pm 20****th**** December 1972**

I can't wait to go home!

We leave tomorrow, and mum says she has a surprise for me.

I wonder what it is.

Well, obviously it's my Christmas present, but I wonder what it would be.

I've been asking for a new quaffle for a while.

My old one's a bit over used.

It's not shiny anymore, and one of the sides has a crack.

It's a bit worn.

We were going to have our first game last week, but it was cancelled because of all the bad weather.

The Gryffindor team wanted to play anyway, but the teachers said there could be a serious injury.

So it's going to be played when we get back from Christmas holidays.

I can't wait.

We're so going to _thrash_ Hufflepuff.

They had a good reputation last year because of their main chaser Henry Fields, but he's left now so we know we can beat them.

They've got his little brother, Jason to play instead of him but he's no where as good.

He's in third year now.

They almost won last year.

Slytherin beat them by 50 points.

Which isn't actually much if you think about it.

It was only because the Slytherin seeker has a faster broom than the Hufflepuff seeker.

The Slytherins were sulking for the whole Grand Finals because they weren't in it.

It was so funny.

But Remus left yesterday.

He said he had to visit his grandma again.

But two days before the holidays?

He said that she was looking pretty bad, and he had to go as soon as he could, and of course we all accepted that.

Why wouldn't we?

Remus is our friend.

We trust him.

But…

I just can't help but have doubts.

I know Remus pretty week now, and I can tell he's lying.

I think.

It might be my imagination though.

But he gets all restless about a week before he goes.

He seems to get sick too.

He even gets nightmares.

I sleep on the bed next to his, and sometimes I wake up in the night from his tossing and turning.

One time I went to wake him up, at the moment when he was awake, but only _just_ out of the dream, I swear I saw his eyes flash with… something.

I don't know what it is, but it scares me.

I think its fear, but not any type of fear that I know.

It scares me too.

I'll talk to Sirius about it later.

But, for now, the Marauders are three.

And yes, we are the Marauders.

Remus came and thought it was a great name, and so that is now our name.

And I just know that for generations to come, everyone will know of the Marauders.

And the convo-parchment is pretty cool too.

Really useful during class.

Oh, oh, did you hear?

Rose is ok!

I'm so relieved.

I just know if she hadn't then Lily would've gone back into zombie-mode.

And I know screaming at her may _not_ have been the most sensitive way to get her back to normal.

I mean, she just lost the baby brother she had been waiting for, and her sister could've gone the same way.

But it was the only way I could see that would get the message across.

We tried being nice and just asking.

But I guess I just got so... upset at the fact that she wasn't even _trying _to do anything about it.

So I think I just let it all out on her.

And it worked.

She even kissed me.

Only on the cheek, but she did.

She's so going to like me one day.

Not, of course, that I like her.

I don't.

Why would I?

And why am I even telling myself this?

I don't need to.

Anyway, I have to go pack now.

See ya, **James.**

* * *

**Sirius' Diary 9:08pm 20****th**** December 1972**

Well, almost time to go home.

I wanted to stay at school, but James promised me that I could stay at his place for at least some of the holidays.

Remus said I could stay with him too.  
If my mum agrees.

She'll want to get rid of me, but she won't want to make me happy.

But my main concern was Regulus.

He used to be the only reason I'd even go home, but now…

He's just like my parents.

I guess I'll be stuck in my rooms talking to the house elves for the time when I'm not at James'.

But I guess I should just be happy with what I have.

I have a broom.

I could fly over to see James if I don't let any muggles see me.

Maybe Remus; he lives closer.

Speaking of Remus, he left to visit his Grandmother yesterday.

Now I don't know about you, but I don't see why he couldn't have waited two more days.

Is two days _really_ going to do anything?

But he was persistent in insisting that he had to go; that his Grandmother was even worse and that he needed to see her as soon as possible.

But… strangely enough I didn't fully believe him.

Neither did James.

He came and talked to me earlier and talked to me about it.

And we have both decided that Remus is lying.

We don't know why or what it's about, but we know he's lying.

It would have to be a good reason though.

Professor McGonagall comes to collect him every time, so the teachers would be in on it.

And it would have to be a good reason for them to let him go every month.

We called Peter over and asked him about it too.

He had no clue that Remus way lying, and was a bit surprised that we thought it.

But then he had a think about it and realized we were right.

Or he might've been agreeing just to make it look like he understood.

That's not the point though.

We all sat down in our dorm, moved the table from the corner of the room to the middle and set about trying to work out why he was lying and what he was lying about.

We tried to write a list on a piece of parchment, one side of the parchment saying why we think he was lying and the other side saying what we think he is lying about.

There weren't many points on either side.

Especially the 'what' side of the page.

Then Peter said, to the surprise of both of us, 'Let's draw a calendar. If we try and put down all the days he's away, we could try and work out a pattern or something.'

James and I looked at each other and smiled.

No offense to Peter, but he isn't really the fastest broom in the cupboard.

Although, to be fair, he has come up with some of our best ideas.

Like our name.

Yes, we now, _officially_, have a name.

The Marauders?

Do you like it?

Well, I honestly don't care because it's our name anyway.

But back to the main point.

James immediately started drawing up a calendar of this month and the previous couple of months.

It took _ages_, because James didn't know the spell for duplicating things, so I sat back on my chair and watched the light from the full moon shine through the window onto the floor in kind of a wavy pattern.

But by the time James had finished the calendars we were all bored and decided to finish it on the train, if we sat by ourselves.

But we're not sure if we will, since the girls are there and Lily isn't mad at James.

I know he's secretly really happy about it, even though he pretends he doesn't care.

He was kind of upset when she was mad at him.

He's not used to being ignored, especially by girls.

Night, **Sirius.**

* * *

**Petunias' Diary 9:48pm 20****th**** December 1972**

I know I said I'd never write again.

I wrote once, because I didn't have anywhere else to go to and I never thought I'd be in that situation again.

But then again, I never imagined that _this _would happen!

When I heard I was going to have a baby brother or sister I was so excited.

Ecstatic even.

I knew it was going to be a girl.

And it was.

Her brother died

My would-be-baby-brother...dead.

It was so scary.

Mum started going into labor a few weeks early.

We were all really excited - we knew that early births happened all the time for all the normal reasons.

We drove to the hospital and when we got there they took Mum straight into their maternity ward.

Lily arrived a while afterwards - I guess... _they_... have fast ways of travelling.

She arrived with this tall, thin teacher.

Lily called her 'Professor McGonagall'.

She spoke in a strict but kind voice but she didn't smile much.

When McGonagall walked in with Lily, Mum and Dad were so excited.

They were so pleased to meet her, 'an actual _witch_' they kept saying when the doctors weren't around.

Then we were all told to wait outside.

That McGonagall woman stayed with Lily the whole time though - I guess to take her back to Pigfarts or whatever school she goes to.

But we waited out there for _ages_.

You could tell everyone was getting really stressed.

Apart from McGonagall of course.

She was kind of just expressionless the entire time.

Then the doctor came out with a worried look on his face.

He turned to Dad.

'I'm afraid something is going wrong...' He stammered. 'We're doing everything we can, but we're not sure exactly what's going on. We've never had this problem before and-'

'Let me see her.' My dad said, in that really quiet but powerful voice that means _do exactly what I say or I will rip your head off_.

'I'm sorry sir, but you must understand we are doing everything we-' the doctor tried to protest, but Dad shoved past him and ran into the room.

'Sir, I insist you wait outside!' we could hear the doctor calling, but Dad took no notice.

Of course.

_Then_ McGonagall moved.

'Lily.' She said. 'I'm not sure what's going on with your mother, but I'm sure it's not good. I heard your muggle doctor saying they didn't know what it was, and I can tell you are very passionate about this. I'm going to see if I get book your mother a room at St Mungo's to see if we can do anything for her. Is that ok?' Her voice sounded caring, odd in comparison to the stern look on her face.

Lily nodded, her face white.

McGonagall stood and walked to the fireplace.

I moved over closer to Lily, too worried to even care about being annoyed at her.

'Lily, what's St Mungo's? What's she doing with the fireplace? And what's a muggle?' I asked her.

'St Mungo's is our wizard hospital.' She whispered back. 'And she's going to use the floo network. I've never seen it done, only heard about it. But I think we should step back.' We retreated a couple of steps back from where McGonagall was fishing some sort of green powder from her pocket.

'And a muggle is a name for any non-magical person. It's not an insult or anything though. It's just like us being called witches and wizards.' She stopped and looked intently at McGonagall who, after looking around to make sure no other 'muggles' were around, had somehow increased the height of the fireplace so she could fit in it.

'St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries' she said clearly, and let go of the powder.

With a great _WOOSH_ she was covered in green flames, and a second later she was gone, the fireplace already shrinking to normal height.

'Wow' I said quietly.

'Wow' Lily agreed, nodding.

So, to make a long story short, McGonagall brought back a funny looking bunch of people who took my mum to this St Mango's place, used some magic mumbo-jumbo on her, and now she's stuck infertile and one child short.

It's all their fault!

They should've just let mum been handled by the _normal_ doctors, not used as some experiment!

It's Lily's fault too.

She must've done something to mum, made something happen wrong, because she was a wit... a freak!

These wizard people should just stop interfering with people's lives and let them work out their own problems, instead of ruining their lives!

Of course, I'm over the moon that Rose is ok.

But I can't stop thinking that if my family were normal, Lily _not_ being a freak and letting normal doctors do what they had to, then there would be a little boy in the crib next to her.

I'm not talking to Lily.

I don't think I ever will.

I'll leave her to her... freakiness and I'll get on with my life.

I'm glad I didn't throw you away.

You can be all the reasons why freaks suck and a way for me to express my feelings without my parents telling me it's answering back and grounding me.

Hopefully I'll never need to see you again though.

Until forever, _**Petunia**_.

* * *

**So, what do you think? **

**Yes, I let Rose live. I'm not _that_ mean. **

**But reviews would be great; the more reviews I get, the faster I write! Yes, it does work like that.**

**And it only takes half a minute to review and you dont even need an account.**

**Love, Alysa**


	34. Does She Know?

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

**I am not J.K. Rowling. If I was, I'd buy myself a MASSIVE block of land and build Hogwarts on it and invite you all to come along (yes, even people who don't review). But I'm not, so I can't.**

Chapter 34 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

* * *

**Lily's Diary 12:03am 1****st**** January 1973**

It's the first day of 1973!

Well, first 3 minutes anyway.

We're having a little family 'party'

I say 'party' because it's just my family with my grandparents on my mum's side.

No other kids.

My parents were both only children, so I have no cousins.

Sometimes it's cool, like no other little kids to annoy you or no other older kids to go 'awww' at you, but sometime it can get pretty lonely.

Since Tuney won't even talk to me.

I came back for the holidays expecting me and Tuney to be best friends again.

I thought that the tragedy of loosing Taylor would bring us together.

I mean, we were talking like sisters should that day.

I came back and saw Mummy and Daddy at the station, and they took me home and I saw Tuney.

I smiled at her widely, I _was_ really happy to see her, and held out my arms for a hug.

Instead she looked at me, I don't even know the emotion in her eyes, seemed to choke a little and ran off.

Mummy and Daddy apologised, of course, saying she was just sad about Taylor, but I think I know what's going on.

I think she's mad at the doctors at St Mungos for not being able to let Taylor live.

I don't think she understand how much they did for mum.

Of course, I'm so upset that Taylor didn't survive, but I know not to blame them.

It's thanks to them that Rose survived.

I mean, the muggle doctors didn't even know what was happening to mum!

But I don't think Tuney really sees it that way.

But she'll come around.

I know she will.

She'll see that witches and wizards aren't that bad.

Maybe she _is_ jealous, like Mummy and Daddy say, and that she'll get over it soon.

But they said that when I first started Hogwarts but she still hasn't gotten over it!

*sigh*

I hope she will.

But she's having fun now, I suppose.

She's in her bedroom, playing with Rose.

You can tell she really loves Rose.

She's probably happy that she has a 'proper, non freakish' sister.

Although she doesn't know yet whether Rose is a witch or not.

Sometimes I hope yes, other times I hope no.

Yes, for me, but no for Tuney.

But sometimes... Sometimes I worry about Petunia.

She's so... distanced from the rest of the family.

At least when I'm home she is.

And I overheard Mummy and Daddy saying something the other night about how happy they were to finally see her happy, when they gave her their Christmas present (a new CD player with a CD of her favourite band).

What I want to know is why she is _finally_ happy?

Why was she sad before?

And all the time that I've been here, she hasn't.

Well, most of the time.

She'll go out in the morning with her friends and not come back until after 9, later if she can manage it.

But we used to be such good friends.

I even gave her a Christmas present!

It was a necklace and it had a flower (I found one that looked a bit like a petunia) with an opal in the middle, with a pair of matching earrings. (I know opals are her birthstone, but that doesn't mean I can't give her one for Christmas!).

I found it in a catalogue lying around in the common room, for some jewellery store in Hogsmede.

I asked one of the older girls to get it for me.

I wanted it to be really special, and when I saw it I just knew it was for her.

And it was a whole galleon!

That's like, 3 months pocket money (depending on the exchange rate at Gringotts)!

But she seemed to really like it.

I handed it to her and it was a small box (which probably didn't look very good since I was trying to impress her).

'Merry Christmas Petunia' I said quietly, with a hopeful smile.

She sort of sneered at it while she was taking off the wrapping, but when she opened it her eyes widened.

She had this look in her eye that seemed to say she wanted to chuck it away, just because I gave it to her.

But when she saw the present she hesitated.

Then she lifted it slowly and put it around her neck.

She looked at me.

'Thanks... Lily.' She said.

Her saying my name was pretty much the best Christmas present I got.

Maybe except for Sev's though.

His was really sweet.

Wow, it's already 12:34.

Haha, the numbers are in line.

I guess that's a perfect time to finish writing then, when everything's in line.

And I'm tired.

Night, _**Lily**_.

* * *

**Severus' Diary 7:34am 1****st**** January 1973**

Well today's an exciting day.

Good-bye 1972, hello 1973.

Not that it'll make much of a difference to my life I suppose.

My mum will still wake up in about 10 minutes to make breakfast and in about an hour my dad will wake up too and scream at her as to why his breakfast isn't in front of him.

And she'll bring it into his room and he'll demand a beer and she'll tell him he shouldn't have one right when he wakes and he'll shout at her again that he doesn't care and whack-

But that doesn't matter.

The main point is that nothing will change and I'll make sure I'm out of the house until about 1, when's he definitely awake and will try to ignore me instead of trying to make my life miserable.

I don't even know why I came home these holidays.

Probably because otherwise all my friends would've known something was up, because they're all going home.

And to see Lily.

I was the first of Lily's friends to see Rose!

I was so happy about that.

Petunia wasn't that happy, but when she saw Lily and Rose and me all sitting outside by the swing and that flower bush she just rolled her eyes and walked away.

But I think Rose really likes me.

Lily brought her outside and when she saw me she smiled and held her hands out.

Lily laughed, I swear I've never heard a more beautiful sound, and let me hold Rose.

Rose has eyes just like Lily.

Exactly the same shape and colour.

Except that they're smaller.

I can imagine she's going to look almost exactly like Lily.

Well, I bet she hopes she will; I can't imagine she'd want to look like _Petunia_.

I think Lily got the brains _and_ the looks out of that family.  
When Lily handed Rose back to her mother, we walked down to the stream near our houses and sat and talked for a while.

But honestly I had no idea that stream was there.

There's a massive tree right next to it with branches stretching all the way over the water.

We climbed up and sat on one of the branches, and Lily swung upside down off it from her knees.

It was really funny; she just smiled at me then fell backwards.

I swear I almost fell out of the tree.

Then I heard her laughing and realised that there hadn't been a splash.

She swung back up again and started laughing.

I was quite embarrassed.

I mean, it was the middle of December!

Why would anyone just go fall in the water?

It would be freezing.

But after I got over my shock, I gave her my Christmas present that I got her.

It wasn't expensive (ha, like I could afford anything over a Knut), but I spent quite a bit of time on it.

I asked Professor Slughorn to help me with it, since I've never done that sort of thing before.

So I reached into my pocket and flipped it between my fingers a couple of times while Lily was still righting herself from her 'fall' and said, 'Um, Lily, I didn't really know what to get you for Christmas. I mean, you're a pretty hard person to buy for and even if I found something I probably couldn't afford...'

I stopped, annoyed at myself for bring that up.

'But I saw that you wore a charm bracelet, and it's got little representations of your friends on it. So I thought I could make you something to put on there...'

I pulled out a little wooden bat and held it out to her on the palm of my hand.

It was now, as I was giving it to her, that all the flaws and disfigurations of it really stood out.

Lily gave a little gasp and put her hand over her mouth in surprise.

_She probably hates it_ I thought to myself, but I swallowed and kept talking.

'I made it out of Willow, because I know that's what your wand is made out of... And I thought it could remind us of the Halloween Ball, when I came as a bat...'

I noticed again the shabby workmanship of it.

I forced thought out of my head and spoke again, very quickly.

But I mean if you don't want to put it on your bracelet that's fine. I mean, I can see how mine is a lot different to the ones you have on there, and you might not want your other friends seeing it so maybe you could just keep it in your room or something, if you wanted...'

Lily still hadn't moved.

I sighed.

'You know, it was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have bothered and you probably got heaps better ones from everyone else. Maybe I'll just chuck it away-'

Then Lily spoke.

'No, Sev, don't do that! I love it, I really do, I was just so amazed you'd make the effort of making something for _me_. Here, help me put it on!'

She held out her wrist, her eyes shining.

Suddenly I couldn't help smiling so hard that it must've looked like someone had cursed me to look like that.

But she really liked it!

That was the best part of my Christmas.

Being able to make her smile like that.

But I'm going to go see if I can find her now.

My dad will be getting up soon.

I don't want to be here when he does.

Maybe we can go down to the lake again.

Later, **Sev.**

* * *

**Remus' Diary 2:21pm 1****st**** January 1973**

I don't think there's ever a time when I'm not worried.

Sure, sometimes I'm happy, but I'm always worried.

Right now, I have about 2 and a half weeks to go until my next... transformation.

And I'm happy, because at this time of the month I'm the most well.

I'm not as sick as I am right before the full moon, and I'm not as hurt as I am right after it.

But I'm still worried that in two and a half weeks I'll be turning into a monster.

What if I _hurt_ somebody?

I... I almost did once.

At home.

I was only 7; I wasn't a very big werewolf.

But I managed to break down the door.

Luckily my parents realised that I had before I managed to hurt them.

I can remember that night.

My parents were already half way up the stairs.

There was a part of me that remembered who they were.

A part of me that didn't want to hurt them.

It's like when you walk into a room and there's a huge bowl of chocolate sitting right in the middle of it, and you know you shouldn't have any but you can't help it.

It was a mix between that and being trapped inside a body that wouldn't do what I wanted it to.

I snarled at them, and my dad spun around.

I leapt at him, but he cast a shield charm between us that I couldn't get around.

Then he and my mother kept running, even though I could see the pain in their eyes at having to abandon their son.

They slammed the door at the top of the stairs and reinforced it so I couldn't get through.

But I still tried.

I woke up that morning in bed, with my parents standing over me.

They smiled at me as I woke up and I smiled back until I remembered the night before.

I could see my horrified face reflected in their eyes.

Even now I feel guilty.

But they insist that we see it as something to learn from.

My dad claims that now we know that we have to reinforce the door, and my mum (who's a healer) insists that she now has a 'hypothesis' about werewolves remembering things during their transformations.

She thinks it has something to do with the humans inside them and those emotions being brought to the surface.

My grandparents help as much as they can too, but being muggles they can't do nearly as much.

People would think they were losing it if they started going around researching werewolf behavioural patterns.

But it was really inconvenient that I had to leave _two days_ before the end of term.

_Two days!_

I mean, even _I_ wondered why I would be visiting my grandmother _two days_ before the end of term.

What if they figure out?

What if it slips out somehow and they never speak to me again and think I've lied to them and think I'm a terrible person and go tell everyone in the whole school and people will start being pulled out of Hogwarts just because I'm a-

No.

That's _not_ going to happen.

And _no one _is going to find out.

And I bet what Lily said had nothing to do with it at all.

I was just being paranoid, I'm sure.

Just before I left with Professor McGonagall, while I was saying good bye to my friends, Lily gave me a hug (oh shut up! It's not that big of a deal, friends do that all the time) and whispered, 'I hope you both are fine.'

What does she mean by that?

Was she just saying that to be a good friend and to say that she hopes I'll be fine over the holidays?

Or does she know?

Does she know that I'm a monster, and does she know that I'm going away not to see my Grandmother at all but to be locked in my basement to try desperately to attack my own parents-

But... if she does know...

She wasn't horrified.

She hasn't stopped talking to me; she hasn't acted any differently towards me; she hasn't reacted in any way at all.

She actually looked me in the eyes, _hugged_ me, and said with actual compassion, _I hope you both are ok_.

Does she know?

If she does, why isn't she appalled?

Why doesn't she think I'm a monster?

Will she tell anyone?

WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT TINY COMMENT!

*deep breath*

So that's my big question.

Does Lily Evans know my secret?

Does she know I'm a monster?

Does she?

**Remus.**

**I am so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry that it took so long. And you should all hate me right now for taking so long. But hopefully I'll make up for it somehow.**

**Sorry for the short, non exciting chapter. I understand that like nothing happened, but I couldn't exactly put _nothing_ through the holidays, and I already did something exciting. So I promise I'll make it up to you somehow.**

**And I know I don't deserve it, but reviews? Reviews really do encourage me to write! I'll see one and think 'Wow, people out there like my writing' and it's really encouraging.**

**Love you all!  
Alysa**


	35. of Confessions, Birthdays and Mermaids

**Diaries of Hogwarts Past**

**Do I look richer than the queen? No. So obviously I'm not J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 35 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts**

* * *

**Lily's Diary 1:10am 30****th**** January 1973**

Guess what!

Well, you're a diary so you can't guess, but today is an extremely special day.

MY BIRTHDAY!

Yes, I am now a teenager.

13 years old!

It feels pretty cool to finally enter teenager-hood.

And I got some pretty cool presents from all my friends.

Kelsey got me some new sugar quills and some rainbow in (she knows I love to colour-code my notes)!

Sav got me a notebook, but its leather bound not spiral bound so I know its good quality.

She also got me a few lead quills (similar to a pencil).

Bee got me some awesome new shoes.

They look like ballet flats, but they change colour so they go perfectly with whatever you're wearing.

I put them on straight away and they faded into black, to go with my school robes.

Then when I went down to breakfast I was presented with _more_ presents from, would you believe it, the Marauders!

Sirius and Peter sheepishly told me they'd given me a monthly subscription to _Witch Weekly – Teenager_ (and I have no idea how I have a monthly subscription to a weekly magazine).

Remus gave me an amazing present.

After walked towards me, he handed me a lily, but it was just a bud.

He was wearing gloves.

Slowly I reached out and took it. As soon as I touched it, the lily burst into flower.

The flower was bright, new and in full bloom, the petals reaching outwards and facing the sky.

Remus smiled. 'It'll represent your mood.' He said. 'If you're happy, the flower looks bright and new and... pretty much like it does now. If you're sad, it'll droop and look old.'

I looked up at him and smiled. 'Thanks Rem.' I said. 'That's really thoughtful of you.'

Then I felt someone looking at me.

I look over to find Sev smiling at me from the Slytherin Table.

He smiled harder when I saw him, and he got up.

I started walking over to him but James caught my hand and slipped a bit of parchment inside it.

'Look at it later.' He said quietly.

Then he smiled and squeezed my hand before he let go.

I smiled back, and then walked towards Sev.

At some point over the holidays, maybe around his birthday, he had shot up and now stood a whole head taller than me.

When I reached him I threw my arms around his neck.

'Sev!' I squealed.

And don't start thinking that I like Sev like that.

Sev's my best friend; I can hug him without people thinking I have a crush on him if I want to.

And anyway, he's practically my brother.

He chuckled before returning the hug.

'Hey Lils. Happy Birthday.' He said into my hair.

Then he pulled away and held out a little white bundle tied with an orange ribbon.

'It's not much.' He shrugged, and tried not to look embarrassed. 'But I hope you like it.'

I took it and was just about to open it but he just said, 'Smell it.'

I brought it to my nose and inhaled.

Immediately I was filled with comforting childhood smells.

Lilies from the bushes outside my house.

Lavender from by the creek.

Peppermint from outside Sev's house.

There was a hint of vanilla.

The smell of my mum's perfume.

The baby powder that Rose smells like.

The scent of the bark from the tree we sit in.

A flood of memories ran through my head.

I looked back at Sev; the lily in my hand practically glowing.

'Thanks Sev' I said quietly, but the smile on my face betraying how happy I was. 'It's amazing.'

He shrugged again.

'I mean, it's nothing like _that_.' He gestured to the lily in my hand. 'But I thought you might like it.'

And I did.

To anyone else it wouldn't have seemed that important, but it meant a lot to me.

I hugged him again, inhaling the only smell he forgot to put in the bundle.

He rested his head on the top of mine and we both ignored the glares coming from both of our friends.

Finally he pulled away.

'I should get back to my table.' He said, his cheeks slightly red. 'I'll see you in potions.'

With that he walked off to his table.

When I arrived back at the Gryffindor Table, James scooted (is that a word? Maybe I should use shuffled instead...) over closer to me.

'So.' He said, obviously trying to be polite but actually really curious. 'What did... _Severus_ give you?'

I held out the bundle.

He took it and tossed it around a bit. 'Ah.' He said, and then paused. 'What is it?'

I laughed softly.

'Smell it.' I said, and James took a tentative sniff.

'So... it's a nice smelling thingy?' He said.

'Never mind.' I smiled, and he smiled too.

I got the feeling that he was smiling because he thought his present would be heaps better than Sevs.

But honestly, Sev always gives me my favourite presents.

Everyone else gives me awesome ones too, but Sev's are from the heart.

But speaking of James' present, I just checked to see what it was.

It was just a note saying:

_Dear Lily_

_When I thought of what to get you, I couldn't think of anything. And I didn't want to get you anything that could result in something like last year. So I thought I show you something; a memory, not a material present. Tonight at 11:45 I'll come and get you. Please._

_James._

What does he want to show me?

And at almost _midnight_?

And how is he going to 'come and get me'?

He can't get into my dorm!

But I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Should I be scared?

Now 13, _**Lily.**_

* * *

**Severus' Diary 5:45pm 30****th**** January 1973**

It's Lily's birthday today,

I gave her a little bag filled with different scents from home.

To tell the truth, I was a little embarrassed.

Ok, I was a lot embarrassed.

I mean, Lupin gave her a pretty rare type of magic as a present.

Even that Malfin girl gave her magic shoes.

All I could give her a little hand-made package.

But she really seemed to like it.

I just thought that since she was away for most of the year, she might like something to remind her of home.

Well, she did.

When she saw it she gave me the biggest hug – bigger than what she gave her other friends.

I'm glad that I'm taller than she is; it meant I could rest my head on top of hers.

And smell the strawberry scent of her hair.

One day I want a bottle of her shampoo.

Then I looked up at Potter.

Ok, I admit, he hasn't been picking on me as much this year.

And I think it's because of Lily.

I guess he's realised that if he wants Lily in his life, he needs to accept that I am too.

I guess he can be a _little _smart sometimes.

As we locked eyes, we had a sort of non-verbal conversation.

He looked threateningly at me, and I held Lily tighter.

Then I nodded and narrowed my eyes at him.

He seemed surprised, but nodded too.

By the end of that 5 second conversation we had a mutual agreement – Hurt Lily and you pay.

I'm surprised that we actually agreed on something, but when someone like Lily comes into your life you don't let her go.

And I'm not going to.

Not for anything in the whole world.

Ever.

Later, **Sev**.

* * *

**James' Diary 1:55am 31****th**** January 1973**

Tonight was amazing.

It was one of the best nights of my year so far.

Which isn't very many days to have it out of, but it was still amazing.

But of course, you don't know what I'm talking about.

So I'll start from the beginning

In the holidays I was thinking about Lily.

I was just lying under my favourite tree in the corner of the garden and thinking about the way she walked, and how she shifted her books from arm to arm on her way to class when one got tired.

I was thinking about how gorgeous her smile is, and how cute she is when she gets embarrassed and starts fiddling with her hair, and how magical (no pun intended) her laugh sounds.

I was thinking about when she comes down for breakfast, lunch or dinner and she tosses her head as she sits down so that her hair is off her shoulders and the faint smell of strawberries wafts over and enshrouds me.

And, as you can probably guess from all that, I was thinking about how much I like her.

Yes, as I realised during the holidays, I have a crush on Lily Evans.

So for her birthday I wanted to give her something special.

_Really_ special.

So I did some research.

Yes, actual research.

My parents thought I was sick.

But I found out that on certain dates the mermaids have a festival.

Well, not really a festival, but they use their magic in a sort of dance.

All the descriptions of it sounded so beautiful, and I just knew that I was going to take Lily to see it for her birthday.

So at 11 o'clock when everyone else was asleep, I got dressed, spent almost half an hour trying to make my hair stay flat (it still failed).

At 11:35 I crept down to the team locker room, grabbed my broom and flew up to Lily's room (let me tell you, the fact that I'd spent the last couple of days finding her room from the outside helped. A lot.).

At exactly 11:45 I tapped on Lily's window, and within a few seconds her confused face peered out.

When she saw me her eyes widened and she opened the window.

'James Potter!' she hissed 'What are you _doing_?

I smiled at her innocently.

'Picking you up.' I said.

'On a _broom_!'

I almost started laughing at the look that was on her face, but I stuck with just the smile and nodded.

'Come on.' I told her. 'Just sit down on the window ledge and I'll help you on.'

She but her bottom lip hesitantly, but I gestured for her to hurry up.

'We don't have all night!' I told her, and she slowly crept onto the ledge – her legs dangling precariously.

'Just don't look down.' I advised, which was a stupid thing to say.

Immediately she looked down at the ground – which from Gryffindor tower made trees look tiny and the lake like a pond.

Her face paled, but I continued forcefully.

'Lily, just get on. I'm not going to let you fall'

She licked her lips and nodded.

'One, two, three!' She whispered to herself, and on the three she slipped off the window sill and onto the broom.

My arms locked around her as soon as she landed, holding her close against me so she wouldn't fall.

And, just possibly, because I wanted to have her close to me.

She took a couple of sharp breaths and I whispered in her ear,

'See? I would never let you fall. Now hold on. I won't go too fast I promise.'

Then I angled the broomstick down and gently flew towards the lake.

'There.' I said as we landed. 'Easy'

We hopped off and I took her over to one of the 200 year old trees that sit by overlay the bank.

We sat down against it and she turned to me.

'So what are we doing here?' She asked.

I just winked. 'You'll see. But you're going to love it. I promise.' I told her.

By now it was about 5 to 12.

We sat in silence for a minute until I saw Lily shivering.

She hadn't brought a jumper or anything, so I asked,

'You look cold. Do you want my jacket?' I slid it off and held it out to her.

Being Lily Evans, she declined.

'N-no.' She said stubbornly. 'I'm fine.'

I chuckled softly before placing it over her shoulders.

She didn't respond to it for a while, but soon she was pulling it a bit further over her arms.

'Thanks.' She said suddenly.

I turned.

'For what?'

'For your jacket. For not hexing Sev for giving me a birthday present. For this.' Lily smiled shyly. 'Whatever it is.'

She laughed.

'Well-' I start to reply but I see a light rising from the water, slowly getting closer to the surface.

'Shhh!' I ushered her. 'It's starting.'

I pointed to where the light was.

As it broke the surface I saw that it was actually a lantern floating a couple of feet above the water, and inside was filled with fire, but no fire I'd ever seen before.

It was pure white, but deep white.

I don't know how to describe it.

I heard Lily gasp beside me as a dozen mermaids suddenly leapt out of the water in a circle surrounding the lantern.

When they were in the water their faces and hair looked sickly and green and their tails dull and ugly, but as they leapt out of the water the light flowed over them.

Their faces looked almost human, but breath-takingly beautiful and their hair flew out behind them in waves of bead. beauty and colour.

Their tails were bright and silver, gleaming with every colour in the rainbow and more.

I didn't know Lily had leaned forward until she whispered in my ear,

'Where did you find _out_ about this!'

I grimaced at the memory. 'I did some... research?' I replied as a question.

For a moment I was mesmerised by how amazing she looked in this magic light.

Her hair shone like fire and her eyes sparkled like real emeralds.

Her face was smooth and the edges of her cheeks curved downwards perfectly to form a slightly pointed chin.

Then mermaids were leaping everywhere, in and out of each other in a sort of dance, forming a pattern that you couldn't really see, only feel.

A type of music was playing, but we couldn't hear it.

It was just _there_.

We sat there for over an hour; just watching the dance as the light faded and faded until it was merely a pinprick in a dark night.

Then it disappeared altogether, and the splashes of the merpeople were gone.

I turned to Lily, but I couldn't see her.

'Lumos.' I murmured and she appeared, an amazed look on her face.

Like the look a little kid gives at Christmas when he got the present he always wanted, only a billion times more excited.

'That... was... _incredible_.' She whispered.

I took her hand and helped her stand.

'I can't explain how incredible that was' she said again, almost talking to herself.

'I know I replied. 'It was.'

The shook her head, as if to clear her mind, and then slipped my jacket off her shoulders.

She handed it out to me, and our fingers brushed for a moment.

'Um... I should go now. Back up to my room I mean. Can you, um, fly me back up?'

'Of course.' I nod, and as I turned to get my Nimbus I could've sworn I saw something in the open window.

But I blinked and it was gone, and I decided it was my imagination.

'Here' I said, turning back to Lily and holding out the broom. 'You hop on first and I'll get on behind you.'

She obliged, and we flew back to her room.

But as she stepped in the window she turned around.

'Thank you, James.' She said. 'That was amazing.'

Then she was gone.

I may or may not have done a couple of loop-the-loops on the way back.

But that was my totally amazing night.

I bet you're totally jealous.

But I should get at least 5 hours sleep tonight.

Night, **James.**

**So, like it? The next one will hopefully be updated pretty soon, but i cant promise anything. Yearlies and all. And I see quite a few people favouriting and alerting (YAY! THANK YOU!) but for some reason not reviewing... It takes less than a minute. Really.**

**And (sorry Sunshine (who just happens to be the bestest beta ever), i'm kind of _borrowing_ your idea) I will give a little sneak peak of the next chapter to the longest review!**

**Get reviewing peoples!**

**Alysa**


	36. of Valentines Day, Dates and Fights

**Diaries of Hogwarts Past**

**I don't own anything that you recognise.**

**Chapter 36 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts**

**For Cas, if you're reading this.**

* * *

**Lily's Diary 11:23am 14****th**** February 1973**

Well diary, today is Valentine's Day.

'YAY!' you might say.

Well I don't think so.

But I suppose I have to tell you what happened.

So today I woke up 7 like I always do, was changed by 7:30, as always, and at 7:35 I was just about to walk out of the common room (of course, like every other day), but suddenly I heard a voice call,

'Lily, WAIT!'

So I turned around to find James running down the stairs from his dorm.

He waves me over to the middle of the room and I walk over, extremely confused.

Then he _knelt_ (yes, actually _knelt_) in front of me and said in a loud clear voice for everyone in the common room to hear (which, luckily, was not a lot of people),

'Lily Evans, will you go out with me?'

He was grinning, but not the smile I like, it was that arrogant grin that I hate.

I have no idea what expression was on my face, but I know inside I was absolutely horrified.

I mean, James is cute.

He's funny and charming and a Quidditch player, and great once you got to know him, but he's _James_.

My _**friend**_ James.

_**FRIEND.**_

And he's totally not my type!

But he was still there, kneeling on the ground in front of me, grinning his face off.

'James...' I managed to croak out. 'James... I'm sorry... I can't... you're my friend... I just can't... I'm sorry...'

With that I ran back up the stairs and slammed the door to my room.

I didn't even know what happened to James after I left him kneeling there.

But I was so _confused_.

Why would James want to go out with _me_?

Does he actually _want_ to?

Was it just a joke, or dare, or a bet that his friends have made him do?

Or was it sincere?

Did he actually want to go out with me?

And I'm only 13!

And he's only _12_.

We're way too young for anything like that!

But was it only a joke, just to see what my reaction would be?

Thoughts like that ran through my head for the next half an hour, until Kelsey, Sav and Bee ran through the door after breakfast.

When they saw me sitting on the bed, probably with my eyes all red and puffy from crying, they gasped and ran over.

'So it's _true!_?'

'James Potter actually asked you out!'

'We couldn't believe it!'

'And you _rejected_ him!'

'_Why_!'

'You just _left_ him there!'

'Did he actually _kneel_!'

'And give you a ring?'

I just couldn't stand their shouting, so I screamed, '_**YES!**_' Then I paused. 'Well, no to the ring, but he asked me out, and yes I... I freaked out and ran off.' I mumbled the last part.

They all stared, and then asked in unison, '_Why?_'

'Well... James is my _friend_. And... We wouldn't work... and... What if it was a joke or something... and we're too young! And... And... And...'

They just looked at me.

'Well, you're going to have to face him _sometime_.' Kelsey said.

'What?' I replied, not comprehending.

Savannah rolled her eyes. 'You have to leave the dorm _sometime_. And since you go to the same school-'

'-And are in the same house-'

'-And are in the same class-'

'-And live in the same _tower_.' Sav finished. 'You're going to have to see him. And you're going to have to talk to him.'

I almost hit myself.

I'd almost forgotten that I'd have to face him, what with all the things running through my head.

'And think about it' Bee pointed out. 'You can't just never speak to him again. You left him _kneeling_ in the middle of the common room. The least you can do is tell him _why_.'

I nodded, and then stood.

'Right. I'll go tell him n... later. Maybe tomorrow.'

I tried to sit back on the bed, but they stopped me.

'No no no no no!' They said.

Bee gave me a push towards the door and Kelsey said,

'No, you're going NOW. Step up and be a woman!'

'What if I don't want to be a woman? What if I want to be a girl?' I mumbled, but it didn't stop anything.

They all shoved, pinched, pushed, tickled, kicked and pulled me outside and onto the top of the stairs, where I could see James sitting in 'his' chair opposite the fireplace.

At all the 'ow!'s and 'hey!'s and 'eek!'s he looked up, but instead of turning away when he saw me he gave me a slight smile and stood up.

I walked down the stairs, trying to ignore the giggles from my friends who were pretending to not be paying attention, and when I got to the bottom he was already there.

'James-' I tried to say, but he cut me off.

'Lily, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you out, especially as a joke. I should've realised how you'd feel about it.' He looked at me until I realised I was supposed to say something.

'Oh. Um... wait, it was a joke?'

After a slight pause he nodded. 'Yeah... my friends dared me to. But that doesn't mean it was right to do that. I'm sorry.'

I sighed in relief and smiled.

'Wait, you're... _ok_, with that?' He asked hesitantly.

I nodded. 'Well, I suppose it's better than you _actually_ liking me. It's just that I wouldn't really want to go out with you. No offense.' I added after seeing the look on his face.

'And why not?' He asked stiffly (probably just at the fact that a girl is defying his 'charms')

'Well, for one, I'm only 13. And you're only 12. It's just way too young. And we're totally different. It just wouldn't work out.' I blurted it all out, just relieved he didn't _actually_ like me.

'Ok.' He replied. 'I should be getting back to the boys. See ya.'

With that he turned around and walked back up the stairs without looking back and I walked back up the stairs to mine.

I told my friends everything, and we all laughed at how freaked out I had been.

But I'm going to find Sev now.

He's going to find it _so _funny.

Love, _**Lily.**_

* * *

**James' Diary 1:14am 14****th**** February 1973**

Today I did the stupidest thing in the history of stupid things I have ever done.

It was even more stupid than having that hot-dog eating contest with Sirius and then... well never mind.

But today I asked Lily on a date.

I didn't know what was going on!

I was just walking down the stairs and suddenly I couldn't let Lily walk out the portrait without saying anything.

And suddenly I was kneeling in front of her with a nervous smile on my face asking her on a date.

It was so exhilarating, but I was so scared too.

I had no idea what I was expecting to happen, but the end result certainly wasn't what I was hoping.

Her eyes went wide and an expression of pure _horror_ crossed her face.

She started mumbling incoherent words, but I couldn't hear what she was saying, only see her mouth move around, forming words that I couldn't hear.

Then she ran back up the stairs to her dorm and slammed the door.

As soon as it did I was grabbed on both sides and practically frog-marched up the stairs into my room.

I was dumped onto the bed by Sirius and Remus and all three of my friends sat on Sirius' bed in from of me.

There's silence for a few moments before I try to open my mouth, but Sirius cut in.

'What, _the hell_, what THAT!' He asked.

'What?' I tried to ask, but he wouldn't let me.

'Asking a girl on a _date_? What about us? The _Marauders!_ You know, US, NOT a girl! And _Lily Evans_! What were you _thinking!_'

I groaned and put my face in my hands. 'I wasn't' I moaned. 'She was just _there_... and I just _had _to ask... And her face... Euh I'm such an _idiot_...'

Sirius opened his mouth again, probably to say 'Yea, you are.' but Remus cut in.

'Wait, you actually _like_ Lily Evans? Like, _like_ like?'

'No...' I automatically deny it, but then give up pretending. 'Yea. Yea I do. Merlin what's wrong with me...? I'm such an idiot... Now we'll never be friends again... Merlin... I'm such an _idiot_...'

They all looked at each other.

'James.' Remus said again. 'If you need a solution, just say we dared you or something. But-'

'You _actually _like Lily Evans!' Sirius asked. He rolled his eyes. 'You actually asked her out? What about US!'

I blinked, and thought about it.

Telling Lily that it was a joke would probably make her mad at me, but at least nothing would be awkward, and she'd get over it.

Now that my mind was clearer and I had an excuse that wouldn't ruin my friendship with Lily, I could actually think.

'Guys, just because I asked a girl out doesn't mean that she takes preference over you! No one could! Guys, if you _seriously_ think that a girl could ever come between us, then there's something really wrong.'

Sirius looked hesitant for a moment before saying, 'Since when did my name become an adjective?'

I smiled, knowing that he knew I was serious (NO SIRIUS JOKE INTENDED).

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Ad_verb_ Sirius. Not adjective. Ad_verb_.'

Sirius turned. 'And I care... why?'

We all laughed, and then I spoke again.

'Really, you thought I'd ditch you? For a girl? Come on! Marauders do _not_ ditch each other. Especially for girls. We're BFF's and all that. And I'm promising that all _always_ be there for you guys. No matter what.' A funny expression crossed Remus' face, but before I could think about it Sirius shouted, 'All for one and one for all!' in such a dramatic voice that we couldn't help but want to laugh and he held out his hand.

We all piled our hand on top of his and shouted 'Marauders!'

Then we all sat there for a moment longer until Peter said, 'Well I hate to break up this little 'D&M' moment (deep and meaningful moment), but James kind of has something he needs to tell Lily.'

I nodded, took a deep breath and stood.

On my way out I heard Sirius say, 'I don't know what was sadder, the fact that you_ said_ D&M or the fact that I understood what you meant by it...'

So I spoke to Lily, confessed (untruthfully) that it was all a joke, listened to her list the reasons why she couldn't go out with me (which hurt a lot more than I'm willing to admit) and that was that.

My friendship was saved, my heart a little crushed, but I survived Valentine's Day.

Go me.

**James.**

* * *

**Severus' Diary 5:23am 14****th**** February 1973**

Well, today was certainly... eventful.

What is it with Valentine's Day and fights over Lily?

But I'm not always complaining, I always seem to win them.

So, pretty much what happened is this:

This afternoon Lily came and found me and said she had a really funny story to tell me.

So she told me all about how this morning Potter had asked her out and said it was a joke 5 minutes later.

Well, there was a bit more to it than that, but that's pretty much it.

And yes, I was mad.

How could I not be!

He had asked Lily out for a _joke_.

A _joke_.

As soon as I heard the story, I stormed off to find Potter, ignoring Lily's shocked face as I turned around with a murderous expression on my own face.

I ignored all the 'wait!''s and the 'but honestly, I was _happy_ that he was joking!''s and walked straight up to him in the Great Hall, chatting with his friends.

As soon as they saw me walking over they stopped talking and watched me warily.

Black moved his hand towards his wand, Lupin adjusted his position so he could stand up faster and Pettigrew shuffled backwards a bit.

The only person who didn't move after seeing me was Potter.

He just looked at me carefully.

I reached them quickly.

'May I have a word, _James_?' I gritted through my teeth.

Black looked like he was about to say, 'No way in _hell_ Snape' But before he could open his moth Potter replied,

'Of course, _Severus_.' With the same emphasis on my name that I put on his.

He didn't move.

'In private?' I suggested.

He nodded and stood.

Lily still stood in the doorway to the Hall, not daring to interrupt now that I had gone this far.

We walked over to the other side of the Great Hall.

'What do you want Snape?' He asked once we got far out of earshot, no longer faking politeness.

'I want you to stay away from Lily.' I answered.

He looked confused. 'Why in Merlin's name would I do _that_? Lily's my friend; I can hang out with her if I want to.'

I crossed my arms.

'Yeah, but you _can't _make jokes about wanting to go out with her. Not to Lily. So just stay away from her.'

James' face turned from confused to angry.

'I can do whatever the hell I want!' he shouted. 'You can't order me around!'

Suddenly his wand was out and I was sprawled on the floor.

'Sev!' I heard Lily scream and she started running over.

I brought out my wand. 'Progre-'

'EXPELLIARMUS!'

My wand flew out of my hand and landed on the floor by the wall.

'Furnunculus!' He shouted again, and suddenly everywhere hurt.

'Sev!' Lily shouted again, getting closer.

James started sending stinging hexes at me, even when Lily leaped at him and started trying to drag his arm down.

It didn't stop anything; Potter was obviously a lot stronger than she was.

'James, STOP!' Lily screamed, but he just gave her another shove and she fell, crumpled on the floor.

She reached inside her robes and grabbed her wand. 'Pertrificus Totalus!' She cried and James froze.

Then she ran over to me and helped me up. 'Oh Sev.' She whispered. 'I'm so sorry.'

I opened my mouth to tell her it wasn't her fault, but I couldn't help but wince as I stood.

Lily frowned.

'One second' She told me and walked over to Potter, whose friends were still running over.

She walked right up to him, looked him straight in the eye and slapped him straight across the face.

The only thing that moved was his eyes, which widened in pain.

I only heard a faint whisper of what she said to him. 'I thought… my friend? …promised… Bye Potter.'

She turned around and only I could've seen the hurt in her eyes before she shook her head and walked over to me.

Then there was only compassion for me.

She helped me to the hospital wing and I got all fixed up.

But it was worth it.

Of course, I never meant for it to happen, but it did.

Lily now realizes who James Potter _really_ is, not that false friendship he put out.

And hopefully she won't fall for it again.

But I think The Prank will be coming up very soon (Yes, with capital letters).

We've almost got it completely planned, but one little detail.

Maybe in a month or two.

Be ready for the funniest thing you'll ever see in your whole life.

**Severus**

* * *

**Kelsey's Diary 7:17am 14****th**** February 1973**

Something amazing happened today!

And before you say, 'oh yea, Lily and James' fight' it's not.

Something happened to _me_ for once.

Today I met the most amazing guy.

Funnily enough, I crashed into him.

I was running to potions and when I turned the corner he seemed to come out of nowhere and I ran into him.

I was knocked over (but of course, he barely moved) and all my stuff when all over the floor.

But before my glass inkwell could crash to the floor and smash everywhere, he caught it.

He actually _caught_ it before it hit the ground.

'Oh I'm so sorry.' He said with a slight British accent (I, having lived in America for the first few years of my life before moving to England, noticed. Then again everyone has British accents here – his just seems… I don't know, cooler) 'Here, let me help you up.'

He stuck his arm out and I took his hand.

He pulled me up and handed me the inkwell.

'There you go.'

Then he looked at me.

'I haven't seen you around much before. Are you a… second year?'

I nodded. 'Gryffindor.' I clarified

He held out his hand again.

'Max Byers.' He said. 'Third year Ravenclaw.'

I took his hand to shake it but instead he brought it to his lips and kissed it.

I blushed. Um... nice to meet you.' I stammered, and then cursed myself mentally. _Pull yourself together woman! _I thought, and then cleared my throat.

'Well, nice to meet you Max, but I really should be getting to potions.' I told him while picking up my stuff and putting it in my bag.

'Here, I'll walk you! He said eagerly. 'I was heading down that way anyway. I had to see Professor Slughorn anyway about my essay.' He grabbed by bag off me.

'Well, although that's very kind of you, I am capable of carrying my own bag to class.' I told him, trying to take it back but he wouldn't let me.

'No, I'd like to.' He insisted.

I hesitated.

'Come on, you'll be late otherwise!'

I rolled by eyes and sighed, but started walking next to him.

On the way to class, I found out a lot more about him.

He seemed really eager for me to get to know him.

He's 13, turning 14 on May 19th, he's a keeper for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and he loves transfiguration.

He's the eldest child in his family with 3 younger sisters, all of them magical.

One of them is coming to Hogwarts next year, and the others 7 and 4.

His dad works in the ministry as part of the Wizengamot (like the wizard court).

By the time I reached my class I knew almost all about him.

We stopped just before the door – out of sight of the class.

'Well, bye.' I said. 'And, uh, thanks for walking me.'

I felt almost sad that I had to go.

He smiled. 'No problem.' He said and handed me back my bag.

I took a step towards the door.

'Wait!' he said, and then blushed. 'Um, will I see you again?' he asked. 'At breakfast?'

I blushed too, much to my dismay. 'Uh, sure.' I told him. 'B-bye.' I said again and rushed inside.

'Nice of you to join us, Miss Maglens.' Slughorn said, only half caring, and ushered me to my seat.

Lily, Sav and Bee all looked at me questioningly but I ignored them.

I'll tell them… later.

When the whole Lily/James fight things blows over.

And when I work out whether it's _worth _telling or not.

And how I feel about it.

…But he was pretty cute :)

_**Kelsey**_

**Ok, I owe like EVERYONE a HUGE apology. I promised that I would have this up like 2 weeks ago, but things came up (such as my mum banning me from the computer due to exams then the computer breaking the day they finished). And I know that's no excuse. But hopefully this chapter made up for it :D**

**I know I don't deserve it, but R&R? Please? Even just a sentence saying that you like it (or you don't)?**

_**Alysa**_


	37. Of Secrets, Brothers and Flashbacks

**Diaries of Hogwarts Past**

**I don't own Harry Potter the book or the movie (WHICH IS THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE EVER IN THE WHOLE OF THE UNIVERSE (including Pigfarts))**

**Chapter 37 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts**

* * *

**James' Diary 10:10am 19****st**** February1973**

I can't believe it.

I never would have guessed.

_Ever_.

Well, maybe, but I still can't believe it.

The only thing that could _possibly_ even _remotely_ be as 'wow' as this would've been that Evans agreed to go out with me (which I have been asking her every day since Valentines Day. Partly just to prove to 'Snivellus' that I can and partly because, well, I actually want her to go out with me)

But it's got to be the only solution.

But I suppose I should start from the beginning.

So, on the night of the 17th of February, Sirius, Peter and I had another 'meeting' (our third) on why Remus wasn't here.

Peter (he is actually extremely clever at times) had written down all the dates he was away, and they seemed random.

But we all worked at trying to find out how they connected.

Well, Peter and I worked hard; Sirius was relaxing back in his chair.

Then suddenly we heard Sirius shout as his chair tipped backwards.

We jumped up and ran to help him up but he sat on the floor and stared out the window.

'Sirius?' Peter asked, but Sirius didn't answer.

'Sirius? Mate, you ok?' I asked but he only raised and arm and pointed out the window.

Peter and I looked but we couldn't see anything out of place.

'Sirius? What is it?' I persisted and after a while we heard Sirius' voice, but faint and a lot different to his usual boisterous attitude.

'O-on the other two nights, I-I didn't notice... But it was there. It was there and it's there now...' He muttered.

'Sirius, _what's_ there?' Peter asked.

Sirius moved his hand slightly to show us and exact position of where we were looking

'The moon? Sirius what does that have to do-' I started, but realized what he meant.

'The-the _full_ moon? Why would he go at the...' I started again, but again realizing before finishing. 'Peter.' I said, by voice clear and calm, unlike how I was feeling. 'Check the other dates.'

I heard a rustle of papers as I started out the window at the round, silver moon, not realising that its beauty could mean something so different to someone else.

'They-they are.' Peter said, his voice wavering. 'They're all full moons...'

We all sat there for a while before I said, 'But- but it couldn't be true, could it? I mean, what if he _is _going to see his Grandmother or his mother or whoever he said and it just happened to be over the full moon...?'

No one said anything – they didn't have to.

We all knew that what I said wasn't true.

We all knew that we had found out his secret – and it hadn't been what we expected.

After another long silence, Peter spoke. 'But this doesn't make a difference, right? I mean, he's still Remus... isn't he?'

There was another long silence as we thought about what Peter said.

Our whole lives we had grown up despising werewolves, thinking they were evil and cruel.

Werewolves were one of those creatures that we were taught to fear and hate, and learning that our best friend was one really stumped us.

Remus wasn't cruel or evil and all through school (so far) I had had this nagging feeling the Remus... that Remus feared us.

Or at least feared the school.

And now we knew why.

If it got out that he was what he was – a werewolf – he would be ruined.

Probably expelled from Hogwarts; no one would want their kids around a werewolf.

Before now we were all annoyed that he wouldn't tell us his secret – now we understood.

But he's still Remus.

The Remus that is kind and accepting and thoughtful and so sensitive that we (or at least Sirius) joked that he _must _be gay.

The Remus that we never would've thought could be a werewolf.

Surprisingly, Sirius spoke first.

'Yes, he is still Remus. I don't care that once a month he's a werewolf, for the rest of the time he's Remus. _Our _Remus. He can't help being a werewolf, can he? If he could I would bet you everything I owned that he would get rid of it somehow, but he can't. The way I see it is that once a month he's a monster... and the rest of the time he's trying to make up for it. And I'm not going to desert him.'

There was a fierce sort of loyalty in Sirius' eyes – the type I sometimes saw in my dad's eyes just before he went out on a dangerous mission to protect other people, or to protect us.

Family loyalty.

Sirius never had a proper family – we were the closest he had.

And he wasn't going to let a minor inconvenience stop him from having the family that we promised him we would be.

I stood up from the seat I hadn't even realised I was sitting in. 'Neither am I. Remus is more than my friend – he's my brother and I promised I would stick by him no matter what, so I'm going to stick by him.'

It wasn't a whole speech like Sirius, but I didn't think it mattered.

I _was _sticking by Remus no matter what.

Who cares if he was a werewolf!

'M-me too' said Peter, and it was one of the rare occasions that I thought he looked proud that he was sticking up for something.

'So... when are we going to tell him?' Sirius asked.

'Tell him what?' I replied.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

'That we know that he's a were... that he's what he is. We have to tell him that we know and that we're going to stick by him. That we don't care what he is. We can't just _not_ tell him.'

'Sirius is right.' I told Peter. 'We have to tell him. How about... the first night he comes back. So that, and I hate to say it, but we can stop him if he tries to run away. He'll still be weak from his... transformation, so if possible we could stop him running.'

Peter was still clueless. 'But why would he run away?' he asked.

'Well, if you were a werewolf and we told you that we knew what you were, what would you want top do first? Run.' Sirius told him. 'And Remus needs to know as soon as possible. We'll do it the first night he comes back.'

I nodded. 'Should we take his wand?' I asked. 'So if we lock the door he can't get out?'

'Good idea.' Sirius praised, and we spent the rest of the night deciding how to tell Remus.

So we're going to tell him tonight.

Well, he isn't actually back yet, but McGonagall said that he'd be back around 7 tonight.

So when he comes back we'll tell him.

I wonder how he'll take it.

I guess we'll just have to wait and find out.

Wish me luck.

Later, **James.**

* * *

**Remus' Diary 10:34pm 19****st**** February1973**

They... they know.

My friends know my secret.

They know I'm a werewolf.

But... they don't hate me.

They don't care that I'm a monster.

They said so.

Just tonight, they said so.

So I came back from the secret room in the Hospital Wing tonight and when I got to the common room they all ran down the stairs.

'Remus!' they yelled and they all surrounded me with hugs and pats on the back as they asked, 'How's your Grandmother?' and 'We're so glad your back!'

Then James said, 'Remus, come on, we've got something to show you!'

They all ran up the stairs and I followed, smiling, wondering what they could possibly show me that would get them so excited.

I walked through and they were all sitting on Sirius' bed, facing my one, and they motioned for me to sit on my own bed.

I walked over and sat cross-legged on the bed.

'Now close your eyes' Sirius said and I did, expecting to be given something or (you never know) have a bucket of frogs tipped on my head but instead I heard them mutter a few charms and I heard clicks as the doors (including the bathroom door) locked.

'What's going on?' I asked, my eyes still closed and I heard them sigh.

'Remus.' James said. 'We need to talk to you.' Slowly, I opened my eyes and found then sitting there unsmiling.

'Guys, what's going on?' I asked, my throat closing in. _What if they know?_ I thought _What if they know and now they're going to make me leave them forever?_

'Remus.' James said gently, confirming my greatest fears. 'We know.'

I shook my head.

'No-no' I stammered. 'You can't know, you can't! There's nothing to know, nothing at all, you can't know anything!'

They all looked uncomfortably amongst each other.

'Remus.' Sirius said. 'We know that you're a werewolf. But-'

'No!' I shouted, feeling that horrible feeling of emptiness spread throughout my body.

I couldn't deal with this; I couldn't face them now that they knew.

I had to get away, I couldn't sit there and listen to them tell me they hate me and that I had to leave their group.

I jumped up and ran to the door, scrambling for my wand when I found it locked.

But it wasn't there.

I spun around to see Sirius holding my wand sheepishly – he must have taken it when he hugged me.

I looked from left to right – the bathroom door was obviously locked and there were no other ways out except for the windows.

I looked up in panic at James, Sirius and Peter who sitting on the bed watching me with pained expressions, and suddenly my eyes filled with tears.

I slid to the floor and put my face into my knees as I hugged them tightly with my arms; holding myself together.

I started sobbing uncontrollably, spasms shaking my body as my chest heaved and tears running down my cheeks.

I felt them walk slowly over.

'If- if you don't want to talk to me I-I understand.' I whispered. 'You-you can leave and n-never talk to me again. I'll get it. Just please – please don't tell anyone. Please...' I sobbed again as I prepared myself for rejection and humiliation.

For their voices suddenly coming through cruel and harsh, telling me I didn't have the right to ask anything from them – I was a monster and didn't deserve anything.

Instead I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and heard James say,

'Remus... We're not going to leave you. We said we'll be here for you, and we will be. I said 'no matter what' and I meant it.'

I looked up slowly into my friends' kind eyes.

'You're my brother Remus. I'm not going to leave you, No one is. We're all here for you. You're still Remus, you just have... a furry little problem.' Sirius said.

Peter and James smiled at his name for my lycanthropy.

'Re-really?' I hiccupped. 'You... you don't hate me?'

They laughed.

They actually _laughed_.

No, silly.' Said Peter, and suddenly their arms were around me, holding me tight in a sort of silent promise.

I half expecting a trick – that they'd suddenly start laughing and hexing me but they didn't.

They pulled away gently and stood up.

Sirius held out his hand and when I took it he pulled me up.

I walked back to my bed and sat down.

'It was 3 days before my seventh birthday.' I told them, looking at the ground. 'When it happened.'

'Remus.' James said gently. 'You don't have to tell us. If you need some time we understand. Really we do.'

I ignored him and continued.

'I was playing outside and my mum had just called me to come in for dinner. I pretended to ignore her though.' I smiled slightly. 'I was being a medieval wizard on a hippogriff, rescuing a princess.'

The rest of them smiled too, just a little.

'The sun was just setting.' I continued. 'I saw a man in the shadows, over 100 meters away, but I didn't pay attention to him. Being a six year old and all. Then as I slay the dragon guarding my princess I saw the man jerk. He shuddered a little then started growing. His... his skins started turning grey and slightly furry. His nose grew. He bent over as if in pain. Now I know that he was.' I stopped, then took a breath. 'I'm never going to forget it. I stood there staring at him, wondering what had happened. He was curled in a ball, whimpering. I didn't know what was going on. I stook a tentative step towards the grey thing and suddenly its head shot up. Its black eyes focused on me and I did the only thing I could think to do. I ran.'

Suddenly I was there.

I was in the backyard of my old house, staring into the eyes of the thing that had changed my life.

Just like I had when I was six, I turned and ran.

'I called for my mum...' I said, still in my memory

I sprinted towards the house, screaming for my mum and feeling a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach as I her face as she took in her six year old son sprinting across t he lawn with a werewolf catching up.

'Remus!' I still remember the panic in her voice 6 years later.

She ran outside, not caring that she had left her wand inside, and my dad came out a few seconds later with his.

'But they were two late...' I whispered, still staring out the window, remembering what it was like to be bitten.

It didn't hurt.

It was the exact opposite.

It felt like... nothing.

I felt the bite, but instead of pain it was nothing.

This feeling of nothing spread throughout my body.

I didn't even feel when I fell unconscious.

I didn't feel when my mother worked feverishly on me all night, even after the nurses from St Mungos came.

'Even the day after I didn't get why I couldn't feel by shoulder...' I murmured, coming out of my daydream to find that my friends were no longer on the bed opposite me.

They were sitting next to me instead, holding me close to them, as if knowing that it was the first time that I had ever looked back on that day.

And now, thanks to them, I can.

I can look back on that day and not think about how it made me a monster.

And now I'm even closer to them.

We sat there for over an hour, just sitting there in each others arms.

I think now I know what it's like to have a sibling.

And it's not bad.

**Remus**.

* * *

**Sorry! I know it's taken a while and this chapter is really short, but I hope I make up for it. Reviews would be awesome! Cookies for everyone who reviews!**

**Love, Alysa**


	38. Of Switches, Unrequited Love and Grrrr

**Diaries of Hogwarts Past**

I don't own anything that you recognize.

Ok, I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry for not updating sooner! I know that all of you are probably really annoyed at me but I really am sorry.  
And i'm warning everyone - you'll either think that this chapter is hilarious or that i have lost my mind. I hope you find it funny *hopeful smile*

Chapter 38 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

* * *

James' Diary 9:57am 30th March 1973

Ok, there is a reason why I am writing now instead of on my actual birthday (as of 3 days ago I am 13!).

Kinda because on my birthday I was incapable of writing about anything but Sirius...

But that's not the point.

The point is, my birthday was pretty messed up.

In a funny way.

I have to hand it to the Slytherins – they know how to pull a prank.

It all started today at breakfast.

So we were just sitting there eating breakfast, talking about my totally awesome presents and minding our own business when there was a BANG!

We (meaning the Marauders) were flung to the ground and the whole table shook.

'Ow!' Sirius said and I turned.

'You ok Sirius?' I asked.

He looked confused. 'Siri...?' He said as he looked up, and when he caught sight of Remus, started staring at himwith a shocked expression on his face.

'Sirius?' I said again more firmly. 'Are you ok?'

'Yea.' Said Remus, then froze and started back at Sirius with the same expression.

'Guys!' I said, louder this time. 'Are you ok?'

'Ye-yeah.' Sirius said hesitantly. 'I just need to talk to... Remus for a minute.'

'Definitely' Remus agreed and they practically sprinted out of the hall.

I looked at Peter.

'What was that about?' I asked.

'No idea' he replied, shaking his head and continuing eating.

I ate too, but as I sipped on my pumpkin juice I stopped thinking about what Sirius and Remus were doing and started thinking more about Sirius.

Just Sirius in general.

Then I had an epiphany (and don't judge me until the end of the story!).

I realized... that I was in love with Sirius.

How could I have not seen it before?

He is the most amazing, talented, beautiful person I had ever met.

Peter must have notices the changed in my expression because he said,

'James, are you ok?'

I blinked and turned to face him.

'I love Sirius.'

'What!' Peter half spat out his pumpkin juice.

'I love Sirius.' I replied, my smile growing.

'I LOVE SIRIUS!' I yelled to the entire hall and raced out of the hall to find him.

Everyone (except a group of Slytherins who were laughing their slimy heads off) was staring at me, but I didn't care.

I had to find Sirius.

I ran halfway over the castle, not caring about how long I was running around for in my need to find him, before I spied him and Remus walking out of Dumbledore's office, talking quietly to each other.

'Sirius!' I cried and Remus looked up.

I sprinted towards Sirius, needing to tell him out I felt.

'Sirius!' I said again before enveloping him in a giant bear hug.

Sirius took a couple of steps back in shock, and I thought I heard him say,

'Wha...?'

I pulled away and held his face between my hands (with him looked extremely confused).

'I love you.' I whispered to him, staring adoringly into his chocolate brown eyes, which widened in bewilderment.

'What?' He said, trying to back away but I wouldn't let him.

'I love you.' I repeated and leant forward.

'AHHHHHH!' He screamed and pushed me away.

Remus grabbed me so I couldn't get any further towards Sirius, who was scrambling backwards on the floor, trying to get away from me.

'James, what is going on?' Remus asked me.

'I love Sirius.' I repeated for the fifth time today.

Sirius shakily stood up, leaning heavily on the gargoyle.

'Get Dumbledore.' Remus told him and Sirius nodded, backing away slowly.

I realized that he was about to leave.

'No! Come back! I love you!' I yelled.

With that Sirius turned around and sprinted up the stairs to Dumbledore's office.

I struggled against Remus but he wouldn't let me go.

'So... why do you love Sirius?' He asked, seeming uncomfortable.

I sighed. 'Well this morning I just realized. He's so amazing...' I sighed again.

Remus looked uncomfortable and I managed to get free from his grip and I raced towards the stairs.

But before I got there, Dumbledore did.

I crashed into him before I even realized he was there.

'Ah, Mister Potter!' Just the man I wanted to see!' He said.

I spied Sirius hiding behind him and I stopped listening, struggling to get around Dumbledore (who is a lot stronger than he looks).

'Mister Potter, if you please, come with me to see Professor Slughorn. This way now.' He started nudging me down the hall but I wouldn't go.

'But Professor, I have to see Sirius!'

If he thought that was in any way weird, he didn't show it.

'Of course, Mister Potter, I completely understand. Mister Black will indeed be coming with us to see Professor Slughorn. Hurry up now.'

I smiled.

'Well, if Sirius is coming, then of course I'll come!'

I still tried to get around Dumbledore to Sirius, but he still wouldn't let me.

'Mister Potter, if you stand on my left, Mister Black can stand on my right we'll be able to head off.'

I pouted. 'But I want to stand with Sirius!' I protested and both Remus and Sirius flinched a little.

'Well, when you get to Slughorn's office, you can sit next to him, ok?' Dumbledore told me, like explaining something to a 3 year old.

'Hmmm... Ok' I decided and started running down the hall to Slughorn's office.

I burst through his door and ran to sit down on the couch.

'Mister Potter!' Slughorn cried. 'What is the meaning of this!'

'Well you see Professor.' I rambled. "Professor Dumbledore said that I could sit with Sirius when I got down here.'

He looked at me with a mixture of surprise and concern.

'And can't you sit with Mr Black elsewhere? And why do you need to anyway?'

'Well Dumbledore said I needed to come down, and Sirius agreed so I came. And I love him.'

I said again for about the 6th time that day.

'You-you what?' he asked, utterly confused.

'I love Sirius!' I told him eagerly, needing to express my love to everyone.

'I see... and Dumbledore sent you down here did he?

I nodded. 'Oh yes, he should be coming soon. With Sirius...'

I sighed.

Slughorn nodded. 'Well, I think I have just the thing for you.'

He started rummaging around through various bottles.

I sighed again. 'Isn't Sirius so amazing?' I asked.

'Oh, yes.' He replied, only half listening.

'He's the most gorgeous person in the whole wide world.' I said again earnestly.

'Of course.' He replied.

At that point Dumbledore walked into the room.

'Sirius!' I cried and towards him, hoping that he'd be behind Dumbledore.

'Now, now Mister Potter. 'Dumbledore protested calmly. 'I have a strict policy in my school about such things. You and Mister Black are not allowed within one meter of each other at all times.'

My face fell and I didn't notice the thankful look Sirius was shooting towards Dumbledore.

'But I love him!' I complained, as if it would change something.

'I understand that Mister Potter, but those are the rules. Now you can stay there and Sirius and Remus can sit over here, ok?'

I nodded hesitantly, pouting, and Dumbledore went to talk to Slughorn.

Sirius and Remus went to sit down opposite me, looking extremely uncomfortable, and I entertained myself by gazing at him.

Then Dumbledore returned with a vial of a clear liquid that looked like jelly (yes, a liquid that looked like jelly. You didn't misread.)

'If you could just drink this Mister Potter.'

I took the vial and almost gagged at the smell.

'I don't want to drink this!' I protested.

Dumbledore sighed impatiently and looked over at Sirius.

Very uncomfortably, he spoke.

'Uh, please James. Um... could you drink it?'

I smiled, excited that my beloved had asked me to do something for him.

'Of course Sirius, if you want me to.'

I ignored the smell and drank the whole thing in one go.

I smiled at Sirius proudly and went back to gazing at him.

Sirius frowned. 'Um, Professor?' He said. 'Shouldn't it have... um...?'

Dumbledore sighed impatiently again.

'It seems that we are out of the immediate potion.' He explained. 'That one will cause it to wear off twice as fast. He'll be fine again in under an hour.'

Sirius opened his mouth to protest but Dumbledore spoke again.

'However, I am perfectly able to put a shield charm around you until the effects wear off.'

Sirius nodded, and Dumbledore pulled out his wand.

It was then, when my true love was being confronted with a wand that I tuned in.

'What are you doing to Sirius?' I demanded, standing between them.

'N-no James its ok. I want him to.' Sirius said.

'Oh.' I sat back down. 'Ok!'

Then-

Oh, the boys are back!

I have to go.

**James.**

* * *

Lily's Diary 1:32pm 30th March 1973

What was going on with the Marauders the other day?

They were acting all weird after breakfast.

There was an explosion where they were sitting, then Sirius and Remus ran out.

Then, out of the blue, James exclaims that he's fallen in love with Sirius and runs out of the Great Hall too.

Then, if we skip forward about an hour later, in the common room, Sirius and Remus walked looking in looking extremely confused and awkward, with James following adoringly.

I assumed they were just coming in so James could ask me out again, like he has every day ever since Valentine's Day (just to get back at Sev for saying he couldn't I suppose).

Then Sirius sits down on the couch and James tried to sit next to him but can't.

'Um, James?' Sirius asked awkwardly. 'Maybe you should change your shirt. You've still got pumpkin juice on it.'

Of course, James didn't have anything on his shirt, but leapt up off the couch.

'I should... get changed?' He asked again.

'Oh yes, definitely.'

Sirius nodded.

'I'll be back in two seconds!' He promised as he sprinted up the stairs.

The moment he was out of sight Sirius ran up to me and the girls.

'Lily, hide me!'

I turned, half angry that he had dared to me but half curious.

'Why should I help you, Black?'

Sirius looked slightly confused for a moment, but quickly said,

'James has been given a love potion and is now in love with me!'

There was silence for a while.

'Ha!' we (meaning me, Kelsey, Sav and Bee) suddenly started laughing all at the same time.

'Well someone would certainly need a love potion to like you, Black!' Kelsey managed to get out between bursts of laughter.

I saw Remus flinch a little, but Sirius insisted,

'It's the truth!'

We were about to start laughing again but Remus spoke.

'Please? I need to hide too! Come on Lils!'

I ignored the fact that he called me Lils (only Sirius does that).

'Wait, it's actually true?'

I asked and he nodded.

We all looked at each other, then burst out laughing again.

'I'm coming Sirius!' James yelled from the top of the stairs and I waved Sirius and Remus towards the door.

'G-go!' I choked out, still laughing. 'We'll cover f-for you!'

They sprinted out of the common room without a second glance and the portrait closed just as James came down the stairs.

'Sirius, I'm-'

He stopped running and looked around.

'Back?' he finished, then turned and looked at me.

I figured the potion probably made him forget that we hated each other so I stepped forward.

'Where'd he go?' James asked.

He looked crestfallen.

'James.' I said, trying to ignore the giggling coming from behind me. 'We need to have a little chat.'

He frowned.

'I'm not doing anything until Sirius comes back!' he insisted, which invoked more giggling.

'Oh, but Sirius is coming back soon.' Kelsey said.

'Yeah, and he asked us to have a little chat with you until he did.' Sav added.

James looked suspicious.

'Really?' he asked.

We all nodded.

'Definitely' Bee said. 'He said it was very important.'

James blinked, then smiled.

'Ok!' he said happily, skipping over and sitting on the couch. 'So what was it that Sirius wants you to talk to me about?' He asked.

We all sat down around him.

'James.' I said slowly. 'This is going to be difficult for you to understand, so you have to listen. The thing is, well, you don't actually love Sirius.'

He looked horrified. 'Of course I do!' he shouted. 'How dare you suggest that!'

'James.' I tried again. 'You've had a love potion that made you fall in love with him. You don't actually love him and he doesn't love you. It's all-'

'Wait!' He interrupted. 'Sirius doesn't love me back?'

'Pretty much.' Sav cut in unhelpfully, and James looked upset for a moment.

Then he turned angry.

'No, you're lying!' he shouted, covering his ears. 'I love Sirius and he loves me to and we're going to live happily ever after! We are! I know we are!' He said that over and over again and we all exchanged looks, trying to contain laughter.

Finally he stopped and looked up at me with puppy-dog eyes.

'He-he does love me, right?' He asked.

I bit my bottom hip hesitantly and then shook my head.

James looked horrified again, and then heartbroken.

Then to my (and everyone else's) surprise, his eyes welled up with tears.

He snuggled into my shoulder and started crying.

'James!' I cried in shock. Then, lowering my voice, I said, 'its ok, really it is.'

I patted his shoulder awkwardly but he shook his head.

'No, no it's not!' He sobbed 'I love Sirius so much and he doesn't love me back!' He wrapped his arms around my waist and sobbed harder.

I looked pleadingly at my friends to get him off me but they were all too busy laughing.

Then Sirius and Remus walked in.

'Is he gone yet?' asked Sirius, and then he stopped and took in the sight of James sobbing into my shoulder.

At the sound of his voice, James looked up and smiled.

'He does love me! See? He came back for me! I knew he would never leave me!' He ran across the room to get to Sirius (who was frantically searching for his wand) but halfway he stopped and looked dazed.

He touched the tears on his cheeks, and took in my tear-stained shirt and Sirius' horrified expression.

After a moment of confusion, his eyes widened.

'AHHHHHH!' He screamed and scrambled backwards. 'MERLIN!' He shouted. 'Did I actually do... all of that?'

He glanced back at me and the girls and we all started laughing again.

He looked sheepishly at Sirius.

'Is... Sorry, good enough?'

Sirius looked relieved.

'Only if you don't try to kiss me again.'

At that the girls laughed harder and James cringed.

'Whoops.' He said, and looked even more stupid. 'Man hug?' he suggested and Sirius grinned.

'I can deal with that.' He said, and they did that cool (no one tell anyone that I called it cool) handshake/hug thing that guys do.

Then James seemed to think. 'Now that I'm here,' He said, and turned to me. 'Evans, go out with me?'

I rolled my eyes, and he switched back from James to Potter. 'No way Potter. You know, I liked you better when you were drugged and in love with Sirius. Maybe you should work on that.'

With that all the girls stood up at the same time (we perfected that move the first 10 times we had to do it) and walked upstairs to our room so we could start our traditional hour of 'Grrr at Potter' time.

And to be perfectly honest, although I do get really mad at Potter for asking me out repeatedly for no reason, I'm mainly disappointed.

I mean, I really thought our friendship would last.

He promised.

He promised that he wouldn't hurt me.

And he knew that hurting Sev hurts me.

But he just let his ego get in the way of what's important, and I can't forgive him for intentionally hurting me.

Not for, what, the fourth time in two years?

And I'm sad that it happened.

I would've loved to remained friends, hopefully for all of school.

But he screwed it and I'm not taking him back.

No matter how many times he asks me out.

And if I didn't have to go, I'd explain about Kelsey's new 'friend' ;)

Well, they're not dating... yet.

But I and the girls know that it's only a matter of time.

He obviously likes her.

And I know Kelsey enough to know that she has feelings for him too.

But I'll explain later.

Love, **_Lily._**

* * *

Sirius' Diary 1:32pm 30th March 1973

James' birthday was honestly the weirdest day of my entire life.

But I'll say it all in chronological order (yes, I actually know what that means)

It all started at breakfast, where my day started off...slightly sadly (for me that is).

So as we walked in and sat down at our table (yes, OUR table. We have our own 'Marauder Part' of the table. Once a group of first years tried to sit there. Let's just say it didn't end well.)

So we were just talking and I couldn't help noticing movement from the corner of my eye.

So I turn and find a certain Max Byers, as in, Max Byers who is the Keeper of the Ravenclaw team, walking over to the Gryffindor table.

At first I just thought, well maybe he's seeing a friend in Gryffindor.

Having friends in other houses is very common, so I wasn't too worried.

Until he stopped, right next to Kelsey.

Kelsey.

And he stopped.

And started talking to her.

And she talked back.

And it wasn't a 'Hi, I'm Max Byers, who are you?' type talk.

It was a 'Hi Kelsey, how are you going I haven't seen you in a while.' type talk.

As in, they knew each other.

And I don't know why it annoyed me so much.

It was just seeing my Kelsey (I can't believe I just wrote that) with him.

And he was laughing!

In a totally flirting way!

And she's laughing too!

Are they flirting?

No way.

Kelsey doesn't flirt... does she?

No she doesn't.

But she's got a hand on her hip!

And laughing!

And – grrr.

And I was about a second away from getting up and storming over there when the table exploded.

Really, all the food went like everywhere and the chairs flipped over and suddenly I was on the other side of the table, even though I have no idea how I got there.

I heard murmuring from the other side of the table, and then the question, 'Sirius, are you ok?' became audible.

'Yeah.' I said, and then froze.

It wasn't me that James was looking at.

It was – me?

I was staring across the table at myself – who was staring back at me.

I looked down.

Those aren't my hands! I thought frantically, and then I realized.

I was Remus, and Remus was me.

What the hell was going on?

'I just need to talk to... Remus.' Said... (Who said it? My body or Remus' mind?) Remus and I quickly nodded.

'Definitely' I agreed and we both sprinted out of the Great Hall.

We ran down one of the Charms corridors until we found an unlocked classroom (at least, one that wasn't already... occupied) and stepped inside.

We stood there in silence for a while until we both tried to speak at the same time.

'What the hell-'

'Do you know what-'

We both stopped and waited for each other to speak.

'Sirius I don't-'

'What's going-'

We tried to speak again.

Remus (in my body – ok for the rest of this I'm going to refer to the person whose mind it is) took a deep breath.

'You go first' he said, so I went.

'What the hell is going on? Why am I you? Why are you me? How did it happen? How do we un-do it?'

I sounded a lot more frantic than I wanted to, but Remus didn't care.

Remus put his face in his hands (my face in my hands?) and shook his head.

'I-I don't know. I feel so weird in your body... How am I going to shower!'

I would've laughed if I hadn't been so confused as to what was going on.

'Well, I suggest we both go see Dumbledore.' I said, more firmly than before. 'He'll be able to fix it.'

Remus half smiled. 'I think that is the smartest thing I have ever heard you say. It must be because you're inhabiting my body.'

I started laughing, and once I started I couldn't stop.

The whole situation was just so idiotically unbelievable.

Remus and I managed to stop laughing and be both rushed over to the gargoyle that guards (?) the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

'So, what's the password?' I asked Remus, who shrugged.

'How would I know? I figured you'd know, since you're being sent up here so often. Do you have any guesses?'

'Ummm... Dumbledore?' I suggested. 'Hogwarts? Gryffindor is awesome? Slytherin Sucks?'

We heard a chuckle from behind us.

'Liquorice Wand' said the voice belonging to the chuckle and we turned around to find Dumbledore standing there smiling.

'Problem, Mister Lupin, Mister Black?'

'Yes.' Said Remus and I in unison, and Dumbledore nodded.

'I see. Well, the hallway isn't the best place to discuss problems. Let's head up into my office.'

When we were all sitting down, Dumbledore asked, 'So, what is the problem?'

'I'm Sirius' I said, exactly the same time that Remus said, 'I'm Remus.'

Dumbledore raised one eyebrow (I SO have to learn to do that) and Remus cleared his throat.

'What we mean, sir, is that we have seemed to have switched bodies. I'm actually Remus, and he's Sirius!'

Dumbledore made no move to suggest that he was surprised.

'I see... so this happened at Breakfast I assume?'

We nodded, and he started stroking his beard (yes, people actually do that) and staring off into space.

After a few minutes Remus and I were still sitting there and Dumbledore hadn't come out of his 'deep thought trance thingy'

'Sir?' Remus asked, and Dumbledore blinked and looked at him.

'Well, after thinking about it I have assumed that must have been a student. And so, I'm assuming they used a switching spell. As switching spells are quite complex, especially being used on people, I have decided that it will most likely wear off by itself. Trying to switch you back myself could make matters even worse. However, if in 24 hours it does not wear off, I will see what I can do. Although I will notify all the teachers, I urge you to keep this just between yourselves. It would not do for gossip of this to be spread around the school, I know how exaggerated these stories can get.'

(He's not wrong. A rumour went around that this girl in the year above us was pregnant, but really it was her older sister who was out of Hogwarts. That and the fact that she'd put on a few kilos helped one of the girls in her dorm start the rumour)

Knowing that arguing was pointless, we sighed.

'Thanks professor.' We murmured, and walked out of his office.

But that's barely half the story.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and were halfway down the corridor when we heard the shout,

'Sirius!' I looked (forgetting for a while that I wasn't Sirius) to see James sprinting towards us.

'Sirius!' He shouted again, and I braced myself for him crashing into me – he didn't look like he was planning on stopping anytime soon.

As he thundered past me and wrapped his arms around Remus, I remembered.

Then James took Remus' face in his hands and whispered something that I couldn't hear, but made Remus' eyes (well, my eyes) widen in what seemed like horror, and he struggled (in vain) to get away.

James spoke again, but this time I could hear him.

'I love you.'

Remus screamed and pushed him off, in the process falling onto the ground.

I grabbed James before he could try and get to Remus again, and told Remus to go get Dumbledore.

I don't really want to go into any more detail about the whole thing, except for one thing.

It was before James went normal again, while he was upstairs getting changed.

We were begging Lily and her friends to hide us and explaining what happened when Kelsey said, 'Someone would certainly need a love potion to like you, Black!'

Which hurt a lot more than I'm willing to admit.

And I know that I'm only in second year, and I'm really young and stuff, but I really like her.

I don't know why, or how I can like her so much when I'm like 13, but I really do.

Yea but James got back to normal, Remus and I were switched back in the night (it was a hard time working out why I was in Remus' bed when I woke up) and life is back to normal.

Well, as normal as you can get at Hogwarts.

**Sirius.**

A/N: Words can not express how sorry i am for not updating in ages. I am so very very sorry and i hope you all forgive me enough to review?


	39. Of Mirrors, Confessions and Acceptance

Diaries of Hogwarts Past

Is 'I'm Sorry' Good enough? Because I really really am. Everything's just been so hectic and I'm running out of ideas. And worse, I can't promise another chapter any time soon. But I'll try. I can promise you that much.

Do I really have to keep writing that I down own Harry Potter? I get so upset every time I am reminded of that fact.

Chapter 39 – 2nd Year at Hogwarts

**Savannah's Diary 7:07pm 5****st ****April 1973**

Today wasn't too bad.

We had a substitute forDADA.

She was really nice – some of the older kids told me that she left Hogwarts the year we came.

We had an awesome lesson – we actually got to cast the spells that we learnt on EACH OTHER (obviously not ones like Lumos or Alohamora, some of them).

I was partnered with Bianca, and she got me so many times I almost thought (which is a silly thought) that she was TRYING to hurt me, but that's preposterous.

But at the end of the lesson as I was walking out of the door she said,

'Savannah... Groebacke?' in a way that meant she was asking about my last name. 'It seems familiar somehow... where could I have heard it...?'

I gulped.

'Um, oh, I, um, I really doubt that. It's... German! Yep, German. Sorry, have to rush, I'll see you later!'

I almost sprinted out of the corridor, and went down a different corridor to get to Charms. I wanted a bit of time to myself, to re-centre myself after what she said.

I was scared that she might've found out my secret.

After one hour of knowing me!

Then I passed a mirror.

I had never seen it before which is surprising, since I had been down that corridor before and it was two meters high and one meter wide.

I could see myself in it – my brown eyes and brown hair, my heart shaped face.

My small neck, my angular shoulder blades, my thin arms.

I could see my thin waist, and small curves starting to show, and my long legs.

It was me... but it wasn't.

It was me as other people saw me, but not as my true self.

Not the me I sometimes felt like.

No one could see who I was behind the mask of smiles and laughter I always have on.

This façade I put on to pretend to be normal.

That the light in my eyes fade when I am reminded of my father.

I am so lucky that I have not inherited much from him – just the colour of my eyes – so that no one no one can recognise what I really am.

The child of a monster.

But it scares me sometimes.

I'll do something and then freeze – realizing how like him it is.

That one time of the month I'll get really mad, for no reason at all.

It takes a lot of effort to be calm, and pretend to be happy.

I cry the most that night.

I wonder if I can ever tell them.

I mean, I know I should.

They're my best friends.

I should be able to tell them anything.

But can I really?

They always say I can.

Well, we always tell each other that we can tell each other anything.

But that always seems like for such trivial things, like guys or gossip or something.

What would they do?

If I told them?

I'm not what he is (a fact I thank God for every day), but maybe they wouldn't even let me tell them that.

Maybe if I just said what my father was they'd just scream and try to get away from me.

And I wouldn't blame them.

It's probably exactly what I would do.

But maybe they'd still accept me.

It's what I keep trying to tell myself, over and over again.

They'd still accept me. They'd still accept me. They'd still accept me.

But... what if they didn't?

I can't handle that what if.

Sometimes I just lie in bed and cry.

Silently.

I just lie there and let tears pour down my face.

Then I switch sides because the pillow gets wet.

But not once have I ever made a noise.

If one of them caught me crying... I might actually tell them.

My self-control is a lot lower when I'm at that weak state.

I feel like just pouring everything out along with the tears.

I'm sorry, but I can't.

I can't lose the only important things in my life because of my father.

Which is why they can never catch me crying.

Ever.

_**Sav.**_

* * *

**Bianca's Diary 7:32pm 5th****April 1973**

I spent the whole morning 'sick in bed'.

I was faking, of course.

Luckily they didn't bother sending a healer up.

I insisted that I wasn't THAT sick, but I just needed a bit more rest and some quiet and I'd feel better soon.

Of course they believed me.

They're too naive to think that I could be lying to them.

Instead, I spent the whole morning talking to mother.

She sent me some of that new 'convo parchment' and we discussed some of the finer aspects of the plan.

It's still only in the early stages, and if the master plan fails I can easily pull out without anyone knowing anything.

But it took a lot of work to get me into this year.

And I don't know _what_ they did to get me into Gryffindor.

But when I look into the mirror, even with my Gryffindor robes on, I can still see the true Slytherin that I am.

And my brother, of course, knows the plan.

He and I talk occasionally with the paper that mum bought us, but of course not in public (unless he's referring to my mud-blood and blood-traitor friends).

But no one will guess.

When I look in the mirror, while others see innocent bright blue eyes, I see dark secrets hidden.

Some see my blonde hair and think 'dumb' but I see a mask hiding all the things I can do that are beyond any of their wildest imaginings.

Some see my petit figure and underestimate me, but those who know who I truly am know that I am a weapon in a plan that will change the world.

And it's amusing that those who think they know me the best (that mud-blood, half-blood and blood-traitor), are those who are fooled most of all.

They think they know me.

Ha.

I have played my part well (Hehe that sounded so sinister).

But mother says that I have to build a reputation.

No one knows me.

She says she doesn't care what I do, as long as I was known.

So I think I have a plan.

But she also says to burn all our notes.

Of course I will, but...

Sometimes I wish that I could keep them.

At home she's always too busy with the plan, and she only ever writes my letters in code...

Sometimes I wish that she would be my mother first, and convener of an evil plan second.

All girls need their mothers, whether they believe it or not.

Sometimes I wish that I could go home in the holidays and tell her really excitedly about what my friends and I got up to, or how some really hot guy asked me out, or wave my really good report card at her.

And she would listen along, and laugh, and get excited with me, and give me a treat for doing do well.

I wish she would take me shopping, out for manicures or to get our hair done.

But instead I come home and tell her how the plan is going along.

I tell her about my friends, but not about what we did.

Just about them, who they are, their blood status, family etc.

What the teachers are doing, what Dumbledore's doing.

Especially what Dumbledore's doing.

I'm starting to understand everything though.

When I was younger and training for it, I didn't understand why.

I mean, I _knew_ that pure-bloods were better than everybody else, but I didn't understand what we were trying to do.

But now I understand.

Every month I write a report on what's going on.

I'm starting this month's soon.

I was so happy when she fought for me to do this.

It was such an honour.

It _is_ such an honour.

So I'm going to do it right.

I swore I would make her proud.

And I will.

I know I will.

And I've found something that will.

I know Remus' secret.

It wasn't that hard to find out.

You just have to know what you're searching for.

He's a _werewolf_.

I never would have guessed that _Remus_, kind, sweet Remus could be a monster like that.

But I guess when I expose him he'll grow bitter, sour and turn away from everyone.

And drive him towards his own kind...

But I won't expose him now.

Not yet.

But now I have something over him.

And I have a feeling I might need it.

_**Bee.**_

* * *

**Sirius' Diary 7:55pm 5****st ****April 1973**

Why?

Why do I have to look so much like everyone in my family!

Mum's eyes, Dad's face, Grandad's hair.

I even have an almost identical build to one of my uncles!

And Regulus looks almost exactly like me...

I look like a Black.

I even _sound_ like a Black – apparently I have the same voice as one of my other uncles.

The only think I'm happy about having is my Uncle Alphard's sense of humour.

All my friends know that I'm not like the rest of my family.

Even the Slytherins do – they give me hell for being a 'traitor' (which I accept proudly) almost every day.

But in the holidays, I walk down the street and people stare

Sometimes it's a glance, others people glare for what seems like minutes.

And I know that all of them are thinking 'It's a Black'.

All they see is the label, not the person I really am.

Of course, other 'pure bloods' look at me with respect.

The Blacks are a very highly regarded family.

I wish I wasn't part of it.

They're too caught up in 'pure blood-ness' that they miss the most important things in life.

I mean Lily has to be one of the smartest girls in our year (if not THE smartest), and she's muggle-born.

And I'm sure that if I looked in a mirror and didn't know it was me, I would think the same about me as all those other people.

I mean, no one can help but make assumptions about me.

The first time I went to James' place in first year, he introduced me as just 'Sirius'.

His mum looked at me and said, 'Hmmm... you look familiar. Do I know your family?'

I looked down, sure that she wouldn't like it once she heard it. 'Black' I mumbled.

She looked confused for a moment and glance at James, but then smiled brightly. 'Ah.' She said. 'You must be that Black that's in Gryffindor. Not that it would matter if you weren't. I remember your uncle, he wasn't too bad.

I looked up in surprise and smiled.

I don't say this to James, but they're sort of my new family.

I mean, I call the boys my brothers all the time.

But James... and his parents... they're my actual family.

I stay there half the holidays (all if I can manage it).

I'm pretty sure they bought a new bed to put in James' room just for me.

Sometimes I wonder... what would it be like to live with them?

I mean permanently, not just for a week or two in the holidays.

If I could get away from my real family...

I'm not really sure what's going on with them.

I was home for the holidays one week, and all these other families came over.

The Malfoys came over, which Narcissa was happy about.

I hear she and Lucius are getting pretty serious (of course everyone approves).

But they all clambered into the conference room, and stayed in there for like two hours.

I was made to go upstairs pretty quickly, but not before I heard everyone talking about preparing the house for 'him'.

Who is 'him'?

Regulus and I had a talk about it.

We decided he must be some very influential pure blood, and we wanted to get in his good books or something.

But he seems to have a lot of authority.

But more important to that, I talked to Regulus!

And he talked back!

We don't talk much often anymore.

I mean I tell everyone that I don't care.

I tell myself sometimes.

But... he's my baby brother.

I want to protect him, and help him and guide him...

But he's too far gone.

I can't do any of that anymore.

But I'll always be here for him if he needs me.

I promise.

**Sirius**

* * *

I know I don't deserve it, but reviews? Please? I love you all :)


	40. AN

Ok, I'm not going pretend anymore. I'm actually completely out of ideas. Now I have four options.

1. Stop the story completely.

2. Get ideas from you guys

3. Start it again from 4th year where I do actually have some plotlines (the resolutions of things started in my story now)

4. Continue irregularly

I would REALLY prefer not to stop the story, because I just really want to do something with it. Ideas from you guys would be great as well, but the only problem with the third point is all the people that would start it and have no idea who or what I was talking about when I started talking about Bee and Kelsey and Sav. Even though I would put the previous plot lines in from before. So I really want your thoughts. Please?


End file.
